VWF
First Show Monday Night Madness!
In the center of Videogame Land, the border
between Sony Land, Sega Land, and Nintendo Land, there is a large arena.
Inside, various creatures, animals, and people form a crowd around a square
wrestling ring. In the center of the ring stands James Bond and Big Boo.
Bond: Welcome to the Videogame Wrestling
Federation! We have gathered together the best video game characters that the
author has encountered. Here in the VWF, we have world championship belts for
both our men's and women's division, as well as a tag team belt for each
division, an intergender tag team belt, and the hardcore championship, which is
intergender. Take it away Boo!
Boo: OK, are you guys and gals ready to rock?
(crowd goes absolutely bonkers)
Boo: Well, I think we've wasted enough of your
time, so here we go!
The two commentators walk over to their table.
Bond: Our first match is for the Hardcore
Championship.
Boo: Get ready for plenty of insane action, as
the first ever VWF match is Ryu vs. Sagat!
(Ryu's theme plays)
a nervous red Koopa Trooper checks his cards
to make sure he correctly announces the combatants
Red Koopa: Introducing, from Japan, Ryu!
The crowd goes nuts cheering for the martial
arts master. But Ryu just walks down the ramp and climbs into the ring. He
seems to be focusing his strength.
(Sagat's theme plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from Thailand, Sagat!
The crowd boos Sagat, but Sagat ignores them,
instead focusing on his foe, with whom he has more than a few bones to pick.
Sagat taunts Ryu, but Ryu ignores him.
The bell rings as the first ever VWF match
starts. Ryu suddenly launches a fireball at the tall kickboxer, but Sagat
dodges the projectile.
Sagat charges Ryu, getting ready to use his
Tiger Knee attack. Ryu blocks the Tiger Knee, then unleashes his Dragon Punch
at Sagat. Sagat goes flying to the other side of the ring.
Boo: Oh my goodness! I thought only Ken had
that powerful a Dragon Punch!
Bond: I've so rumors that Ryu and Ken have
been training together, so Ken might have helped Ryu perfect it....
As they talk, Sagat recovers and begins
launching high and low Tiger Shots. Everyone can see the rage in Sagat's one
good eye. Ryu quickly dodges them and leaps into the air.
Boo: It looks like he's going to try to hit
Sagat with his Flying Hurricane Kick!
Indeed, Ryu has started the famed move. Sagat
gets hit in the face with the full impact of Ryu's foot, and thuds to the
floor. Ryu quickly pins Sagat as the referee, a member of the Mushroom people
counts the three, giving Ryu victory and the Hardcore Belt!
Bond: What a match! This is a great way to
start off the VWF, don't you think so Boo?
Boo: Yes, and with a true champion as well.
Ryu is an example to all as to what a professional is. He does what he has to,
no more, no less.
Bond: Our next match is for the Women's Tag
Team Titles. It will be Tifa and Aeris of Final Fantasy VII fame agianst Fara
Phoenix and Katt Monroe of Starfox fame!
Note: Just for the record, Fara Phoenix has
only appeared in the Starfox comic strip that ran in Nintendo Power about
eleven years ago as far as Nintendo is comcerned. However, many Starfox
fansites feature her as a main character. For those of you who don't know this
charming young fox, she is a love interest of Fox McCloud's, an almost exact
twin of Fox's mother Vixie, and a pretty good pilot to boot!
Bond: Here we go!
(the FFVII theme, played on a guitar is heard)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from Midgar, Tifa
Lockheart and Aeris Gainsborough!
The two friends walk to the ring and climb in,
all along smiling and waving to the crowd.
Bond: Despite some rumors, these two are great
friends.
(the Starfox theme plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from Corneria and
Zoness, Fara Phoenix and Katt Monroe, respectively!
The two also cheerily walk to the ring and
climb in.
Boo: I've recently heard that both Fara and
Katt have joined Starfox, although the two will not be flying in Arwings, as
General Pepper is late on his payments to the team and Arwings are rather
expensive!
Bond: Yes, I've heard something to that
effect. Let's get on with the match!
As the bell rings, Aeris and Katt are in the
ring. They exchange rather weak looking blows, mostly slaps and chops to open
the match until Aeris tags in Tifa.
Boo: And here comes Tifa Lockheart, a
beautiful martial arts veteran! Look out Starfox!
Bond: All I'll say is she can lock up my heart
any time!
Boo: I certainly hope Cloud didn't hear you
say that!
Tifa comes in and procedes to clean Katt's
clock with a series of kicks that would take out the toughest street thug. Katt
staggers to her corner as Fara sticks her arm into the ring as far as she can.
Katt flops forward to tag her in. Fara just catches Katt's hand and enters the
ring.
Boo: I think Fara will suffer a fate similar
to that of Katt.
