11 May 2004

The bitch got caught.  I employed the young man, Humberto, to seduce the young Avril Lavigne.  After hearing "Don't tell me," all of the talk about not "giving it up" set off a few alarms.  I knew she was full of shit.  Britney Spears used the same tactics of appearing virginal to increase record sales.  Britney convinced the public for awhile, but with those gyrating hips, there's no way that p00n hasn't seen any action.  Homey don't play that shit.  It seems Avril learned a few things from Britney: appear pure, then turn overly sexually suggestive.  Both aspects of this plan use some form of sex to acquire loads of cash.  First, appearing virginal lures guys into thinking that they may be the first to pop some hot celebrity cherry.  The latter alludes to the fact that they have the potential to get some hot, although looser, celebrity p00n.  Each aspect works surprisingly well, they get lonely, overly horny guys to listen to crappy music.

While I was trying to find a naked man, I came upon this article.  It's about a photographer that went from boobies to balls.  I also have a new found appreciation for those who photo edit using naked men.  It took me about 30 minutes of sifting through pictures of naked guys to find a suitable picture.

Naked men are a problem for the singularly named British fashion photographer Rankin. As a picture taker better known for his images of more physically compact, socially acceptable female bodies, he needed to face some personal taboos before he could come to any sense of formal artistic resolution. "It took me some time to actually appreciate the male body, to stop being scared of dicks," Rankin recounts in his preface to his entertaining new book, "Male Nudes."

Perhaps this collection of irreverent full-frontal snaps of buck-nekkid men of most ages and shapes (if not ethnicities) might then be dubbed "How I learned to stop worrying and love the penis."

By Glen Helfand