Chapter 4

Meggie sat, rubbing Nick’s back, as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. As he finished, she wiped his sweaty face off with a cool washcloth. Nick lay back down on the cold tile floor and sighed.

Meggie jumped at the sound of the phone ringing.

“I’ll be right back, Nicky,” she said as she jumped up.

“Hello?”

“Hey…just calling to check on you and Nick,” Brian said into the phone.

“He’s not doing so well… the doctor said the chemo would be rough… but jeez. For the past hour, he’s been burning up and puking his guts up.”

“Remember, just keep him comfortable.”

“He’s as comfortable as he can get. Every time he starts to leave the bathroom, he has to throw up again. So he’s lying on the bathroom floor. It’s cold, so it probably feels good to his touch.”

“I’ll let you get back to him… call me if you need anything. Oh yeah, B.J. called from her shoot and said she’ll be back in a few hours,”

“Ok. Thank you, Bri.”

“Anytime. Take care,”

They hung up and she returned to the bathroom. Nick lay shivering now, on the floor.

“Why don’t we try to get you back in your bed? Then we’ll put a basin next to it, so you don’t have to keep coming back in here.”

“Ok,” He whispered weakly.

She slid her arm underneath his arms and helped him up. Slowly, they walked into his room and she helped him lie down in the bed.

He sighed as his head hit the pillow.

“Better?”

“Much… thank you,” He whispered.

She quickly ran downstairs and returned with a bowl and set it on the nightstand.

Trying to make him as comfortable as possible, she closed the blinds so the bright sun wasn’t shining in. She wiped his face off gently with a cool washcloth, hoping to bring down his temperature.

He slowly drifted off into a feverish sleep.

As Meggie brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead, a clump of hair fell of in her hand. Tears burned her eyes as the hair fell from her hand onto the floor. Nick looked totally different now, than he had three weeks ago, before his chemo had began.

He was losing weight throughout his body, except for his face, which gained from the fluids. He cheeks had begun flushed constantly and he had dark circles around his eyes. Every day after his chemo, he threw up for hours and ran a fever. He was always weak and had to stay in bed for most of the week.

As she ran her fingers through his hair, more began to fall into her hand.

“D*mnit,” She cursed, crying. “Not his hair”

She looked up from her fistful of hair to see A.J. standing in the doorway, tears sliding down his cheeks.

He walked over to her and pulled her into a tight, comforting hug.

“Shh… he’s going to fight this. Hair will grow back. Once this is over with, he’ll have a full head of blonde hair.”

“But look at him. He always looks like he’s in pain… and he’s always sick. It’s not fair. What did he do to deserve this?”

“Absolutely nothing. But God has a plan. And he won’t let Nick die.”

She sobbed into his shoulder, letting out all of her emotions at once.

After a few dreary moments, she regained composure.

“Thank you, AJ.” She sniffed, wiping her face off.

Nick stirred in his sleep, the suddenly woke up.

“Bowl,” He moaned.

Meggie jumped up and slid the bowl under his chin just in time.

Once he finished, she wiped his face off.

Something on the edge of his pillow caught his eye as he lay back down.

He picked up a thick lock of hair.

“This bites,” He mumbled.

“Hair grows back… and you have plenty of baseball hats to cover it up,” AJ said, trying to enlighten the situation.

Nick gave a small smile as his eyelids became droopy.

“Just rest, Nick. We’ll be here when you wake up,” AJ said, assuring him.

When Nick awoke a few hours later, Meggie lay asleep in the chair next to his bed. He peeked over the edge of the bed to see B.J. sound asleep on the floor.

He looked at the door just in time to see Brian walk in.

“Hey,” He said quietly, entering the room.

“Hi,”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than earlier…”

“Hungry?”

“A little bit,”

“How about we go downstairs and let these two sleep?” Brian said, a smile on his face.

“Ok,”

Nick weakly sat up and Brian helped him out of bed and down the stairs to the living room. Once he had Nick sitting comfortably on the couch, he went into the kitchen to find something that would agree with Nick’s stomach.

“Soup or toast?” Brian asked from the kitchen.

“Um…soup?”

