Chapter 7:

Still There Were Tears in Your Eyes

Once I’d called the ambulance, I did the first thing that came in my head. I ran up to the choir room to get Brian. Howie was right with me but stayed so quiet that I barely remembered he was with. Me and Kev had been almost there when everything started, and in a way I was shocked that Bri hadn’t walked by us on his way there. I was glad he hadn’t though.

I was so happy class hadn’t started. Mr. J was still in his office. I ran in quick and glanced around for Brian. I saw him off to one side—Nick was telling him some story with a lot of hand gestures. Gravely, I made my way over.

“Yo, Rok,” I said, swallowing against the lump that rose in my throat. Brian turned. One look at me and his face lost all its color.

He stepped toward me on instinct, ignoring Nick, whose story had been left hanging in mid-sentence. “Alex?” he questioned. “What’s up?”

I shook my head, trying to let Brian know that we needed to leave. “Not here,” was all I could say.

He followed me out in the hallway. Once the door clicked shut behind us I turned around, and was facing both Brian and Nick.

“Nick, go back.” I said it forcefully. I wasn’t in the mood for him hanging around; it’d be hard enough telling this to Brian.

He just stared at me with those damn blue eyes, looking worried. “I wanna know, Alex,” he said, not moving.

“Damn it, Nick! Get the hell out of here!” I could feel myself start to break, and I knew that I had to tell Brian what happened, before I lost control. But Nicky was still standing there.

The little sponge.

I looked at Brian, kind of pleading with my eyes—trying to let him know that this was important—but Brian was getting concerned now. “Alex, just tell me. I don’t care if Nicky hears.” His voice had gotten hoarse and I wondered when that happened.

“Rok, something happened to Kev.” I explained, trying not to let Brian’s expression throw me. His mouth had dropped open, and he’d tensed up right away. I knew he’d expected me to tell him something was up with me. The Kev thing must’ve come out of nowhere for him.

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Brian asked, his eyes narrowing. The accent was thicker now; he was getting pissed. “Alex, if this is some kinda joke, I swear—“

“Brian. Sorry. I wish it was.”

“What happened to him?” Funny, Nick seemed more up on things than Brian, and Kevin was his cousin.

“Um. I’m not sure. We were comin’ here and he just started acting all messed up... I don’t know what happened, Nicky. He was getting sick and started passing out. But I called my mom, and she said to call an ambulance. They’re taking him to the hospital.”

All the sudden, I felt REAL guilty about having the kid around when I said all this. ‘Cause he looked like he was gonna bawl once Brian started. I wasn’t much help there, honestly. I was shaking and felt sick. Nick put an arm around Brian’s back, and I had to hand it to him for being so cool about it.

“My mom, ah, said she’d come pick you up and drive you over there,” I said, trying to catch Brian’s eye.

It was pointless. He was so worked up that all he could do was stand there and lean on Nicky and cry.

“Hey, Brian?” Nick coaxed. “You should go with Denise, huh? Then you can let us know what’s going on. And it might not be that bad. Alex said he was just throwing up.” And barely conscious. “It could just be the flu or something. Right, Alex?”

Nick’s eyes looked so full of hope that I hated to crush it, but I knew it wasn’t the flu. Kev had been sicker than the flu. You didn’t call the ambulance for that. You only called the ambulance for real serious shit. Like when I was shot... You only called an ambulance if somebody was gonna die.

Me and Nick got Brian with my mom and they drove to the hospital. I sure as hell wasn’t gonna go wait there. Howie and Nick didn’t want to either so Howie drove both of us to my place, so that Ma could call there once they heard something.

But it took a long time for the phone to start up ringing. When it did, Nicky was closest to it so he picked it up and handed it to me. “Mom. What’s up? They say anything yet?” I was nervous as shit, and not a very patient person. The hour we’d been at my house seemed to drag forever.

“Oh, baby.” Mom’s voice was tight with tears. “Kevin’s in emergency surgery right now.

Appendix? My mind wondered briefly.

“He got a hemorrhage in his brain.”

Hemorrhage. I turned the word over in my head a minute before I made any connection. Hemorrhage meant blood. My stomach dropped. Kevin’s brain was bleeding.

“Oh my God.” I felt for the couch that was right behind me and sat heavily on it not able to fully get what Mom was telling me.

“How did it get there?” My voice sounded like it belonged to somebody else. I asked, thinking that only old people had shit happen to their brain. I noticed Howie and Nick staring at me with serious faces and turned away from them, so I could hear better.

Mom sighed, sounding really broken up, just with that small thing. “I was waiting with Ann—I called her as soon as I got Brian in the car—and then the doctors told her. I guess it’s something called an AVM. An arteriovenous malformation. It’s a congenital problem, so he was born with it, and basically what it sounds like is a bunch of tangled up blood vessels in his brain that are formed wrong. Eventually, blood up there had nowhere else to go so the vessels burst.” She sighed again, and I was beginning to get jittery. “I’m going to stay with Ann and Brian and the Littrells until they hear anything.”

Cold fear settled in my stomach and I continued to grip the phone. “Is he gonna be all right?” I asked, hating how choked up I sounded.

Her answer made my insides curl violently.

“Pray.”