Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Can a storm be officially designated as a tornado without touching down at a trailer park?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
What happens when you yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
If it's 0 degrees today, and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, ...how cold will it be?
What year did Jesus think it was?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Is there another word for synonym?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, who's the idiot that said "Quit while you're ahead"?
What are Preparation A thru Preparation G?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
If a cigarette smoker wakes up from a 7-year coma, does he want a cigarette?
Why is it that when you are on the telephone, writing furiously and holding a finger up to tell the person who just came into your office to hold on a second, they ask "Do you have a minute?"
Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?
How come there aren't "B" batteries?
If the post office has machines that can sort snail mail at 1000's of timesper minute, then why do they give them to a little old man on a bike to deliver?
Why do doctors call what they do practice?
Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
Is a metaphor like a simile?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you ate pasta and anti pasta, would you still be hungry?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
Isn'teverywhere within walking distance if you have the time?
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth?If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?
Why aren't there ever any GUILTY bystanders?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
Why do they call it life insurance?
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?
How do you remove a club soda stain?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
Where do flys go when it rains?
Why Do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Why is there only one monopolies and mergers commission?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"
Why do they call it apartments if they're all shoved together? from THAN0SEID
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? from Curt
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? from Curt
How many times do you use a disposable razor? from Curt
If our knees bent the other way, what would a chair look like? from Curt
If superman is so clever, why does he wear his underwear on the outside?
If you are refinishing a table, shouldn't you have to restart? from Curt
If you have 24 odds and ends on a table, and 23 fall off, what do you have left, an odd or an end? from Curt
If you are cross-eyed and dyslexic at the same time, would see okay?
You know how most well labeled packages say "Open Here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open Somewhere Else"?
When a crash-test-dummy hits his head, and no engineers record the results, does he make a sound?
When they finish making styro-foam what do they package it in?
When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera?
Where can you buy those little plastic ends to put on your shoe laces?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?
Why does sour cream have a use-by date?
Why is it that no matter how tall you are or where you're standing, if you're washing your hands, and the water splashes you, it always looks like you've pissed yourself?
Why is it that when they show a computer ad they show computers and when they show a car ad they show cars but when they show a condom ad they show people playing tennis? from Curt
Why is there always one in every crowd? If you took all the ones in every crowd and put them in another crowd, will there be one in that crowd?
Why when you throw up does it go everywhere but in the toilet?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume of the radio?
Why is it that you see this written on car seat belts: This seat belt does not offer any protection if it is not buckled up?
Why is it that international magazines that advertise products will have the same description of something in different languages, but the description of each language is written in english? Who's that supposed to benefit? from Curt
Why is the "knee-jerk" response to a paper cut is "Oh, those are the worst kind."? Don't you think getting hacked with a machete would be worse? from Curt
If a building is already built, why do they call it a building and not a built? from Jeremy Parker
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If 7-11 is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why do weinies come in packs of ten, but buns come in packs of eight ?
What ever happened to the Bubble Boy ?
Why do people drop a letter in the mailbox and then open the lid again to see if it really went down ?
Why do people believe that pushing an elevator or drink machine button several times will bring the car/drink faster ?
Why do the camera men for baseball games always show the players at the moments they are adjusting their cups?
If a bear farts in the woods, do the trees hear it?
