Dawson’s Creek Script Archives
514 – Guerilla Filmmaking

Transcribed by Chris Uecke
 
[Scene:  Joey and Audrey’s dorm room.  The room has been made up to be a set for a movie, and

Dawson is making Oliver’s film, with Audrey and Oliver staring.  Pacey is the boom mic operator]

Audrey:           I know who you are.

Oliver:            You only just met me.

Audrey:           I know you're a snake and a con artist. I know you've slept your way through the entire female student body and half the faculty. The kind of boy who'll break your heart and then start in on your sister

Oliver:            Ahh. You must be confused. Understandable. It's a common affliction among blondes.

Audrey:           Ugh.

Oliver:            Truth is, I'm none of those things.

Audrey:           Oh, yeah? Then who are you?

Oliver:            I'm just the boy that's gonna tear your soul apart.

[They kiss, and then Audrey pushes away.]

Audrey:           This is ridiculous. I can't do this.

Dawson:          Ah, cut. I guess.

Audrey:           Amateurs. I'm surrounded by amateurs. Dawson, will you just run with me here for a second. If I were a girl trying to seduce a boy-- and trust me, ok, I've been that girl many times-- I would never let him know how much I want him. Never. Ever. I mean, that's the exact moment when they lose interest. Sorry, it's just-- it's feeble writing.

Oliver:            Hey, hey. I'm right here.

Dawson:          We should've made the animated movie.

Jen:                 Woulda-coulda-shoulda. Hmm.

Dawson:          All right. Audrey... You gotta penetrate the subtext, ok? Remember, she knows that he knows that she knows what kind of man he is. All right? So if he knows that she knows and she knows that he knows... See what I’m getting at?

Audrey:           Yeah.

Dawson:          All right. Great. All right. Let's shoot the scene before we get old and die in our sleep. Ok. Back to one, people.

Pacey:             Oh, I'm sorry.

Dawson:          Ah, Pace, if you don't swing the microphone, you run less of a risk of dipping into my shot, which, I think, would detract from the overall reality of the picture.

Pacey:             Gotcha. It'll be perfect this time.

Dawson:          All right. Picture's up. Ok. We are rolling. Marker.

Jen:                 27 apple, take 3.

Dawson:          And... Action.

 

[Opening Credits]

 

[Scene:  Wilder’s class.  Professor Wilder is lecturing the class while Joey sits on listening to him.]

 

Wilder:            Overprotected remember, there is no distinction between writing a story and living your life. The same elements that make a moment in your life ignite, explode, move-- these same things make a scene in your writing have life. When a writer has evolved in their work, they've evolved as an individual. When the work is intense, it is because their life is intense. So the real question is, "what makes life intense?" Conflict. What is conflict? The essential conflict at the core of the artist? Uh, think of the movies you've seen, songs you've heard, books you've read. "To be or not to be." Bingo. In other words, your desires versus your ideals.  Your head, or your heart. Can somebody give me an example, using their own life, of a conflict between their desires and their ideals?

Joey:               I have an example.

Wilder:            Out with it then.

Joey:               Well, it's um... It's about a guy.

Wilder:            Ah, of course. Isn't it always?

Class:              [Laughs]

[bell rings]

Wilder:            oh, it's too bad. I was curious where your story was going. You'll have to share with us next week. "Same bat time. Same bat channel."

 

[Scene:  Outside on the campus grounds.  Professor Wilder is just leaving the building when Joey comes running up to join him.]

 

Joey:               We need to talk.

Wilder:            We do?

Joey:               Yes. That was uncomfortable.

Wilder:            No, that was creative writing. "Uncomfortable" is taught down the hall on the left.

Joey:               There should be a word for people who use sarcasm as a defense mechanism.

Wilder:            There is. Sarcastic.

Joey:               I'm serious.

Wilder:            Are you ok?

Joey:               I'm fine. I... I mean, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little weirded out by recent events.

Wilder:            I'm sorry, Joey. I'm a creep. I... I've robbed you of your innocence, haven't I?

Joey:               No, you're not a creep. And don't say you're sorry, it makes me feel--

Wilder:            cheap?

Joey:               No.

Wilder:            Dirty?

Joey:               No.

Wilder:            Ok, I'm gonna stop talking, because, obviously, there are some things you wanna say to me.

Joey:               Many things.

Wilder:            Ok... I can't promise I'll have all the answers. In fact, I can't promise I’ll have any answers, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

Joey:               Thank you.