“Ok,”

Within a few minutes, Brian had whipped up a ‘mean’ bowl of chicken and noodle soup.

“Lunch…err… dinner… is served,” Brian laughed, handing Nick the bowl of soup.

“Thanks,” Nick said, trying to smile.

Brian turned the TV on and they watched in silence. Nick was able to eat one fourth of the soup before he was full.

Nick set the bowl down on the table beside him and leaned back against the soft cushions of the couch. Soon, he was sound asleep.

Brian heard his soft snores and looked over, to find him asleep. He covered him with a blanket and then tended to the dishes. A noise from upstairs caused Brian to jump as he dried a dish. He ran upstairs to see B.J. and Meggie looking around the room frantically.

“Where’s Nick?!” B.J. asked, almost yelling.

“Relax you guys! He’s downstairs. He was hungry so he ate some soup then fell asleep.”

Meggie collapsed into a chair with relief.

The phone rang, startling all three of them.

“We’re paranoid,” He laughed as he went to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey… Bri?” It was Kevin.

“Yeah, hey Kev… What’s up?”

“Not much… I called for a few reasons. First off, how’s Nick doin’?”

“Much better than this morning. He actually got some food down today and now he’s asleep,”

“That’s good. The other reason I called…management decided it was time for a press conference. There are so many rumors flying around about Nick and the band… and we need to set them straight.”

“Yeah,”

“When would be a good time?”

“Probably next Monday or Tuesday… Nick has chemotherapy on Wednesday, so that’s out of the question. And he’ll probably want to go.”

“Ok, I’ll call them back, then talk to you later. Alright?”

“Yep. Bye.”

Brian laid the phone back onto the cradle and looked up to four curious eyes.

“It was Kevin. Management wants a press conference,”

5 Days Later; Monday

“Ready to go?” Brian asked an extremely weak Nick.

“Yeah…bye Meggie,” Nick replied, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

They had decided that Meggie and B.J. should stay home because of the mass of people turning up.

Brian helped Nick stand up and walk out to his car.

Once Nick was buckled up, Brian went around to the other side and got in, inserting the key into the ignition.

As the backed out of the driveway, Nick turned the radio on, deadening the silence that had filled the car.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Brian asked as they pulled into the Marriott Hotel parking lot.

“Yes. You always said we have to be honest and truthful to our fans. Well here I am, being honest and truthful,” Nick said, his lips curling into a smile.

Brian only shook his head as he got out. He went to the other side and helped Nick out. As they neared the door, A.J. ran up behind them.

“Hey guys,” A.J. chirped happily.

“Hey A.J.”

As they walked inside, Nick pulled his baseball hat down tightly.

“Hey guys… wardrobe wants you,” Howie said as they walked down the corridor.

After what seemed like hours, they found the wardrobe room.

“Hey… just in time. Your outfits are over there,” Julie, their stylist said.

“I’m comfortable in what I’m in,” Nick said, sitting down on a couch.

“But-“ Julie started.

“He looks fine in what he’s in,” Brian interrupted, looking at Nick’s outfit. There was nothing wrong with his Nike track pants and long-sleeved Nike tee shirt.

Nick shot him a thankful look as Brian and AJ grabbed their outfits. They headed off towards different dressing rooms and changed.

“You all ready for make-up?” Julie asked as they walked back into the room.

“Yeah,” They replied.

Once she had finished with Brian and AJ, she looked over at Nick.

“Are you coming?”

“No. I don’t want to cover up my illness. I’m here to tell the fans what’s wrong with me, why cover it up?”

Julie sighed and nodded.

“Fine.”

As they left the room, they could hear her mutter a few inappropriate words under her breath.

“Hey guys,” Kevin said, coming up beside them.

“Hey Kev,” AJ replied.

“Don wants us onstage in 10.”

“Alright,”

They walked down the rest of the corridor until they came to a door that said ‘stairs to stage.’

Kevin opened the door and began walking up the flight of stairs.

Nick groaned as he saw them.

“It’s alright. We’ll get you up there,” Brian said, trying to help him out.

Brian took one of Nick’s arms while AJ took the other, and together, they walked slowly up the stairs.

