"Anybody up for a game of truth or dare?" James suggests.
"I can't play truth or dare.  I'm not drunk enough," Kara replies.
 James goes to the refrigerator and grabs another round for those at the table.  The group of seven teenagers have just gotten home from a school dance.  Mary is home alone at her house this weekend and is having a party.
 "Okay, we're going to play a game of red or black to speed things up," says James.  All you have to do is guess if the card is red or black.  If you're right, you pass out the same number of drinks as the value of the card.  If you're wrong, you drink the card's value."
 "Easy enough," says Heather.  "Let's play."
Heather, Kara, and Mary are the only girls at the party.  They want it that way.  They invited a few boys from the dance to come over and drink.  James, Mike, Steve, and Keith were the boys of choice.  Heather thinks it would be the perfect night to hook up with Steve.  The night moves quickly and soon enough the girls agree to play the game.  The group goes upstairs and finds a spacious room.  James and Steve bring extra beer.  Before things begin, the group makes a truce that no one in the room will share the events of the night. What could happen might not be fit to pass around school on Monday.
 "Let the games begin!" yells Keith.  "Who wants to go first?"
 "I will," says Mary.  "Kara, truth or dare?"
 "Why'd you have to pick me first?  Umm...truth," responds Kara.
 "How many people have you slept with?" asks Mary.
 "None," Kara confesses with a look of embarrassment.
 "Really?" asks James.  "There's nothing wrong with that."
As the beer cans are emptied, the game becomes strictly one of dare; truth no longer exists.  Mary and Heather are more experienced sexually than Kara, and this makes Kara feel uncomfortable.  She is the only virgin in the group.  For some reason the beer gives Kara a sense of security, so she keeps on drinking.  The game continues.
 "Okay, Steve.  I dare you to make out with Kara," says James.
 "What?  Okay, come over here, Kara," Steve says.
 "All right, Steve.  Let me take a couple of sips first," Kara says, as she grabs her beer.
 Steve and Kara begin to make out as the entire group watches and cheers them on.  The game continues and the dares are getting more and more extreme.  Kara is asked to take off her shirt and leave it off.  Heather is asked to strip down and stay naked for five minutes.  At this point, everybody has made out with everybody else.  Kara says she has to go to the bathroom and asks Heather to go with her.  Heather and Kara go into the bathroom and lock the door behind them.
 "What is going on out there, Heather?"  Kara asks frightened.  "I don't think I want to play anymore.  This is getting out of hand -- although I did get to kiss Mike!"
 "I know.  I feel like we should stop, but I think Steve is starting to like me," says Heather.
 "Let's go back in and say we only want to play for a few more minutes."
 "Okay, that sounds good.  Then maybe Steve and I can go somewhere," Heather responds, full of hope.
         Kara feels better that she talked to Heather, but she still feels uneasy and pressured by the situation.  She knows she got herself into this game, but she didn't think it would get out of control like this.  The whole idea of this party was for the girls to hang out with the boys they had crushes on, but it's spinning more and more out of control with each beer and dare.  The girls return to the room and suggest they stop the game after a few more dares.  The boys agree and the group asks the final questions.
 "Kara, I dare you to go down on James," dares Mike.
 "No way!" exclaims Kara.  "That's where I draw the line.  I am not doing that!"
 "No, Mike, I don't think that's a good idea," says James.  "That's taking it a little too far."  Heather stops the game and the group decides to call it a night.  Mary retires to her room and the rest of the group finds a place to sleep.  The room the game was played in has a bed and two giant couches.  Kara puts her shirt back on and settles into the bed with Heather by her side.  Everyone falls asleep.
         Kara wakes up to someone holding her tightly around her waist.  She looks down and notices her shirt has been removed.  She feels like she's in a dream because she is still wasted.  She tries to move, but a pair of strong arms won't let her.
 "What are you doing?  I'm trying to sleep," says Kara, searching for a voice to identify the stranger.  Then she hears, "It's okay, I'm just holding you.  It's cold."
 Kara recognizes James' voice and tries to move again.  "Where's my shirt?  I'm cold."
         James starts to kiss Kara's neck and starts removing her pants.  She tries to pull away and says "no," but he grabs her tighter and pulls her pants down.  He takes his shorts off with one hand while he holds Kara with the other.  Kara strains to get away.  She doesn't want to wake anybody else up so she tries to be quiet.  James takes Kara's hand and places it on his penis.  As Kara pulls her hand away, he pushes her head toward his penis.  She again says "no" and tries to pull away, but he gets on top of her.  She can feel him getting closer.  She decides that she isn't going to get away just by saying "no."
 "I really need to go to the bathroom.  Can I get up, please?"  Kara asks.
 "Yeah, I guess, but come right back," James demands.
        Kara pulls up her pants and runs to the bathroom and locks the door.  She splashes her face with water and sits in the corner without her shirt on, just shaking.  The doorknob starts to move; someone is knocking on the door.  It's James.  Fear runs through her.  She doesn't know what else to do to get away from him.  Why won't he leave her alone?  What did she do that made him think he could do that?  Kara stalls, fumbling around in the bathroom, trying to find an excuse to get away.
 "Are you done yet?  Can I come in?" he asks.
 "I'm almost done," Kara says, her voice trembling.
 "Meet me in the room at the end of the hall.  Nobody's in there."
         Kara runs downstairs to Mary's room and grabs a shirt.  James follows her.  As she exits the room, James grabs her.
 "What are you doing? asks James.  We weren't done up there."
 "I'm all set," Kara replies.  "I don't want to do this."
 "Well, I was having a good time," says James.
 "I wasn't."
 "We can't tell anyone this happened.  You have to promise me that you won't tell," James says, as he rubs Kara's face and neck.  "Pinky-swear that you will tell no one."
 "Yeah, sure, whatever," Kara agrees and walks away.
        It's three o'clock in the morning.  Kara goes into the kitchen and pours herself some water.  With her hand shaking, she drops the glass.  She cleans it up, stumbling.  She feels dirty and used and can't concentrate on anything.  She goes outside and looks around.  She goes back inside and cleans the entire kitchen.  Anything to keep herself busy.  She takes a shower, staying under the scalding hot water as it burns her skin.  She wants to feel anything but the pain she felt from him.  She washes her hair three times, her body five times.  She stays in the shower until there is no more hot water.  No one wakes up.  No one hears her.  Kara finds a pack of cigarettes and goes outside.  She smokes the entire pack.  She sits next to the pool and watches the water, wondering what she did to make James think she wanted him.  What did she do wrong?  Did she lead him on?  Was she just too drunk?  What if he tells someone?  Did she ask for it?  Did he do this to anyone else?  No answers came to her, only confusion.  She waits for morning.
 "Hey Kara, what are you doing up?  It's only eight o'clock," inquires Mary.  "Are you okay?"
 "Oh, yeah, I'm fine.  I thought I would just get up and clean for a little while," says Kara.
 "Are you sure you're okay?  You look like you had a rough night."
 "I'm fine.  I'm just hung over."