Wilder:            Whenever you're ready.

Joey:               You know, it's kind of a lotta pressure, and I seem to be freezing up, so can I do this another time?

Wilder:            Absolutely.

 

[Scene:  The Civilization.  Pacey is alone in the kitchen making an omelet when Audrey comes into the kitchen.]

 

Audrey:           You slept here again last night, didn't you? Doesn't that, like, violate some sort of health code?

Pacey:             Good morning, Audrey. Now, I can only assume, since it's your day off, that you came down here for a little bit of playful banter and the opportunity to critique my personal hygiene. Which is sweet of you, but you really should have called first.

Audrey:           Can I have that omelet?

Pacey:             No.

Audrey:           We had plans, you know. You said you'd help me.

Pacey:             Uh, right. Refresh my memory, that was the breast exam, right?

Audrey:           No. Learning my lines for Dawson’s movie. We talked about this last night, remember?

Pacey:             Only vaguely. And to tell you the god's honest, Audrey, now is really not the best time for me.

[A girl comes into the kitchen]

Rina:               Good morning. What's for breakfast?

Pacey:             Audrey, I would like to introduce you to my good friend Gina.

Rina:               Excuse me? What? What's my name?

Pacey:             [Cough]-ina.

Rina:               My name is Rina. R-I-n-A.

Pacey:             Which is what I said, Rina. Didn't I say "Rina", Audrey?

Audrey:           You said "Gina."

Pacey:             Thank you.

[Rina storms out of the kitchen and grabs her coat.]

Pacey:             Oh, come on, sweetheart, don't leave angry. Or, if you must, at least don't drive angry.

Rina:               Have a nice life, Stacey!

[Rina storms out of the restaurant]

Pacey:             On second thought, the omelet’s yours.

 

[Scene:  The Frat House.  Jack comes out into the main room, where the rest of the frat is talking about plans for the day.]

 

Polar bear:      Jack.

Jack:               Morning. Ahem.

Eric:                How's it going, bro?

Polar bear:      We're hearing there's a kegger at the Kappa Mu Pi sorority. So those of you interested in getting some nooky this evening, we should meet back here at, let's say... 11:00? Break.

[They all leave, and only Eric and Jack remain]

Eric:                You ok?

Jack:               Yeah. I'm good.

Eric:                You know, they're trying to make it up to you, you know? Smooth things over.

Jack:               I know. I know.

Eric:                You just gotta let 'em back in.

Jack:               Sounds good in theory, but it's hard to forget that night. I mean, you guys totally bailed on me.

Eric:                You stepped over the line in a big way that night, jack.

Jack:               I know. I just... I feel like that moment that I could have gracefully apologized has kinda passed me by. [Softly] every time I’m around these guys I feel like an idiot.

Eric:                Well, stop stressing. You are an idiot. Hmm?

Jack:               [Laughs]

 

[Scene:  Grams’ Attic.  Dawson is sitting down working on his laptop editing some of the clips they have already shot, when Jen comes upstairs.]

 

Audrey:           I know you're a snake and a con artist. I know you've slept your way through the entire female student body and almost half the faculty. The kind of boy who'll break your heart and then start in on your sister.

[Turns Video off]

Jen:                 good morning, sunshine.

Dawson:          It's overcast and grey.

Jen:                 Hmm hmm hmm there, that's the spirit.

Dawson:          A week ago, I saw it very clearly. Now I look at it, and all I see are these huge, nightmarish obstacles. It's like, the movie's disappeared, just gotten lost somewhere along the way. I don't know. Or, maybe I have.

Jen:                 It can't be that bad, can it?

Dawson:          [Laughs] not that bad? Ok, the ending doesn't work, but we have less than 12 hours to rewrite it because the lights they were gonna use for that particular sequence we only have rented until tomorrow morning. [Laughs] but the real punch line is, all of this pales in comparison to the real problem.

Jen:                 Ok. What's the real problem?

Dawson:          The real problem is that Oliver is without a doubt, the most pathetic excuse for a thespian that's ever been. [Sighs] ow! Jack and grams have more sexual chemistry than these two.

[Oliver comes upstairs]

Oliver:            Hello, people. [Dawson and Jen are staring at them]  What? What did I miss?

Dawson:          Have a seat, skipper. It's time for us to think about what's best for the movie.

Oliver:            I don't follow.

Dawson:          Having watched some of the footage, it's occurred to me... It's possible you're not the right actor for this particular role.

