I'll never break your heart, I'll never make you cry, I'd rather
die, than live without you, I'll give you all of me honey that's no lie.
Mariah listened to the Backstreet Boys CD that she had asked her
mom to buy for her when she visited. Her mom couldn't come so she sent it by
mail to Mariah. Mariah had just received it. The minute she heard 'I'll Never
Break Your Heart', she fell in love with it. She had been listening to it for 3
days straight now, and already she knew all the words. She listened to Brian's
voice and thought it was the most incredible thing she had ever heard. A voice
of an angel.
"You still listening to that, honey?" asked the nurse.
All the nurses knew Mariah now. They treated her like a daughter.
"Yup! I love it. Come on, admit it Stella, you love it
too!" teased Mariah
"Alright, alright, so I love it. Big deal. What is this,
confession time?" Stella smiled at Mariah. "Well, dear, lunch is
served. If you need anything, I'll be right outside."
"Thanks Stella."
"No problem, anytime." said Stella and left the room.
Mariah turned her CD player back on and continued listening to the
music. She hummed and ate her lunch at the same time.
It had been a week and half since her break up with Jake. For a
couple of days afterwards, she cried on and off. Sometimes for Jake, others for
no apparent reason. She felt lonely, and afraid. She would sit and think about
all the things that could happen and could not happen. Would she have a future?
Would this ever end for her? When will she be happy? The days wore on and there
were only more questions, no answers. Everything she did made her think more of
Brian. She needed someone to make her laugh, to talk to when she was alone or
afraid. She needed him to hold her hand through her chemotherapy treatments
like he used to, and most of all, a friendly face to look at and talk to when
she needed him the most.
After lunch, Mariah wandered off into the pediatrics department.
She went there once in a while in a spare time to cheer up lonely children by
themselves. Children who's parents couldn't always be there for them. Just like
Mariah's. She had met a kid name Selwyn. Selwyn didn't have any parents. He was
always in and out of foster homes. He was born with aids. After he was born,
his mother had left him in a park, hoping that somebody would come and claim
him. When Mariah had heard this, her heart went out to the poor little boy. He
was at the age of 7, the age where he should be at school, exploring new
things, and playing with his friends.
"Hey Sel! How's it goin'? greeted Mariah.
"Mariah!" cried Selwyn. He always enjoyed her visits.
"I'm so glad you came! Look what the nurses gave me to play with. A
Nintendo 64. Cool, huh?"
"Very cool." replied Mariah, gazing at the little boy
who was jumping up and down in front of her.
"Come play! Please, please, please?" pleaded the little
boy, putting on a puppy dog face.
"Aww...not the puppy face!" cried Mariah.
Selwyn just kept pleading with her.
"Oh all right!" agreed Mariah. "I'll play. It's not
like I have anything to do."
The two companions plopped themselves in front of the TV and began
their game of Mario Cart. They played for three hours straight until Selwyn had
to go down for his daily check up. Stella came to pick him up.
"Oh, come on Stella! Just one more game?" pleaded
Selwyn.
"Young man, you said that five minutes ago, and you've
already completed two games. Now, march on out here before your doctor gets mad
at you."
"Go on Selwyn," said Mariah, "we can always play
later. Besides, you wouldn't want Dr. Schmidt to get mad do you? You know how
he looks when he gets mad!" Mariah made a funny face, trying to
impersonate Selwyn's doctor.
Selwyn laughed and said, "Alright, but when I get back we're
playing again!"
"You're on!" said Mariah. She then said good bye to
Selwyn and left for her own chemo treatment.
* * * *
Brian stepped up to the hospital doors and let out a sigh. He clutched the bear
that he had bought for Mariah even tighter.
'This is it,' Brian thought. 'I hope she's not mad at me.' With
that, he pulled open the door and stepped into the familiar environment.
Brian had flown into town that morning, but he had gone back to
his apartment to sleep. There was a time difference and he was completely
exhausted.
Brian got into the elevators and pushed the floor that Mariah was
on. He began to rehearse what he was going to say.
"Mariah! How are you? You seem great compared to when I last
saw you!" What am I retarded? thought Brian, I can't say that.
He kept on practicing until he got to Mariah's floor. It was his
old floor too. Brian stepped out of the elevator and old memories flooded back
to him. He had spent 6 months in this hospital recuperating. Lots of things
happened to him while he was here. He had met and become friends with an
elderly lady. He sat and talked with her when she needed company, but three
weeks later, she passed away. Not even a friend came to visit her while she was
alive, and no one claimed her when she died. Brian's heart broke. Brian's
thoughts were then interrupted.
"Brian Littrell!" cried Stella. "What on earth are
you doing here? I didn't think you'd be back so soon! Are you okay? You are
okay, right? Can I get you anything? Boy, will Mariah be surprised!"
"Whoa, slow down Stella! One thing at a time!"
"Sorry, Brian, but I'm just a little surprised to see you.
I'm happy you here. Well, not happy that you're here," said Stella
quickly, turning red, "but I'm happy because-"
"It's nice to see you too, Stella." said Brian with a
laugh. She hadn't changed a bit.
"So what are you doing here?" asked Stella with a
concerned look on her face.
"Don't give me that look, Stella. I'm fine, I'm actually here
to see Mariah."
"I figured as much." said Stella with a smile.
"She's right where you left her."
That comment stung Brian a little. He knew Stella didn't mean it
in any way, but Brian's conscience hadn't let it go, he felt horrible about
leaving Mariah the way he did.
Brian thanked Stella and proceeded down the hallway to Mariah's room.
When he stepped inside he found the room empty. He felt disappointment yet
relieved at the fact that she wasn't there. He was so incredibly nervous. Brian
walked farther into the room and looked around. It hadn't changed much, only
now she had more flowers and teddy bears around her window. Her bed had a quilt
on it. Brian walked over and touched it. He could smell her in the room. She
always had this distinct, yet lovely smell on her. He missed it. He placed the
bear he had bought her on her pillow, then went to the window and looked around
some more. While he looked out the window he heard soft footsteps, then a tiny
little gasp.
"B-Brian?" said Mariah in a voice barely audible. She
was shocked, surprised, astonished, and she felt joy and relief.
Brian turned around and looked at Mariah.
"Hi Mariah."