Not to mention I find myself quite lonely right now and wish I had someone to talk to... but alas... the only person on is Sherry and I doubt she wants to talk to me... Otherwise she would have IMed me already. I'm not pushing her away, and I still want to be her friend, but sometimes I just don't feel like hanging out with many people... I need my alone time. But right now I'd prefer someone to talk to... damn... and I don't feel like going into some random chat room and picking up a guy or two... O.o...
Damn... I feel like breaking down right now... I wish I knew what to do... and I feel so pressured by dad to do something... I remember what happened with Steve and it makes me think that he'll do the same to me. Forcing me to pay him until I get a job and move out.. or do meaningless work around the house until I'm finally ready to do something... anything... I don't like feeling this way... it sort of takes on a mind of it's on and makes me feel like I can't do it... like I'll be stuck here the rest of my life or that I'll take any job just to appease that fear... That's not what I want... but I'm afraid that may happen...
I need to stop thinking about this right now... I'm driving myself crazy and I don't need that on-top of everything else...
Deja vu… -_-