Some Dysecdysis feedbackFrom: "Sulfuric Angel" Karmen,
Around an hour ago I started reading Dysecdysis and I have to tell you I was hooked from beginning to end. I particularly enjoyed the hypertext version, since it really gave the experience a realistic, satisfying sense.
I thought this was a heart-breaking and beautiful story. Really inspiring. I like how you perceive Garak in this, a victim rather than a predator, without losing something of his true nature.
It moved me and left an odd impression with me I can't really shake or describe. Only that it was an absolutely satisfying read.
Thanks.
Sophie
Date: Mon, 09 Apr 2001 13:39:51 -0600
From: "Mark Stanley" Dysecdysis really deserved the Best Garak/Bashir ASC award. Fabulous job!
Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 11:39:37 -0800
To: "Karmen Ghia" Hey Karmen,
I had some *actual feedback* about this story that I wanted to share with you. First, in answer to your question, I read the hypertext version - actually, what I did was read through the text of the letter and then I went back and followed each of the links. I really enjoyed doing it that way, as it satisfied my need to race through to the end but also allowed me to go back and savor the characters and the plot details. There was some amazing writing in here - some examples of things I loved:
>I had concluded that, though they were uninteresting to me >personally because of their inherent dullness, arrogance and >extremely low psi rating, they were not a bad species as long as you >don't startle them.
>His stick-like legs shot out from the hem, careening into bony feet >moving silently around the treatment table.
>'But you won't come back. You'll want to but you never will and >eventually you'll forget I'm here,' Garak thought realistically but >merely said, "Thank you."
>Djerian ignored him. This human was so young, so new, it surprised >the Pholana that he was let out without his wet nurse. 'All the way >out here, little one, and have you never seen an empath healer? >Pathetic.' Djerian scowled down at Garak, wondering if the Cardie >was aware of the Bashir's sexual curiosity. Damn ThiaZole to leave >out the most interesting detail of the whole situation. He rose and >took a bottle of oil from his bag. Noting the human's startled jump, >the healer asked him what was wrong. > >"You move so fast," Bashir stammered. "It startled me." > >"Child, child, child," Djerian soothed. "And that was really >nothing. I'm a healer, not a hunter. Now the hunters, they move very >fast indeed."
This whole exchange was great. Julian really is about 12 years old, isn't he?
>But that was and always was ThiaZole: cold as ice until he burst into flames.
>"Oh? I'm almost done here." He was in fact just stuffing the last of >Garak's shed into the recycler. 'I hope he didn't want that,' he >thought idly. 'Too late now.'
What a great touch.
>"Let's just say your species makes interesting prey for the >hunters," Djerian said calmly, unreadable as ThiaZole behind his >dark glasses. "And turns everyone else's stomachs." He looked over >their shoulders at Odo coming to join them. "And a shapeshifter! My >goodness, you have a whole menagerie here, Mr. Crisco."
Hee hee. Crisco.
>Garak was so amused by the emotions, lust and compassion, at war in >his new lover, he thought he'd die of suppressed laughter.
>Hullo, ThiaZole, long time. Garak bagged Dr. Bashir while you were >gone," Quark leaned over the bar to tell him.
Go Quark! Never one to mince words.
It's been about three years since I watched any DS9 - how much of your story is canon? I wasn't sure if any of the aliens were original creations or not. I was totally drawn into the backstory of ThiaZole and wanted much more than the glimpse you gave us here. I was hoping for a link to a section on Kira's interaction with TZ, too. As always, you got Garak's voice just right.
And I LOVE Djerian - definitely my new favorite character! I really dig aliens who look down their noses at other species, esp. humans.
One minor suggestion: While it was refreshing not to have to squint to read the text, I think I'd prefer it one font size smaller - it was distracting to have to keep scrolling down when I'd read a few lines. There were also a few punctuation things I'd change, but nothing that was confusing. The hyperlinks worked perfectly.
Anyway, I am really looking forward to more in this universe....
your fan,
L. --
Date: Sun, 04 Mar 2001 13:25:29 +0900
To: karmen_ghia@yahoo.com
From: "Moriva" At 09:14 2/03/01 -0800, you wrote: >Dear Moriva, > >Thank you for your votes and comments on my stuff on >the ASC awards. I was very touched and pleased, not >something that happens very often around here.
You're very welcome. :) I've also just voted 'The Invitation' my fave S/m of the year at ASCEM, and a clutch of your Chekov stories won my vote in whatever the other categories were. (Is that the right collective noun - 'a clutch of Chekovs'?)
