05/03/01 - Should I stop wishing to be a princess? That's the thought that jumped into my head as I was surveying the sorry state my house is still in. I don't think I made mention around here that I was waging a war on dirt. But somehow the word got out and there appears to be a counter attack from the anti-clean faction of the household, the majority by the way. I'm sure humor is the best way to approach this subject. However, it hasn't helped the aesthetics. I had planned some big plans for this week, they backfired. Oh, I didn't expect miracles. I had just hoped that maybe I could make a visible dent, a showing of effort. Sort of an under construction look. Instead, we are back to demolition.
I haven't given up, I'm sure it could get worse. I'm taking off the pressure though. I'm just not ready. I may have gotten used to living in the midst of chaos. There's always light at the end of every tunnel. See, at least I have a positive attitude. And ... Tomorrow is another day. And ... There's more to life than a clean house.
I'm really very grateful for my journal. It really helps me get my thoughts in order. See, there is some order in my life after all. I'm currently reading Writing Down The Bones Freeing The Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg. I'm not too far into it, still at basics. She keeps monthly journals, a separate notebook for each month. She has a rule she follows. She fills every page of her notebooks. If she gets toward the end of the month and she has a lot of notebook left, then she has a lot of writing to do. She said she splurges and buys notebooks with interesting covers on them. I liked the idea. I tend to write on whatever is handy. I usually have two or three notebooks going at a time. It's hard to keep track of how much writing I've done. Sometimes I just skip the notebooks and go right to the computer.
I went to the closest store, the grocery store, to get me a notebook. They didn't have any with pretty covers. What they did have though was a notebook full of black lined paper. You write on the black paper with pretty colored gel-ink pens. I bought the paper and the pens. I'm three days into the notebook and I love it. Everything is in one place. It's all very orderly. Even my notes in the margins look good. I've begun a new short story and find myself drawn to working on it several times a day. My writing is becoming organized. So maybe this is what I've needed. It makes sense doesn't it? Organizing from the inside out. |