According to sociologist Howard S. Becker, we define deviance not by the quality of an act itself but by the ways a given society or group reacts to the act.  This seems true whether we are discussing such behaviors as child abuse, illicit drug use, or rape.  Becker's point suggests that defining behaviors as normal or deviant is relative to the context in which they occur.  In centuries past, when women's status as property was encoded in custom and law, rape was categorized as a property crime.  The "rape" of a woman by her husband was as inconceivable as a parent "abusing" a child.  Until the 1970s, most states recognized that a rape occurred only when a man forced a woman to have sex and when that woman was under considerable threat of injury (Stuart Van Wormer and Bartollas).  Clearly our notion of rape is changing.  We now include in our repertoire of terms such concepts as date  rape, acquaintance  rape, and partner   rape.  But new concepts and our application of them coexist uneasily, and we are often uncertain how and under what conditions to apply them.  Many Americans -- including perhaps Kara in the story "Truth or Dare?" (Anonymous, Nexus, this issue) -- might not view what happened to Kara as sexual assault or, more specifically, attempted rape.

Research suggests that people are significantly more likely to sympathize with a victim of sexual assault if the offender is a stranger, if the offender uses force resulting in physical injury to the victim, and if the victim physically fights back (Madriz, Warshaw).   For situations that do not reflect these characteristics, victims may be reluctant to report the incident, feeling that they are to blame or will not be believed.  Kara's silence, then, is quite understandable.  This, in part, explains why most sexual assaults never come to the attention of the criminal justice system.

The dilemma facing Kara and others in her situation is this:   If she reports the incident, she runs the risk of becoming victimized again, this time from the social stigma and unwanted notoriety often associated with sexual assault cases.  If she does not report what happened, there can be no investigation or subsequent conviction.  Given the high rate of recidivism among rapists, Kara's silence on this issue increases the probability that James will victimize other women in the future.