Oliver:            Hmm. Well, I'm thinking you're wrong. But on the other hand, you are the director, and if this behemoth has a prayer of getting done, it's gonna be because the final decision on everything, including the casting, came from you.

Dawson:          Really? You're ok with this?

Oliver:            On the flipside, we have to recast the part today if we're gonna shoot the finale tonight. Where are we gonna find an actor who fits the bill, you know? Somebody's who's... Sexy, charismatic and attractive. And not burdened with a soul.

Dawson:          Exactly. Where we gonna find a guy like that in 6 hours?

Jen:                 [Laughs] I used to date him.

Dawson:          That's not a bad idea.

Jen:                 Oh, yes it is. It's a terrible idea. And you would never make me do that, would you, Dawson?

 

[Scene:  Outside Charlie’s Dorm room.  Jen is getting up the strength to knock on the door.]

 

Jen:                 [Groan]

Charlie:           [laughs] Jen Lindley. How ya been?

Jen:                 Busy. Just trying to wrap my head around this whole "lemon diet coke" phenomenon.

Charlie:           I knew it. I knew you could never live without me.

Jen:                 Hmm. Oh, on the contrary, I actually plan to spend the rest of my life living without you, Charlie, but... I need a favor.

Charlie:           A favor? Now why on earth would I do you a favor?

Jen:                 You get to make out with a really hot girl.

Charlie:           Ok. Step into my office

 

[Commercial Break]

 

[Scene:  Joey and Audrey’s Dorm room.  Audrey is in the room pacing when Joey comes storming into the room.]

 

Joey:               The guy is unbelievable.

Audrey:           I know. He couldn't even remember her first name. Not her last name-- her last name I might understand. I've slept with some guys whose last names have escaped me the morning after, but her first name?

Joey:               Who?

Audrey:           What? Wait... Who are you talking about?

Joey:               Wilder.

Audrey:           Right. Wilder. Unbelievable.

Joey:               So I’m standing there, completely ready to say everything I never said, and then he pulls this Jedi-mind-trick, and suddenly, I can't even remember who I am.

Audrey:           You're Joey potter.

Joey:               And I refuse to become another one of his groupies. You know, completely infatuated with the guy and reduced to a babbling idiot at the mere mention of his name.

Audrey:           May I, um... Be brutally honest?

Joey:               Like you've ever been anything but?

Audrey:           You are completely infatuated with him, and you have been reduced to a babbling idiot at the mere mention of his name. But I'm not so sure that's a bad thing.

Joey:               How could it not be a bad thing, Audrey? Once upon a time, I had this... Amazing mentor. Someone who believed in me and respected me and we were friends. Good friends. And, you know, whenever you would allude to some lurid affair between teacher and student, I would just dismiss it.

Audrey:           Well, the lady doth protest too much.

Joey:               I have to drop his class. I mean, should I drop his class? I don't know.

Audrey:           Are you asking for my advice, or are you just having a soliloquy here?

Joey:               What's the alternative? I spend the rest of the year angsting over some guy I can't be with? I mean, I've been there. It's excruciating.

Audrey:           Bunny... Breathe. Ask yourself something, when was the last time you felt as completely and totally alive as you do right now?

[Both laugh]

Joey:               who were you talking about?

[Groans]

 

[Scene:  The frat house.  Jack is in the kitchen getting something to drink, when Eric comes into the kitchen.]

 

Eric:                Yo.

Jack:               Hey. Thought you were going with the other guys to the athletic center? Pick up on the gymnastics team? You know, teenage girls slamming their pelvises into the uneven bars at 80-miles-an-hour. I think that'd be right up your alley.

Eric:                No, I had work to do, so I figured I’d get started with putting it off.

Jack:               [Laughs] yeah. Procrastination... It's the only skill we ever learn in college.

Eric:                Ain't it a little early in the day to start knocking 'em back?

Jack:               Only if you're doing it alone. Besides, you and I have some unfinished business.

Eric:                Oh, do we?

Jack:               Yes, we do. Madden 2002.

Eric:                Ohhhh.

Jack:               Yeah, your patriots kicked my bears into a different time zone last time they met, and I think we're ready for some revenge.

Eric:                All right. Well, then get set for some disappointment, because we're gonna kick your ass some more.

Jack:               [Laughs] no, no. I don't think so

 

[Scene:  Grams’ house.  Charlie is auditioning for the movie, with Jen reading lines with him.  Oliver and Dawson are watching on.]

 

Jen:                 "you're falling in love with me."