The ASC awards system is so stressful and strange. I thought I had a duty to read the whole backlog of stories and write long comments on *all* the ones I enjoyed - a completely mad and impossible task. In the end I just got in a few lines about some of my most faves before the deadline. I'm sure its a good way to get some feedback for the authors - in that respect it's better than the ASCEM voting system - on the other hand, the ASC award goes to whoever's admirers tend to waffle on the longest.
>I've been crazed at work with, of all things, WORK.
How *DARE* you use such obscene language in front of me! >But the big monster reasearch grant goes to the Natl >Inst of Health next week and then it will be a >kindler, gentler job.
Excellent. Are you working in health policy? That's what my housemate does too.
>I've not had writers' block, more like writers' >avoidance. I'm 90K words into a G/B+ story and I'm >doing everything possible not to work on it. I >updated and revised COCO/SSD page, I started the >Scotty Fest, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, and only >writing a few hundred words here and there on this BIG >IMPORTANT (to me!) STORY. Oh well, this to shall pass >and then it will be... different.
Yum, G/B - my first and greatest love. Anything I can tempt you with to make you finish it?
>How are you?
Erm, well, I have 2 half-written Chekovs which have missed all fest deadlines. I seem to have written myself into a corner with my Chekov/AU Kirk. You see, Chekov is pretending to be his ruthless mirror counterpart, but he's just discovered that his mirror Captain is having it off with AU-Chekov because AU-Kirk is a submissive slut who likes the cut of Chekov's whip. So the question is, can Our Hero manage to fake being an experienced dom? Also, I couldn't resist using those agonizers, and I've had to research the pleasures of electricity. Poor Pavel, I'll give him a nervous breakdown.
>Once again, my heartfelt thanks,
Aw, for a few paltry lines - your stories deserve much more. From now on I resolve to be much more feedbacky.
Moriva
From: susgreer@webtv.net | Block Address | Add to Address Book
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 21:28:01 -0600 (CST)
To: "Karmen Ghia" Hey, Karmen!
I read it on ASCEM, just plain text. This is the first thing by you I've read, but the Chekov dilly sounds extremely intriguing!
But oh how I do love that Cardassian Cutey! And I'm so glad you plan to continue to write about these Susan
From: susgreer@webtv.net | Block Address | Add to Address Book
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 12:12:13 -0600 (CST)
To: karmen_ghia@yahoo.com
Subject: Dysecdysis
Hi, Karmen!
Just wanted to tell you how much I truly enjoyed this story. I always enjoy a tale such as yours: charming, with great in-depth characterization of one of my all time favorite characters: Elim Garak.
And your elegant subtle wit when at last Garak had Bashir in his bed! To steal the title of another slash fave: "The Taming of Julian Bashir!" Ah! It was delightful all the way through...thanks for giving me a wonderful morning's entertainment before I have to head to work.
Thanks for giving G/B'ers and everyone a great read.
Susan
From: "Jane.S" > Thanks, Jane. I knew it was different from RB and LC > but I wasn't aware of how different until I read it > again in hypertext.
You told a story, and used hypertext to tell it more effectively. In Rishi B, you used hypertext to illustrate that there isn't just one story. LC was the author wanting to have her cake and eat it. Good cake though.
> Did you see Judith's comment that the distance of the > narrative from the letter reinforces TZ's alienation > and alienness? What a fabulous observation and, I > went to read it again, true!
That woman is most perceptive. Have you noticed that T'Thrill and Hafital seem to want to simply get Sa and Am into bed together? Anyone would think... oh. We *are* writing a Sa/Am. Oh well.
My neighbours are giving me funny looks because I keep driving up laughing my head off. The tapes came yesterday. I already told you, but then I realised it was in a general reply to the Nearly Enough story (which is a pretty good title already, I think), so I deleted that and forgot to send a separate email. I'm saving the crocodiles for Kit's riding lesson. Who is reading what? And are the frequent phone calls to the room complaints about the noise?
> I'm too popular today. I just had a fairly delightful > lunch with MizMarcee and am off to see a film in a few > minutes.
Did you get the two bits of Taming feedback I sent you? And could you change the email links on any pages you control that it's on, because that email should be dead, dead, dead sometime soon, and I'd hate you to miss your feedback. Change it to skazki_2000@yahoo.
I should do some changing of links myself, but I dont' know where to begin. Sigh.
Anyway, I've signed off work, barring emergencies, until Christmas. I can shop to my heart's content. Or not, to even greater contentment.
