Chapter 13:

We’ve Been Through Days of Thunder

I sighed again as I watched Nick and Brian act like idiots. They, for some reason, had decided that it would be a great idea to have WWF Smackdown in our hotel room.

We had performed twice earlier that day, once at a Children’s Hospital and once at a retirement home. The experience was really humbling. I noticed it really took a toll on Alex who wasn’t able to take in as much air as he needed to make a good sound. I saw Kevin nudge him a few times and I knew he was telling Alex about breath-support techniques. Alex kind of just ducked his head down. I watched him struggle through the rest of the performance.

To me, singing for kids in a hospital is a really nice thing to do, but it really hurt my heart to see all of them and everything their families were facing. But Alex and Brian were great with the kids, and after we were done singing, both of them went over and started talking to them and playing with them—they both knew what it was like to be on the other side—scared and lonely, not sure what would happen. So they decided to make the kids’ days brighter. Brian shot hoops with some kids, and Alex found a puppet, and was making another kid laugh with it.

Kevin stood off to one side, watching. His face was totally expressionless. I figured that deep down this experience wasn’t one that Kev thought he needed right now—especially after spending all that time in the waiting room to hear about Alex. I tried to talk to him, but he wasn’t in the mood.

Nicky was great with the real young kids, talking to them about all the cool toys they had and asking them if they liked the songs. But afterward, I could see the stress from the visit come out as he wiped tears from his eyes. He tried not to show it, but I knew he hurt for them. Nick had younger sisters and a brother he was used to taking care of, and I could only imagine what he was thinking after spending time with these little ones.

Now, though, you wouldn’t know a thing had happened. He and Brian were all over each other being totally hyper. I almost began to regret sharing a room with Nicky. There’s just something about a 14-year-old with excessive energy that makes me a little dizzy.

"Power bomb!" Nick screamed, joyfully catapulting himself on Brian's already sprawled body. "Hey, Bri. I thought you said you were The Rok or some shit?" Nick teased.

"Nick!" Kevin warned. "Watch it! I'm not listening to you cuss every waking hour for five days!"

But Nick was unable to respond. Brian (The Rok) now had him pinned on one of the beds and was bouncing up and down on him with a huge smirk on his face.

"I'm the Rok! You're the weed!" Brian declared.

"Need . . .air . . ." Nick gasped. He reached out, attempting to "tag" Alex, who stood off to the side, watching the wrestling match. I grabbed his arm and held him back.

"D, come on!" Alex whined. "Nick needs me to go in and take down The Rok! Hang on, buddy, I'll save you!" Overdramatically, Alex rushed to the aid of his squashed teammate in a blaze of glory, shoving Brian completely off the bed.

Kevin took a step toward his cousin. He was as ready to end the match as I was. Kev was always nervous when Brian got to roughhousing with Nick, and I knew for a fact that Alex was supposed to be taking it easy.

"All right, guys! Cool it!" I attempted to step in the midst of the guys-big mistake. Alex saw me, and immediately threw himself into me, knocking me to the ground. I tried to roll out of range of the power bombs and half-nelsons but it took some strategic planning.

I had only been free a few seconds when I saw Alex jump on Nick's back and cover his eyes. Nick brought one arm back trying to get out of the hold, and I cringed as Nick's elbow met Alex's stomach.

"Shit," Alex whimpered. He was off Nick in a second, holding his middle as a stream of cursing made its way out of his mouth.

"Damn it, Nick!" I yelled. "Why don't you watch what the hell you're doing?" I quickly made my way to Alex who was now doubled over in pain.

"Don't . . .yell at him," Alex gasped. "I'm all good . . .Just hurts."

"No shit it hurts!" Kevin exploded. "We told y'all to quit messin' around! Brian, you got more sense than that!" Brian's face reddened at the insult. I could see by his face that he was hurt by the comment, especially because he hadn't played a direct part in Alex's getting hurt.

Nick came over to where Alex sat. "Hey, Jay? I'm sorry, dude, I didn't know it was you. You gonna be all right?"

"Sure kid . . .No problem . . ." Alex's eyes were bright and he still cradled his stomach.

All of us were quiet now. Brian and I helped Alex over to a bed so he could lie down. And I went to find Mr. J. and Alex's pain meds.

It wasn't long before Alex got bored resting and got to poking Nick who was next to him on the bed.

"Nick? Come on, dude! This bites! Don't you wanna take me on?"

I could tell that Alex physically didn't feel much better, but he felt bad about me yelling at Nick, and he got bored real easily anyway. However, a lot of times, his common-sense level was a bit low.

"Jay," I warned. "No."

"D! I ain't a kid! I can bug Nicky if I want. He don't care, right Nicky?" Alex continued poking the blond.

"Uh, Alex, maybe you better not," Nick hedged as I glared at him sternly.