Charlie:           "I can't say you're lacking for confidence."

Jen:                 "That's not true." Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. "Doesn't change the fact that you're falling in love with me."

Charlie:           "Now how can you be so sure? "I mean, how do you know I’m not gonna just use you up "and throw you out. That's what I’ve always done."

Jen:                 "You can sleep with..." Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah-- "not even you."

Charlie:           "I didn't know. I've never wanted anything like this before."

Jen:                 Uh... "Neither have I."

[Charlie goes to kiss her.]

Jen:                 A world of pain. Charlie, one step closer, and you're entering a world of pain.

Charlie:           You know, Dawson, buddy, it's difficult to really become the character here when she is not giving me anything to work with.

Jen:                 Acting tip: It's called using your imagination.

Dawson:          Ok. You know, I've seen enough. So, ah, Jen... Sweetheart. Um, Charlie, would you mind just... Stepping in the other room for a second.

Charlie:           Yeah.

Oliver:            So is this gonna be awkward for you, your girlfriend's ex starring in our flick?

Dawson:          I'm running out of options here.

Oliver:            I gotta say... He's pretty decent. I mean... If you're going for the brutally handsome, rippling abs, Tony Scott-version of me, he's about as good as we're gonna get, right?

Dawson:          Right. Yeah. Ok, so we use him.

Oliver:            Yes. Problem solved.

Dawson:          Ok. Now all I have to do is overhaul the ending and we might get this done.

Oliver:            [Laughs] heavens to Betsy. First, you take away my starring role, and now you want to rewrite my ending?

Dawson:          It doesn't make sense.

Oliver:            Actually, it's friggin' brilliant. First, she breaks up with him, breaks his heart, then he blow her away with a .22. Poetic justice.

Dawson:          I used to think it was great. It was perfect. But... Having seen the footage-- yada, yada, yada.

[Charlie comes back to join them]

Charlie:           So... Did I get the part, or what?

Dawson:          Well, that depends. Can you learn your lines in 3 hours?

Oliver:            Uh, better make that 2.

Dawson:          Hmm. All right.

 

[Scene:  Jack and Eric’s Room.  They have just finished playing a game, and are still sitting on the floor in front of the TV.]

 

Eric:                All my dudes, they go to these parties every night looking for their next girlfriend. And for what? Huh? So they can have some chick who's gonna bitch and moan at 'em in the morning? You know, and make them watch Notting Hill over and over again? No. Forget that. They can keep their keg.

[Both laugh]

Jack:               I liked Notting hill.

[Both laugh]

Eric:                dude.

Jack:               Yeah?

Eric:                What was it like when you realized you were gay?

Jack:               Well, it wasn't like that, you know? It wasn't like I woke up one morning from a especially nasty dream about Robert Downey jr. And I said to myself, "hey, I must be gay." Well, what was it like? [Sighs] well, you know... So many people just... They spend so much of their lives just locked up in this cage inside themselves. And they never even know that they have the key all along. That's how it was for me. I can't tell you when I first realized it, you know. I don't know. At some level, I think I've always known it. Probably just like you've always known you're straight. It wasn't about realizing that I was gay, it was about realizing that it was all right.

Eric:                You're an amazing guy, jack. You know that? You really are. [Sighs] you're the kind of guy that I wanna be.

[Eric leans in like he is going to kiss Jack.]

Jack:               Um... Do you, uh... Do you wanna watch some more TV? I, uh...I-I-I think the world's most horrifying bungee-accidents is on.

Eric:                Um... No, I have work to do.

Jack:               Come on, man. You're not gonna-- you're not gonna do it now.

Eric:                Yeah. I have to. Ok? I'm--I’m--I'm gonna go. Ok?

Jack:               Yeah, I'll see ya.

 

[Scene:  Wilder’s House.  He is sitting at his desk working on his laptop, when he looks out the window and sees Joey pacing back and forth on the sidewalk.]

 

Wilder:            Hey. You selling girl scout cookies? Do you have any of the coconut ones with the chocolate and the caramel? I love those.

Joey:               Actually, I figured out what I want to say.

Wilder:            Excellent. I'll alert the media.

Joey:               Do you think it'd be possible to lose the obnoxious glib for 5 seconds?

Wilder:            Yes. Yes, of course. It is possible. Sure. I'm sorry. Go ahead.

Joey:               Uh... I want to say... I'm sorry you kissed me.

Wilder:            Oh, my god, Joey, I can't even begin to apologize about that.

