Once upon a time, a little boy decided to walk across the ocean. He did fine until he walked off the continental shelf, and onto the ocean floor. Then his brother got angry with him. Get away from my mid-ocean ridge he cried. I'll tell Mom he declared. The little boy decided to follow his brothers wishes, and stayed away from the long volcanic formation. So he started down along the edge of the continental shelf. As he headed north he passed a series of ocean listening devices. He yelled into the tiny microphones, and thereby brought NORAD down to Defcon 2. This is no fun! he declared, and continued walking north. It was a few hundred miles north that he bumped into the mean old northern ice sheet. Hey, wheres the ocean surface? Why is all solid all of a sudden? he asked. Where is the justice in this? I wanna retrial. He lost the motion, and the judge declared him out of order. He sat down and thought about the error of his ways.

As the small herd of plankton cruised by, the little boy walked by the northern ice sheet, thinking about his motion for an appeal. He decided to file after he finished his little excursion. Things were fine for a little while, until he bumped into the Soviet ballistic missile submarine. He was confused. I thought the Soviet Union was dead. Creative license declared the author. The little boy stared at the underwater vehicle. I wish I had one he declared. The soviet submarine then shot a torpedo at him. I take it back he screamed as he ran as fast as he could. The torpedo ignored his statement and continued in pursuit. At that point the boy grabbed a handy rock and threw it at the torpedo. It stopped. The boy went over and stared at it, as the Soviet captain began cursing. Where is the justice in this? the captain asked. Another outcry from the gallery the judge declared, and I'll clear the courtroom. The captain promptly sat down and quieted down. Ha! said the boy. The prosecuter gave him an icy stare.

It was north of the Kola peninsula that he bumped into his first whale. I'm sorry, he said, I thought you were the mean old northern ice sheet. I'll sue said the whale, keeping the confused story on the whole justice track. The author smiled, and continued typing. How about an out of court settlement? asked the boy. The whales attorney agreed and they settled for 34 cents. The boy continued walking, keeping a lookout for whales, ice sheets, mid-ocean ridges, continental shelves, and angry Soviets (created through creative licence). Hold it screamed the boy, I see one of them! Which one, which one? The third one, no the fourth one. Thats funny, I didn't mean to write that. Oh well, better avant garde then never.

Paragraph four, fade in, pan right.

Zoom in on a small boy, walking several thousand yards under the oceans surface.
Switch back to narritive style.
The small boy walked through a confused literary wasteland, filled with incorrect punctuations, mispellings, and a barely adequate plot. What nightmare is this he asked? Fade into a court scene! Guilty declared the judge, Sentence: Stop this essay now!