By the time they got to the top, Nick was exhausted.

“Still up for this?” Brian asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Go on, guys,” Don, their manager, said, ushering them onto the stage.

Brian and Nick went out last, expecting the worse.

As they walked onto the stage, gasps were heard from the reporters and fans in the audience. Nick ignored them and continued to his chair. Brian helped him sit down then he sat down beside him.

“Good afternoon…” Kevin started.

The crowd cheered and camera’s flashed.

“The major reason we called for this press conference today is because of the rumors circling out there about Nick being sick. We’re here today, to set everyone straight on Nick’s condition.” Howie said, looking at Nick.

“Hey everyone…” Nick started. “ Well, I guess I’ll start from the beginning. A few weeks before the tour ended, I began to get sick. I thought I just had a cold, but I guess I was wrong. My sister came for a visit and made me go to the doctor. There, I found out I had a tumor in my neck. The doctor ordered an immediate biopsy. That’s where I got this scar,” Nick pointed to his neck.

“After they did the biopsy, they found out I had a type of cancer called Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. It’s cancer of the lymph nodes. Because of that, every week I have to go to an oncology clinic and get chemotherapy, which will hopefully cure me. I know I don’t look the best right now, but as soon as I get well again, I promise, I’ll look normal.”

As soon as he stopped talking, the questions started coming.

“Will you die?”

“How long do you have to live?”

“When will tour start again?’

“Are the Backstreet Boys over?"

“Hold on. One question at a time,” Brian said.

“Yes, there is a chance I could die. All cancer is like that. But, I’m on chemotherapy, which will help, and so far, it looks like I’m kicking butt on this thing.” Nick explained.

“Tour will start once Nick is healthy and ready to go back on tour. We’ll probably start working on our new album soon, so we might tour after that’s released. And no, the Backstreet Boys are not over with.”

After several more questions, the conference ended. Brian helped Nick backstage followed by the rest of the guys.

Nick stifled a yawn as they began down the stairs.

“Don’t fall asleep on me yet,” Brian teased.

“I’ll try not to,”

Once they reached the bottom, Nick dropped into a nearby chair.

“Are you ok, Nick?” Howie asked, hitting the bottom stair.

“Yeah, just tired.”

When Nick was rested up enough, Kevin and Brian helped him out to the car and Brian drove Nick and himself home.

“Hey Bri… when we get back to the house… could you take me out to the beach? I haven’t gotten to see it for awhile.”

“Sure,”

Once they were home, they took a detour through the house and into the backyard.

Brian helped Nick sit down in the soft sand then sat down beside him. They were just in time for the sunset.

“Man…. I’ve missed this,” Nick mumbled.

Brian looked over to see tears sliding down Nick’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve missed so much, Brian. Not only the beach, but the past 4 weeks of my life. Ever since I’ve started this d*mn chemo, I haven’t been able to do anything. I’m to weak to hardly even move by myself. I’ve had to have you three practically care for me twenty-four seven because I’m to sick. I just want it to be all over with and I want my life back.”

Brian pulled Nick into a hug and allowed him to sob onto his shoulder.

“Right now, I feel like I’d rather die then have to go through one more session of chemo.”

“Don’t say that Nick. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I do know you don’t want to die. Once the cancer is out of your system, everything will be back to normal,”

“It will never be ‘normal’ again. After I’m so-called ‘cured’ I have to go back for tests every six months. Can you imagine? A needle the size of California going into my chest every six months?”

Brian kept quiet, not knowing what to say next.

“What if I don’t make it? What if I did this chemotherapy for nothing? That’s three weeks I could’ve been living life, but I spent it upchucking and laying around in bed. And then I die? Sounds like a freaking movie.”

“Nick… I don’t know what to say. I didn’t know you felt this way. But you are going to make it. You’re so stubborn that there is no way you’re going to die from this.”

“Guess I am a little stubborn, eh?”

“A little? You’re underestimating yourself there. If you want to make it through this, you have to think positive and so do the people around you. And look at us. We’re all rooting for you Nick. BJ, Meggie, the guys, me, your family, and to mention the billions of fans all around the world,”