I'm tired of this fucking country. Today I get pulled over for not having a seatbelt on. For the third time. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose, I forget. Plus I'm AMERICAN. I like to have the right to choose. Safety standards? Shit, give me a steel cage from 1942 with no straps and no inflatable death bags and an engine pushing at least 300 at the wheels and I'm good to go. Anyway, the story. So I get pulled over. Again. Cops love being assholes and pulling you over for the slightest infractions considering it was the 20th of the month (yeah I know about your 'non-existant' ticket quotas, jerks). So the cop comes up and first asks why I didn't have my seatbelt on. I take off my sunglasses to look him in the eyes, I dunno its just a thing I have I guess. Looking people in the eyes. Anywho, it doesn't matter what you tell him, he's still going to write your ass up. And if you try to say something smartass or act suspicious, he's just going to perform a body cavity search and find something else to write you up for. Then he asks for my license, registration, and insurance, blahblahblah. Thing is, I just changed pants and I'm in a hurry to the next shit-town north of here to do some work since I can't get paid from a normal job. Incidentally, I have no idea where my wallet is. Nevermind the 3 maybe 4 things sitting behind my seat that I'd probably get arrested for if he knew they were there. I tell him I don't know where my wallet is but I can give him any other information that will make this easier -- anything to soften the palate of the one kind of person you can't fuck with and get away with it -- and he wants my social, my full name, and the results of a paternity test (ok that part I made up) and goes back to his car to think about how he can screw me over. Calls me in to the station, pulls up my record (If you like Ron White you know that right about now satellites are linking up... and you know the rest) so he comes back like 10 minutes later after I've had time to sit on my thumbs, smoke a cigarette faster than I've ever attempted to in my life, and then go back to sitting on my thumbs, careful not to throw the cig out the window because I can see his punkass watching what I do with it when I look in the mirror. Speaking of mirror, I have no rearview. Second time I've gotten pulled without one, and I'm certain it's illegal in some way or another. Oh well, by now it looks like I never had one to begin with, and the "it came that way" argument usually holds up... so okay, rabbit trail. He asks me to step out of the truck, and I just know I'm going to jail for my foo' stick with the accessory chain that I'm about to say is a plumbline because I'm too poor to buy one -- anyway he takes me to my back bumper (what, is he seeing if I can walk straight?) and tells me that I have a $25 ticket for not wearing a seatbelt and a $100 ticket for not having my license. Okay, so I didn't get put in cuffs, but could you at least have shoved a broom handle up my ass sideways and called it a day? No, I have to pay $125 for some bullshit. So if you don't get the point yet here's what I'm complaining about: COPS.

I hate them. They serve no purpose. When you need them, they're nowhere to be found and takes them 2 hours to get to the scene of the murder (or whatever happened), and when you're doing something they don't like, they're so far up your ass you can taste donuts. Don't we have rights anymore? The right to choose death? I don't want to wear a strap over me. I'd rather slam my head through the windshield and end it because if I total the truck I'm fucked anyway. Don't I have the right to wear pocketless jeans, leave my license at home and not ever have to show it to anyone? It's all about the fucking revenue, and thats where the buck stops: In the courthouse paying the fatcats that get their kicks from giving the rest of us a shitty day every now and then. THANK YOU so much for taking the evil potheads and people not wearing seatbelts off the streets, while our children are getting raped and our grandparents are getting robbed. Fucking pigs.