Chapter 1:

We Understood We’d Never Be Alone

"Oh man, Howie! You're gonna love what I came up with for class today!"

I raised my head to acknowledge my younger friend as he came in the room. I smiled, taking in his appearance. On his head he wore an electric green furry hat, to cover up his newly dyed orange hair-I was guessing his mom didn't know about that change yet. A huge necklace hung from his neck and the cross was hard to miss. The tee shirt he wore proclaimed: I'M SEXY and his jeans had so-called "fashion holes" ripped in each knee. Alex shifted impatiently and I finally snapped out of it.

"What's your plan?" I asked.

"I'm gonna be takin' a test," he announced proudly, his dark eyes dancing. "But don't say anything!" he urged. "I don't want anyone to take my idea."

I raised my eyebrows slightly. The whole idea seemed tame for Alex. We were performing pantomimes in the acting class he and I shared. Usually, his ideas were much more unique. But I gave him an encouraging nod anyway.

We both turned then, as Brian entered. Born and raised in Kentucky, he still had a thick drawl since transferring here three months ago. "Hey Brian!" I called loudly. Brian glanced over with interest. "Guess what Alex's gonna--" Alex clamped a hand over my mouth before I got any further, and I worked my jaw against his hand.

"D! I ain't afraid to bite you back! Now get your scrawny ass over to the chair and sit down before I change my mind!" Alex warned with a slight shove.

I smirked. He thought he was so tough. I leveled a gaze at the kid three years my junior, and tried to look intimidating. But he was already distracted, talking animatedly to Brian.

I walked slowly over to my desk and sat down, trying to convince myself that I wasn't nervous. I knew I was one of the oldest here, but ironically, that fact didn't give me a sense of security. Especially since all the young talent kept coming in. Take Alex for example. He was only 15, but in a second-level acting class. I was 18; Brian was 17.

The instructor entered then, and class began shortly afterward. He started up the same way every time, asking for volunteers and I shrank in my seat. As usual, Alex's hand was the first to go up. Smiling slightly, our instructor nodded and watched Alex take his place at the front of the class. It was no secret that Alex was the favorite.

I watched in amazement as Alex sat calmly, waiting for his cue. I glanced across the aisle and saw Brian chewing his nails in anticipation. I felt kind of bad for him-he was one nervous fella. In a way, I wonder how he even made it to Acting II.

I directed my attention back to the front, where Alex was "taking his test." I grinned as he leaned forward in his chair as if to cheat, when the phantom "teacher" walked by. The class cracked up watching Alex sit perfectly straight, his eyes fixed ahead. His brow knit together as Alex leaned over and pretended to fill out the nonexistent sheet of paper before him. It wasn't long before he was dissatisfied with his answer and erasing furiously. I sure did love watching this kid perform. He attempted to cheat again, and even went so far as to feign sickness to get out of the test. I cringed at his ability to turn green on command. Erasing again-he was too much! Now Alex picked up his paper and discovered that he had created a small hole, however, he dismissed it and continued. It wasn't long, though, before Alex realized that his paper resembled a piece of Swiss cheese. The class snickered as he made a great show of sticking his finger, as well as his pencil through the imaginary holes. He turned the paper at various angles peeking at us. The next time the teacher walked by, Alex deliberately shredded what was left of his test paper and tossed it forcefully in the recycling, before giving the teacher an animated and apparently colorful description about what he thought of the test.

Alex walked back to his seat proudly-he was strutting. I sat back, prepared for a whole lot of other people doing a whole lot of the same thing. That's what always happened. 'Cause Alex was real creative in what he did, in comparison, the rest of the class kinda seemed boring. Sure enough, I sat through five or six very blah pantomimes of my poor acting buddies all mute and stuck in boxes.

I groaned inside as I saw Brian take center stage in his plaid shirt and worn blue jeans. His honey-colored hair fell across his forehead and his blue eyes were bright with terror as he pressed his hands flat in front of him. It was one of the saddest performances I saw up to that point, to be honest, not because it was bad, but because he was nervous and stuff like that. His hands were shaking the whole way through, and that made the realism factor go down quite a lot. At least I knew for one thing that the look of terror and desperation on his face was real, not because of claustrophobia, but why get picky?

After sitting through the rest of my classmates' attempts at miming (and making a crappy attempt myself,) I was pretty disgusted. I don't want it to seem like I'm arrogant or anything, but they made Brian's box routine look pretty damn good. I couldn't figure out if the standard was dropping or if Alex just made it look that way.

