Weblogs

There are many thousands of ‘weblogs’ on the internet now. Is there any other historical period during which anything like this occurred? What does it mean? It is strange that they all seem to sound so similar. I guess that everybody's internal monologue would read that way if you were privy to it.

Here is something from 'HellKitty,' praising her friend's weblog . . . 'A friend of mine. She's so nice, but low self esteem. *Hugs*'. YOU are so nice.’ 'Curves' at Diaryland (a friend of Cuntzilla) writes a completely pornographic weblog, so far as I can tell. She's a member of the 'bohemia' diary ring. 1968, I hate you.

But what are weblogs by Japanese women like? It proved difficult to find one. 'A Diary Written by A Japanese Woman' is written by Goldie, who has a six year old daughter. Apparently, many Japanese women use Diaryland. In her 'Profile' she simply writes 'please let me introduce my daily life,' and doesn't fill in any of the spaces for her favourite music, movies, etc. Entry titles include: 'Beautiful Clouds,' 'I went out today. (4 Jan, 2001)'

I went out today for the first time this year.
I didn't go anywhere for three days long.
My daughter is almost fine.

HTML: Design is revolting

My website disappeared and was replaced by the usual squares and numbers. I think I know what that message said. It said 'do not use html. do not use webpage design.' I wonder if by unedited effort I could overcome the entire internet,and crowd out all the design.

Realism

What ashames me at the moment, and has ashamed me for the whole time I engaged in it, it this ridiculous policy I've adopted over the last few years of excluding myself from my writing. I sought to experimentally 'banish' myself - supposedly for the sake of prose style, and perhaps 'for my psychological health', but really it was simply acquiesence, and not acquiesence because I'm shy or fragile and humility is irrelevant, but simply because I was slavish, because I sought to please, because I cared for the reader ... But the style of Hemmingway, I've never even enjoyed myself! It disgusts me that you can achieve this melancholy aesthetic simply through HARD WORK, (the effort in this case being to erase yourself) but as I say, I did it myself; nevertheless, I always found it grotesque that it was all the result of sheer effort; at least I can still feel repulsed by the work ethic, even if I only experience it as embarrassment which I can't name - and as you may have guessed, this revolting acceptance of prevailing 'methods' I applied not just to writing, but to my entire life - I took an interest in self esteem, and would read the correct books before bedtime - but for some reason last night I remembered the self I had abandoned over the last 7 years - but anyhow, the point is that I slavishly abandoned my reflexivity, I may as well have entered into a sanatorium where my day was divided up for me for the sake of my health, but I made all the effort myself to banish any thoughts above the simplest level - of course, I still have to read a 'Hemingway' book at bedtime if I'm going to fall asleep, but to have applied these ideas to my entire life ... I don't know why I used the word 'shame', it seems misleading and irrelevant. To think that I applied the methods of these second rate academics to my entire life, and I could have kept doing so, it is only a coincidence that I allowed myself the laziness and joy of interrogating myself ...

Regarding this 'Hemingway' style, it's mainly a method of disguising stupity. It presents details so that you can make your own generalisations, and not be bothered by the author's. But as for Hemingway himself, what happened to him? He was annihilated - not that he annihilated himself for the sake of humanity, but for the sake of fame. He lacked selfishness, but didn't realise it.

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