Chapter 7

The news conference went smoothly, all things considered. Although they had to move the time up by two hours due to a local station breaking the news early, Brian and Nick handled the barrage of questions fairly well. Whether due to the stress on their faces or the strain in their voices, something kept the media in check. While eager for information, the reporters’ questions remained civil and on track, a true rarity. Of course, heavy pressure from the hospital and the Boys’ management team to keep things low-key hadn’t hurt.

Nick had seemed reluctant to speak until Brian, choked up in a moment of emotion, had been unable to respond to a particular question. The youngest had swallowed his fear and answered as best he could; the grateful look from his brother had given him confidence and before long Nick found himself fielding a fair share of the inquiries. His answers weren’t smooth or rehearsed, but he did his best, and before too long the ordeal was over, for the time being.

As the reporters filed out of the small room, Brian leaned close to Nick and said, “I’m going to call Leigh, let her know what’s going on.”

“I’ll call AJ,” came the reply.

“We can do it from the lounge,” Brian said. “Then we can visit Kev for a bit.”

Nick looked uncertain but didn’t protest. With a non-committal shrug, he followed Brian out the door and down the hall.

While Brian spoke with his wife, Nick learned that all was well at Howie’s house. AJ told him that he’d practically had to carry their brother inside; he’d fallen fast asleep in the car before five minutes had passed. Aside from having to listen to a couple of un-funny Spanish jokes, an argument about which pajamas were the right ones to wear, and a strange song melody Howie seemed to make up on the spot, AJ hadn’t had any trouble at all. Actually, he had found the whole thing amusing; it was not often that he got to see Howie in a state that resembled a happy drunkenness.

While he didn’t have any changes to report on Kevin’s condition, Nick did tell him how the news conference had gone. AJ seemed impressed, and admitted he was relieved he didn’t have to participate in all the hoopla.

Nick hung up the phone and looked at Brian, still on his call to Leigh. The obvious tension on his face was hard to see; while Brian was trying to keep his voice as calm as possible on the phone, his knuckles were clenched white around the receiver. In that moment, Nick understood that while Kevin was his brother through the group, Brian was Kevin’s family… and their bond had existed all their lives, not just a few short years. He also realized that as together as Brian had seemed so far, it was probably harder on him than on anyone else.

Once again, Nick felt a wash of shame when he considered how selfish his recent thinking had been… and how much of a coward he’d become. If Brian could push past the terrible pain and visit Kevin, he should be able to confront reality as well. He’d made a decision to support Kevin and the others last night, yet here it was, late the next day, and he hadn’t even seen the man.

Coward…

He bit his lip as he realized how much he deserved the title. He vividly remembered an incident that had taken place a week ago, when Kevin had called him an immature brat. He’d laughed at the remark, knowing that the stunt he’d pulled had been a bit childish, but hadn’t given it a second thought. He’d told himself that Kevin’s anger was simply the result of being too uptight and not being able to take a joke.

He knew now that Kevin had hit the mark. He was an immature brat, and the accident had only proven it. Nick felt a wave of pain as he realized just how much the truth could hurt.

But he’d had enough of running, of avoiding that same truth. He knew what he had to do.

Without a word, he stood and swallowed against his fear. Giving Brian a final glance, he turned and walked toward the door.

“Nick?” came the question just as he reached for the knob. “Where are you going?”

He didn’t turn. “Where I should have gone last night,” he said. “Where I belong.”

With that, he left and headed down the hallway to where the elevators waited.

*******

He felt a cold sweep of panic hit him as he approached Kevin’s room, but he pushed past it, determined to do the right thing. He held his breath as he crossed the threshold, letting it out in surprise as he nearly ran into a figure standing just inside.

The woman looked as startled as Nick did.

“Oh, I’m… I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. “I didn’t know-”

“No, it’s okay,” she said. “No harm done.”

“I can come back,” he said as he retreated a step.

“Really, it’s okay,” she said in a calming voice. “I gather you are one of Mr. Richardson’s friends?”

“His brother,” Nick said automatically.

She held out her hand. “I’m Dr. Meyers, the attending physician.”

