The Art of Chatspeak
By Camille (Me)

Have you ever been talking to a friend on IM, and wanted just them to understand and not your parent? Well, now there’s a way! Teenagers in this world have created a new way to talk and communicate with others; it is the art of Chatspeak. Chatspeak is one of those languages that is not very hard to learn. There are many different forms of Chatspeak and no definite rules, but once you get the hang of it, it can be very addicting (and annoying.)
There are thousands of different abbreviations for all sorts of words in the language of Chatspeak. Some of the most popular ones include, “Lol,” (Laugh Out Loud) “Rofl,” (Rolling On Floor Laughing) and “Lmao,” (Laughing My Butt Off), all meaning the same thing for the different levels of hilarity. Sometimes people like to use numbers instead of letters to get their point across. Hence, To/Too/Two, would be “2”; For/Four, would be “4”; etc. Also, whenever you hear “ate,” people tend to put an “8” instead. Such as, Great, would be “Gr8”; Skate, would be “Sk8”; etc. A few more examples and we’ll get on our way: “Wth” is “What the heck.”; “Oic” is “Oh, I see.”
Chatspeak has a bunch of different variations. There are the “1337” and “n00b” languages, among others. “1337” is slightly different, using mostly numbers and punctuation. Here is an example of a “1337” sentence: “|-||! \/\/|-|475 Y|_|0|- |\|4|\/|3?!?1!1!” (Ones are not typos) would translate to, “Hi! What’s your name?!” The language of “1337” is a very hard language to learn and understand, and takes an eternity to type out. The “n00b” language is somewhat easier to understand and type, but is also pretty out there. Example: “Lyk, png! Ju hab dat gyam 2?! Dood! We shud b lyk systerz!!!one!1shift!!” would translate to, “Like, oh my gosh! You have that game too?! Dude! We should be, like, sisters!” All or most of the ‘S’s are replaced with ‘Z’s and all the ‘I’s are replaced with ‘Y’s. Also, any ‘Th’s are replaced with ‘D’s. A very perky language mostly used by nine to thirteen year old girls and some boys.
There are a bunch of different types of people who use the Chatspeak language. All or most of them are extremely annoying to talk to and hard to understand. There’s the Compulsive, Advertiser, Abbreviator, Cusser, Perky One, and Labeler to name a few. The Advertiser is constantly asking people to rate their “Pic” or their (often made-up) description. Example of what one would say: “Hott Sessay blond chick, 16/f/calii w/pix!!! Guyz press 696969 to chatt!” Usually has a screen name consisting of “Sexxay,” “Blond,” or “Bootylicious.” The Abbreviator is pretty self explanatory. Example: “LOLOLOROFLMAO! Lyk png mah bf waz lyk ur nyce awweh!” Cusser (obviously) uses a lot of curse words. Every other word is usually a cuss word, and they seem to think it makes them look bad or rugged. One of their favorite words happens to be, politely put, the “F-word.” I’ll translate one of their sentences for you: “F*** you b****! I’ll f****** kick ur a** motherf*****!” The Perky One is always happy and uses lots of asterisks and tildes. Example: “LoLz! dis iz soooo KeWL! lolol! o ya my bf sez he luvs me! i waz lyk, AwWw u kno? g2g xoxo mwahz :*” Lastly, the Labeler. Most of them would claim to be “Punk” and hate “Preps.” Their screen name consists of lots of, “Punk,” “Anti,” and “Rawk.” Labeler’s speech: “I f****** hate u preps! ur all just jellous cuz us punks & goths dont all look alike! at least we dont wear stupid ANTIcrombie&fitch clothes!! soo f*** off!" That concludes the examples of the different types of people who use Chatspeak.
Chatspeak does (rarely) have its advantages, such as, sometimes not taking as long to type, but mostly, it is just annoying. Although it’s fascinating to research on how it came to be and how largely popular it has come to be, it is usually unnecessary and hard to read. I don’t understand why people can’t just type normally though. I think it is way easier to type regular and not use all those special characters. Chatspeak is one of the most diverse languages I have ever learned.

Teacher's Notes on my Essay:
Camille - First, your concern about this being a research paper... dismiss it. Your research into the rumblin bowels of AOL IM seems pretty vital (I'm glad you made it out more or less unharmed).
Your conclusion, though charming, is a little unexpected. What starts off sounding like a fvaorable press for chatspeak ends up calling the whole enterprise into question. I have never entered a chatroom - even by accident. And what you write here doesn't make me want to go there. Thanks for the education, though.

I also attached a note:
Normally I wouldn't even hint at any profanity in essays. This time though, I felt it was okay, kind of, since you wouldn't really be getting the full on effect on how people behave in AOL chatrooms and the like. Any other teacher I would have never even let glance at a paper as daring as the one attached to this note. But, somehow, you seem like the kind of teacher who would'nt focus on jus the hidden profanity, but at the paper as a whole and how well it's written and other such things. Also, I noticed that it turned out to be a lot like a research paper. Sorry.

Those were the things that were bothering me, that I had to get up and write this note ot you. If this paper is too bold, I'll go a little blander from now on.
Thanks,
Camille

His note on my note (xD):
This note caught my attention first. I haven't read the paper yet. your instincts seem right. Profanity has its places. I don't swear much as a person, but as a write I will occasionally create characters who, for one reason or another, swear profusely. I'll read the paper now. If I don't add more to this, then take that to mean that everything is okey-dokey.

Thanks for reading! Do NOT use this for any of your assignments. I wrote this all on my own for an essay we had to do English, though you can use it for information, as long as I'm credited clearly somewhere. Read rules first!