'Hey, I got an idea," Alex announced, already over his pouting. "McDonald's! That would make me feel A LOT better!"

"Yeah!" Brian agreed. "Hey Kev, can we go to McDonald's?"

"Y'all don't seriously wanna go to a greasy fast-food joint, do ya?" Kevin asked in dismay. But all three younger guys were in agreement and I didn't really care. To me, food is food.

So all five of us walked across the street. Of course, none of the doofos could keep their hands off each other-Alex included. I thought Kev would start knocking their heads together.

The behavior didn't get any better once we found a table and sat down. Brian and Nick were flinging wet pieces of straw-wrapper across at us, and laughing like hyenas. Nick was targeting Alex and thought it was hysterical when he didn't retaliate. By now, I knew something wasn't right with Alex and I was really pissed at Nick for the crap he kept pulling.

"Aw, come on Alex! I thought you wanted to take me on? Or was that The Rok?"

When it was obvious that Alex wasn't up for spit-wads, Brian tried fries. He aimed them at Alex like little missiles and made sound effects to go along.

"Don't mess with The Rok," Brian teased, "There! You don't like it now, do ya?"

Alex's face drained of color. He nearly shoved me out of the booth to get out and hurried to the back of the restaurant and into the bathroom. I stared, stunned at Brian. I could not believe what he had said. Mike's voice replaced Brian's in my head and in my mind, I saw Alex lying helpless in a classroom with blood starting to pool underneath him while Mike demanded to know if Alex liked it that all the kids were staring at him.

"Oh my God," Brian choked. His face flushed as realization hit him, too.

Nick and Kevin were confused. Neither of them had been present for the taunting and the threats that had been made against Alex. They didn't know how Brian's comment went so deep.

Alex came out shortly afterward looking pale and sort of greenish. The five of us walked back to the hotel, and all of us were somber. As we walked, Kevin quietly demanded to know what had gone on back there. I had to tell him the truth.

Once we were in the room, though, I was sorry for mentioning anything. The minute we were out of the hall, Kevin lit into his cousin. "What the hell were you thinking, Brian, and you better have a damn good answer!" He didn't give any time for a response. "My God, you of all people should know better than to say shit like that! Or did ya forget how it felt when the family mentioned anything about the hospital to ya? Answer me, damn it! Did. You. Forget?"

Brian jumped to his feet and I just about quit breathing when his fist connected with Kevin's jaw. Even though it shocked Kevin he was quick to react and soon the two were having it out right there. It wasn't more than a few seconds when I realized that they weren't planning on stopping. It was getting loud, and I eyed Nick, before making a grab for Brian. Nick did the same with Kev and we eventually had them apart.

Both were more than pissed that Nick and I had interrupted the fistfight. I actually had to hold onto Brian longer, 'cause I guess he was still planning on beating down Kevin.

"Howie, get your hands off me!" Brian demanded, still struggling.

"Brian, stop. This is enough," I was calm, maybe too calm to get through Brian's thick head. "There's no way I'm lettin' go of you until you get your head on straight! Now knock it off!" I slowly released him, and watched him carefully. "Now. Take a walk and don't come back until you get yourself together, understand?" Brian nodded shortly, his face was still a mask of anger.

I wasn't too big on getting on Kevin's bad side by ordering him around, but I nodded toward him, and he left as well, a little bit after Brian did. It was only then that I noticed Alex.

He was crouched in a corner, pressing his back into it as hard as he could. His arms were wrapped protectively around his stomach. Alex was sobbing and white as a sheet. I hadn't seen him that panicked ever since the day everything came about. Instead of going to him like I wanted to, I stood still. I just couldn't take it all over again. It was too much.

Nick must've known this. I watched, speechless, as he walked around the bed and knelt in front of Alex. "Hey." The calmness in Nick's voice was amazing. Just the same, Alex cowered from the sound, trying to make himself smaller. "It's all right. Hey. It's done now-no one's gonna hurt you. Bri and Kev were just upset at each other."

I sat numbly on the edge of the bed and watched as Alex's body shook, and tears fell from his eyes. Poor kid was having so much trouble dealing with all this, and here I was sitting around on my ass waiting for Nicky to pick up the slack. Even though I knew better, I couldn't force myself to do it all again-no matter how bad I wanted to be able to.

"You're all right," Nick encouraged. "Me and Howie are right here and you're fine. I'm sorry they scared you. That wasn't cool. You wanna take me on?" he questioned. Nick's tone of voice was soft, as if the thing in question was a hug and not a wrestling match. "You'll kick my ass, I promise."

"No. I was just playin'," Alex answered softly. "Sorry I'm so messed up."

"It's no big deal," Nick said, smiling a little. "All of us get messed up sometimes . . .I don't care about that, I just care about that you're all right in the end. And you're strong, so you will be."

I couldn't say the same for myself.