Summary of material

The first of the seven habits of highly effective people is proactivity. Proactivity is more than simply taking initiative, although initiative is part of it. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. What we do is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. Steven Covey says that we have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

Highly proactive people do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling. We can liken this to those who have a low score on the locus of control self-assessment, those who tend to take responsibility for their actions and mistakes and have an internal locus of control.

References are made in the first chapter of the book about reactive versus proactive language. A reactive individual will use sentences like, "There’s nothing I can do", or "That’s just the way I am." A proactive person will say, "Let’s look at our choices", or "I control my own feelings."

An important ingredient in proactivity is dealing with mistakes. The proactive individual will acknowledge a mistake immediately, correct, and learn from it. As Mr. Covey puts it, it is not what others do or even our own mistakes that hurt us the most; it is our response to those things.

How I will use this material

When I took the locus of control self-assessment test I wasn’t surprised by the results. I have a high external locus of control, which told me that I tend to blame others for my own problems. I tend to blame heredity, the weather, inanimate objects, or people walking down the street. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People tied into this idea and was a true eye-opener. Taking responsibility for your actions is paramount to success in your personal and professional life.

Steven Covey talks about the circle of influence and the circle of concern. A highly proactive individual has a much larger circle of influence than reactive individuals. What this indicates is that the proactive person recognizes that his or her concerns are not controlling, they can be controlled. Those problems that we cannot control are placed in the circle of concern, but matters that we can control are placed in the circle of influence. In other words, most anxieties we have can be controlled or lessened by what we do.

I have recently learned this first hand. Two situations came to mind when I read the first habit in this book. The first occurred last fall when I was told my position at work was being eliminated. I was offered several other jobs within the company but I declined all of them. I was given a little time to decide what I wanted to do and chose to take the severance package that was offered and become a full-time student.

After word got out that I was leaving the company, several people stopped by to offer words of sympathy, condolences, if you will. It was as though someone had passed away. When they realized that I was actually ecstatic about this change they were shocked. I don’t blame them. The other corporate staff members who were leaving certainly were not pleased. However, I had come to realize that this could be a good thing for me. I could have kept my job, but I decided to be proactive, take the initiative, and do what was right for me. I realized that I could choose a positive response to what some would consider a dismal circumstance.

I have always been an optimist. When I start to feel depressed I ask myself why and really ponder the answer. Although I may blame objects when I run into them, and sometimes blame heredity for some of my faults, I am smart enough to realize that I have control over my own life. When I was worried about money a few years ago, my first thought was, "Well, it could be worse. I’m not homeless, and I have food on the table." My second thought was more proactive, "I’m going to do something about it. I’m going to get a part-time job that I like."

The second situation that made me think of Steven Covey’s book also happened last fall. My boyfriend and I had had an awful year. No matter what either of us did we could not seem to get along, we no longer seemed to "fit". After I had made the decision to leave my job I started thinking about many things. One of those things was why my boyfriend and I were having problems. It was then that I decided to see a counselor.

Part of my problem was that I had a very low self-esteem. My counselor convinced me to read several self-esteem and confidence books in order to determine where my problem came from and how to change it. He talked in great detail about several of Steven Covey’s habits, and being proactive was one of them.

When I first considered seeing a counselor I honestly didn’t think it would do any good, but after talking to him for an hour I felt like I could conquer the world. When he told me that I have the ability to act on my own value system and make the right choices, I knew he was onto something. I can take initiative and not wait for things to happen to me. I can make things happen.

Steven Covey talks about "have’s" and "be’s". Reactive people use phrases like, "If I only had that" or "I’ll be happy when I have this". I used to be like that. Now I try very hard to think proactively; "I can be more this" or "I can be more that." I now believe that if I want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing I have control over, myself.

In the past few months things at home have improved tremendously. The counseling I had, combined with the readings from class and what I read on my own had a great deal to do with that. I have learned how to take responsibility for my actions and what happens to me, and stop blaming others. I have also used what I’ve learned to help my boyfriend. I discovered that he also suffered from a very low self-esteem and he has taken steps to change his self-image.

I believe that good personal relationships help you in your career as well. The first step to a successful career is to have positive relationships outside of work and that will reflect how you act and react at work. In order to maintain those positive relationships you must act accordingly. Mr. Covey is absolutely right when he says that we can be happy and accept those things that at present we can’t control, while we focus our efforts on the things that we can.

When The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was first assigned, I groaned. I thought it would be a waste of time and energy. I can honestly say that I can’t wait to read the rest of the book. Although through my counselor I had already discovered the importance of proactivity, I believe there are other things I can learn from this book that will help me in my career, and equally important, my personal life.