L: Look for the facts- Place: A party ata friend's house whose parents are not home. Who: You and a distant friend, with others surrounding you. When: At night, say on a Friday. What: An invitation to have sex with this girl. Why: Who knows why she offered, but you want it because it feels good and would be a good time. How: Go to a bedroom and let loose.

I: Imagine the Possibilities- There are a few options here. One is to choose to not have any sexual contact with the girl at all. This is the safest of the decisions. The only danger would be possible ridicule from others, but no serius repurcussions. The second would be to do some things, such as making out, oral sex, etc, but not to have intercourse. This option would be enjoyable, but could end up in an STD or could lead to intercourse, even though it was not originally part of the plan. Stopping is much more difficult than going. Also, the relationship with the girl could be damaged by one occurence; it could become awkward. The last decision is to have intercourse with the girl. This is the riskiest of the choices. It could result in an STD, pregnancy, or long-term repurcussions of the situation coming to light later in life such as before you are married. Your relationship to the girl would definately be altered, probably for the worse and the friendship could suffer. You might also get in trouble if parents found out. Or, if you did it once, that might set a precident to do it again.

S: Seek Insight beyond your own- This step might be fairly difficult in this situation. If you have a close friend there you could talk to him. Or what might be even better woud be to think of others who have made decisions in this area and what happened with them. If you know people who became pregnant or contracted an STD or who turned out fine, think of them. Maybe also think of what your parents or someone else older might advise, because, believe it or not, they were once young. My parents would say to definately not do it and probably to come home. I have a cousin who had a child when she was about 18. It was a difficult situation, but it turned out alright. I imagine she would advise against it, too. A good friend of mine would advise against it, too. Other than that, I am on my own.

T: Turn inward- How would you feel with yourself after making each decision and what is your motivation for doing so. Not choosing to have sex woud be motivated by my beliefs as a Catholic and my desire for chastity and to abstain before marriage. I would be upset at the time for not doing it, but later that night I would feel a sense of peace and joy confirming that I did the right thing. My motivation for either having sex or "fooling around" would be for pure self pleasure. They would not be out of love for the girl. If I were to do either of those, I would later feel a deep sense of guilt, much worse if I had sex than if I messed around. I would think about the situation for days, with it bothering me often. Still, the experience would be wonderful while it lasted and that promise of immediate gratification is tempting to the point that it can make you gloss over the thoughts of later feelings for the feelings you have now.

E: Expect God's help- God is loving all the time and wants you to make the right choice. A short meditation listening to your deepest feelings is a conversation of God. Once feeling and knowing what is there, pray for the ability the accept the strenght God gives us to do what is right. My deepest self says that I should refrain from any sexual activity with the girl. That is the easy part. I know that God gives me the strength to do just that, but will I accept that strength and use it as my own? I do that sometimes, but not others. In this situation, if I do what I know is right, I need to find that strength inside of me and act on it.

N: Name your decision- Coming to a firm conclusion based on the previous steps of the process and sticking to it. The only proper decision in the situation for me would be to not have any sexual contact with the girl. This is based on the physical possibilities and risks resulting from potential actions and the emotional risks for both myself and my relationships later in life. Looking inside of myself, the only way I can be truly satisfied with my decision is if I refrain, or else I will be ashamed of myself later. I feel that I will find the will to use the strength God has given me and politely refuse the offer. If ridiculed, I also feel that I have made a solid enough decision to stand by my choice and even leave if necessary. I will later be proud of myself for thinking not only about the present, but the future as well.