MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
THE UNOFFICIAL EPISODE GUIDE

SEASON SEVEN: 1995-1996


701(TD)- NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST
with short: "ONCE UPON A HONEYMOON"

First shown: 11/23/95
Opening: Happy Thanksgiving and did you see the game?
Intro: Dr. F.'s party continues with Mother Forrester providing the movie (and she thinks Crow is "Art")
Host segment 1: "Stuffing vs. Potatoes" -- a report by Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo
Host segment 2: Crow and Mother Forrester converse, with Crow trying to get her to press the secret button, but she won't because it's her son's wish to take over the world and she doesn't want to interfere with it
Host segment 3: Thanksgiving dinner on the SOL and in Deep 13 -- with Crow in Deep 13! In Deep 13, everyone gives thanks and Jack announces his engagement to Mr. B!
End: "What kind of pie do you want?" and Mother Forrester's "Turkey Surprise" is a hit in Deep 13
Stinger: "Wounded animal that large isn't good."

701- NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST
with short: "ONCE UPON A HONEYMOON"

First shown: 2/3/96
Opening: Crow and Tom are concerned about their personal security
Intro: Mrs. Forrester "insists" that her son have a trombone recital, but Crow is better
Host segment 1: "Decorating With Phones" -- a sketch based on the short
Host segment 2: Arm wrestling, and Mrs. F. getting Dr. F. to apologize for something he did in school...but Dr. F. doesn't know what
Host segment 3: Crow says that he is pregnant from the Blood Beast so that he'll get all the attention associated with pregnancy
End: Crow is now ranting about babies, interrupting Mike's attempts to read a couple of letters; Mrs. F. wants her son to act like a baby
Stinger: "Wounded animal that large isn't good."

702- THE BRUTE MAN
with short: "THE CHICKEN OF TOMORROW"

First shown: 2/10/96
Opening: Tom is buying a duplex in Philly!
Intro: Mrs. F. is going out for the evening and she says that Crow is in charge!
Host segment 1: Tom is inside an egg! (He wants to get the 'inside' info on how chicks develop.)
Host segment 2: Mike calls his old girlfriend to try to help them get down
Host segment 3: Crow tries to get Mike and Tom to help him sing "Hang down your head, Tom Dewey"
End: Letters, Tom is not a good landlord, and Dr. F. turns his mother's date into a chicken of tomorrow
Stinger: "Creepers, creepers, creepers! You give me the creeps!"

703- DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL

First shown: 2/17/96
Opening: Crow has a hair implant! (as well as calf and hinder implants)
Intro: Mrs. F. is sick and keeps calling for her son, and the SOL is a fast food restaurant
Host segment 1: Mike gets to go to a Ren-fest (and gets plucked like a spring chicken...)
Host segment 2: Mike just can't get enough of the Ren-fest and wants more
Host segment 3: Crow reads a trashy romance novel to Mrs. F.
End: Letter, Servo forging the "One Ring," and Dr. F. drinks the medicine for his mother (who is still sick)
Stinger: "Potatoes are what we eat."

704- THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN

First shown: 2/24/96
Opening: Playing a little hardball.
Intro: Someone bought Crow's screenplay for "Earth vs. Soup," with Dr. F. and his mom in charge of things
Host segment 1: Dr. F. and his mom come aboard the SOL for a script conference
Host segment 2: Shooting the film
Host segment 3: After viewing the movie, Dr. F. leads a focus group in a discussion about it
End: Crow is nervous, the movie is going to be released as a trailer!
Stinger: "Let's get the hell out of here!"

705- ESCAPE 2000

First shown: 3/2/96
Opening: Crow's annual auction to help the really good cause!
Intro: While Crow starts a fire on the SOL, Dr. F. puts his mother in a "home"
Host segment 1: Mike helps Crow try some bio-feedback
Host segment 2: Men's night on the SOL
Host segment 3: Dr. F. wants to do something to boost the ratings
End: Letter, Servo arrives by helicopter, and a laughing Toblerone visits Deep 13 and lets Mrs. F. out of the "home"
Stinger: "PTOO!" "HA, HA, HA!" sez Toblerone.

706- LASERBLAST

First shown: 5/18/96
Opening: With Mike all tied up, Crow and Tom present the "Thunderdome" joke
Intro: Dr. F.'s funding has been cut! He'll have to move in with his mother to save money, and cuts the SOL loose! To keep the SOL from burning up in the atmosphere, Tom somehow gets the thrusters working
Host segment 1: Hurtling into the inky blackness of space, the SOL picks up an annoying satellite called Monad
Host segment 2: The SOL hits a field of star babies! (and one of them needs changing!)
Host segment 3: The SOL is heading towards a black hole! The 'Bots hope that Mike can help them, but he's dressed as Captain Janeway and is almost totally useless!
End: The SOL reaches the edge of the universe! Once there, Mike and all the 'Bots shed their mortal bodies and become beings of pure energy! Meanwhile, Dr. F. is acting out the end of "2001: A Space Odyssey" (and Pearl gets a chance to start over with little star baby Clayton!)
------Fade out------
Stinger: "Faaar out!"