In general, such cases underscore the need for action at the individual and institutional levels.  Individual women can try to "break the silence" about violent acts committed against them, and public demonstrations or rallies (such as "Take Back the Night") can be one way to help women find their voices.  Women must also recognize and vigorously defend their rights.  It is a right to walk our streets and not be harassed or assaulted, to have safe workplaces, and not to be forced to have sex.  James' sexual advances were not invited nor welcomed.  While Kara was unable to yell or fight back (perhaps due to her inebriated state and fear), this in no way implies consensual sex.  As Robin Warshaw notes:  "Rape that occurs on dates or between people who know each other should not be seen as some sort of misguided sexual adventure.  Rape is violence, not seduction" (20-21).

The fact that so many women respond to rape or attempted rape with shame and guilt suggests a form of social control of women that takes place largely outside the formal agencies of criminal justice.  This entails, at least in part, the need to address our society's gendered double standards and mixed messages.  (For example, are the men in the story perceived as taking as great a risk as the girls by playing strip truth or dare?  And, how are girls and women to reconcile the societal prescription that they be sexually appealing but not sexually active?)

I think most people would agree that we need to address the way that girls and boys are socialized (See Beardsley, Nexus, this issue).  Warshaw suggests we teach young children "long before they begin to date to break the model of aggression/passivity that marks male/female relations: by promoting constructive, nonviolent ways to deal with personal conflict and anger as well as by teaching young people the responsible use of alcohol, the dangers of drugs, and rejection of the myths that contribute to the belief in 'justifiable' rape " (p. 46-47).

Also of great importance is the need to continue and increase support services to victims of sexual assault  (rape crises centers, battered women's shelters, hot lines, etc.) so women (and men) can either leave their abusers (in case of ongoing abuse) or confront their rapists.  For the sake of  Kara, and the many other women in similar situations, these services must provide assurances of confidentiality and anonymity.

Becker, Howard S. 1966. Outsiders: Studies in the Sociology of  Deviance. New York:
        Free  Press.
Madriz, Esther. 1996. Nothing Bad Happens to Good Girls: Fear of  Crime in Women's
        Lives. Berkeley: University of California  Press.
Stuart Van Wormer, Katherine and Clemens Bartollas. 2000.  Women and the Criminal
        Justice System.  Boston: Allyn and  Bacon.
Warshaw, Robin. 1988. I Never Called It Rape. New York: Harper  & Row, Publishers.

From the time boys are old enough to interact with others, they are bombarded with ideas of the need to be tough and strong.  They are given toys that depict men as muscular and violent, carrying large weapons, bent on mass destruction.  Many of these boys grow up in households that encourage violence.  In high school they are commended for tackling other boys out on the field or winning a wrestling match.  When they get into fist-fights with their peers, it is often brushed off and considered normal.  I believe the differences in socialization between boys and girls explains some of today's disconcerting statistics related to battering and rape.

Boys are raised to be strong, while often girls are raised to be obedient, subservient, and tolerant.  It is no wonder, therefore, that men are still socially, politically, economically, and physically dominant in our society.  And since powerless groups are usually the victims of groups with power, this places women in a very vulnerable position.

In the case of marital rape, for instance, women are often not believed nor offered help, since the perpetrator is a husband.  This type of abuse can be intensely traumatizing, and yet very few people are willing to get involved in a situation like this.  The NCVS estimates that 1.1 million women are assaulted annually by their significant others (Barkan).  You can assume that the real number is probably lower if you take into account under-reporting and other statistical problems.

Rape and battering are huge problems not just in this country but all over the world where women are considered to be less powerful than their male counterparts.  Part of the problem may be attributed to the fact that abusers are often not prosecuted for their crimes, either because the women are too scared to report it or because the legal system fails these women, protecting the men that are brutally beating them.  Differential Reinforcement Theory within criminology states that people will commit crimes if they decide that the rewards outweigh the potential risks.  In the case of batterers, the risk is low.  Consider the case of O.J. Simpson.  He abused Nicole Brown Simpson for years, and even when she wound up dead after finally leaving him (which is when the majority of abused women are murdered by their significant others), Simpson walked away without punishment.  Maybe it is because of his money, but I suspect it had something to do with his being a prominent male figure in society.

