Elaina woke to a bump and a few screams. She was disoriented and tried to piece together what was going on as she came back to reality. Someone was holding onto her, and they were in a vehicle that was swerving madly. She saw Lane trying to control the vehicle as he pulled back and forth on the steering wheel. She tried to move and realized it was Jeremy who was holding onto her to keep her from falling while the van swung from side to side. "What's going on?" Elaina asked as consciousness set in.
"We blew a tire," Lane stated. "Don't panic, ladies!" The screaming from the back quieted, and Lane managed to get the van pulled stopped on the side of the road without any major problems.
Jeremy looked at Elaina. "Are you all right?" Elaina nodded, so Jeremy let her go, and she sat up as he and Lane jumped out to survey the damage.
Elaina rubbed her face and stretched as she finished waking. "Well, I guess this is where the excitement begins," she stated flatly.
Allie turned around and managed a wry smile. "Oh, you know it wouldn't be a real YG trip if we didn't get a breakdown or two in on the way." At that moment, Lane reached in to grab a toolbox from under the driver's seat. "Everything ok?"
Lane set the box on the seat and pulled out a couple tools. "It looks a little worse than just the tire, but we'll have to see." With that, he disappeared around the back of the van.
Elaina looked around. "What time is it anyway?" she asked as she looked at her watch.
"Seven thirty," Theresa answered before Elaina could make it out for herself.
"Seven thirty?! How'd I sleep so long?" Elaina queried in disbelief.
Allie gave her friend a serious look. "Maybe you needed a good rest after all."
Elaina shrugged off the comment. "Maybe..." she mumbled. Quickly, she changed the subject. "Hey, do you think there's a rest stop around here anywhere? Maybe we can walk." She grabbed her purse and hopped out of the van.
Allie laughed. "Yep, you really look like you're dressed for walking, too."
"Hey! I can walk in anything. I'm a city girl."
Allie rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She opened her door and climbed out of the van as well. "Anyone else for walking?"
No one else in the van seemed interested, so Allie turned to Elaina, "I guess it's just you and me."
Lane and Jeremy looked up at the two women. "Where do you two think you're going?" Jeremy asked.
"We're going to take a walk—see if there's anyplace up the road to stop at," Elaina informed them.
"Oh no you're not," Lane protested. "You don't know how close we are to anything, and it could be a while until we get this finished."
"Honey, we'll be just fine," Allie assured him. She winked at Elaina. "We're big girls."
Elaina grinned back at her. "Yeah, just pick us up at the next stop you come to once you get this thing going again."
Before the guys could protest, Allie and Elaina had started off on their own. Elaina shouted over her shoulder as she held a black object in the air, "Cell phone!" She laughed to Allie, "Never leave home without it."
Lane had to concede. "Be careful!" he shouted after them. He went back to working on the tire. "I knew that was a losing battle. Get those two together, and they're impossible."
Jeremy heard what Lane said but offered no reply. He was too busy staring after the two figures that were walking into the sunset, though he was only focused on one.
"So, when are you going to tell me?" Allie asked curiously as Elaina picked apart a flower she pulled from alongside the road.
"Tell you what?" Elaina responded nonchalantly.
"Tell me what's going on between you and Jeremy."
Elaina hesitated. "I don't know what you mean."
"Come on, Elaina. I know you better than anyone here. What's going on?"
"I don't know, Allie. I really don't."
"Have you talked to him since that night in Daytona?" Allie inquired.
Elaina shook her head. "I think it was all said then. There was nothing left to talk to him about."
Allie frowned. "You know that's not true, Elaina."
Elaina looked off in the distance, and Allie could see that her thoughts were somewhere else. "You know, it's funny, but I knew the day I met him, Allie."
"Knew what?" Allie was puzzled.
"I knew that he was the one." Elaina looked inquisitively at her friend. "I knew—-without a doubt-—that I was supposed to marry him."
Allie looked at her friend. "I take it you're not referring to Alex."
Elaina looked off again. "I was ten years old, which means he was only eight. It was the first time I had ever come to Junior Choir at our church, and I knew it the moment I saw him. The next day, I told my best friend that I was going to marry him."
"Elaina, you were just a kid."
Elaina threw the flower into the weeds. "You know that doesn't mean anything."