He shook it and said, “My name is Nick.” He glanced nervously behind her. “How is… has he…”

She seemed to understand his distress. “He hasn’t woken yet,” she said calmly. “But that’s understandable, considering his concussion and other injuries. We’re keeping him closely monitored.” She put a hand on his arm and said, “Come on, it’s okay to see him.”

He forced his feet to move beyond the partition. There were tubes and machines and wires and monitors surrounding the pale figure in the bed; for a second, he felt overwhelmed by panic and would have bolted if not for the firm but gentle grip on his arm.

“Kevin,” he said anxiously. His wide blue eyes locked on his brother’s bruised face.

“Easy,” the woman said kindly. “I take it you haven’t visited him before now?”

He shook his head, unable to look away.

“Okay, let me explain what some of these things are. This machine, the one beeping, is the heart monitor. You can see that line, it indicates the rhythm and frequency of his heartbeat,” she said as she gestured. “This one, below it, tells us how much oxygen he’s getting in his blood. See, it’s attached to his finger by that little clip…”

Slowly, she continued on with each machine and tube and monitor. By the time she was done, Nick felt a lot more in control of his emotions. He finally managed to look into her expectant gray eyes.

“So, according to all this stuff,” he said as he tried to sort it out, “Kevin’s not doing too bad, right?”

“Nick,” she said carefully, “Kevin’s got a long way to go. Right now, he’s stable, and that’s about all we can declare. We’ve taken care of all the immediate issues; his leg and broken ribs have been tended to, and the CAT scans show about what we expected. I did speak with him earlier, and he was a bit confused but seemed to have normal comprehension. That’s a good sign.”

“But…” Nick prompted, hearing it in her voice.

“But,” she sighed, “he’s not out of the woods by any means. His temperature is higher than I’d like it to be, for one. That’s the kind of thing we have to really watch.”

“Brian said you told him a higher temperature is normal,” he frowned.

“A slight elevation, yes. But his has been steadily climbing, so that tells us there’s a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” he said, his voice hitching up a degree.

“It’s too early to tell,” she replied. “I’ve called in some specialists, we’re going over the preliminary bloodwork and tests and trying to pinpoint what’s causing it. Speaking of which, I need to get into consultation right now. You can visit as long as you like, just stay out of the way of the nurses or technicians that are going to be in and out of here.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said, feeling the tension return.

“Don’t worry,” she said with a final pat on his shoulder, “we’re going to do everything in our power to figure this out.”

He nodded and stood there for a moment after she had left. Slowly, he moved to the chair near the bed and sat down. He studied Kevin’s marred face, wondering if he was dreaming or feeling pain or aware of anything at all. He hoped it was the latter; dreams could be confusing, especially bad ones, and pain… no one should be in pain. Hoping that Kevin was unaware seemed for the best.

Leaning forward, he reached a hand up towards the large bandage on Kevin’s forehead, delicately pushing back a random strand of hair that had fallen out of place. He was reluctant to touch skin; the bruising looked painful and angry, and the last thing Nick wanted to do was cause more hurt, just in case Kevin wasn’t all that unaware.

The blond wanted to do something, anything, that would make a difference… but he couldn’t think of what that might be. He’d heard that sometimes unconscious people could hear and sense things around them, but he hadn’t a clue what to say. He was sure that Brian would have words of faith; Howie’s would be positive and uplifting, full of optimism. AJ’s would probably be laced with encouragement and humor, but his…

What could he say, when he was really just scared and worried? When he couldn’t find faith or optimism or encouragement, because he was terrified of what might happen?

In the end, he opted for truth. Hoping that Kevin would somehow understand him, he leaned close.

“Kev,” he whispered, “I don’t know how to handle this without you. I don’t have any answers. Please come back, I’m not done needing you here. None of us are.”

He was standing by the bed holding Kevin’s hand ten minutes later when Brian came into the room.

“Nick,” he said with relief. “Thank God.” Quickly he crossed the room and stood beside his best friend. “You okay?” he asked with a careful touch.

Tears that had been held back for so long were released with a sob as Nick’s tenuous grasp on control vanished. Brian simply hugged him, glad to feel the embrace returned in earnest. He didn’t try to stop his own tears as the silently trailed down his face a moment later. He, too, had been holding back far too much.

Together, they let go a large measure of their fear and pain and grief and worry… and found, astonishingly, that it had been replaced not with weakness, but with strength.

*******