Jane
From: "Olivia Monteith" You said in your notes that this story was a Mary Sue, but I beg to differ. This was an Original Character, the most original of any OC I have ever seen in fan fic. It never struck me to think of ThiaZole as a Mary Sue until I read it in your notes. This was good characterization, at least IMO. He told the story with facts and he didn't take it over. Somehow, by the most accepted definition of MS, he is; he saved Garak, he played matchmaker, the story was largely told through his voice, *but* he did it with words and in such a way that he wasn't an annoying, classic MS character. It defies logical explanation, it's more of a feeling you get about the character. He didn't make a big deal of what he did, or what he could do, and maybe it was his mostly unemotional disconnection from the other players in the story that made it possible. First and foremost, I want to applaud you for doing what I was certain was impossible, in writing an original character who was a large part of the story, without making it into a sickeniung Mary Sue. I grovel at your feet.
Settle back, this LOC is gonna get longer.
Okay, now I am not an xenobiologist, a biologist, or even a herpetologist, but as you know, I have a fascination with herps, and I indulge myself in reading a lot about them, as well as surrounding myself with them. I also tend to get long winded about it, and I usually fear I will bore my audience. I don't think I will bore you with my praise, but If I am, feel free to skip ahead a bit.
I was very, very impressed with your descriptions of dysecdysis, or difficulties of shedding skin and their impact on reptilian health. Did you research it or make quite a few lucky guesses? I don't know if this is the name given to the condition in RL, but a lot of the things you wrote in this story do apply. They can be blinded, tear open the new skin, get infections and die, as well as lose limbs and extremities if their skin doesn't shed well. For the skin to shed right, they have to have enough warmth and moisture, though I haven't heard of it being linked to the endocrine system. What I have observed is that after Fluffy gets out of his bath, he behaves more aggressive in the way that a male ig does when trying to claim a mate or to chase away other males. He also seems to form a bond, or make a connection with anyone who is there while he soaks or who aids him with his shed. For a while, Maddie, the dachshund was taking his bath with him; for some reason I haven't fathomed, she has an extreme attraction for him. Fluffy also formed an attraction for her, and began courting her in an iguana fashion. Then he got an infection on his stomach because a shed was not going well and he started using the cat's litter box rather than his own filled with water for his bathroom habits. The scoopable litter got in a small open shed caused wound, and a pretty nasty infection was the result, so now Maddie is not allowed in the tub with him any more.
The downside of this is that now he has fixated his affections on me. His mating seasons seem to have some sort of affect on his shedding, making it more difficult, and so you may not have been far off with the endocrine system connection. While he is in season, he also seeks me out for affection. He will stalk me until I pay him appropriate attention; petting him particularly around the top of his head where his third eye is (the equivalent of a Cardie spoon), his neck, jaw, dewflap, and shoulders. Once he has been petted, and sometimes cuddled, which he rarely tolerates, he is quite happy to go back to his perch and stay there a while. After he has shed his skin, he is more sensitive and leans into your hand when you pet him in the most endearing way. And he does drop off to sleep a lot while being stroked and petted.
Also, they tend to get depressed when they feel ignored, and this makes them more susceptible to infections, and makes them behave in ways that are generally dangerous to their health, like refusing to eat, going to hide in dark, cool places, and avoiding others entirely. Fluffy is a very companionable iguana, and if he seperates himself from the rest of us and does so repeatedly, then he is feeling like he is being rejected because he is being ignored. He is basically pouting. But it can kill him inside of a week if he is allowed to continue with this behavior, and if his general health is poor before he goes into hiding. There are very few things that can make an iguana's health fail other than simple neglect in it's many forms. They are very hardy animals, with few conditions that occur naturally to make them sick. When an iguana who is usually healthy suddenly becomes ill, it is usually because his owner or family has not been paying much attention to him, not been feeding him well, not been seeing to his basic needs, but without the feeling of being ignored, these other things won't have nearly as drastic an affect on him. Above all else, they need companionship. Oh, and like our dear tailor, they do not react well to small spaces. It makes them fearful, paranoid, and vicious.
I'm sorry, I'll quit going on about iguanas. There were other things about the story that I liked. I liked that TZ got to know so much about Garak without ever wanting to, while Bashir wants to know so much so desperately that he overlooks the clues. I like that TZ did not like Julian when he met him, and I liked the gul who was Garak's lover before the end of the Occupation. You carried off the m/m relationships in this well, without making any man into a woman with a dick. I loved how TZ played down the things he did such as saving Garak, and treating the Bajoran female so much that it sounded as if he was telling someone the boring, mundane facts about the most basic biological needs of his existence, such as going to the bathroom and breathing. You gave him a back history, without it taking over too much, without it becoming outlandish and unbelievable even for sci fi. It explained a lot about why he was who he was when Garak met him, why he deeply respected others' privacy and understood discretion, and why Garak trusted him.