Allie pulled out her lip balm and spread it on her lips. "Well, I told you before to let him go, and it turned out that I was wrong about him, so I don't know what to tell you now." She offered the tube to Elaina who took it as she spoke. "Things are really a mess now, aren't they?"
Elaina nodded, handing the lip balm back to her friend. "I guess so." She rubbed her temples. "Oh, Allie! What am I going to do?"
Allie was silent for a moment. "I'm not sure anymore, Elaina. He made this a lot worse for everyone by doing what he did."
"I just can't understand him, though. Why did he kiss me and then tell me to leave? What was he trying to prove?"
"He acted on impulse, and it scared him," Allie replied. "You told me years ago that he was scared of what you two had, and that's why you lost it in the first place."
"I know, but the scene just replays over and over again in my dreams... how I told him not to apologize… how he said he had always loved me… how I said I would never let go… how he left me crying in the moonlight…" Elaina felt the tears of that evening coming back to her.
"Lainie, after all that he said and did that night, you know it can't be over."
Elaina pursed her lips to keep them from quivering for a moment. "Oh, I think it very well could be."
Allie shook her head. "Look at you. You know love can't be turned on and off like a switch. It doesn't just go away. If you still feel that strongly, then you know he has to feel the same. You guys can't throw that away. You'll both be sorry the rest of your lives."
Elaina picked up a stone and flung it. "Why did I have to be so proud? Why did I go back and set up the wedding?"
"You were scared." The speed with which Allie answered the question startled Elaina. "The same reason he told you to do it." Allie studied her friend's expression for a moment. "Elaina, have you even told Alex yet?"
Elaina diverted her gaze while she spoke. "Told him? About what? Daytona?"
Allie sighed. "About any of it." Elaina drew in a deep breath but knew she didn't have to wait for an answer. "So you didn't tell him."
Elaina folded her arms in front of her. "You know I'm not going to, Allie."
Allie shook her head. "I don't know how you do it."
"Do what?"
"How you can live a lie."
"It's not like that, Al."
Allie examined her wedding band. "It is like that, Elaina."
Elaina self-consciously began fidgeting with her own ring. "It's not like I don't love him."
Allie glanced at her friend suspiciously. "Do you?"
"Why else would I marry him?" Elaina's tone was defiant.
"Because he's safe." Allie was almost afraid to confront her friend on this matter, but she was more afraid of watching her sign her life away.
Elaina was despondent. "That has nothing to do with it."
Allie shoved her hands into her pockets. "You know it has everything to do with it. Why do you keep lying to yourself?"
Elaina wanted to protest but didn't know what she could say. Allie was her best friend and had been for years, and she knew protesting would be futile. Allie could see past that and knew her much better.
The two walked along in silence for a few minutes not knowing who should speak next. Finally, Elaina sighed. "Allie, you know I've always been different from you and Angie when it came to guys."
Allie laughed. "Boy! Is that an understatement!"
Elaina let out a little chuckle but remained unmoved. "You each found your one true love, dated, engaged, and married him. Now, you both get that storybook ending, but I didn't get so lucky."
"Elaina, you're not dying or something. Why do you have to be so melodramatic?"
"Al, I never got it quite right when it came to relationships, and you were there to see it." Elaina flinched as the painful memories came back to her. "When Jeremy told me it was over, I went out and did some really stupid things—things I wish I could forget. When I finally pulled myself together, I met Alex. For some reason, it finally worked. He never hurt me, and I know he never would." Just looking at her in that one instant, it was evident how worn she had become. "I decided long ago that you can't trade that in on anything." And she was once again the strong woman she had been a moment earlier.
"Lainie, do you hear yourself?!" Allie stopped her and grabbed her arm. "Don't you realize that you sound exactly like someone else we know—-someone who threw his life away and can't get it back? When he said these things to you, you nearly killed him!"
"What are you talking about, Al?"
"Jonathan! Don't you remember crying to me about how he was ruining his life by settling? That's what you're doing now!"
Allie's eyes pierced through Elaina as she lowered her voice, "But you won't even talk to him anymore."
Allie had struck a nerve. Elaina ripped her arm away and started walking again. "He has nothing to do with this. I can't believe you would even do that to me."