“ . . .sing 'Hero'?" Alex was asking. He was staring at me as we walked to our next class together. I figured I better pay attention to him, or he might bust out with Mariah Carey any minute.

"What?" I asked.

"I SAID," Alex emphasized, looking impatient, "D'you think we're gonna sing

'Hero' today?"

"I don't know; do I look like Mr. J?" I asked, referring to our choir director.

"Actually," Alex ventured, cocking his head to one side and looking serious.

"Y'all set yourselves up so good." Brian advised, grinning and shaking his head.

"Don't start, Rok." I shoved him good-naturedly into the choir room.

I watched in amazement as "Shy Bri" as I call him, came to life suddenly. He ran over to his cousin, who was my age. Kevin was sitting at the piano, playing some chord progression I didn't recognize. Kev's family's also from Kentucky, I sometimes joke that those two do everything together, 'cause they moved here around the same time, though Kevin came a few months ahead of Brian.

I backed off as I noticed a blond blur barreling our way. I couldn't help grinning when I realized who it was. Though three years younger than Brian, this new kid now had the older slung over his shoulder and was spinning him around. Nick was just a freshman, the youngest kid in class-he just turned 14. Maybe it was both of them being new that made he and Brian get along so well.

"Hey y'all," Nick greeted happily, Brian still slung over his back.

"Hey kid," Kevin returned, rescuing his cousin, and setting him on the ground. "You all right, Bri?" Brian looked sort of sheepish at the concern, but nodded.

I knew that we'd have to get started soon, so I started moving toward my seat in the middle section of the students. I was caught off-guard when I felt someone grab me and spin me around.

"Howie D! Howie doin' today?" Alex was asking from behind me. He always thought he was so funny. I rolled my eyes, and tried to stretch out to make my feet touch the floor, but the spinning motion was getting to be a bit much for me. "Aw, Howie, you're just too damn small for your own good!" I was trying to get my wits back together when I heard the sound of a real distinct throat clearing. Oh crap.

“Alex, put Howie down, and find your seat.” Mr. J had arrived.

“Hey! Mornin’ J!” Like usual, Alex was totally unfazed by being scolded. I watched as Alex threw an arm around Kevin’s neck and Kevin did the same. Then the two doofos made a big deal of tromping over to their section. I was actually surprised; Kevin usually didn’t go for stuff like that.

We went through warm-ups the normal pattern of solfege stuff we did every day. I had to divide my time between keeping up with the tenor part in the round we were in, and glaring at Alex, who insisted on singing every pitch on the same shrill note.

"Do it again for Alex." Mr. J told us. He looked pissed. That could be because the same thing happened every day. Alex always did that the first time through, so we always ended up wasting time where we shouldn't. Kevin put a hand on his arm, talking seriously to him, and Alex nodded, pouting.

Once we were done with all our warm-ups, we began working through "Hero" much to Alex's delight. He was still fighting hard for the solo, even though Mr. J insisted that it was written as a female part. Anyone else would have let the decision stand, but it just made Alex want the part more than he did to start with.

I watched as Mr. J picked two girls to do the solo. He was totally ignoring

Alex's raised hand by now. Even when he started waving it wildly and jumping up and down, it didn't make a difference. I almost felt bad for Alex. Almost.

As Mr. J worked with the two girls for the solo part, I was distracted by little conversations around me. When I heard stage whispering, I turned and was somewhat shocked to see Brian and Nick holding a side conversation all their own. I reached over to smack them with my folder before Mr. J noticed and yelled at them.

We'd been in class almost an hour when Mr. J finally released us to go work on our ensemble pieces. See, if we wanted, we could do a small-group thing in front of class for extra points, and as it was nearing Christmas and everything, Nick, Alex, Brian, Kev and I decided to do, like, an a cappella version of "O Holy Night."

We all crammed in a practice room, which, if you've never been in one, they're really small. It totally doesn't work to have, like, over one person in them at a time. Now imagine the five of us. It was not a good time.

Kevin took a seat at the piano and eyed Alex, who was singing Mariah's verses to "Hero" in a painfully high octave. Nick giggled, which was not a good thing to do when Alex was on a role. It only reaffirmed his performing ability.

"IT'S A LO-O-ONG ROAD!" Alex sang, "WHEN YOU FACE THE WORLD ALO-ONE! AND NO ONE REACHES OUT A HAND FOR YOU TO HO-O-O-O-O-OLD!" He dramatically dropped to one knee and reached his hand out pathetically for Nick, who swatted it away, blushing furiously. "YOU CAN F--” Alex was cut off when Kevin slammed a purposely sour chord on the piano.