Joey:               I'm not here for an apology. I didn't want one that night, I don't want one now. Well...In a minute, I'm going to walk over there to where you are and, um, I'm gonna shake your hand in a very masculine way. We're gonna have this little silent understanding and then I’m just gonna turn around and walk away.

Wilder:            What about my class?

Joey:               Uh, I don't think I can be a part of it, not now.

Wilder:            Well, no great loss there.

Joey:               You know what? Screw you.

Wilder:            Clever, Joey. No. What I meant was you're gonna do great... With or without my workshop.

Joey:               Oh. That's what you meant.

Wilder:            Joey, you've got it. The gift. The touch. Whatever you want to call it. I don’t. You do. It's a binary distinction. So all the washed up hacks turned English professors can wax poetic until the cows come home. In the end... Your talents and your instincts are the only things that really matter.

Joey:               You know, you're really annoying. 'Cause every time I’m ready to do the smart, sensible thing, you go and you say something that makes me...

Wilder:            Makes you what?

Joey:               Not want to go away.

 

[Scene:  Audrey and Joey’s Dorm room.  Pacey is lying down on Audrey’s bed holding a script in his hands, while Audrey paces and it rehearsing.]

 

Audrey:           Ok. So, let's do it one more time, but this time, I'm not just gonna say the lines, I'm really gonna act them.

Pacey:             You warning me?

Audrey:           No. I just want you to pay attention so you can give me some notes.

Pacey:             Ok. Well, I'm ready.

Audrey:           Just give me a minute, ok, will ya? [] Bring it! Bring it! Bring it on! Bring it! Whew. []You're not so tough, you know.

Pacey:             Uh, "well, I picked the lock to get in here. That's pretty tough."

Audrey:           You're falling in love with me.

Pacey:             "I can't say you're lacking for confidence."

Audrey:           No. That's not true. I am lacking. I'm very insecure... But that doesn't change the fact that you're falling in love with me.

Pacey:             Uh... "How can you be so sure? "How do you know I’m not just gonna use you up "and throw you away? It's what I’ve always done."

Audrey:           You can sleep with all the right girls and take all the right drugs, but in the end... You'll still be alone. It doesn't matter what anybody says, gage. Nobody wants to be alone. Not even you.

[They begin kissing and making out, when Audrey stops.]

Audrey:           Wait! Wait! I'm not gonna do this!

Pacey:             Uh, well, no, of course not. Me, neither.

Audrey:           Because... Because it would be wrong.

Pacey:             Well, it's obviously wrong. That's why we stopped.

Audrey:           So... So... [Sighs] do you have any notes?

 

[Commercial Break]

 

[Scene:  The movie set.  Audrey and Charlie are doing their parts, while Jen, Dawson and Oliver watch on and Pacey hold the boom mic.]

 

Audrey:           Cut. Cut.

Dawson:          Cut.

Audrey:           I'm sorry, ok? It's just that my co-star Charlie sheen over here, is ramming his tongue down my throat. Hey, I feel like he's looking for my diaphragm.

Charlie:           Foiled again.

Dawson:          Ok, we're gonna take it from, uh, just before the kiss. All right? And, uh, pace? I see the boom dip in and out of my frame, I begin to forget our friendship.

Pacey:             Ok.

Dawson:          All right. Picture's up. And marker.

Oliver:            14 baker, take 12.

Dawson:          And...Action.

Charlie:           I didn't... I never wanted any...

Audrey:           I'm sorry. Can we do that different?

Charlie:           It just kind of got away from me.

Dawson:          Still rolling. Whenever you're ready.

Audrey:           I didn't know. I never wanted anything like this before.

Charlie:           Neither have I. Line.

Jen:                 "I'm afraid of falling."

Charlie:           I'm afraid of-- would gage really say--

Audrey:           for the love of god, just say it.

Charlie:           I'm afraid of falling.

Audrey:           Don't worry. I'll catch you.

Dawson:          And cut.

[Audrey slaps Charlie upside the head]

Charlie:           Ow. Ow! She hit me on the ear.

Audrey:           I'm sorry. I can't work like this, ok? It's completely unprofessional. And it's just-- [Turns to Pacey]it's too intense with you standing right there next to me. You're a terrible boom operator.

 

[Scene:  inside Wilder’s House.  Joey and Prof. Wilder are sitting on the couch talking.]

 

Joey:               Do you remember that uncomfortable vibe you were sensing in class this morning?

