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Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Gundam Wing characters, all I own here is my story and Adina~K~
Chapter 4
Relena found a spot to sit on a bench placed in the garden that stretched its way around the hotel. A rose bush near the bench caught her eye. It was full of dark red roses that glittered under the last rays of the setting sun. Her slender fingers gingerly touched the silken petals, enjoying the feel against her skin. A slight smile graced her lips, holding little sincerity.
" How is it you can be so beautiful?" She asked, speaking to the rose she picked from the bush. Just then the lamplights came on signifying that night had fallen. Beyond the property of the hotel was what looked to be a path that led to a nearby forest. Something drove Relena to take a walk before calling someone to pick her up. Standing, she left the bouquet she 'caught' on the bench, taking with her the red rose and purse. She started making her way toward the small dirt path. In her hand she twirled her red rose. With the twist of her wrist a thorn pricked her forefinger, blood trickling from where it had pierced her skin. She shook her hand, instinctively putting it to her mouth to ease the pain.
"Beauty comes with a price, doesn't it?" She asked bitterly." It was once thought that you get so rich of a color from the blood you draw with the sting of your thorns." Her stony eyes began to soften as tears started to collect in them. It wasn't from her pain but the pain that mankind went through. The peace's beauty came at the price of those willing to shed their blood in order for its ideal to become a reality. During this same peace Relena came to the conclusion that when people see her as beautiful, their just looking at her splendor and not the thorns of war that brought this to her.
Her thoughts then turned to how cold she let herself become. Heero's question opened a wound that she hated to be reminded of. Just like this rose she couldn't hate, Heero was just the same. Her thoughts weighed down the tears from making their way down her porcelain like face. The sun had set, allowing the night to envelop the once blue sky with its covering of a diamond studded black. Her wanderings led her about 20 to 30 feet into the quiet, serene forest. Turning around she saw the light from the garden, a beacon showing her the way back. Her feet ached from the high-heeled sandals she wore all day. Easing them off of her feet, she smiled at the sudden feel of the cool ground under her bare skin. On her way she started singing the first song that came to mind.
"What I wanted to say never came out the way
I wanted it to, I wanted it to,
Cause what I wanted to say only got in the way,
I never meant to hurt you,
I didn't have a clue."
A few seconds after singing those words did their meaning begin to register in her mind.
"What I told Heero must of hurt him, but I said exactly what I wanted to say. Unknowing to him, his words caused me pain while my words were meant to hurt and they did." She let out a frustrated sigh before continuing with her personal soliloquy. "Why am I like this! I have become an ignorant fool among all else." Suddenly she paused upon re-entering the garden. Her eyes were glued to the bench she had sat earlier where the shadowy figure of someone sitting down could be seen. The person was admiring the same red rose bush next to it. Even before seeing the person's face, she knew it was Heero.
"You took the words right out of my mouth." Heero spoke, his back still turned to Relena as she approached where he sat.
"What words?" She asked, taking a seat next to him.
"The song you were singing. It seems to have summed up all I wanted to tell you after our interesting conversation earlier today." His voice carried an amused ring to it.
"And what did you feel was so interesting about it?" She asked, slightly upset at his evaluation of what turned out to be very painful for her.
"Interesting in that my observations of you were correct." He turned around locking eyes with her, his Persian blue to her Aqua orbs. "I've discovered many things through the past few years, some of which were friendship, faith, and hope. I've also found that keeping this newfound knowledge to myself would only be a waste. " His tone of voice was serious yet soft, an intoxicating mix with the way he was searching her soul with his eyes. All Relena could do was listen, her eyes never leaving his. "The last thing I want to see now is what I've lived with most of my life and that's heartache and pain. I wasn't allowed to let my emotions surface when faced with these, even when the pain belonged to me." A rueful smile came to his lips as he looked to the ground. "After all, emotions were said to have no place in the battlefield."
"Heero, I…" Relena began sympathetically, but was cut short by the touch of Heero's finger against her soft lips.
"Please Relena, let me finish. This life I find myself living now is more then I could have ever imagined some odd years ago. These changes bring something I never thought I would experience called happiness. It's a change you yourself had a great part in. But Relena, along with my change I watched you change as well, yet there is no sign of happiness evident in your life as a result of it. "Heero got up and took a step in front of the rose bush, on his face a serious look. "This change, I just want to know, why?"
It wasn't the question that caught her off guard but in the way he asked it. This had to be the first time she truly felt ashamed of her life. She turned her head to look at Heero; as she did so tears started making their way down her face.
"I'm not sure why…" Relena managed to say in a hushed voice. "You've said you found hope while I, on the other hand, have nothing to hope for. My life is meaningless except for the picture of peace I make for mankind. Peace for the universe, but no peace of mind for my soul." Her head went down, her gaze falling on her lap as the remaining tears slid down over to her lips.
"You're wrong, Relena. You are worth much more then that." Heero's words brought him to look at her. He saw how her tears, like trails of silver, made their way down her face while glistening in the pale moonlight.
