(Otherwise known as the Holby City Drinking Game)
by V. McDonald, BA, RN Dip. HE and A. Walton, BA, PGCE
Accepted for publication by Everard’s Brewery in association with The Lancet.
It is compulsory for every medical drama currently on television to include the following archetypes in order to inform the layperson of current medical practice,. These dramas therefore can be shown to perform a valuable service in demystifying the arcane workings of the medical professions, especially when “have-a-go heroes” turn up at the roadside to administer first aid to a critically ill car crash survivor.
For the full effect of these scenarios to be felt, the practitioner is required to avail themselves of a bottle of Baileys or other liquid with an alcohol by volume content of at least 15%. This is to be taken orally p. r. n.. Dosage is one swig per occurrence of the following.
Warning: side effects such as terminal boredom and ennui may result if these guidelines are not followed. Do not drink, drive or operate heavy machinery after indulging in this drinking game.
“He needs a lateral C-spine, FBC, U & Es, cardiac enzymes, EUA, MUA, GFR, ESR and 12-lead ECG for suspected Torsades de pointes syndrome, stat!”
Spurious medical dilemma
Clash over medical treatment
Relatives arguing / fighting at bedside
Family secret initiates cardiac arrest / deterioration
One of the staff is critically ill
Staff shout at each other
“We did all that we could”
One of the organ donors is a criminal
An arrogant doctor kills or maims a patient by “mistake”
The nurses become over-emotionally involved
Members of staff have an affair
There is a clash with the hospital management
Surgeons are upper-class twits
The nursing staff are maternal
A death is contrasted with a joyous event
A patient makes a mysterious, miraculous recovery
Staff perform CPR delicately and/or at a 45° angle to the patient’s sternum
There is a lack of vomiting / blood / sputum
The patient flies off the table when shocked
A mad psychiatric patient attacks someone
There is a Christmas birth
Obviously preventable accident occurs
Near death experience
Slamming doors
Hand-held camera-work to suggest gritty realism
Member of staff has a nervous breakdown
Seasonal gastric lavage
Crisis of faith/ethics
Staff have to hold back a family member in order to stop them interrupting a procedure
Ostentatious and incorrect use of medical jargon, e.g.
Surgeon’s brow is wiped during an operation
Patients have a cardiac arrest without any warning
Cardiac monitor is beeping
Cardiac monitor flatlines during a cardiac arrest
Old people with crap medical history survive a cardiac arrest
Someone carries on CPR after everybody else has stopped. They get hysterical in the process.
A relative of staff is a patient in the hospital.
A low-risk procedure goes disastrously wrong.
Family reunion
Redemption on last day
Flagrant breach of patient confidentiality