Wilder:            Yes. It's a good thing we dealt with it.

Joey:               Yeah. It's a good thing, because now the 2 of us alone in your house-- I'm so relieved that there's no awkward tension. We can just relax.

Wilder:            Yeah, yeah. I've never been this relaxed. I--I might fall asleep.

Joey:               We're being sarcastic.

Wilder:            Look, Joey, the thing is-- the thing I wanted to say to you is I-- I can't afford to lose my job.

Joey:               That's the last thing that I want.

Wilder:            But it's important to me that you know that what happened between us-- I've never done anything like that before.

Joey:               I know.

Wilder:            You know, Joey potter, I-- I don't think I’ve ever met anyone like you.

Joey:               That's what all boys say.

Wilder:            Yeah? Well, they're right.

Joey:               I was being sarcastic again. Wanna hear my example?

Wilder:            Hmm?

Joey:               My example of an internal conflict between my ideals and desires.

Wilder:            Are you sure you don't wanna save it for class?

Joey:               I think I wanna run it by you first.

Wilder:            Fair enough.

[They lean close and closer almost ready to kiss.]

[Cell phone vibrating]

Wilder:            you're vibrating.

Joey:               Excuse me. [She answers the phone]Hello? Hi. What's going on? Right now? Yeah. I'll be right there. I have to go.

Wilder:            Ok.

Joey:               Sorry.

Wilder:            Don't be.

Joey:               Bye.

[She leaves, but comes back in shortly and kisses him before leaving again.]

 

[Scene:  Jack’s room.  Two Frat members come into the room, where he is sitting down reading.]

 

[Knock on door]

Polar Bear:     Eric told us what happened.

Jack:               What are you guys talking about?

Polar Bear:     Eric told us you tried to kiss him.

Jack:               You can't be serious. Oh, my god, you are.

Blossom:         Please don't waste everyone's time scrambling to deny it. It's better if you just admit the truth.

Jack:               You're right.

Blossom:         Thank you.

Jack:               'Cause, you know, I was just nancying around my room in my thigh-highs, and I thought to myself, "I’m gonna lay a wet one on an unsuspecting fraternity brother, "because that's probably a great way to smooth things over with the house."

Polar Bear:     Jack...

Jack:               If you guys imagine just for a second that I would--could ever in a million years do anything like that to any one of you guys, then I guess you guys never knew me at all.

Blossom:         Wait a minute. You want us to believe that Eric, like, fabricated this whole thing?

Jack:                [Scoffs] no. What I’m saying is that I don't care, because it wouldn't matter if I did. You guys have already made up your minds. You know what? So have I. I'm moving out of the house tonight and I'm not coming back.

Polar Bear:     That's not what we want, jack.

Jack:               Well, with all due respect, my brothers, get out.

 

[Scene:  The movie set.  Dawson is sitting kind of going nuts, when Pacey comes over to talk to him.]

 

Pacey:             So, Dawson, let's say that-- hypothetically speaking-- I might have some insight into why your ingénue is so exasperated today. And let's also say that--hypothetically speaking-- I might be mildly culpable for her exasperation. Which really isn't that important, actually, I'm sure it's nothing, so forget I mentioned it.

Dawson:          Pacey, my patience is wearing just a little bit thin.

Pacey:             Ok, well, uh, here's the thing. I kissed her.

Dawson:          You idiot. Didn't anybody ever tell you the first rule of the universe?

Pacey:             Uh, yeah. That energy is conserved.

Dawson:          First rule of the universe is never get involved with an actress.

Pacey:             Help. It's trying to think.

Charlie:           Look, I just wanted to offer a few ideas... Particularly in the way of my character.

Jen:                 Are you seriously gonna give me a reason to slap the silly out of you?! Hey. Hey. Come on, slim. Come on! 'Cause I’m feelin' a little bit crazy today!

Dawson:          A little deep breath.

Charlie:           She's got moxie, that one.

Jen:                 That is not-- who says moxie? [Softly] I'm sorry.

Dawson:          Quiet thoughts. Good thoughts.

Jen:                 I'm ok.

[Joey comes up to them]

Joey:               Hey, guys.

Dawson:          Joey. Not a moment too soon. Uh, take Pacey by force, if necessary, and extract Audrey from the bathroom.

Joey:               All right.

Dawson:          Oliver... Take Charlie, find a cozy little corner, and nod vaguely while he gives you his notes. Uh, Jen. Sweetheart, I don't want you to have an embolism.