"To who, God?" She asked, not believing that her confused life held any worth.
"To God, yes…" He paused, placing a finger under her chin lifting her tear stained eyes to once again look into his." And to me." Without thinking he lowered his face to hers, closing the space between them with a light touch of the lips. The taste of salt from her tears now lingered on his lips as well. Pulling back he saw the look of confusion in her eyes just before she shoved him away. Before anything else happened he had a small fist connecting hard with his jaw. He looked a little surprised as he rubbed where he had been hit.
"That's not very pacifistic of you." He said with a smile on his face.
As she walked away, Relena yelled, "Screw Pacifism! I'm not the kind of girl to not know when I'm being played like a fool." Her walk broke into a run, not caring much about leaving her sandals behind. Once she was out of Heero's sight she slowed to walk, talking to herself; trying to make some sense as to what had happened." Because Heero found his emotions doesn't mean he can toy with mine… Who am I kidding? It's my problem, not his." Again she found herself trying to hold back tears without much hope. The cold air was chilling to her bare skin and the sidewalk's concrete wasn't all that comfortable to her bare feet. Her thoughts became a little clearer as she took a few deep breaths of the night's fresh air. * Those things he told me and the kiss, * she brought her hand to her lips as if trying to relive the feel of it, * were they sincere? * Turning her eyes to the heavens offering up a prayer to God," I want something to be sure of. It doesn't have to be security but something that can support me for a little while longer. Help me go back to the innocence I once knew, dear God." Relena found herself somewhere on the open street that led away from the hotel, but didn't mind; she had more important things to think about at the moment. After a couple more minutes she heard the sound of a car behind her but wasn't at all alarmed by it. It was a matter of time before he would catch up to her because it still wasn't Heero's style to let anything go unresolved. The black BMW slowed down to where it was right next to her. Heero rolled down the passenger window, but Relena kept on walking indifferent to his presence.
"Relena, please get in the car. I'll give you a ride home." Heero said, still driving to keep up with her. She ignored him and kept walking. " I know you heard me so stop being stubborn." His voice was stern, the 'don't mess with me now' tone of voice.
"I don't want to." Relena replied, her eyes still straight ahead as she walked on.
"Relena, get in here!" Heero said a little louder.
Relena was getting mad at this."No, why don’t you!" She retorted without thinking.
"I'm already in the car." Heero responded, smiling at how cute an infuriated Relena looked.
Sighing in defeat, she stopped and reluctantly got into the passenger seat. When she got in she noticed everything she had left behind was there either on the dash or back seats. They began driving, both silent and waiting for the other to start talking. Relena was the first to speak.
" I'm sorry for my rash behavior back there. I know it's no excuse, but I'm just really confused."
"That goes for both of us." He drove on in the opposite direction of the church and Relena didn't notice until now.
"The church is that way… " Relena said pointing in the other direction then where they were going.
"I know. I just want to make sure you make it home safely. You can get your car later." Heero said matter-of-factly. Relena eased up at his sweet intentions and was about to say something until he started again." I'm sorry too, for my actions earlier. I don't exactly know what's going on with me. Did you…" he hesitated a bit before finishing the question," did you like the kiss?" He looked at her through the corner of his eye, hoping in a way that she would say she enjoyed it.
"It caught me off guard, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it." Relena said, a little blush coming to her cheeks.
The car fell silent, each of their smiles were kept hidden by the dark of night. Soon they arrived at the Peacecraft mansion, but both of them didn't move as to get out. Relena turned to Heero who was looking straight ahead.
"Thank you, Heero, for the ride." She picked up her belongings, having put on her sandals during the drive. Going to open the door to leave she was stopped by Heero putting his hand on hers once again. This time she didn't move her hand.
"These emotions I have are leading me somewhere, but as of now I have no idea as to where it'll be. I want answers and I know I'll get them if I just wait. " Heero's eyes were searching for understanding from within Relena's. She nodded with a small smile.
"I understand. Would you do me the favor of informing me when you arrive at the where they lead you?" She asked, and he took her hand in both of his before answering.
"You'll be the first one to know, I promise." With that he brought her hand up and kissed it once before releasing it. Relena smiled a smile that actually reached her eyes, a little of their lost spark returning for a moment. Opening the door she got out.
"I'll keep you to that promise, goodnight Heero." He nodded his farewell and watched her until she disappeared behind the mansion gates. Knowing she was in the safety of her home he left for his apartment on the other side of town. It had been a very long day, to say the least.
Meanwhile, the young princess walked to her house slowly. Once again she looked up and closed her eyes.
"I guess this promise is what I can use for stability for now. Thank you." She got inside with out much noise at all. Slowly she made her way past her brother and sister-in-law's room. Their lights were out and so was the light to Adina's room, the room adjacent to her own. Softly closing her door behind her, she knew that she would finally get a good night's rest.
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