Entry033001

03/30/01 - I finally won a dollar on the lotto. I got the mega number. It's about time. I spent $5 on the ticket. So, am I still a winner? I actually lost $4. Saturday night the jackpot will be $27 million.

Chair glue isn't working. Part of this is due to the messed up way my back is this week. I pulled something I guess, then the stress settled in. It happens, not often but, it happens.

I read some new journals today. I'm feeling good about my own. I think there actually is a voice. The more I use it the clearer it becomes. I don't want to rant incoherently. I don't want to talk about some family member or ex family member. I just want to write the day, this day, my day. And then there are the dreams ...

When The Jock came home yesterday he found me at the computer laughing. I shared what I had discovered: the plain jane. This web site made me laugh. It's exactly what I needed. And ... It worked wonders. My attitude lightened and I returned to center. You really must check out the Peeps Shakespeare, it's better than Andy Dick. Laughter is my best medicine. I live for the giggle.

Back to chair glue. This is a tool you are supposed to use to keep yourself focused on writing. I think the moment you reach for the chair glue you are already a goner. I get fidgety. I need to get up, walk around, have some tactile experience. Basically, it's just discipline. I Usually end up wanting conclusion and that's the glue I use for accomplishment.

I'm starting to feel back together again even if I still appear a bit scattered. Actually, I haven't felt like this in a very long time. I think I must have been sick. Denial helps. Anyway, my back still hurts but not as much. I guess I pulled something. These things take awhile.

I received an e-mail last night from My Friend. It started out, "Hiya Tootsie Roll." I giggled.