(Pan in to mad hillbillies foaming at the mouth.)
Zechs
: "Welcome to the WGW Wednesday…umm…what's that line?"Treize
: "::behind hand:: Nitroooo!"Zechs
: "Oh , yeah! Nitroooooooooooooo!"Treize
: "Well, hillbillies and hicks, we have quite a show for you tonight. It's rumored that Big Poppa Fatman is really pissed about The Boulder taking his hairspray without asking.Zechs
: "Oh, this could be a vicious fight. Oh! There Big Poppa Fatman is now! What's he doing?"Treize
: "Well, buddy, it looks like he's holding a… PIG?"Zechs
: "I wonder ::wink wink:: what he's gonna do with THAT!"Treize
: " This could turn out to be messy!"Zechs
: " You betcha!"(Camera pans away from ring, to a sign that says, 'SKWEEL LIK A PEEG' in blue crayon. Grunts, squeals, crunches and screams are heard from the ring.)
Zechs
: "Ooooh, don't you have to have a permit for that? Oooooh! Yuck!Treize
: "I think I need another rose bath right now…I feel dirty. Oh well, Let's get the cleanup crew out there with some 409 and we'll get to the next match! This next fight is between…"(Loud booms and Pyrotechnics go off at both ends of the arena)
Zechs
: "What is this?"Treize
: "Looks like a surprise bout here, but who IS it?"(The smoke in the south-end doorway begins to clear; the camera shows a pair of tall dominatrix boots then pans upward to show a hazy shot of a black leather-teddy-clad figure. The crowd 'oohs' and men wolf-whistle at the smoky figure.)
Treize
: "Who IS that? I can't see…"(The smoke clouding the sexy figure's face clears; and it's… QUATRE?!?)
Zechs
: "Hoooooly Bejeezus, get him outta here!"Treize
: "But who is he fighting? Who's that other wrestler?"(Another camera zooms in on the challenger's face; And it appears to be… CATHERINE?!?)
Zechs
: "Whooooa. This is getting weird."Treize
: " I wonder what their beef is?"(Quatre shoots little icy glares across the arena. He holds his microphone up.)
Quatre
: "Okay, miss hoochie-mama, yo time wit my Trowa is up!"Catherine
: "Give it up, you fruit! Trowa doesn't WANT you!"Quatre
: " WHAT did you call ME? Oh, hell no! Bitch, I'm comin' ova there to slap you down like the bitch you are!"Catherine
: "Not if I meet you in the middle, rainbow crusader!"(They sprint to the ring, and start to circle each other while hurling insults.)
Catherine
: "Queenie-Quatre!"Quatre
: "Slut!"Catherine
: "Pooftah!"Quatre
: "Tease!"(They run out of insults and start to charge at each other. Trowa runs in between them.)
Trowa
: "Stop this, you two."(Quatre and Catherine turn on him.)
B
oth: "SHUT UP!"(They advance toward Trowa. He looks scared enough to pee in his tight white jeans.)
Trowa
: "Okay, you… heh heh…don't have to if you don't want to…heh heh.."Treize
: "This doesn't look good…"(Duo jumps between the enraged pair and Trowa.)
Duo
: "Okay, I don't want to ::gulp:: hurt any of you, so just back up."Trowa
: "Duo, I can fight my own battles, thank you very much!"Duo
: "Oh, shut up, flute boy."(Hilde jumps in the ring.)
Hilde
: "Okay, everybody. Just calm down…"Duo
: "Yeah, just stay cool, man. No problems, right?"(Heero and Wufei grab Quatre and Catherine from behind.)
Duo
: "See, everything's under control. And look who saved the day! It's Woofie and the Prozac Posterchild!"Wufei
: "What did you just call me? This is injustice!"Heero
: "Prozac? Mission declined. New mission: Kick the shit out of braid-boy. Mission: Accepted."(Heero and Wufei let go of their captives.)
Zechs
: "This is gettin' good!"Treize
: "SHHHHH!"(Hilde jumps in front of the growing pack of Duo-haters.)
Hilde
: "Can't you guys just talk this out? I really don't want you hurting Duo!"(Duo makes faces at the rest of them from the safety behind Hilde.)
Duo
: "See, don't you all wish you had a sexy bodyguard like this? What a hot chick! But she can be a bitch…"Hilde
: "WHAAAAAT??!?"(She spins around, Leaving Duo prone to attack.)
Hilde
: "I'm a what? Oh, hell no, You're paying for that one!"(The pack of furious Duo-Haters advances)
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT???????