Your characterization of Bashir and Garak were very accurate, too. I heard their voices, and saw their faces in my mind. I *loved* that the healer ThiaZold sent seemed to intentionally get Bashir and Sisko's names wrong just to piss them off. And I liked the mention of Rhiba again. Over all, I really enjoyed this story in a way I haven't been able to enjoy a G/B story in a long time. Not that there have been a lot of G/B stories written lately. But this is one of the best written of all time. I loved your flawed, very real characters, with their very individual personalities, both of the original variety and the canon ones as well. I look forward to more.
From: "Olivia Monteith" ----- Original Message ----- From: Karmen Ghia > Olivia! > > This is some of the greatest feedback ever!
Well deserved feedback. I am getting so damn lazy, and my arthitis is giving me so much hell that I only write feedback when a story is so good that I *have* to feed it back because I can't get it out of my head until I do, and maybe not even then.
> > Well, I'm a little sensitive about where the line > between an MS and an original character is so my note > was to head off those people who consider ANY original > character a MS. Those people are out there I wouldn't > want them to accidentally read anything that might > offend them and then they would feel the need to tell > me all about it. I've had this happen so I'm still a > little sensitive.
I don't blame you here. Early in mine and Jen's fan fic writing days, she started a story that was classic MS, and I pointed out to her all the ways that it was, and she was upset for a while with me before she finally admitted it was. But till this day, she can't stand if I mention that even she could write a MS. It's a very toucht subject for most writers, and in most cases, it's true which is why they are so touchy about it. But this, this was not a Mary Sue. This was the opposite of a Mary Sue. You did it really, really well, and as I said, it never occured to me to think of him as a MS, it was more like he was a canon character that I had never seen before.
> > I worked hard on TZ, I feel like I know him, not am > him, but know him. I really appreciate that you > appreciate that, Olivia, more than I can express in > writing.
I think I know what you mean. I have never been able to write an OC without feeling like it was a sickening MS, but with TZ, I feel like I know him too.
> And it was all wonderful reading. I'd no idea I knew > so much about iguanas and yours, Fluffy. I never > wrote this story, but I had a story going in my head > where a Klingon had a pet named Fluffy. Sort of a > Klingon cockapoo, if you can imagine such a thing.
LOL! Let me guess, was the Klingon gay? Was it Jim Bob from Jen's Duarto's House Of Hair series? It seems surreal enough.
> Oh, I like this kind of thing. Good, this kind of thing seems to be my obsession :0)>
> I did some research on the net and then I used my > imagination. If I'd been thinking, I would have sent > it to you for a second, herpatology, beta. > How about getting the poor guy laid? Sounds like he > needs a nice girl iguana to settle down with. Or boy > iguana if you can talk him into it.
Yeah, I'm trying to help him out there. The reason I aquired four more iguanas this summer was because I was trying to find him a nice female companion. Apparenmtly adult iguanas don't sell in pet stores anymore, and among the babies, the males are the healthiest and find it easier to survive the pitiful conditions these poor things have to live with in pet stores. Out of the four, I know without a doubt that two are male, I am beginning to suspect that the third one is, but his male characteristics were stunted due to poor living conditions and over crowding. The last one is small, very small, and I think she is female, but I can't be sure yet. Besides, Mila is growing abnormally slowly. Even if she is a female, she may never be suitable companionship for Fluffy. I don't understand this, either. She has the same food, same light, same heat, and living conditions as the rest, and they are growing like weeds on cowshit, but she is not. At least now her hip joints don't stand out anymore, and the metabolic bone disease lumps on her feet from not getting enough calcium and proper light have disappeared. Anyway, I am doing my best to find him a suitable mate, but not having much luck. Two of the igs I bought this summer who I am pretty sure are male are going to be going to a new home on Christmas day. Having too many males around will only stress Fluffy out, and make him likely to hurt them, so it's for the best.
> > Seemed to me if I had new skin or scales, they would > be sensitive and I'd want to be touched as much as > possible. But that might just be me and Fluffy.
Nope, not just the two of you. > They must be to live in the dessert like they do.
