I'll begin by telling about the last couple of days... and then I'll sort of back track... I don't want to get straight down to the problem just yet...
Halloween started as any normal school day. I got up at the same bloody time. 6 in the morning... it's an evil hour... it goes without saying! I moaned and groaned for a minute, listening to my cat claw at the door, wanting inside. I finally got up and let him in. I then went about the mundane task of getting ready for school.
At school I went about my everyday work... copy shit... stapling shit... copying more shit... stapling more shit... it just never ends... then guess what.. more copying!! Ugh... then a movie... with some crazy person doing my hair... I like having people play with my hair... but this was just not funny...
Then after school... Hikaru and her mum picked us (me and another friend Sherry) up. We went to my house to pick up my stuff and then to hers. None of her evil family were there... thank god... :) So they had to get a lot of bobby pins out of my hair... Ugh...
We spent the time up until 7 playing video games and waiting for our friend Karen to arrive. Then we walked over to my adopted children's house... :) I give adopted child 2 (Nicole) her pony... adopted child 1 (Jesse) was jealous.. :) Then we walked back to Hikaru's... where we played some more video games until me and Karen left for a little bit.
We went to Karen's house to pick up her things so she could sleep over. Then we went over to Carrie's Halloween party. This is where my thoughts from earlier will be explained. We went in for like 10 minutes. We talked and played a rather quick game of charades. (Scary!) This is where a guy named Doug jumped on my lap... and when we left... I got a hug from him and his brother James. (I don't even know James that well.)
This made me go back to a idea that I've been having about myself for a long time. I make myself think I'm in love with some guys... when in fact... I may love them like maybe a brother... or something like that... I don't think I even know what love really is... I can't even say if there really is such a thing... maybe it's just that people are led around by their hormones... not ever really realizing that there is no such thing as love... I hate to have to say stuff like that... but it might be true... It just might be... I think the closest I ever got to something that might have been love was with my friend Josh.
Josh was a guy who went to school with me. I cared about him for awhile in middle school... where eventually we just grew apart because I switched classes. Then in 10th grade we started talking again. I knew a lot about him and his problems... I suspect that I'm one of the only people he told about what he was really thinking and doing... me and his best friend maybe... He was on drugs.. it really hurt me to see him doing that to himself... and I worried so much that he'd kill himself this way... or in some other way... even Hikaru had her worries... that he would go on a killing spree in school and I'd end up dead...
But that never happened... at the end of 10th grade he told me he was going to a different school... he told me it was so he could learn more about chemistry... I'll always wonder if it was because of the school questioning him about his drug problem... I told them about it when he told me that he had a freakout where he felt like killing his family... I couldn't let it keep going on as it was... keeping quiet about it. So I didn't see him again until the 2nd semester of 11th grade... I never really talked to him again... I was too scared to start... I was too afraid I'd loose him again... so I let it go... he went into home-schooling not to long after coming back... I haven't heard from him or about him since... but in my own way... I still care about him... I might always will... but I don't think I'll ever see him again... I'm just not like him...
But with Doug... In all actuality... I thought it was cute... that he would do something like that... maybe it was just the facade I have at school... maybe he just wanted to see what I'm like without it... I don't know... maybe my mind tends to analyze too much... that's why I'm still prattling on... but it helps... but I think I'm done with that for now... :)
We left and went back to Hikaru's. We played some more video games... we did that a lot... until we were tired of it and then went downstairs... where a long conversation with Hikaru's sister (sigh) went on and on... Sometimes I find it weird that she hangs around so much... I mean... she's going to be 21 and she still lives at home... she has a job and is going to graduate from college soon... I don't see why she sticks around... though... I don't think I'll try to understand her... I really won't... this went on even after Hikaru's mom came home (in a clown costume no less)... when she finally went away... then there was a short conversation with Hikaru's mom... then she went away... then we hung out for awhile... until Presea and I felt like we'd die without sleep... then went to bed...
Presea got up early and left us an evil note... I wonder why she'd want to kill us in our sleep... O.o... Anyway... Hikaru and I didn't get up until around 2 when her mom woke us... O.o... I wanted to sleep more... we didn't really do much though.. watched cartoons.. sat around.. nothing much ya know... :) then about 7:30... we went out to Blockbuster and Hollywood Video... got some more cartoons to watch... and then we got chinese food... Yum!!!!!
Got Pepper Steak... I love it!!! The onions are so big that I can pick them out... and there were yellow peppers too... it was so good!! I could go on... but I think I'll stop... :) (with the food that is)
I went home not too long after that... then I've been doing various things since... but mostly in front of this computer... :) Ugh... I'm so tired... I'll stop now... :) See ya!
Wow, a really long serious entry. How amazing! -_-