Allie was appalled. "Elaina! This is unbelievable!" She couldn't help snickering. "Look at yourself, will you?"
Elaina spun around on her heel. "You know damn well that I don't talk to him anymore, and this has nothing to do with that or what he did. He can live his life any way he chooses. It's none of my business, nor am I of his."
"Elaina, you lied to him the same way Jeremy lied to you. Now he's married to someone he doesn't love. Do you want the same fate?"
Elaina glared at Allie angrily. "It is not my fault that he's married to her, nor that he doesn't love her."
"No, it's not. You told him you didn't care and that you had to leave. You left, and he did what he wanted. You didn't make him marry her, but you do control whether you make the same mistakes."
Elaina looked as if she might explode. "This is nothing like that! How can you bring him into this?!"
Allie sympathetically searched her friend's face. "I wish you could see yourself, Elaina. Jonathan was your best friend, and you're doing exactly what he did. You're settling."
"It's them!" Elaina shouted pointing off behind Allie. Allie turned and looked to see the small caravan approaching as Elaina walked toward her waving them down. They started beeping as they approached.
Allie stepped up to her friend's ear just before the van pulled to a stop next to them. "You can tell yourself you love him forever, but you'll never be in love with him the way you are with Jeremy. You'll be settling, Elaina, the same thing you condemned Jonathan for. Just think about that for a while."
As Allie stopped speaking, the van door whipped open, and the two smiled and greeted everyone again as they got back in the van. They quickly changed demeanor so that no one would have guessed the tone of their conversation, and they discussed finding a rest stop with everyone else as the van started off again.
But those last words Allie had spoken haunted Elaina as she sat uncomfortably next to Jeremy. Could she settle for just a safe love? Or was there more involved? She had once told someone very dear to her that it took much more...
Elaina stomped reluctantly into the room. The party continued downstairs, but here she was against her will in this empty room with Jonathan. "Well, talk," she demanded as she flung herself on the bed.
Jon looked at her with an expression she couldn't decipher. "Lainie, it'll soon be the new year. Let's not start off like this."
Elaina's eyes were narrow as she stated, "Why not? It's not like it matters."
Jon was taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?"
She glared at him. "You know damn well what it means."
"It's because of her, isn't it?"
"Who else would it be, Jon?" She turned her head. She didn't even want to look at him.
"I know you don't like her, but I'm happy with her."
"Are you?" Elaina wanted to be sure, but somehow, she didn't want him to answer. She feared he was, and although she would never admit it, she didn't want her best friend to be happy without her.
"Yes, I am."
It shot Elaina to the heart. It was so much easier for her to think of him being with Hillary out of desperation. Why'd he actually have to be happy with her? "But you told me you didn't care about her anymore."
"Ever hear of denial?"
"Denial? You broke up with her. It's not like she left you high and dry, and you were dying to have her back. It was your idea to end it. What could you have been denying?"
Jon paused, gathering his thoughts. She did have a point. And he didn't have a rebuttal. "Lainie, there was a time when we could have been together, but things got messed up. Our timing was off." His words were soft.
This was becoming more and more painful for her, and she regretted coming into this room—not to mention leaving her drink downstairs—with each passing moment. Elaina threw her hands up in desperation. "Great. It's my terminal timing disease—always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes I think it really is going to end up killing me."
"You know that's not true."
"I've had it, Jon. Just tell me one thing." She stood up to face him eye to eye.
Jonathan looked confused and shrugged his shoulders. "What?"
Her eyes stared right into him as she asked, "Do you love her?"
Jon opened his mouth but couldn't speak. He turned away. "The way I see it is that I could do a lot worse, but I can't do much better. I'm content with that."
Neither of them said anything for a moment, and the ensuing silence caused a tension to fill the room. Elaina didn't like his answer, and it loomed dangerously over them. When she finally spoke, her words shot out of her like bullets from the barrel of a gun. "So am I worse?"
Instantly, the whole world seemed to stop spinning as it waited for his answer. Elaina felt like she had just thrown a grenade into the air, and they were watching it, seeing it move in slow motion as they waited for it to explode. She wanted to take it back, to stop him from answering, yet she felt a strange relief at knowing she could not. Tick...tick... She felt the room growing continually smaller as they waited. Tick...tick... What would he say?