Boo's prediction comes true. Neither Katt nor
Fara had half of the training in hand-to-hand combat that Tifa has. Tifa kicks
Fara square on the side of her head, knocking her for a loop. Then she punches
Katt, taking her out. Tifa jack knifes over Fara into a pin, and the ref slaps
the mat three times! Tifa and Aeris win the Women's Tag Team Titles! Avalanche
comes in from the back and celebrates with their friends.
Boo: Cloud better not celebrate too much, as
he has a match tonight (squints at a sheet of paper) for the Men's World Title
later on!
Bond: Yep, and right now we have our Men's Tag
Team Title match as The Super Mario Brothers take on Sonic the Hedgehog and
Tails the Fox!
(the Super Mario Bros. theme plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from Brooklyn, New
York, the Super Mario Brothers, Mario Mario and Luigi Mario!
The brothers come out, and the crowd goes
nuts, and then Mario and Luigi nod to each other, and they...do the Mario(swing
your arms from side to side, etc.) The crowd becomes deafening in their cheers,
to the point where you actually can't hear the entrance music. After a bit of
grooving, they decide to get down to the ring and await their opponents.
(the Sonic the Hedgehog theme plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from Mobius, Sonic the
Hedgehog and Tails the Fox!
Sonic and Tails, true to their nature, dash
down to the ring. The crowd gives them a great reaction as well, but they aren't
as loud as they were for when the Mario Bros. danced.
Bond: What a reaction these guys are getting!
My ears are still ringing. What the!
(Bowser's theme from Super Mario 64 plays)
Boo: Bowser is coming over here!
Bond: Hello, and why are you here so early,
Bowser, your match isn't until later on against Cloud Strife!
Bowser: ( sitting down and putting on a pair
of headphones) First of all, that pipsqeak doesn't have a chance against me,
the mighty King of the Koopas! And second, Mr. Bond, I wanted to do some color
commentary.
Bond: Just remember, you aren't scheduled to
be involved in this match. If you’re considering starting trouble, I've got a
fully loaded PP7 with me!
Bowser: Like that puny little peashooter could
actually hurt me, the King of the Koopas. I've survived plunges into lava! But
still, there is no need for threats, Mr. Bond. Let's just enjoy the beating
those two plumber boys are gonna get!
Mario and Sonic circle each other as the bells
rings. Sonic uses his Spin Dash to knock Mario into the turnbuckle.
Bowser: That's it! Hit him! Hit him! Keep on
him! Knock him senseless!
Sonic lands a few more punches before Mario
recovers. Noticing how close Sonic is, Mario wallops him with a Super Jump
Punch. Sonic goes flying.
Tails: Hey, Sonic, did you forget I'm the one
who's supposed to fly?
A dazed Sonic tags in the eager young fox.
Mario tags in Luigi. Tails spins his tails to hover just out of Luigi's reach.
Tails: Ha ha, you can't get me, ha ha, you
can't get me!
Luigi: You-a just-a watch-a!
Luigi catches Tails by suprise with his own
Super Jump Punch, knocking the two tailed fox out of the air. Luigi lays in
with the punches and kicks on the small fox, who is definately not in his
element. Luigi clocks Sonic, then tags in Mario.
Boo: This could be trouble for Tails...
Indeed it is, Mario whips Tails into ropes,
Luigi hops back in, and the Mario Brothers hit the Spicy Meatball ( also known
as the death drop)! Mario hooks Tails' leg and pins him for the three count!
Mario and Luigi win the Men's Tag Team Titles!
Bowser: Shoot!
Suddenly, a pack of Goombas rush out from the
back, but..
Bond: Here comes Link!
Mario, Luigi, and Link quickly dispatch of the
Goombas, and leave to an ovation. Bond whips out his PP7 and aims it at Bowser.
Bowser: I swear, I didn't tell them to do it!
Bond: OK, I'll believe that for now, but they
better not come out again...
Bowser: Trust me, they won't.
Bond: I trust you only as far as I can throw
you, and that isn't very far. Besides, how would you know if you didn't send
them?
Bowser: Er....uh...oh! I gotta go, I
left...umm...something in the oven! Yeah! Can't let my Koopa cake get burnt!
Bowser hurries away and Bond puts his gun
away.
Boo:A likely story. But now, on to our next
match, Link and Saria will face Crono and Marle for the Intergender Tag Team
Title!
(the Legend of Zelda theme from Super Smash
Bros. plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from the Kokiri
Forest, Link and Saria!
The two come out to a booming ovation as they
ride in on Epona.
Bond: I don't know how well Saria can fight,
as she always seemed to be a peace maker.
Boo: But remember her partner! Link is the
Hero of Time! He took out Gannondorf and Majora's Mask! He can take on two
teenagers easily, I feel.
Bond: But these two are no ordinary teenagers.
These two have seen more than their fair share of adventure themselves.
