November 10, 2003 12:10:04 AM (EST)

Such a fool...

I let things get to me too easily. It's because over the years I've held so much hurt and pain in, that I can't help letting off-hand things get to me. And I've noticed, these things aren't as I initially thought them to be and I've been feeling like shit for nothing. I sobbed my eyes out last night, but that's a way to get it out and I had to in some way. Words weren't really an option yesterday so I let it build up into something I could barely control. And then after getting some sleep and finally able to see it rationally, I realized I was wrong. ::sighs:: I'll try to find something to bring up my mood, but even now I'm not feeling all that great.

Anyways, the only good point to yesterday was getting the 'Happy Mania' manga. Which is very amusing, despite some of the bad female drawings (the men are mostly damned fine! There was one or two that weren't all that great, but every manga has it's bad points. Some fewer then others). This girl was doing a different guy (most of the time, there was one guy she did a couple of times. ^_^) nearly every chapter. I was shocked when she didn't in one chapter. O.o... But basically, she's trying to get a full-time boyfriend. So she goes around and falls in love with some random guy, she sleeps with him, and he ends up being a jerk and she goes psycho. She even ends up getting stalked in one chapter... hee hee hee hee hee.. Very amused by that. In fact, I want to go read them again but I have to finish The Book of Air first...

Anyways, today I got up around 12, grabbed some food and then got online. I was invited to a chat with BV and HAX, where I was insulted right off the bat. -_-; But hey, HAX tries to insult people on a daily basis. Why, I don't know. That's why he's going to get his ass kicked into the ground whenever I see him again. Because there's no doubt in my mind, I'll see him again one day. That'll be the day I punch him as soon as I see him. ^_^ After awhile the chat died and I left my away message up until Hikaru-chan got on. I talked to her and Toby then for awhile before getting off and going downstairs. My parents were sleeping... (on their respective couch/chairs) so I decided to play with the cat until they did something.

About 4:30 we went out to dinner at Bob Evans. It wasn't all that great... (the food that is) desert was good... apple pie a la mode... though my parents were watching me while I ate it. Vultures... -_-; We then went home and to the shock of anyone reading this, I cleaned my room! ::key dramatic music:: I didn't clean it so everything was in it's in place, I did a general stuff things in places clean. It's presentable so I don't care about anything else. ^_^

Note to Hikaru-chan: I know you have to do your college thing sometime this week, so if you want to hold off on the sleepover until this weekend (if you don't have anything going then) that's fine with me. Dad's going to be gone for a week so it doesn't matter when you come over. ^_^

Ok... after cleaning my room, I watched a fairly amusing episode of 'Charmed'. (Though to say the truth I'm getting sick of the WB naming each episode something dumb and announcing it as if it were some sort of special or something. -_-) This one was where Piper became the 'Lady of the Lake' (the old one having been killed) and she comes into the possession of the Excalibur. She's corrupted by it and goes a tad bit crazy wanting to make her own Camelot, not realizing she was being fooled. Excalibur is taken from her by some evil guy and he tries to kill her son. (The actual owner of Excalibur) Bad guy is dispatched by baby.. -_-; and all is well. I mostly liked the sword play in the episode. They should do more of that. ^_^

After that, nothing much before getting on line and getting all this shit out. So that's all I need to say for now.

::glomps self:: Poor me… ::laughs:: Just kidding… I take things way too seriously at times, but I didn't today. I knew some assholes at the library were talking about me. But somehow… it really didn't bother me in the least. I don't know if it was because I was tired, half out of it, or what. But it makes me feel immensely better that I don't care what most people think of me.

Wanna go home now?