Jen:                 Dawson, he's evil. Isn't it entirely possible that he is the antichrist, packed into the body of a handsome musician?

Dawson:          I need you to do me a big favor.

Jen:                 You want me to kill him.

Dawson:          I need you to go home. Right now. Just-- just gather your stuff and leave. It's the only way I’m gonna get this done.

Jen:                 But who would do the clappy thing?

Dawson:          We'll manage.

 

[Scene:  Outside the bathroom.  Joey and Pacey stop outside the door, where you can hear crying coming from inside.]

 

Joey:               Pace, why did Dawson insist you come along on this mission? Did something happen between you and Audrey?

Pacey:             No. No. Of course not. Because if something happened between me and Audrey, it would be a horrible, terrible, awful thing, right?

Joey:               Pacey, you're an idiot.

Pacey:             Ok. If one more person calls me an idiot, I'm really gonna start feeling bad about myself.

Joey:               Don't you think I'd prefer you hooking up with someone amazing like Audrey rather than some random ditz who's name you can't even remember in the morning?

Pacey:             I can remember her name.

[Joey knocks on the door]

Audrey:           Go away. Severe flooding. Out of order.

Joey:               Audrey, it's me. I'm with Pacey. We're coming in.

Pacey:             What do you mean? I can't go in there. That's the ladies room.

[She grabs his ear, and pulls him in with her.]

Pacey:             Joe--ow, ow, ow.

[Sniffling]

Joey:               Audrey, you look great in that dress.

Audrey:           Really? No. Forget it. I don't deserve to talk to you. I don't even deserve to be in the same lavatory as you.

Joey:               Why, because you kissed Pacey?

Audrey:           What? You told her? How could you? Amateur.

Joey:               Audrey, Pacey didn't tell me. I intuited.

Audrey:           That's amazing, Joey. You're very intelligent. Next stop, rocket science.

Joey:               I'm not upset.

Audrey:           Well, you should be. Our friendship is like the special-est thing that I’ve found since I came here. And what do I do? I step on it. I betray you. Why? Because I am weak when it comes to men.

Joey:               You're not. Ok... Maybe you are weak. But kissing Pacey is not weak. In fact, it could be the smartest thing either one of you has done for a long time.

Audrey:           Really? You think?

Joey:               I love you. [To Audrey, then turns to Pacey.] I love you. I love you both in the best, simplest way, and all I care about is that you guys are happy.

Audrey:           You're like... Giving us permission?

Joey:               You don't need my permission. I'm giving you my blessing... For what it's worth.

 

[Scene:  The Frat house.  Jack is carrying his bag towards the door, and notices Eric, and stops before opening the door to leave and addresses him without even turning to look at him.]

 

Jack:               I want you to listen to me closely, because you're never gonna get anything like this again. You know the truth. You know what really happened in that room and what didn't, and you're gonna have to live with that. And believe me when I tell you, Eric... You've got some serious issues to deal with, and you need some serious help. I really hope you find it.

 

[commercial break]

 

[Scene:  The movie set.  Dawson is sitting down alone, when Joey comes walking up to him.]

 

Joey:               this is kind of beautiful.

Dawson:          She says, as she exits camera right.

Joey:               So if there are no further crises you need me to bail you out of--

Dawson:          not unless you can fix the ending.

Joey:               What's wrong with the ending?

Dawson:          I'm not even really sure that it's wrong. I'm just...

Joey:               unsure?

Dawson:          Yeah.

Joey:               Well, it's a love story, right?

Dawson:          Uh-huh.

Joey:               So do they end up happily ever after or not so much?

Dawson:          Not so much. He kills her.

Joey:               Oh. A little depressing. A little cynical for the Dawson I know.

Dawson:          Apparently, I'm in my dark period.

Joey:               If that's really true, why are you so reluctant to film it?

Dawson:          'Cause part of me wishes I could still be that embarrassing, romantic kid. You know, the one who believed with such conviction in the gospel according to Spielberg. You know, I'm having trouble mustering anything resembling sentimentality or corn or... for lack of a better word, hope.

Joey:               I was at the bus station one time and someone had written these words on a bench: "Hope dies last." I always loved it. I think you're waiting for a sign.

Dawson:             I've been waiting. I'm freezing my ass off out here.

Joey:               Did it ever occur to you, Dawson leery, that maybe I'm the sign you're waiting for? It's gonna be ok... for all of us.