While no one theory can explain the silent epidemic of abuse in this country or why so many men do not get punished for their abusive crimes, taking a look at the socialization of our young boys and girls can certainly give us some insight into this complex problem.  We must also examine why men continue to hold the dominant roles in our society, dominating our government and political systems, and why our legal system continues to be soft on domestic abuse.  It is time for this country to stand up and protect women.

Barkan, Steven E. Criminology: A Sociological  Understanding. Upper Saddle River,
        NJ:  Prentice Hall.

It is not an uncommon human fantasy to dream of interacting in an intimate way with other animals.  As humans, we possess the capability to live out these fantasies.  But the question we must ask ourselves is whether or not we possess the right.

The purpose of swim-with-dolphin programs is to allow people to enter an enclosed tank with captive dolphins and force the dolphins to play with them.  This type of exhibit is growing in popularity and sprouting up in places such as Hawaii, Florida, and Bermuda.  They are money-making tourist attractions that are created at the expense of the dolphins' rights to free will, health, and happiness.

Dolphins are highly social animals.  They require constant interaction, which is why they allow us to interact with them.  The interaction that swim-with programs creates is not the type found in the lives of free dolphins, and it does not satisfy their needs.  No amount of care within the exhibits could make up for the amount of stimulation they receive in the open ocean.  The dolphins are forced to swim with a crowd of screaming humans, and they comply out of sheer boredom.  In the ocean, these dolphins would be traveling in tight family groups and covering hundreds of miles a day (Masson).  We have no right to rob dolphins of their freedom so that we may play out our selfish fantasies.

This lack of normal social behavior and adequate stimulation has serious side affects on the dolphins in these programs.  They survive only a few years in captivity as opposed to their natural life expectancy of around 45 years.  This could be partially due to the fact that dolphins are highly susceptible to human disease.  Symptoms of boredom and stimulus deprivation, which have be seen in dolphins used by swim-with programs, include pacing, swimming in circles, and rubbing their chins on the enclosure until they are raw (Salkever).

Supporters of these programs present two major arguments in their favor.  The first argument involves the educational benefits of swimming with dolphins; i.e., we gain better understanding of the human-dolphin relationship.  This argument suggests an obvious rebuttal.  Humans are
terrestrial; dolphins are aquatic.  Any relationship we have with them was created by us intruding upon them.  It is true that all species are symbiotic and interact in the sense that we inhabit the same earth, but this is not what is taught in these programs.  They ultimately consist in intensive training in anthropocentrism -- a worldview that sees humans as all powerful and all other animals as subordinate.  The dolphin is portrayed as a servant of human entertainment, confined and waiting to please the masses for a small fee.

The second argument for swim-with programs is that the dolphins appear to enjoy interacting with the tourists.  Dolphins are often curious and playful by nature (Masson).  Any animal such as this, confined to captivity, will take what they can get as entertainment.  The difference between the entertainment the dolphins receive and the entertainment the humans receive is that the humans waited in line, willing to partake in this activity.  The dolphins were often violently captured and forced into participation (Salkever).

People who have swum at swim-with exhibits may counter that the dolphins were happy and smiling.  This would be a certain defense of the program's existence if it were not a highly ignorant statement. Dolphins possess extremely neonatal features for which people have an affinity.  Simply because they are cute, look like they are smiling, and we are predisposed to react positively to these attributes, does not mean that the dolphins are having a positive experience (Masson).  Dolphins sometimes are aggressive towards humans.  This aggression has not be shown in the swim-with programs as of yet.  However, the combination of two extremely unpredictable components, a captive animal and excited human children, is a recipe for danger (Salkever).  Saying that the dolphins are happy is simply a way to avoid the guilt associated with their captivity and to justify it at the same time.

The mental and physical stress of the dolphins in swim-with programs strongly outweighs any attempt to justify these programs.  The effects such as abnormal, neurotic swimming patterns and shortened life span prove that we do not have the right to force these dolphins to be slaves to our fantasy.  If the dolphins truly enjoyed this life, these side effects would not be present.  Both the plethora of negative effects on the dolphins and the false education of participating consumers are enough to suggest the termination of swim-with-dolphin programs.

Masson, J., McCarthy, S. When Elephants Weep.  New York:  1995.
Salkever, A.  "New Rules Receive Ecological Dispute Over Swim- with-Dolphins
        Programs,"  Christian Science Monitor.   September 1998, Vol. 90, p. 30.