MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
THE UNOFFICIAL EPISODE GUIDE

SEASON SIX: 1994-1995


601- GIRLS TOWN

First shown: 7/16/94
Opening: Preparing for Dr. F.'s big announcement
Intro: Dr. F.'s news conference announcing the world's first tethered satellite!
Host segment 1: Tom "scats" and drives Mike and Crow crazy
Host segment 2: Mike explains the meaning of the "honor system"
Host segment 3: Designing the style of women of the future
End: Getting the "Umbilicus" operational, with Mike and the 'Bots sending Dr. F. a "present!"
Stinger: "You tell that boy to go home right now! Or I'll call the police!"

602- INVASION U.S.A.
with short: "A DATE WITH YOUR FAMILY"

First shown: 7/23/94
Opening: Mike is trying to build a robot
Intro: Dr. F. tries an experiment that will determine if a robot in space would like him!
Host segment 1: Mike and the 'Bots are at dinner like in the short
Host segment 2: Tom makes Crow look like an idiot ("Which Lois Lane do you like better?")
Host segment 3: Playing Jenga and a visit from "A. Bomb"
End: The film changes Tom's outlook (he thinks it's all a dream), letter, Frank is on patrol!
Stinger: Man and woman are staring at each other as a paper boy cries out: "Extra! Paper! America invaded! Read all about it!"

603- THE DEAD TALK BACK
with short: "THE SELLING WIZARD"

First shown: 7/30/94
Opening: Gypsy's fire drill.
Intro: Dr. Forrester tries "pin-point marketing"
Host segment 1: Crow & Tom's talk show: "The Dead Talk Back"
Host segment 2: Mike and the 'Bots are "The Dead"
Host segment 3: Dr. F.'s interrogation session, Frank confesses, and Crow continues his guitar solo
End: Crow is still playing, Tom is acting up, Gypsy starts another fire drill while Mike reads a letter, Dr. Forrester is practicing his archery skills (on Frank!)
Stinger: Woman screams after seeing dead body

604- ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE

First shown: 11/24/94
Opening: Crow and Tom are Secret Service agents
Intro: The Mads are into voodoo, so they send a voodoo kit to the SOL
Host segment 1: Crow is reading when Tom runs him down!
Host segment 2: Mike, Crow and Tom are enjoying some time in the hot tub
Host segment 3: Tom and Mike are ready for Crow's "Batman" play, but he dropped that bomb a couple of weeks ago
End: Letters for Adam West, Frank turns Dr. F. into a zombie!
Stinger: Voodoo priestess finishes incantation and zombie screams!

605- COLOSSUS AND THE HEADHUNTERS

First shown: 8/20/94
Opening: Tax time on the SOL
Intro: Dr. F. invents the world's most adorable pet!
Host segment 1: Frank sings about "Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter"
Host segment 2: Nummy's fur is all over the SOL, and Gypsy is allergic to it
Host segment 3: Nummy is sick, Frank is sick, and Mike decides that in order to cure both, he will send Nummy back to Deep 13
End: "What does it feel like to get you head chopped off?", letters, Frank and Dr. F. are fawning over Nummy
Stinger: Guy in blue robe gets shot by an arrow

606- THE CREEPING TERROR

First shown: 9/17/94
Opening: Tom is a building security officer
Intro: Laundry day in Deep 13, Dr. F.'s coffee shop-pretentious experiment
Host segment 1: Crow makes a flag for the Satellite of Love
Host segment 2: "Love Satellite Style"
Host segment 3: Mike finally sets up his stereo system
End: Crow and Tom want Gypsy to swallow them, letters, Dr. F. is "pressing" Frank about the laundry
Stinger: Screams, and "My God! What is it?"

607- BLOODLUST
with short: "UNCLE JIM'S DAIRY FARM"

First shown: 9/3/94
Opening: Crow's psychiatry session
Intro: Dr. F. redecorates Deep 13 for his mother's visit
Host segment 1: Crow's vegetable stand gets run over by Servo's car!
Host segment 2: Square dancing on the SOL
Host segment 3: "Welcome to the Mystery Murder Dinner Theater"
End: Crow and Tom think that Mike is hunting them, letters, Mrs. Pearl Forrester and Frank are going out on the town instead of staying for the dinner that Dr. F. cooked
Stinger: Guy crying out after getting a crossbow bolt in the stomach

608- CODE NAME: DIAMOND HEAD
with short: "A DAY AT THE FAIR"

First shown: 10/1/94
Opening: Mike and the 'Bots are living in their own filth
Intro: The Mads are lording over their cleanliness, cleaning up the SOL
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom thinks Mike is too nice, then Magic Voice and Cambot show them what it would be like to live with a Mike that wasn't nice
Host segment 2: Then they are shown what it would be like to live with a Crash Test Dummy
Host segment 3: And finally, what it would like to live with the Frugal Gourmet
End: Luau on the SOL, Mike reads a letter after Tom hulas it, the Mads are seeing who is the cleanest
Stinger: "Aaaahhh! Johnny! Down there!"

