14 Commandments of the Religious Left
These are totally priceless - and SO true, if you're a member of the religious left (which I most definitely AM NOT). Personally, I'd have added a few which I think he left out but these are Rush's, not mine.
Actually, being a conservative Republican and practicing Catholic, they make me sick!
* Thou shalt have no other God except thyself; after all, it's thy self-esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thyself, who will?
* Thou shalt not make any graven image out of any substances which cannot be recycled.
* Thou shalt not take the name of liberals in criticism, including feminists, racial minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim of America.
* Remember the anniversaries of Roe vs Wade and Anita hill's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and keep them holy.
* Honor thy mother. If she is dysfunctional, it is thy father's fault.
* Thou shalt not kill; with these exceptions: life forms under the second trimester, and those opting for medically assisted suicides.
* Thou shalt not commit adultery; unless thou aspirest to high political office, useth a condom, or cannot help it.
* Thou shalt not steal; unless thou art disadvantaged or upset with a jury verdict.
* Thou shalt not bear false witness; unless thou art discussing the history of the 1980's, art campaigning, or can afford good legal counsel in the event that thou art discovered.
* Thou shalt not covet; unless thou art the victim of gender-related oppression or institutional racism, or art still angry with Reagan's tax cuts.
* Always hide the real truth about thyself.
* Never admit who or what thou really art when campaigning for office.
* Always blame someone else for what thou doest - even so far as to blame the entire society.
* Thou shalt oppose all punishment; except when conservative Republicans or religious-right people criticize thee.