No, actually, they live in the rainforest. They need heat and high humidity. Because of this, I have heat lamps, humidifyers, heating pads, and cat pans of water sitting all over my house, and why they get a bath every day. They are spoiled. > I found some really cool websites about reptiles that > said similar things about water dragons, I think. I > wrote to one asking what the word for the normal shed > is, 'dysecdysis' is for a difficult shed, and xe wrote > right back with 'ecdysis' and didn't even ask me why > I wanted to know. Very nice person, too. I like > reptiles, other people's reptiles, that is.
I like reptile too, as if you didn't know that alkready. I am getting JP a baby Caymen for Christmas, which is like a dwarf crocodile. They aren't like iguanas in that they don't form attachments to people, but neither is my snake, and I love her anyway.
> > Yeah, I liked Tirn Xriet, too, and had thought of > doing more with he and Garak but it seemed right for > the story to leave it the way it was. I think Xriet > was very much in love with Garak and Garak was fond of > him because he was useful and kind and would have > loved him more if they could have stayed together. > But life sometimes has better plans for us than we can > imagine.
Yes, I believe you are right. Garak wasn't 'in love' with Xriet, but after living in an emotional wasteland and suffering abuse for so long, he needed him. I liked that Xriet was honest with Garak, as well. At least I got the impression that he meanty it when he said he would send for him, and believed it, but that Garak knew it was beyond Xriet's control. I liked that he told Garak, "I tried, but I couldn't do it."
> TZ is so damaged, so burnt out, these acts are about > as important as going to the bathroom. He has flashes > of feeling for Garak but they are painful for him, > like a phantom limb pain. This is also why he keeps > his distance, lives moment to moment, and only does > anything because 'it seemed like a good idea at the > time'. > > The more I thought about what must be done to one to > destroy empathic ability, the more creeped out I got. > It would be like being blinded, deafened and paralyzed > at the same time.
Sort of like the Metallica song, One. I know, I am not a fan of songfic, but the song I am talking about is about a man who lost both arms, both legs, his hearing, ability to speak, and his eyesight all at once when he stepped on a landmine. The only way he could communicate was my moving his head and tapping out messages in Morse code, and he kept asking people to please kill him. It's a disturbing thought, you know?
Not that there > > have been a lot of G/B stories written lately. But > > this is one of the best written of all time. > > Olivia! Really!?
IMO, yes.
> Thank you so much, Olivia, this has made my day! > There are four more stories coming, set between G/B > getting together and the end of Dysecdysis (of > course). They are normal, 3rd person narratives, > rather silly and have the Talljets in them, but fun. > I had written 80,000 words of Dysecdysis before I > realized it was five stories, o'silly me!, not one. > No more dysecdysis now that Garak has Bashir to help > him out. Yes, that is a Very Good Thing. Just don't fall into what I personally think of as The Police Academy Trap, where the story really should stop and come to an end, but the writer doesn't end it. I did this with my Peace On Earth series, I should have never written Let Me Call You Sweetheart. I don't think I will ever be able to feel comfortable about that story, even though a lot of people have said they liked it.
> > I'm so pleased you liked this story. That's very > encouraging for me. Hello to Fluffy. Glad to hear > you got that funny sunny yellow bear for your son. > Happy holidays.
Thanks, and thanks for pointing that bear out to me. It was muchly appreciated. And you have a happy holidays too. I'll be glad to take the tree down personally. I am getting tired of pulling iguanas and cats out of it.
From: "Jane.S" I haven't read this thoroughly in the hypertext version (and I think you should rely on the opinions of those who see it that way first for a final judgement), but this is so much smoother, less clunkily hypertext, than Learning curve and Rishi Baba. Nice one!
Jane
From:
"Tiggy Malvern" Hi Karmen
Rather later than planned, but comments as promised Thanks for an enjoyable read.
Tiggy
To:
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Date:
Sun, 02 Sep 2001 03:38:59 -0000
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[ASCEML] Re: A really silly question
One of the most complex and slashiest DS9 characters is Garak --for a complex and slashy character study you should check out Karmen's hypertext story "Dysecdysis." Her posts should contain the web site address.
Judith
Date:
23 Mar 2001 15:58:55 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 68
G-035) Cat: Garak/Bashir
---
Title: Dysecdysis
Author: Karmen Ghia
***A great, well paced story with original characters who are well developed and fascinating. Karmen delves deeper into Cardassian and alien physiology with wonderful, truly original results. The ending too, was quite a shock.