609- THE SKY DIVERS
with short: "WHY STUDY THE INDUSTRIAL ARTS?"

First shown: 8/27/94
Opening: "The Tom Star Show"
Intro: Deep 13's swing choir vs. the SOL's Swing Choir
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom are in shop class (Crow cuts himself in half!)
Host segment 2: Crow puts himself in a "double jock lock"
Host segment 3: Crow is polishing his car when Tom strafes it in his biplane!
End: Crow and Tom are stuck after parachuting, letter, Dr. F. is teaching Frank a lesson
Stinger: "I don't know. I feel real free up there in the high blue sky."

610- THE VIOLENT YEARS
with short: "YOUNG MAN'S FANCY"

First shown: 10/8/94
Opening: Servo's new head?!
Intro: The Mads want to use theme music to take over the world and theirs is "Living in Deep 13"
Host segment 1: Theme song thingy tested poorly, so the Mads are going to start their own radio station called "Frank!"
Host segment 2: Tom is Ester Hoffman Howard, but can't stop laughing
Host segment 3: Crow's one man show about Keanu Reeves starring Mike!
End: Mike and Crow are recreating the gas station hold-up scene from the movie, Tom and Gypsy read a letter, the Mads are still trying to push the radio station
Stinger: "So, what!"

611- LAST OF THE WILD HORSES

First shown: 10/15/94
Opening: Mike programs Crow and Tom with different regional speech patterns
Intro: Dr. F's experiment (a matter transference device) gets sent up to the SOL during an ion storm. Guess what happens....
Host segment 1: After the Mirror-Mads watch the movie, they start singing "Joey the Lemur." Meanwhile back in our universe, Mike is trying to get Mirror-Servo into the theater
Host segment 2: Mike and Crow discuss their situation, while Mirror-Gypsy and Mirror-Servo discuss "Command-things"
Host segment 3: Mike and Crow are reading "The Alternate Universe Manual" while Mirror-Servo threatens Mike. Meanwhile in the mirror universe, Mirror-Crow attacks Mirror-Mike and Tom and Gypsy figure out how to reverse the process (and leave an agony booth in Deep 13!)
End: Mike explains what just happened, Tom's lame joke, the Mirror-Mads stop by while a letter is read, The Mads are enjoying the agony
Stinger: Dad in the wheelchair laughs

612- THE STARFIGHTERS

First shown: 10/29/94
Opening: Crow is trying to log onto the information super-highway
Intro: Cranial ports and Cowboy Mike's bold barbecue sauce
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom are reenacting the film's refueling sequence
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom "debrief" Mike
Host segment 3: The United Servo Academy Men's Chorus sing their hymn
End: Crow finally logs onto the information super-highway, letter, the Mads are sharing their thoughts
Stinger: The girl jabs her date in the ribs

613- THE SINISTER URGE
with short: "KEEPING CLEAN AND NEAT"

First shown: 11/5/94
Opening: Crow and Tom are giving Gypsy a bridal shower
Intro: "Where's Frank?" (and what's the bomb for?)
Host segment 1: Frank gives the SOL a taste of what he's going to do to Deep 13
Host segment 2: Frank's background gives no hint of why he wants to blow up Deep 13
Host segment 3: After everything else fails, Mike remembers that Frank loves potato cakes
End: Using the potato cakes, Dr. F. stops Frank's plan, letter, Deep Fried Frank!
Stinger: "Dirt? No that can't be dirt...uh, uh...no that's not dirt...no."

614- SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL

First shown: 11/19/94
Opening: Mike moderates a polictical debate on politics
Intro: Fixing up Deep 13, the long board gag
Host segment 1: Mike dresses up as Urkel and everyone can't help but laugh
Host segment 2: Mike is still Urkel, and several past guests appear and join in the laughter too
Host segment 3: Mike is still Urkel, and Nuveena pops in for a laugh, but Torgo never thought Urkel was that funny, thus the joke ends
End: Critiquing the movie, letters, don't tell Dr. F. his ears look unusual
Stinger: "My job, my way."

615- KITTEN WITH A WHIP

First shown: 11/23/94
Opening: Preparing Crow for a secret mission
Intro: His mission, to Deep 13 to find the 'secret button,' ends in failure
Host segment 1: Mike gives Crow and Tom Bionic Man/Woman noises
Host segment 2: A visit from a kitten with a whip
Host segment 3: Since the SOL crossed the equator, Mike thought the 'Bots were going to haze him, thus he saved them the trouble
End: Mexican festival with a Dr. F. piņata, letter, Dr. F. makes a real Frank piņata
Stinger: "I'll be a celebrity! And so will you!"

616- RACKET GIRLS
with short: "ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE"

First shown: 11/26/94
Opening: Lisa Loeb visits and sings
Intro: Security problems in Deep 13
Host segment 1: Crow and Tom are acting out the short (Crow wants to marry Tom!) with Mike asking questions from Cosmo
Host segment 2: Crow's bachelor party
Host segment 3: While the wedding has barely started, everybody starts fighting
End: Too much wrestling in this film, letters, Lisa Loeb gets into Deep 13
Stinger: SNAP! "It's gone!" "Where'd it go?"

