Duo Maxwell glanced at his wife's sleeping form and smiled. He still couldn't believe that Relena, the world's beloved Vice Foreign Minister, loved and had agreed to marry him. Actually, everyone had been surprisedˇKExcept for Heero Yuy.

-June of A.C. 197-

The wind blew softly through the trees as the twinkling stars in the black sky watched over two people sitting on a low hill. There wasn't a trace of a cloud, allowing the moon's glow to illuminate Relena, making her almost seem like Artemis. Heero could easily imagine her in a flowing white dress and perhaps delicate wings on her back. Although he appeared calm, on the inside he was suffering from guilt. Guilt because he knew he could never give Relena true happiness.

Relena cast him a concerned look. She knew better than to ask though; he would tell her when he was ready. In the meantime, she would just have to settle for cuddling against his warm chest. Which wasn't really such a bad alternative when she thought about it; on the contrary, it was quite the opposite.

A two-story Victorian style house sat behind them with only the living room lights on. Joyous laughter could be heard from the friends conversing. Only one person was missing and though he thought no one would be aware of his absence, Hilde noticed. She had been worried since the day they arrived; everyone else had someone except for him. Heero had Rel, Quatre had Dorothy, Trowa had Marriah-a girl from the circus, Wufei had Sally despite the age difference, and Noin and Milliardo had each other since they were happily married. Duo had invited her because they were best friends and she had just recently broken up with a guy named Max, so she had to do something other than sitting at home moping. Hilde looked up at the stairs leading to the attic and sighed. Best leave him to his thoughts for now.

The beam from his flashlight flitted across the dark room. He stared mindlessly at the wall in front of him. A giggle from outside attracted his attention. Duo smiled bitterly. Those two were so much in love, and he had no one, of course. Who'd want to date Shinigami? But it wasn't like he didn't have anyone in mind. Just that the object-of-interest was currently outside, lying on the grass, in the protective arms of her "little prince from outer space". GodˇKwhen had he realized that he had fallen in love with the corrupted by war yet still innocent somehow symbol of peace? Three, four months ago? Or was it during the Mariemaia incident? Maybe it had even started during the Eve Wars. He couldn't remember. But, Heero was his friend and he would never trespass into his friends' territory. What he could do was wish to die, because the longing, pain, and memories overwhelmed him. He just wanted to escape from all the hurt.

Duo buried his face in his hands. How ironic is it that the things you really, really wanted you never get? People would say he was being selfish; after all, he had a great job, a place to live, and three meals a day. In other words, he was pretty well off. The truth was though, he would give up all those material things in a second in exchange for Relena's love.

A knock came at the attic door and in his haste to make his appearance carefree and goofy, he fell off the seat connected to the window (AN: what are those things called?).

"Duo, are you okay?"

"R-Relena! Um, yea, I just fell off, clumsy me. Eh heh. SooˇKwhat brings you here?"

She answered slowly, as if he were a little child, "You do know this is my house?" Laughing softly she continued, "Anyway, Quatre made cocoa. Want a cup?"

"Sure, thanks. How come you're not with Heero?"

"Hilde made a bet with Heero. They're trying to see who's better at hacking. He said just because she managed to get data from Libra doesn't mean she's an expert. So, she's trying to prove him wrong. It was strange, Hilde specifically asked me to bring this up to you..."

Duo cursed under his breath. Hilde couldn't know about his feelings, could she? Nah, he wasn't that obviousˇKwas he? Shimatta!

"Duo? Hey, Duo?"

"Huh? What?"

"Penny for your thoughts."

"A penny saved is a penny earned."

"I take it that means you won't tell me?" she pleaded him with her eyes.

"That's not gonna work 'jousan! As a Vice Foreign Minister, this is one of the rare times you decide to put off work to hang out with your friends. I don't want to burden you with my issues; you should go downstairs and have fun."

Relena sighed. "Duo, you know I'm always willing to listen and help. Promise me if you need someone you'll come to me?"

"Alright, if it'll make you happy."

"It will. Now, about the subject of having fun. Listening to those two insult each other, making Sally and Wufei take sides is entertaining, but not fun. It would be if you'd be willing to join me."

"Maybe later, I want to stay up here a little longer."

"I'll keep you company."

Duo set his cup down. "Nuh-uh. If you stay up here in the gloomy dark, you'll get depressed." He took her shoulders and guided her towards the door, "Your mission is to go downstairs and restrain Hilde from throwing valuable objects at Heero later when she gets pissed."

She stuck her tongue out replying, "Mission accepted."

Closing the door behind her, he went back to his seat. It was going to be a long night, too longˇK

-A month and a half later, Heero's POV-

I shut my apartment door and went to my bedroom to drop off my things, passing a picture of Relena and me at the park. She was laughing and I showed a slight hint of a smile as I tickled her. By now I had started to believe that I should have kept in the shadows after the Mariemaia incident. Never should've showed up on her doorsteps and rung the bell.

My guilt was eating away at me. I don't think I could possibly face living another day with this lie. Had to tell Relena now. She had mentioned marriage earlier this week. Hands shaking a bit, I picked up the phone and dialed Relena's cell. Her voice mail picked up.

"Hello, Relena, it's me. Can you meet me in the park at eight?"

-The same time at Duo's apartment-

The lights were off and curtains closed. Not a peep of light entered the dark residence. A lone figure sat against the wall, rocking himself back and forthˇK Hands clutching his headˇK Tears of indescribable pain slipping through his fingersˇK

*Duo's POV*

~- S-Stop it ~-

~- Stop it ~-

~- Stop it stop it YAMETE!! ~-

My eyes opened suddenly and I gasped for air. Chest heaving as unbearable flashbacks flew by with lightning speed. Images of Solo, Maxwell Church, the other orphans, Father Maxwell, and Sister Helen. The faceless parents who had probably died for all I know. My head throbbed achingly, nonstop.

Death. What else could one hope for when he's already on the brink of madness, when he wishes with all his heart that he had never been born? I laughed insanely. To wish for someone who would understand what I was going through was just way too much to request, I guess. All my friends were more or less happy, and I doubt they wanted to be troubled with my problems.

The hurt was beyond belief, really. It was almost too clustered to list, but I could make out some of the events that were part of the dilemma. The twisted childhood, the stress that was never let out; it all piled up into one big mess and my current state was the end result. Who would've thought? Or maybe the promises I made to myself to be different from all those other fools who went through depression was just one big lie. So who was the real fool? Me, of course.

Light from somewhere had somehow shone through, and the glint of a knife on the table caught my eye. It would be so easy to slit my wrists right now. No one at work would notice for at least three days. Or perhaps I could go jump off the roof. It was high enough. Problem is, how was I supposed to get up there without one of my neighbors noticing? One of them was bound to see and would surely yell and holler. I closed my eyes and let my head drop against the wall behind me.

"Like any of you would understand my reasons to jump. Well let's see what tomorrow drags in."