Channel Surfing- by
Hilde and The Goku.Note- the bold words are coming from the TV.
The G-boys and the girls sat on the couch watching the tube late one night. Duo flicked through the channels idly. "What do you guys wanna watch?"
"I know! Let’s watch…Barney!" Quatre squealed. A pillow hit him in the head. "Or maybe we could watch Teletubb…mmf! Gerrof! Mmf!" Trowa was holding the pillow over Quatre’s head.
" I doubt he really cares, and I don’t either." Trowa shrugged and released Quatre.
"Man, you guys are insensitive. Get in touch with your feminine side more often, will ya?" Quatre rubbed his head. He slumped back into the couch. Heero shook his head.
"I don’t care" Wufei nodded.
"Me either. Maybe we can find a program on feng shui on HGTV." Everyone looked at him funny. "What? Did I say something wrong?" Duo returned to channel surfing.
KSSHHHT
" One in every five Gundam pilots sweats more than others. Now there’s a breakthrough in perspiration prevention. Now there’s new Bright Guard."
"Hey, isn’t that Wufei?"
"Strong enough for a woman, but who needs ‘em?" Shenlong Altron lifts its arm and sprays a burst of Bright Guard into its armpit. Wufei smiles and gives the camera a thumbs-up.
Relena, Noin, Hilde, and Sally all turned to Wufei and gave him the "omae o korosu" glare. He snatched the pillow from Quatre and held it out like a shield.
KSSHHHT
Duo changed the channel to prevent any further threats on Wufei’s life.
Now yours for $19.95…
KSSHHHT
The Low-flex fitness system is revolutionary…
KSSHHHT
Zechs stands behind a McDonald’s counter with a little visor over his mask. " Would you like that Gundam–sized?" The lady shakes her head.
"No, thank you."
"Yes you do."
"No, I don’t." She starts to look irritated. Flames shoot up behind Zechs.
"FOOLS!"
KSSHHHT
Relena looked embarrassed. She covered her face with her hand. " Oh my…"
KSSHHHT
A bunch of middle aged ladies with too much makeup and a blond guy sits around a table.
"Let’s take another caller." They all smile sickly. "Hello, caller? Are you there?"
"Yes, this is Kate. I’ve been wondering about my husband’s faithfulness lately and I was wondering if you could help me." All of the ladies nod at once, looking sympathetic.
"Quatre, do you want to take this call?"
Duo glared at Quatre. "Quatre, I know you didn’t…"
"Sure!" He closes his eyes. "Oh, Kate, I can feel your soul…"
KSSHHHT
Quatre is bombarded with pillows and popcorn.
And now, for a limited time, you can get this book…
KSSHHHT
Heero is sitting, looking serious. He grinds his teeth. He whispers off camera, "Do I really have to do this?" He looks back at the camera and takes a deep breath before he says, " Do you ever have that not-so-fresh feeling?"
Duo shuddered. "Eww." Heero blushed.
KSSHHHT
Latin beat music video. Trowa is shaking his tush/butt/ass. He starts singing.
"Shake you bon-bon, Shake your bon-bon, Shake your bon-bonnnnnn…"
"Umm…no." Duo said.
"But we haven’t even gotten to the chorus yet!" Trowa argued.
Duo yelled, "No. BON-BON, BEGONE!!!"
KSSHHHT
Duo sits at a table looking hung over and scruffy. He reaches for a cup of coffee. He takes a sip and his braid stands straight up. He grins insanely and starts convulsing.
"MaxwellHutJavajavajavajavajavacoffeecoffeecoffee! Suuuuuuuuugoi!"
Duo is pictured standing in a huge cup, held by Deathscythe Hell. "Good to the last…" The cup tips, and Duo falls out. "…DROOOOOOOP!" *CRASH* "Could somebody get a medic?"
KSSHHHT
Everyone looked at Duo.
"What? I was tight on cash!" He sweatdropped*. Everyone winced when they heard an awful sound coming from the TV, and forgot completely forgot about Duo. He would have been relieved, but he was too busy trying not to scream.
Noin is seen in a smashing blue satin gown, belting out "I will always love you" on a big stage. She’s HORRIBLY off key.
"…Will always, love youoooh I, will always…"
KSSHHHT
Everyone looked thankful except Noin. She looked disappointed. There was just static on the screen.
KSSHHHT
More static.
KSSHHHT
Bob Barker is being mauled by an overweight woman on "The Price Might Be Right".
"Check it out! Bob Barker! He’s the Mackdaddypimpmaster!" Duo exclaimed.
Heero and Wufei grabbed the remote from his hands.
KSSHHHT
The End. Well, Almost. In order to finish this, we need you to submit your commercial or show ideas ‘cuz we’re fresh out for now. And do us a favor: give the Jerry Springer spoofs a break, guys. It’s getting a little stale. Send in your submissions to
GokuXL2000@aol.com or duo_girl@yahoo.com , and we’ll mail you if your idea is accepted. You’ll be in the spotlight at The Garage and be recognized for being funny as hell at both The GW Base and The Garage.(Oh, and a sweatdrop is the universal anime sign of sheepisness.)