617- THE SWORD AND THE DRAGON

First shown: 12/3/94
Opening: Playing D&D
Intro: New neighbors from Deep 12, Mike and the 'Bots put on a musical
Host segment 1: "A joke by Ingmar Bergman"
Host segment 2: Acting out the table cloth making scene
Host segment 3: A visit from the film's hero, Ilya Murametz
End: Gypsy's review of the musical, The Mads are so full of themselves!
Stinger: Knocking the wind demon out of a tree!

618- HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT
with short: "OUT OF THIS WORLD"

First shown: 12/10/94
Opening: Mike has a headache
Intro: Frank clones a dinosaur, Crow (using a chemistry set) mixes a potion that makes Tom Servo huge!
Host segment 1: "Specialty breads"
Host segment 2: Crow and Tom don't know what is wrong
Host segment 3: Crow and Tom are trying to break into Gypsy's diary (and failing miserably)
End: Mike reads a letter while the 'Bots act out the end of the movie, Dr. F. puts the dino down Frank's pants! (owie, owie, owie!)
Stinger: "A million bucks!"

619- RED ZONE CUBA
with short: "SPEECH"

First shown: 12/17/94
Opening: Tonight's lotto numbers
Intro: Frank owes the mob $50, but when they come to collect, he gets Dr. F. to "stand in" for him, Mike, Crow and Tom are in a casino playing bingo
Host segment 1: Frank thinks the "old Dr. F." wouldn't put up with being beaten to a pulp, and then he helps Dr. F. with his posture!
Host segment 2: Mike thinks he's Carol Channing, while Dr. F. gets "hope you die" wishes
Host segment 3: Dr. F. lives, dies, and lives again, but the mob says otherwise
End: Mike and the 'Bots sing a song to try and cheer themselves up, Dr. F. is still in pain, but since he is strangling Frank, he doesn't mind all that much
Stinger: Zombie lady playing piano

620- DANGER! DEATH RAY

First shown: 1/7/95
Opening: Crow has contact lenses
Intro: Frank is a talent agent
Host segment 1: Servo builds a death ray, and guess who he uses it on...
Host segment 2: "This is your life, Mike Nelson"
Host segment 3: Crow designs Italian sunglasses for men
End: Cambot has feelings about the end of the movie, Frank has a glamour shot done of himself!
Stinger: Dropping radio watch into swimming pool

621- THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS
with shorts: "MONEY TALKS!" & "PROGRESS ISLAND, U.S.A."

First shown: 1/21/95
Opening: Wallpapering the SOL
Intro: "Proposition Deep 13," vs. Candidate Mike Nelson
Host segment 1: A visit from some party animals (Crow joins them for a bit)
Host segment 2: Crow is anxious for lunch ("Is it 11:30 yet?")
Host segment 3: Crow pleads for the destruction of bad films (such as those made by Coleman Francis), but Mike doesn't think so and lets Crow know it
End: Mike and the 'Bots are celebrating their victory, letters, Dr. F.'s concession speech
Stinger: The beast is throwing a tantrum

622- ANGELS' REVENGE

First shown: 3/11/95
Opening: Crow thinks that he has amnesia
Intro: Using a food additive, Dr. F. turns Mike and the 'Bots into the cast of "Renegade," which improves the ratings, but the effect wears off, thus the ratings fall
Host segment 1: Crow writes a "Black-sploitation" film for everyone to star in
Host segment 2: Mike acts like the Fonz, but Crow and Tom blast him!
Host segment 3: Aaron Spelling's house passes by the S.O.L.
End: Tom invents the Shame-O-Meter, The Mads are dressed as Bobby Riggs and Billy-Jean King
Stinger: Night club act

623- THE AMAZING TRANSPARENT MAN
with short: "THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES"

First shown: 3/18/95
Opening: Crow is Tom's science project
Intro: Deep 13's bed and breakfast with Mike, Crow and Tom providing "local color"
Host segment 1: Crow learns about "gentle pressure," but doesn't practice it
Host segment 2: Frank gets a day off, but the film he wants to see closed three weeks ago
Host segment 3: Mike plays his electronic organ
End: Answering the film's question, transparent letter, Tea time in Deep 13
Stinger: Petting the invisible guinea pig...

624- SAMSON VS. THE VAMPIRE WOMEN

First shown: 3/25/95
Opening: Observing a moment of silence on the SOL
Intro: The Mads and Mike, Crow and Tom enjoy some Chinese food
Host segment 1: Playing Stratego with Crow learning that something wonderful is going to happen
Host segment 2: Frank leaves Deep 13 with Torgo the White to a place where lackeys, toadies, and whipping boys live in peace and contentment
Host segment 3: Dr. F. is wondering where Frank is, Mike, Crow and Tom tell him what happened and then he laments about Frank in song: ("Who will I kill?")
End: The 'Bots read their letters to Frank, who visits Dr. F. and pushes the button one last time...
Stinger: "Chief, I saw two corpses in the garden."