“I
can’t believe you AJ? How could you ask Nick a question like that?
I don’t care how drunk he was he may remember that! What if you
hurt his feelings?” AJ and Howie put Nick to bed only a few minutes
earlier.
“His
feelings Howie, who cares about his feelings if he’s hurting himself?” AJ asked
more subdued than Howie. He sat on his bed, unlacing his shoes.
“AJ,
Nick does not do drugs,” Howie said flatly, “He was drunk. What put it
through your mind that he’s… he’s on illegal substances?”
AJ
stared at Howie for a few minutes, “Did you see his eyes Howie?”
“Huh?”
Howie stopped to stare at AJ.
“That
was high Howie, not drunk,” AJ said flatly, as Howie tried to turn away, “Did
you listen to his monologue in the backseat? Were his words slurred? They
weren’t, they were clear as day, but fast as hell. I would know about this
stuff… and besides, Howie this isn’t the first time.”
“Isn’t
the first time for what AJ?” Howie asked coolly, glaring at AJ.
“For
me to see Nick at a club totally thrashed!” AJ yelled, now he was getting upset
with Howie’s accusatory manner, “It was a few months ago on tour. My dad
had somehow gotten my cell phone number, and I just needed out. I
went to this club, in New York, and Nick was there. He was there Howie…”
AJ yelled at Howie who was shaking his head looking adamant. “He
was hanging around some Goth girls, and they went into the back room.
I could tell he was already…”
“AJ
if you saw all this why didn’t you do anything, say anything to us?” Howie was
rubbing his temples. He sat down on AJ’s bed. AJ stood up, it was
his turn to pace, “Would you have believed me? Would any of you guys have
believed me? Probably not, because everyone was so mixed up in their own
shit they forgot about everyone else… but Nicky. Nicky was perfect in
your eyes. Look at him he’s so strong, and mature. But you know
what I think, Nick wasn’t strong or mature, you know how he handled all that
crap we were laying down in front of him, he didn’t! I bet he was high, I
bet he is high!”
“SHUT
UP!” Howie yelled plugging his ears on AJ’s charade, “You were jealous AJ, all
of us were jealous of how well the kid could hold it together.”
AJ
was shaking his head, “I knew it, see, you see this is why I never told you
what I thought… And why didn’t I stop him, well Howie. I really
didn’t feel like cleaning up His Royal Blondness’s shit that day. I
had enough of my own to deal with.”
Howie
stared at AJ in disbelief, “Oh my God, were we actually that apathetic toward
one another that we wouldn’t help if we thought there may be a problem?”
AJ
was silent as well, “Howie, if I could go back, I would drag his butt out of
there, but I can’t. I can however do it now. Something ain’t right
with him Howie. I’m serious. You don’t have to tell anyone else
what I think, just yet, but watch him. Watch what he does, how he acts,
for a day. You’ll see what I’m talking about Howie. I’ve seen it
all before. I’ve had friends who…”
“Enough!”
Howie cut AJ off, “That’s all AJ, I’ve heard enough. I’m going to bed, and
don’t you dare go tell any of the others any of that crazy story you just made
up!”
“You’re
so stupid D! We’ve been blind to each other for almost a year, and now
it’s time to see. Maybe it’s time we start realizing that maybe Little
Nicky hasn’t been so perfect…”
Howie
closed the door to AJ’s room before he could hear the end of the sentence.
He had wanted to punch AJ. How could he say things like that about Nick?
He had been the glue who held the group together! Howie went into
his room and sat in the dark, fully dressed, on his bed. Watch what he
does, how he acts… Howie shuddered thinking about it. Not the fact
that AJ was considering the fact that Nick was on drugs… but the fact that Howie
was considering believing him.