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| 03/15/01 - Nevermind The Why And Wherefore - I missed doing the thing I planned to do this morning, I overslept. I had my clothes put out and ready and everything. I'm getting closer though. Seems it just wasn't meant to happen today. I think I'm supposed to be doing just what I'm doing ... Enjoying some peace and quiet. I chatted with Babs online this morning. Seems she has some excitement in her life. She's leaving for a cruise tomorrow. It's pretty exciting to have someone drop a cruise on you with a week's notice and pick up the tab to boot. I'm thinking her family is concerned about her medical problems. So am I. This trip should really help though her spirts have been pretty good throughout. Online substance ... there's just about as much of it out there as there is in real life. It's something you have to search for, though occassionaly some just falls in your lap. I heard from Mr. P this week, lots of changes going on. I wasn't let in on the details, what else is new ... lost substance. Still though, appreciated that he's kept in touch. I checked out geocities and found that my web site is listed on the front page of the "popular" diary and journal listings. Must be all the hits that I've done myself, still doing lots of changes. I visited a site that was listed near mine. It was a "youngun" but there was a bit of substance there. I enjoyed the time and the thoughts. Couple of funny things though. His guestbook asked for your bra size, hmmm. I checked the previous entries and noticed no one had filled in that blank; neither did I. Also, he had a pic of his Great Aunt Soandso and he'd commented that she was 81 years old and looked 60. I agree. That brings me to these age thoughts I've been having lately. I'm dissapointed in myself for having them. It's never really been a biggy with me. You can't do anything about it. But, when I told Babs about Aunt Soandso she said she had an aunt like that too and that it's too bad that the body doesn't keep up with the mind (or something like that). So much for trying to stay positive. I think what happened is that I sort of anticipated having some kind of depression when I turned 50, so much so that I decided to ignore the whole thing. However, it appears that I didn't do all that good of a job ... Little thoughts keep popping up here and there. Maybe I'll be over all this when I hit 51. I think about Aunt Soandso and how she'd probably tell me to get over it. I guess she'd be happy to be 50 right now. Then I think about 30 years ago and being 20 ... I wouldn't want to go there, not really. So like I said, there isn't anything I can do about it ... Move on. |
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