Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: To reach America, the shining city on a hill!
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road...I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens. And if I DID know any chickens I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents,
and balance your check book. And Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: De-regulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model(PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its
skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experience to align the chicken's people, processes, and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total
business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to be more successful on the other side of the road.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
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