 

[Scene:  The bus stop.  Jen comes walking down the street, when she notices Jack sitting along at night at the bus stop.  Jen goes over and sits down next to him.]

 

Jack:               You alone?

Jen:                 No. I got the Vienna boys choir with me.

Jack:                [Sighs] Can we put the biting sarcasm to rest?

Jen:                 You waiting for a bus?

Jack:               Nope. I'm just sitting here being cold.

Jen:                  [Sighs] What's happened to you?

Jack:                [Coughs] Oh, it's hard to say. I seem to remember the two of us hanging out in front of that coffee stand at the beginning of the year. Then "dumb guy with a dream" comes up and invites us to a fraternity party. Everything after that's kind of a blur. Jen, can I ask you a question?

Jen:                 You can ask me a question.

Jack:               Did you like Notting hill?

Jen:                 Are you kidding? I love that movie.

Jack:                [Sighs]

Jen:                  [Laughs]

 

[Scene:  The movie set.  Oliver comes over to Dawson while the others are in position.  He points to the script he is carrying.]

 

Oliver:            You're right. The ending sucks.

[Dawson looks at him, then has an idea.  HE grabs the script and goes over to talk to Audrey.]

Dawson:          Audrey. Hey. All right. Ok. Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna cut all this. We're just not gonna do it, ok? We're gonna keep this, we're gonna keep that, and we're gonna forget all about this. And we're gonna end it with that. Now when you do it, forget everything you've done up until this point. This is the moment where she lets down her defenses. It's not dry, it's not sardonic, it's just honest and it's vulnerable. Now, when you do it... [Whispering]

Audrey:           But doesn't that completely--

Dawson:          shoot first, ask questions later.

Audrey:           Ok.

Dawson:          Frank, you ready?

Frank:             Ok.

Dawson:          Ok. We're gonna do this. And we're gonna do it in one shot. Think Orson Welles, touch of evil. Everybody knows where they are. Everybody knows exactly what they have to do. Let's be the ball, people. Picture's up. [Laughs] Rolling.

Oliver:            Scene 32, take 1.

[Dawson laughing]

Oliver:            What?

Dawson:          And...action!

Charlie:           You ruined my life. You wrecked me!

[Charlie takes a gun from the back of his pants, and ends up placing it in his front pocket as he notices Audrey changing the script.]

Audrey:           I know... and I'm sorry. I did a bad thing. I've done a lot of bad things in my life. I didn't have a choice. I had to do it, because it was all part of the trip. The journey... to this place, this moment, with you. The thing about life? You can't lose and you can't win... but you've got to try.

Charlie:           How do you--

Audrey:           don't speak.

Charlie:           But--

Audrey:           don't speak.

[Audrey takes Charlie’s hand and looks up as it starts to snow, and walks off into the dark together.]

Dawson:           [Laughs] Fade out.

 

[Scene:  The parking lot.  Pacey and Audrey go walking towards Pacey’s car.]

 

Pacey:             So, listen, I think I should probably apologize for what happened earlier up in your room. My mind just took a brief vacation to the Bahamas. I don't really know what came over me.

Audrey:           Yeah, um, me neither. It must have been the method. I've been watching a lot of James Lipton lately.

Pacey:             Yeah. That must be it, because, you know, now that we have her permission, the feeling is just--

Audrey:           nope. You're not my type. []You're not my type. []

Pacey:             You already said that.

Audrey:           I know. I'm just... convincing myself.

[They kiss]

Pacey:             Well, how's that going for ya?

Audrey:           No, not so good.

[They kiss again]

Pacey:             Not so good?

Audrey:           Uh-uh. Ok, I'm go-- I'm going home. Right now.

Pacey:             Good night.

Audrey:           Of course... I don't have a car, so... I'm gonna have to walk home.

[They kiss again]

Pacey:             Well, no. We can't have that. You know, you were amazing out there tonight.

Audrey:           Was I?

Pacey:             Yes, you were. And then, of course, there's that-- that thing that you do.  How do you do that thing?

Audrey:           What thing?

Pacey:             You smile and the whole world lights up.

Audrey:           Acting.

Pacey:             Hmm.

Audrey:           Beats the hell outta work.

[Scene:  The sidewalk along a side street.  Joey comes walking up and sees a Sign with a Large “T” in a large circle.  She begins making a snowball]

Joey:               2-to-3 is the count. Bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, Sammy....something is up to bat. Potter's one last shot at immortality. The windup, the pitch. [She nails the center of the circle] Yaaah! And the crowd goes wild!