(G-035) Cat: Garak/Bashir
---
Title: Dysecdysis
Author: Karmen Ghia
If this author writes something, chances are good I will read it and become so sucked into that universe, I can forget my own. The best thing, IMO, that Karmen does is create wonderful original characters. The 'narrator' in this tale made me curious from the start. A very well written and fascinating tale.
Date:
22 Mar 2001 16:30:25 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 67
> (BEST-606) Author: Karmen Ghia
> TOS Title: After the Rescue
> DS9 Title: Dysecdysis
> Contact: karmen_ghia@y...
>
Karmen's stories are always interesting and well written.
To:
ASCEML@yahoogroups.com
From:
"Jane.S" Comment DS9
***Author
too many to choose from!! ack. :) I loved Kaki's D'ty'ral and Karmen's stories, and melissa's too. All of them.
Karmen Ghia is IMHO the best new addition to the ranks of Garak/Bashir writers. She dares to experiment with form as well as content, and has turned out some fabulous stories in the pairing so far.
***Garak Bashir
I wish I could vote for more than three stories in this category. I also enjoyed, and strongly recommend: Karmen Ghia's "Dysecdysis," Kathryn Ramage's "Damage Control" and "Interspecies Courtship Rituals," and Mark Stanley's "Postscript."
It's surprising how many of this year's best stories came from the various fuhq-fests: Heather Cook's "Middle Ground" had excellent characterizations and an ending that had me quite misty-eyed. Mosca's "The Mature Officer's Guide to Creative Diplomacy" made me buy into a pairing I would *never* have considered possible. And Invicta's "Hembassik Blues" had a quite believable setting and AU scenario within which the characters really shone. I also enjoyed Kaki's "D'ty'ral" and Isla's "The Emissary" very much.
Date:
15 Mar 2001 15:24:57 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 54
> (DS9-162) Author: Karmen Ghia
> Title: Dysecdysis
> Contact: karmen_ghia@yahoo.com
>
Karmen is new to Garak/Bashir fiction this year. I want to grab her, lock her up, and make her write *nothing* but DS9! She's great at inventing fresh new scenarios and experimenting with new forms. Her characterisations are flawless even when they stretch the limits of canon.
Date:
14 Mar 2001 14:04:07 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 51
(G-035) Cat: Garak/Bashir
Title: Dysecdysis
Author: Karmen Ghia
I found this a fascinating piece of work, especially all the alien details and the unique, orginal character. Making it a hypertext story took it to a unique level that doesn't distract, only enhances the excellent story-telling.
> (G-047) Cat: Garak/Bashir
> ---
> Nothing we can't cure
> Karmen Ghia
It's so refreshing to see lust and romance co-existing with the realities of STDs. This story has so many great lines and details, I can't wait to read the next story (and, yes, Karmen, I am prodding you to finish it).
Date:
13 Mar 2001 21:31:14 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 50
(G-035) Cat: Garak/Bashir
---
Title: Dysecdysis
Karmen introduced interesting original alien characters, ThiaZole and Djarian, who provide a fascinating look at the Federation from their alien POV. These characterizations along with a real sense of the history of Terok Nor/DS9 make this an enjoyable read.
Date:
12 Mar 2001 04:43:08 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 45
> (G-035) Cat: Garak/Bashir
> ---
> Title: Dysecdysis
> Author: Karmen Ghia
I don't read slash for its own sake, so normally steer clear of it. Once in a while I glance at stories that feedback seems to indicate they're more than just a pwp -- this is one of those. I think what I enjoyed the most about it was the alien pov. One of the more convincing original aliens I've read about, and the writing itself is very well done.
Date:
8 Mar 2001 14:22:57 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 41
GO-47 Nothing We Can't Cure, Karmen Ghia
I enjoyed the wordplay and double meanings in the negotiation between Garak
and Rhiba and the playfulness between Garak and Bashir.
Date:
7 Mar 2001 14:41:12 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 40
Message: 3
Date: Tue, 06 Mar 2001 19:40:04 -0000
From: seraphimi_1@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: DS9 VOTING 3/6 Garak/Bashir [ASC
Awards]
> Story Link: http://oocities.com/dysecdysis
> ---
> (G-035) Cat: Garak/Bashir
> ---
> Title: Dysecdysis
> Author: Karmen Ghia
***Great story with fascinating original characters, Karmen has utilized the voice of Garak that can be found in Robinson's book 'A Stitch In Time' with wonderful results. There is an almost dreamy quality about this work, as it is told by an original alien this works very well. I particularily enjoyed how Cardassian physiology was explored in this story, they are too often portrayed as humans with some bumps or scales. Karmen delves very deeply into the psyche of both Garak and her original character, and the ending itself had a lot of punch.