Jonathan felt as if the words had struck him in the face. Had she really asked that? What was he supposed to say? "Lainie, I already told you, our timing was off—-"
"Jonathan, I didn't ask you to repeat yourself." She had already asked the question. Now she wanted an answer. "You knew you could have had me before, but you chose to be with her. Does that make me worse?"
Jonathan took a deep breath. "Elaina, we've been here before, and you know it. I told you how I felt about you, you said you felt the same but that you were scared, and then you left. So you're wrong. I couldn't have had you. We had our chance, and now it's over. Yes, I chose her. She accepted. You ran away. That's the difference between you and her."
Elaina couldn't take it anymore. "I can't believe you! You're settling, Jonathan. Plain and simple. How can you be content if you're just settling?!"
"I took what I could get. Maybe if you hadn't run, things would be different."
Now Elaina was fuming. How dare he turn this on her like that? "Jonathan, you know you're my best friend in the world, and I can't stand to see you get tied into something where you won't be happy. You know there's more involved in happiness than a safe love."
Jon turned as the noise level rose from below them. "There's a party we're missing right now. Let's go." He started toward the door.
Elaina was struck with shock. "That's o.k. You go ahead." Her voice sounded frail and bruised.
"Come on, Lainie. Let's start the New Year right." Jon waited a moment, but she didn't respond. "Well, I'll be downstairs when you change your mind."
She bit her lip. She would not cry. Suddenly, she felt a new strength rise from within her. It wasn't her life, and if he wanted to wreck it, so be it. He could make his own decisions, and she could make hers. She already had. She didn't need him, and she wouldn't let him ruin her evening. She ran down the steps and into the kitchen where a bottle of wine sat open on the table. She grabbed it and headed into the living room just as everyone else was starting the countdown.
"Happy New Year!!!" Everyone shouted happily, and Elaina tipped up the bottle, swallowed nearly half, then turned to the nearest guy, pressing her lips to his. She pretended not to notice Jonathan and Hillary embracing on the other side of the room, though she watched their every move. Drawing back from her friend Andy, she lifted the bottle again and drank till it was empty. If he wanted to pretend he was happy, then she would, too...
"You've sure been quiet."
The low voice in her ear startled her out of her daydream. She turned to Jeremy, startled. "Oh... yeah... I was, um, thinking about mistakes." She rubbed her cheeks self-consciously.
Jeremy chuckled, "Gee, sorry to interrupt."
She forced a smile, but inside, she wasn't feeling very jovial.
She changed the subject, "So, are we stopping soon?"
Lane laughed. "Well, that was the plan, but we can't seem to find anything on this road. Every place we pass is either closed or deserted."
Elaina squirmed in her seat. "Great. The one time I forget to bring a water bottle, and we can't even stop anywhere. What luck."
"Oh my! We couldn't have Miss Elaina missing out on her bottled water, could we?" Jeremy mocked her as he reached under the seat.
"Quit it!" She scowled at him as she jabbed him in the arm.
Producing a bottle of water, he unscrewed the cap and handed it to her, bowing his head. "Your water, madame."
Taking the bottle from him, she held it over his head. "I'm warning you—-"
Jeremy shrugged. "She never was the gracious type."
The rest of the van shared a laugh while Elaina defiantly turned away from him and took a sip of the water. Something on the bottle caught her eye. "Another endorsement? How many is that now?"
Jeremy smiled. "Well, let's see, we've got the volleyballs, the sneakers, the athletic wear, the sunglasses, the motor oil—-"
"Motor oil?" Allie asked in disbelief.
Jeremy simply nodded as he continued, "-—the computers, the graphic software, the deodorant, the action figures, and now the bottled water. How many does that make?"
"You forgot the stereos," Theresa reminded him.
"Oh, right, the stereos," Jeremy added. "I'm not sure how many it is, but it sure pays the bills."
"Not to mention you never have to buy anything!" Elaina pointed out.
"I'll bet you're fighting off women with baseball bats, Jer," Lane joked.
"Actually with microphones," Jeremy mused. "They fit into the stereo deal. I don't have any baseball equipment endorsements."