(Chrono's theme plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from the Kingdom of
Guardia, Crono and Princesss Nadia!
Marle: Call me Marle, please!
Red Koopa: Uh, OK, Introducing, from the
Kingdom of Guardia, Crono and Marle!
Marle: That's better. Thank you.
Red Koopa: No problem.
They walk down, getting a good cheer, but not
as loud as the others had gotten.
Chrono: Hey, did everyone forget about us when
Chrono Cross came out?
Marle: Maybe. Let's prove we can still put up
a good fight!
The bell rings, and Link and Crono start out.
They circle and exchange blows. Suddenly, Crono rolls Link up in a small
package! Saria comes in to break the pin, but Marle comes in and slugs her.
Crono gets the three count over the suprised Link! Crono and Marle win the
Intergender Tag Team Title!
Bond: Well, Boo, what do you have to say about
the match. I was quite suprised by Crono's sudden move.
Boo: You're telling me! I was shocked by
Link's defeat.
Bond: Our next match is for the Women's World
Championship! Samus Aran will face Cammy!
(Samus' theme from Super Smash Bros. plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from, well, we don't
really know where she's from, but, Samus Aran!
The bounty hunter gets a good reaction from
the crowd.
(Cammy's theme from Super Street Fighter 2
plays)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from England, Cammy!
Cammy gets a pretty nice gretting, but Samus received
a nicer one.
Bond: This looks to be a good one, but Samus'
body armor gives her a definate advantage.
Boo: I agree. Cammy will have a hard time
really hurting Samus.
The bell rings, and the two circle, for a
second, then Samus kicks Cammy hard in the midsection. Samus whips Cammy into
the ropes and looks to clock Cammy with another punch, but Cammy dodges and
hits a hurricarana from behind!
Boo: What agility by Cammy! Samus has to be
stunned, armor or not!
Samus is in fact dazed. But she quickly shakes
it off and leaps high into the air.
Bond: Samus may be looking for a sunset flip!
Cammy dodges Samus' attack and grabs Samus
from behind. She attempts to lift Samus into a German suplex, but Samus is too
heavy. Instead, Samus hip tosses Cammy. Samus climbs one of the turnbuckles.
Bond: If Samus hits Cammy with any sort of
move with that heavy armor, kiss this match goodbye!
Samus tries for an elbow drop, but Cammy rolls
out of the way. Samus is writhing in pain from the shock of the miss. Cammy
hits a standing moonsault and pins her for three and the Women's World
Championship!
Bond: Quite an upset for Cammy, eh Boo?
Boo: Yup, and this is a lesson to all
wrestlers, when you go up top, make sure you're gonna hit, or you'll pay.
Bond: And now, for the last match of this
first show for the VWF, the Men's World Title match is Cloud Strife vs. the
King of the Koopas, Bowser!
(the FFVII theme, played on a guitar is heard)
Red Koopa: Introducing, from Midgar and
accompanied to the ring by the Women's Tag Team Championships, Tifa and Aeris,
Cloud Strife!
Cloud rides in with Tifa and Aeris on his
motorcycle. The crowd isn’t shy about rooting for him in this matchup.
Red Koopa: Introducing, from the Neon Castle
and accompanied to the ring by the Koopa Kids, King Bowser Koopa!
The crowd truely hates Bowser, and the boos he
gets proves it as he rides in on his Clown Copter.
Bowser: (whispering to himself) Heh, just wait
'till Cloud sees what I'm gonna do, he he he.
Bond: This looks like a great match!
The bell rings, and Bowser snaps his fingers.
Suddenly, a swarm of Goombas and Koopa Troopas, not including the ring
announcer, floods the area and carrys Aeris and Tifa into the Clown Copter. The
ref instantly disqualifys Bowser,a s he was already warned, then he jumps into
the Copter with the two heroines. He punches both with his massive arms and
knocks them out. Barret runs out and trys to shoot down the Clown Copter, but
he misses. Bowser blows a hole in the dome with a Bullet Bill and escapes.
Cloud gets the title belt, but Tifa and Aeris are gone. Cloud weeps in the ring
onto the belt as Avalanche and Starfox come down and try to comfort him. Then,
Dash Rendar comes out.
Cloud: Oh, man. I can't believe it. They're
gone again. This time both of them. Oh man, oh man, oh man.
Fox McCloud: We'll get him. Our Arwings will
hunt him down.
Dash: So will I.
Cloud: Oh man, thank you, all of you. Just one
thing: save Bowser, I want his carcass.
Cid: We'll help those guys too. That @#$%
Bowser is gonna pay.
Barret: Oh yeah, you better believe it!
Boo: What a strange way to end the show. Well,
I'm the Big Boo and, for my partner, James Bond, it was fun 'till Bowser
kidnapped Tifa and Aeris, but we'll see you next time on Thursday Night
Explosion! Good night everybody!