Guidelines for
Handling Troublemakers

Any time people have the opportunity to interact with each other anonymously, certain people will take advantage of the situation and cause trouble for others. BDSM chat rooms are no exception. If people come in the room and start causing trouble, they should be handled in the following way, to minimize frustration to Y/you and disruption to the room.

1) Politely correct the person's behaviour - Some people come in the room and mean well, but are not familiar with O/our ways. So give E/everyone the benefit of the doubt and correct their behaviour with politeness and respect. If they apologize and comply, Y/you may have welcomed a new person to the lifestyle and made a new friend. If the inappropriate behaviour continues, then Y/you know the person is truly there to cause trouble.

2) Ignore the troublemaker - Y/you can ignore the person by hitting the config button and selecting their name on the ignore list. But don't just ignore them. Tell them publicly that Y/you are doing so and why. And ask the rest of the room to ignore them as well. It is best for one of the more experienced Dom/mes in the room to take the lead on this, but if one is not available or willing, it is appropriate for A/anyone to take such action.

3) Really ignore the troublemaker - This is the hardest part, becuase O/our naturally tendency is to defend ourselves, but whatever Y/you do, do not continue to respond to the troublemaker. Most of these people want to see Y/your reaction. They enjoy the fight, and as long as Y/you respond, they will continue their attacks and enjoy it. Only if E/everyone truly ignores them will they get bored and go away.

4) Call a Moderator - Moderators are there to help U/us, but remember there are many chat rooms and many troublemakers, so the moderators are often busy. So before Y/you call one, make sure it is something Y/you can't handle yourself. But if the troublemaker persists, for instance, by changing names to avoid the ignore, then feel free to call a moderator. But, if a person is using racial or ethnic slurs, or physically threatening Y/you, call a moderator immediately. Y/you can easily find the moderators online by hitting the MOD link on the bottom line of the chat window. When the moderator comes, step back and allow them to do their job.

If Y/you are not comfortable doing any of these things Y/yourself, feel free to ask for help from one of the regulars you know in the room. If you don't know anyone, look at the list of A/advisors. Any of these people will be glad to help Y/you.

Finally, there are occasionally disturbances in the room, not due to troublemakers, but due to regulars in the room having a negative exchange of words. In any community, fights among the members are bound to occur. But these negative conversations should take place privately, so as not to disturb the room.