Date:
6 Mar 2001 14:37:46 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 39
> (G-047) Cat: Garak/Bashir
> ---
> Title: Nothing we can't cure
> Author: Karmen Ghia
G/B has been around for a while, so it's nice to see someone writing from a new angle. I thought this story was interesting because of the subject matter, and because of how it was handled. "Nothing..." is nicely written, with an interesting conclusion.
Date:
5 Mar 2001 08:05:08 -0000
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[ASC_Awards] Digest Number 37
(G-035) Cat: Garak/Bashir
Title: Dysecdysis
Author: Karmen Ghia
I read the hypertext version of this - very cleverly constructed shifting between scenes and perspectives on the story. The original character is beautifully drawn, and I particularly enjoyed the scenes set on Terok Nor.
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 19:53:43 -0000
Reply-to: ASCEML@egroups.com
Subject: [ASCEML] Re: NEW DS9: Dysecdysis (G/B;NC-17;8/8)
Karmen, this story is simply awesome.
I read it as a non hypertext and as hypertext and both styles worked well, probably because of the episotolary method used with ThiaZole.
Just a fabulous, tense read, I was riveted throughout, it's air of mystery really made me want to read more. Every character in this piece was wonderfully fleshed out, and not a wooden body could be seen--even the embarassed aide to Xriet had a good injection of personality.
You've painted this scenario extremely well. Describing Garak's alien ailment was a wonderful way of expressing the 'alien-ness' of Cardassian physiques. Oftentimes I find that fanfic will gloss over the alien physiologies in favor of making them more human--I'm very pleased that you didn't do this.
Just a great read. Thanks for writing it :D
melissa
To: garakbashir@egroups.com
From: "Mark Stanley" Karmen Ghia wrote: > > Title: Dysecdysis > Part: 0/1 [story and site announcement]
A very enjoyable tale. I really liked the original character and his relationships to Garak and Quark; I liked the format a lot. Someone said it was like listening to ThiaZole's musings as he wrote the letter, and I agree. It was a very convincing look at a slight AU.
I did find the writing a little confusing -- missing commas and other typos made the phrasing a bit difficult to understand at points.
* * * * * * *
I particularly liked Xriet and his relationship to Garak, and I loved the way the Bajorans thought of ThiaZole's 'heroic' rescue of a Bajoran woman, and his subsequent 'imprisonment' on Terok Nor. They do have a way of overstating things, don't they? ;0)
Mark --
To: FCanon@egroups.com
From: "Shezan" Karmen Ghia wrote >Okay, I have a new hypertext story at http://oocities.com/dysecdysis/ and I would like to know what folks think of it as a hypertext story. >For those of you who don't like hypertext stories, I can post this one and plan to do so before the end of the year. But if you do like hypertext and can't wait, go here: http://oocities.com/dysecdysis/ <
Karmen! This is a TUH-RRIFIC story! Believable new species, completely true DS9 denizens, angst, new background, LOved it.
About the hypertext: now I'm used to it, I have no problems with it, but I'd say, unlike Rishi-Baba, because you don't have alternative choices here, it's less necessary. It's obvious it's told in flashbacks from the letter. But it does work either way, I think.
As for your main character I wish we could have hoped to see more of him...
Shezan
To: ASCEML@egroups.com
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Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 15:23:57 EST
Reply-to: ASCEML@egroups.com
Subject: Re: [ASCEML] NEW DS9: Dysecdysis (G/B;NC-17;0/1)
Another excellent use of hypertext that shows the versatility of the format. Quite different from Rishi Baba or Learning Curve. The characterization of ThiaZole was well-done, and the physical description quite amazing (and definitely an objective correlative of the character). Fulsome physical descriptions are usually not my thing, but this one not only was vivid and riveting but also did a good job of creating character. And an original SF idea that ranks right up there with Sturgeon!
I am not sure how much of this is the hypertext medium and how much of it is simply the writing, but the story left me with an overwhelming sense of ThiaZole's isolation and detachment. I think the hypertext segments did contribute to this feeling because of the way they created distance from the character and heightened the sense that the others were unknown and unknowable to him and he to them.
The ending! Gulp. Quite perfect for this story.
More Golden O material, fer sure.
