11/24/01 - I walked out to my car in the dead of night and it was drizzling. The moon was aglow. It was quiet and still ... "mist"ifying. That was Thanksgiving eve. It's been raining on and off ever since. The whole week had been busy at work. Wednesday/Thursday was even worse. And, two Hospice patients died. I had been wishing all my callers, even the jerks, a Happy Thanksgiving. But the Hospice calls, how sad. None of my sad matches that kind of sad. I managed to stay awake Thanksgiving morning, waiting to watch the Macy's parade, by e-mailing Thanksgiving greetings to eight strangers. I don't know why, it just seemed like an interesting and entertaining thing to do. I like writing letters and that and the parade were pretty much going to be the holiday for me. The parade was wonderful. I'm glad I took the effort to watch. I love the Broadway acts. And I love the Radio City Rockettes. I've been watching those kickers since I was a little girl. That parade could possibly be the closest I ever get to New York City. My boys were all going off in different directions. They were satisfied with my having put together some festive snacks. When they left, I went to bed. I woke up to a very quiet and very cold house. Maybe I should have cooked a turkey anyway just to have the oven going to warm the house. No, nevermind. I had purchased some sliced turkey from the deli and enjoyed a turkey sandwich on a very sour French roll. I'm not having a problem being alone now. I started getting back used to it not too long ago. I get out and meet people, enjoy my interests, stay busy. But when I happened upon an opportunity to couple again, I thought I might give it a try. There were some beni's to it and getting away was enjoyable. But there's got to be more ... Oh woe is me. And, I'm not talking about that kind of more. Because, this guy was more than more. He was overwhelming. He proposed to me on the first date. I thought it was a joke, but no. There were flowers and candy and ... Jewelry. Oh my. It's not that I didn't appreciate that, but I didn't need it and it didn't feel right to me. And he talked a lot but I found the talk boring. And beyond that but most important, there were bottom line issues. I'm laid back, I let people be themselves, but even as a hippie back in the days I did very little drugs. I gave that up and never missed it. No personal judgment on him and I didn't give any reasons for declining to get involved, but the fact that I was getting a giant stomach ache when I was around him was a signal to get out while the getting is good. When I told The Dude I think I need to just be a free spirit he said he understood. He said he would be patient. I wanted to say, don't hold your breath. It was a little sad, he was a nice man. He was accepting of my boys, but would I ever let my boys be around him smoking weed? he smoked with his son and his son's friends, minors. No, I allow my kids freedom and hope they use some good judgment, but I don't open the door and say come on in where bad habits and especially illegal ones are concerned. Did I get sidetracked? Guess I was explaining why I spent Thanksgiving alone. I'm fine. And I'm happy. I had to work again that night anyway and relaxing was the object. I went on the computer a little before I got ready for work and was surprised by someone I had done a little chatting with. He told me he had a webcam and asked if I wanted to see him. I had to think about that one. What if he was a porn star wannabe? Well, I took a gamble. There he was and mostly all I could see was his head and bare shoulders. Oh no, don't get up. Too late. Bare down to his skivvies. Well, he may as well give up on wanting to be anything. I saw nothing but stomach, lots of stomach. I asked him not to show me anything more and he didn't. Whew. Then I had to laugh. He couldn't see me laughing, I don't have a webcam. But those are cool. The picture came through very clear. It might be fun to have one if you had good friends you could cam with. He was wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving as I clicked him away. I checked my e-mail before signing off and there was a short Thanksgiving greeting from an Old Friend, sweet and surprising. And, five out of the eight e-mails I wrote had responded, another surprise. Around midnight that night while I was at work, I got a phone call from My Agent. Well, he's not MY agent. He's a talent agent. He's my agent friend. And he's probably about the most free of the free spirits I know. I was surprised by his call. I hadn't returned his last couple. We've known each other a few months but I still don't know too much about him. He'd always seemed strange and I couldn't make him out. But this call was different. We had a discussion. That was good. But, it didn't change my feelings about him being strange. After that call, I had another laugh. Except for speaking to him on the phone, I had spent the whole day quiet. Yet, it was one of the most entertaining and surprising Thanksgivings I have had. |
