Diana: kneeing Hispanics in the balls, wearing the least amount of clothes possible, watching 24 hours of CSI in two days, walking around Brown in only a towel
Joycelyne: hanging out with all her "brown" and "peach" friends, searching for warmer colleges to transfer to during the winter months, rocking the 99 cent hat
Mariel: making fun of everyone, interpretive dance, being 1/2 Hispanic, aspiring to be an undercover prostitute, falling asleep in psych/chem/music/church (bonus points when sitting in the front row)
Iza: cutting boys' hearts up with "scizzaz", being best friends with Octavian (even though he likes Mariel more), [really, we don't know what she does...she spends all her free time with Ricky]
Meredith: avoiding certain people who "staple gun" her face, equating fooseball to sex, proclaiming the joys of a putting arc to people who don't care
Rachel: is a retard
Melissa: pumpkin goop, the teacup rides at Devil's Eve, peer pressuring Mariel into attending class
Liz B.: Brown Bench, discussing international relations with Library Boy, pop tarts
"Cinematography? That sounds like cinnamon-togrophy" -Meagan
"I don't really *know* too many rabbits" -Iza
"Omelets are like wrappy egg thingys" Meagan
"How can you tell when you score when all you concentrate on is the defense?" -Liz B.
"She's looking for her favorite sleeve [to kill them all]" -Diana
"I don't want to die until I hook up with Timmy"- guess who :)
"I really want to eat some poop." -Dave L.
"China is the only country that can produce that many people" -Diana
"If you were a guy, I'd rape you" -Liz B.
"He runs like a female antelope" -Iza
"You dress like a giant condom" -Mariel
"It's really sad when your gym shorts are longer than [those of] the guy you like." - Liz B.
"Sometimes ugly people can be your best friends"- Joycelyne
"What's a nudist colony?"- Meagan
"I don't like to eat food that looks like it's already been digested" -Katya
"Click on it! Are they having sex?" -Meredith
"Why do your socks look like roadkill?" -Diana
"It doesn't matter who you click or who you bang" -Melissa
"I speak very normally speeded" -Rachel
"Thangamadoodle"- Rachel
"Oh no, my penis fell off" Liz H
"I don't really like guys...It would really suck if I were gay" -Phil W.
"One of my friends is friends with my friend" -Meredith
[To Ricky] "YOU killed Mr. Boddy in the kitchen, with the CONDOMS!" -Mariel
"Orange juice wannabe liquid" -Katya
"[Salma Hayek's rack] is like juicy, perfect, succulent turkeys" -Christian
"[The word promiscuous] sounds like a snail crawling across the table" -Diana
[To Katya] "Since when do you not have balls?" -Mariel
"Heaven is a constant orgasm" -Katya
"I love homoeroticism" -Arturo
[on Kamaal's description of a kama sutra picture which suggested that the guy rotate on top of the girl] "Maybe THAT'S why they call it screwing!" -Phil W.
"Way to pick a subtle location...it looks like you staple gunned my face" -an anonymous person with a hickey
"011001011101101010100001...TWO!" -Arturo's most famous impression
"Don't let classes get in the way of your education" -Chaps
[When asked about alcohol policies] "We do not condone dangerous alcohol abuse" -Student representing Inter-Fraternity Council
"What's a canary?" -Katya
"Women don't need to be violent because they already shed blood once a month" -Phil W.
"Why do you eat those [mints] like hamburgers?" Diana
"I'm being a man" Mariel
"Do you think people have drugs on campus?" Stephanie
"wow, if you stare at the numbers for longer than 3 seconds, they turn into animals" Katya
"Superman BITCH!" Arturo
"Some people are fertile all the time...like Mexicans" ?
(To Katya) "You look like a grandma in that [sweater]...don't worry, it works for you" Kamaal
(To Mariel) "If I could fuck one person in Brown it would be you" Katya
"ROLLERCOASTER!" Christian, attempting to play Taboo
"Hey Christian you know you're wearing more clothes than any of the girls around you, stop complaining...you should offer your sweater to one of the girls around you...NO! they don't want your stinky jacket, it's touching you!"-Katya, masterfully setting up her own joke
Diana: I like ho-dancing
Meagan: You need to turn that ho into hoe down!
"Lets dress up like dinosaurs and ride the c-monkey" -Rachel
"My computer is a fucking hobag" -Katya
"Aaron [BRR...haha], it's cold out here!" -Rachel
"Stop pushing your boob into my lung" -Meredith to Mariel
-Katya: If I saw Phillip, my heart will jump across the room!
-Mariel: That can't be good for blood circulation
"Is somebody getting raped in here? [Meredith's squeal] sounded like a stick getting stuck up a pig's butt" -Liz H.
"I thought Trick Daddy was a magician" -Katya
"Turning down fooseball is like a guy turning down sex" -Meredith
Mariel: It says Duke on your boob
Meredith: That's not my boob, it's my boob foothill
"Wouldn't it be fun to tatoo penises on people without them knowing?" -Mariel
"Smells like vacation in here" -Iza
"Lindsay Lohan...is that the one that lives down there? [meaning Lindsay Kennedy]" -Katya
"Ass is the reason for most things in life" Christian
Katya: I feel like I have a chipmunk inside my head...pecking at my forehead.
Christian: Yeah, a mutant chipmunk with a beak.
Mariel: From here you look like a dead body.
Iza: I AM a dead body.
"He's GAY?!? That's such a waste of penis!" Katya
"I thought that gay guys were supposed to room with lesbians!" Meagan
Mariel: She definitely never speaks.
Iza: Maybe she has no tongue...
My personal favorite:
"You always ask me what girls I think are pretty, and I've never been able to tell you. It's always been you, Meagan. I hope we can spend more time together. Happy Birthday.- Kevin" awww....
or maybe my personal favorite is this one:
"AHHHHHH TITTIES!!!!!!!!"