..::quotes by famous people::..

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J.D. Salinger

Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.
R. Buckminster Fuller

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Anthony Burgess

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
Oscar Wilde

All general statements are false.
Unknown, The Ultimate Law

There are more of them than us.
Herb Caen

Biography lends to death a new terror.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.
Lester J. Pourciau

"Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana."
Groucho Marx

"We are the people our parents warned us about."
Jimmy Buffett

"Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
Fletcher Knebel

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side, it has a light side, and it holds the Universe together."
Carl Zwanig

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must befound and stopped."
Sam Stevenson

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall down an open manhole cover and die."
Mel Brooks

"Here lies Jan Smith, wife of Thomas Smith, marble Cutter. This monument was erected by her husband as a tribute to her memory and a specimen of his work. Monuments of this same style are two hundred and fifty dollars."
Gravestone Inscription

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. "
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. "
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."
George Burns (1896-1996)

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."
Salvador Dali (1904-1989)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire (1694-1778)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
- Isaac Asimov

"Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me. "
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. "
Walt Disney (1901-1966)

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. "
Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. "
Voltaire (1694-1778)

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. "
Mae West (1892-1980)

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. "
Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

"No Sane man will dance. "
Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

"Hell is a half-filled auditorium. "
Robert Frost (1874-1963)

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. "
Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. "
Al Capone (1899-1947)

"The gods too are fond of a joke. "
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. "
Gloria Leonard

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. "
Robert Orben