Judith
Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 11:01:35 -0800 (PST)
From: "datalaur" FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I loved this story. It is so very original, so very fascinating, so very skilled. Utterly believeable. The format worked very well. I read the letter straight through first, then went back through and hit the links. Great stuff. The sex was really hot. I especially liked the Garak pov and thoughts, very in-character. I would liked to have seen a bit more of Xriet's departure, but then I think it would not have been in character culturally.
What I really liked was the ALIEN aliens! Thiazole particularly The physical descriptions were so good... ::shudder:: the eyes, the shaded glance... excellent. Djerian was neat - hunter/healer. The part with Crisco was hilarious, with that hint of danger below - Dax's reactions were good (though I didn't pick up on that it was DAX as opposed to Jadzia until you pointed it out, I don't watch DS9 so I didn't know Dax could come forward like that).
I did notice one problem - in hypertext 2 - the text is repeated twice before the reader gets to jump back to the letter.
Anyhow, what I was thinking while I was reading was -- why the hell don't they ever do anything like this in the tv eps. Oh, of course, they'd skip the sex, but just the complexity, the layers of meaning in tone and glance, the alienness of the aliens, the genuine emotion, the sheer culturality of it all! Damn paramount all to hell!
::calming self:: I haven't the slightest doubt that you could make a pro writer. You write intelligent, complex stories and characters. What I doubt is the mentality of the publisherslugs who churn out crap with appalling regularlity.
And anyone who calls any of your original characters a Mary Sue is a fool.
your riveted fan, laur
From: PG66213@aol.com | Block Address | Add to Address Book
Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 10:07:07 EST
Subject: Re: [garakbashir] NEW DS9: Dysecdysis (G/B;NC-17;0/1)
To: karmen_ghia2@yahoo.com
Hi Karmen,
I read your story Dysecdysis and enjoyed it very much.
What I like...
* ThiaZole and Djerian
You really made interesting original characters. I especially like seeing Bashir, Garak, Quark, and the Federation from their POV. Unlike many aliens in the series who kiss the ground that the Federations walk on, you realistically portrayed aliens who weren't enamored with 'the good guys'. Also you conveyed a great sense of history by taking us from ThiaZole's hardship, through Cadassian occupation, and then through Federation's involvement with DS9. Well done.
* Various scenes
I like Gul Xriet picking up Garak. I had a real sense of Cardassian flirting. I like that you captured the sanctimonious nature of the Federation in scenes with Bashir, Sisko, and Dijerian.
What I didn't like... Nothing much to say here, but I have an observation. Some spots seemed to be long on exposition. But, you were trying to convey a lot of story in a short format. You could have easily turned this into a novel.
As always, I enjoy your story very much.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
PGray
Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 03:24:10 -0500
Reply-to: garakbashir@egroups.com
Subject: [garakbashir] RE: Dysecdysis {spoilers}
*I tried to post this an hr ago...I'm trying again and we'll see if it works...good thing I do all my longer compositions in word, hotmail won't let me compose anything over 5 lines or it gives me the finger*
*sigh* I?m way behind on the feedback...
Normally I don?t bother with hypertext because I get confused easily :o) but since I?m locked in my parent?s basement and have no other pressing matters I thought I?d take the time.
And I?m glad I did! Besides, the format wasn?t nearly as confusing as I feared it would be ;o)
I definitely liked the idea of alternating the story from a letter to a third person of the event. It really put the story into perspective and the reader was able to follow it without a single bias.
Seeing the tender side of Garak as he grew from a helpless exile to the intriguing spy of Deep Space Nine through an external source (of ThiaZole) was for me the highlight of the story. Poor Garak being bullied about all the time. I wonder what Mr.Zole really said to Dukat to make him leave Garak alone.
And I?m very happy he found such an iNteresting way to keep his scales healthy ;o)
-Java Green
Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 03:24:09 -0500 (EST)
Reply-to: ASCEML@egroups.com
Subject: Re: [ASCEML] NEW DS9: Dysecdysis (G/B;NC-17;0/1)
I really liked it as a hypertext story Karmen. It was well done, and easy to read. All the links worked fine. Because the letter is first person, the effect when going into the links was one of entering a person's mind as he is reminiscing, or while his mind is wandering from writing his letter, only to *come back* to reality and the letter again. It was a really neat effect. (I sure hope you understand what I mean. :-)
I liked the history you gave for ThiaZole, and the Cardassian/Bajoran situation. I'm not familiar with DS9 (okay, I've watched exactly one episode so I'm not familiar with it at all) so I can't tell you anything about whether or not the history is relevant to DS9 canon, but if it isn't, who cares? It's still a good story.
Lady Hawk
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