I have always been fascinated by the paradox that is bdsm. It is a mass of contradictions -- affection is shown by the infliction of pain; obedience is demanded but made more sweet by its delivery from a sub with an independent mind of her own; delicate intimacy is obtained with harsh implements of torment; closeness is achieved with ropes and chains. And here once again, are some odd juxtapositions. The submissive is described as having different types of power -- some growling and violent, while superficially it is the dom with the "power". 

In the most fulfilling and exciting ds relationships that I have experienced, both dom and sub are "powerful" and the exchange of power, the granting of authority from one to another, is the act that demonstrates the deep trust that must be the foundation of such a relationship. She must trust that I will claim, tame, and control her without making her less of a person. She must trust that I will dominate her without endangering her more than necessary or appropriate; she must trust that I will not exceed our agreed upon limits. 

A very intelligent and quite lovely submissive lady (pardon me while I sigh as I think of her) once asked me if it wasn't true that the sub really made the key decisions. I said no, the sub makes one essential decision -- to submit. Being submissive is like jumping out of an airplane. The sub must make the decision to jump or not to jump. But once having jumped, the sub should turn over control to the dom, who must be the parachute. My job is to get her back to earth, safely and intact, but with a thrill of a ride along the way. 

~ author unknown ~