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| CASSAUNDRA |
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| I Look At her In That Paper Dress. I Wonder Why She Won't Burn. She's Just A Paper Doll, Thats All, Just A Paper Doll. I Dress Her Up She Knocks Me down I Dress Her Up She Knocks Me down They Try Her On For Size, she Fits Nice. One Size Fits All One Size Fits All Now Her Soul Is Dead, Now Her Bodies Raw, You Can Numb Her Pain Artist: Kittie "Paper doll" |
| DESCRIPTION: Golden brown and slightly almond shaped eyes, framed by thich lashes give a searching glance around, mischeviousness, reflected with in their depths.Full, slightly pale pink lips, form a coy smile most of the time. . Her long and thick, blue black hair tumbles strait down her back , stoping just before the curve of her hip. She is a petite girl, standing at about 5'4" tall, and weighting a little over 100 lbs. She is athletically built, having spent much of her time on her rollerblades, she wears shorts and T-shirts, or skirts and tank tops. Not one for anything more then casual dress, she is your average pretty teenage girl, with an aura of something sad and slightly desperate about her. |
| I came out of the hospital, tired and cold. My belly hurt, and my wrists where scared. I came out into the night, and was free. I am alone, but it's better then the pills, better then the lies, better then the monsters, that made me want to die. I hated them, I see them still, beast eyes glaring into my soul. I feel their claws on my skin, just like a spiders that crawl across my legs. I hate it. I hate it! The drugs made it go away, but it made me numb, made me dumb, made me stop feeling the world. It tried to make me blind. No, more drugs! No more hospitals and tests . No more needles full of poison in my veins to make me fade. I want to be alive, want to feel the pain, want to see the monsters for what they are, demons with a face, and soft words |
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| I am not a good girl, I am damned, my mother said so. I am evil and sinful, it's in my nature, I cannot help it. I want to be good, to be a good girl, listen to what I am told , and go to heaven. But there is no heaven for me , my momma said so. She would say so as she beat the evil from me, she would say so as she read the Bible at night to me, as my bed time stories. My tears would make her hit me harder, I would beg her to stop But she said I was weak. I would kiss boys, and make a mess and dirty my cloths . I liked doing it, and I kept doing it, because I was bad. I never felt the hand of god, or here the whisper in my ear to be good like mommy did. Mommy said that I was deaf but I did here someone, and they had other things to tell me, bad things I am not sad that I am bad any more, it's ok, I am going to hell, but I know, that while I am here, I can do what I want, and I'll be a good girl. Maybe, god doesn't care if I am good, but I do, because I don't have to be bad either, I have to be me. |
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