Entry123001

12/30/01 - There is never a problem of not having enough to say. It’s more like having too much and which part of too much do I want to explore? Life has been very full for me lately. Peaceful moments have been few. I have not been at a loss for thoughts either, which is probably why I have been able to start work on my book in earnest now. I have two of the stories in draft. And, I’ve gotten my notes organized. It’s all put into a large binder with divided sections for each story. It feels good to me to have this tangible proof of effort. There are a couple of things that have sparked my industriousness. One was a quote from a Bob Dylan song. The Jock gave me an old used Bob Dylan CD for Christmas, a very good one. Plus, it came with all the words, bonus. I took the quote and printed it nicely in the center of a blank page. It says a lot about what I want to convey with this collection of short stories. It makes me anxious to move ahead. Just like the supportive words I’ve received recently. It’s nice to hear encouragement, but it’s even nicer to have actual support. I tried to hook up with a writer a while back. He said he had 89 pages of his novel finished. I thought we could be cheerleaders for each other. I never got a chance to propose that as I got side tracked. So now my cheerleaders are non-writers. One even tells me he flunked English. I’m at a good place with my writing right now. Every time I write I become excited and joyful.

But, I need some peace. I need to calm my restlessness. Last night I was wrestling with the restlessness. I had been fighting it off since 2 p.m. that afternoon. The thought of going out for a drink alone was still a bit scary to me, but seemed to be the best thought of anything I was thinking. Then I remembered I had a phone number of a young man I had a very enjoyable
conversation with a while back at the coffee house. What the hell, maybe he’d be in the mood for some hanging out. I called. He answered. He sort of had forgot about me. It took him a moment to gather what was going on, and even after talking a few minutes he stopped to ask if it was really me. LOL. He then said he’d been thinking about me but figured I wasn’t going to call. Well, he
already had plans. He was going to the movies to see Lord Of The Rings ... With his father. However, he asked me to come along. It wasn’t what I had planned and surprised me a bit, but you know what? That was a great idea. I told him I would meet him there. Then I went to tell The Child I was going out and, light bulb moment, asked him if he wanted to come along. Well, yea. So I called the Young Man back and asked if his father really was going with him. He said yes. Well, then I told him I was bringing my son. He thought that was a good idea. Well, it was a great idea. We had a good time. I’m glad I got to take The Child to the movies. We hadn’t done that in a long time, not since Perfect Storm which must have been about a year and a half ago. The young man and I sat next to each other, with a father and a son on each end. This wasn’t really a date, we
didn’t have any time to talk really, just a few movie comments. But, it was nice. It got me out of the house, gave me time to be with The Child, and also do a “friend” thing with a friend. I hope the Young Man doesn’t see the whole encounter with me as strange, actually it has been. But, I’m very aware of what I’m doing and honestly don’t want to jerk anyone around or anything. He still
doesn’t have my phone number. I told him I’d call him again sometime. If it seems like the right thing to do, I will call him this week and tell him what was going on, how I was going through some things. I can‘t get involved with the Young Man, he’s too young. But, we might be able to be friends. Actually, I think we already are friends. You know what? I think I’m getting good at this
spontaneity thing ... I think I’m remembering how.