"Oh my God," Nick muttered under his breath. "It's a damn good thing he's not accompanying us," he said, laughing.

Brian elbowed Nick hard for his language, and looked to Kevin. Kevin looked about ready to strangle all of us one by one, in various ways, so I pulled Alex to his feet and flipped open my music to approximately where we had left off.

I smiled as Brian sang the first line softly to himself, "O holy night. The stars are brightly shining. This is the night of our dear Savior's birth!"

"Y'know, Bri, it's all right if you relax a bit," Kevin encouraged.

"AND it starts!" Alex exclaimed in an announcer's voice, obviously annoyed. "Kev, why don't you just let Brian do it how he feels it? Maybe he's not ready to belt it out like you are!"

"It's fine, Alex. He's just tryin' to help out," Brian offered softly.

I shook my head at Alex. We didn't need anymore of this in rehearsals. What we needed was some real time practicing the piece. It was more difficult than I had assumed. Anything a cappella with five-part harmony is gonna be difficult-even a Christmas carol.

Alex went through his solo very well, but like anything, there was room for improvement. Kevin was quick to point out exactly which areas those were.

"Hey, Alex? Don't worry about stylistics right now. You gotta know your notes first. 'Cause it doesn't do any good to make it sound cool if you don't know what you're singin'"

"I know what I'm doing, Kev! Just because you're older than m-me doesn't mean you can tell me how to sing my part! It's MY damn part, okay? If y-y-you had a solo, I guarantee none of us would be on your ass about it, telling you how you breathed wrong in the fourth measure!" I sighed as Alex threw his music forcefully at Brian and stormed out of the practice room.

"He'll be back," I assured the guys, who all still looked upset by Alex's outburst. I don't really know why since they happen every time we practice. He just doesn't take correction, or any type of direction well. He'd rather screw it up and learn from his mistakes on his own. Sure enough, five minutes later, Alex came back and picked up his music like nothing had happened.

"The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices!" I cringed as Nicky's voice cracked. "Sorry guys. Can we go back?" He almost looked scared, like he was afraid Kevin would give him a beat-down. Good thing Kev's patient.

"Sure, kid. We'll start a couple beats before you come in, all right?"

"Yeah."

Nick stood a little straighter, reevaluating his posture, and put a hand on his stomach to monitor his breathing. I smiled to myself as I watched his face scrunch up with passion.

" . . .And yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!" Nick's hand went to his mouth to cover it, like he couldn't believe the same type of sound came out again. Sometimes, we forget how young he is. We'd all gone through the voice-changing stuff.

"Guys, I'm sorry. I don't know what's up with me today." Nick looked down and out, sort of like his recurring mistake is the worst thing that could happen in rehearsals.

I reached up to put an arm around him. "Hey, it's cool. We all went through that before. Nothin' you can do about it. Okay?" Nick didn't look convinced.

We'd been counting on getting through the whole piece today, but Nick's solo was taking really long to get through. His voice and him just weren't on the same page, I guess. Brian suggested he go get some water and he went. He looked totally bummed.

"Y-y-y'all, it's taking way too long to get through this!" Alex whined. "He can't keep stopping every time he messes up. Even if his voice cracks or something-I mean, it happens to everybody. You don't see any of the big names always going back to do the same thing over and over!"

I was pretty surprised when Brian spoke up. "Y' know, though, Alex? That's why we're in here now. This is the place where Nick and the rest of us CAN make mistakes and it's all right, 'cause we can fix 'em. Mr. J's always tellin' us that we should be makin' some errors in rehearsal, just so long as we're tryin'. You gotta keep in mind, too, that he's a lot younger than the rest of us-even you, and he's probably gonna make more mistakes, just based upon that. We gotta be patient though, all right?"

"I guess," Alex sulked. Brian grinned at him and slapped him on the back as

Nick came back in. He looked calmer now, that was good.

I was pretty shocked that Alex seemed to suddenly have a longer fuse now than when we started out. And he actually listened to someone! That was amazing to me! But I guess Brian was gentle about it with him, and didn't make him feel too defensive. I think that's why Alex doesn't take to well with Kevin. For some reason, it's like, Alex's afraid that Kevin's being disapproving when all he's trying to do is help out our sound and our group dynamics. I was just happy that the rest of practice went smoother than in the beginning. Thank you, Brian!