Again, the group laughed together without Elaina. She couldn't help picturing sleazy, sultry, underhanded, gold-digging women fawning over her Jeremy. Her Jeremy? Had she thought that?
"Boy, Elaina, you may do million dollar business deals everyday, but can you get endorsements?" Kiki giggled. "This kid's got you beat."
Elaina simply rolled her eyes. When would this van ride end?
By 9:15 p.m., they had finally found an open Quick Mart, and fifteen minutes later, they were back on the road. Elaina was lost in her thoughts as those in the van continued to chatter away about trivial things she didn't feel like discussing.
Finally, she pulled out her laptop and cell phone and began to dial online.
"Elaina, didn't we tell you that you couldn't work on this trip?" Allie asked like a disobeyed mother.
"I'm not working," Elaina lied. "I'm just checking my e-mail."
Allie shook her head. "We should have told her no appliances."
Lane chortled. "No, then she would have just refused to come altogether!"
Elaina ignored their cracks while she logged online. Sure enough, there were new messages. Pulling up her Inbox screen, she saw one from Alex. Nervously, she glanced at Jeremy out of the corner of her eye to see if he was watching. Feeling secure that he was engrossed in conversation, she opened the message.
Honey,
Just wanted to let you know how much I miss you already. Even though I want you to enjoy yourself, don't have too much fun without me. Your mother has already called me three times to talk about wedding plans. Maybe I should have just come with you! What's the big idea leaving me to the wolves, anyway? Oh, I thought I should tell you Jack called earlier from Australia. It sounded serious, but when I told him you were gone, he said not to disturb you. You might want to contact him anyway. He was talking about the Perkins account, and I know Jay Perkins doesn't like to mess around. I've handled stocks for him before, and he's not exactly what I would call understanding. Well, I don't want to interrupt your vacation. Love you!
--Alex
Great, Elaina thought to herself. An international account crisis the one time I try to go on vacation. I'd better try to page Jack.
Quickly, she posted herself online and sent an instant message to Jack. He came through on visual response. "Lainie, I thought you were out of town!"
"What's that?" Jeremy asked, and everyone else turned in surprise to look at Elaina's talking lap.
Elaina reached for her earpiece and stuck it in her ear without answering Jeremy. She hadn't expected him to reply on visual, and the only microphone with her was the one built in to her laptop. "I am, Jack. I'm somewhere in upstate New York right now. Alex told me something's wrong." She tried to hide her embarrassment talking to him in front of everyone else.
Jack chuckled. "No visual. It's strange talking to a graphic. Anyway, yes, there's a problem with the Perkins account."
Elaina frowned. "What could be wrong? I talked to him this afternoon. In fact, he stayed on the line most of my drive down here. He said everything was perfect."
"Well, apparently after that conversation, he decided to change his mind. He now wants to invest four million in the Carter Project and two in the Bartok Exchange."
Elaina knew he was holding back. "Jack, that wouldn't be a problem worth calling me about."
"No, that's not the problem." Jack paused for a moment. "Do you remember the Swiss deal from a few months ago?"
"Yes, they were such nice people."
"Nice to you, Elaina, but you're the only one they liked. We couldn't have worked that deal at all without you."
Elaina blushed mildly, even though Jack couldn't see her. "Oh Jack, that's not true."
"No really. Anyway, Perkins wants in on that Swiss deal. He heard about it from someone, and now he wants a piece."
"But it's a closed deal."
"Right, so the problem is, we're out of pieces, and he wants to pull everything out if he can't get his hands in on that."
"But Jack, that's impossible. They'll never let anyone in."
"That's the thing." He hesitated. "Like I said, Lainie, you're the only one they like, and I think you could convince them to let another investor in."
"Jack, I don't think it'll work."
"It has to, Lainie. Otherwise, we lose six million dollars, not to mention what he'll put into the Swiss account."
"And what is that, Jack?"
"Seventeen million."
"What?!" Elaina nearly knocked her notebook out of her lap. "Are you kidding? I've been working with him for months, and he never mentioned those kinds of assets!"
"Apparently, he keeps it secret, but he's worth much more than we thought." Again Jack delayed.
"What's wrong, Jack?"
"Well, he said he'll only use this money if you're in charge of the deal." He smiled. "You're a popular girl, Lainie."
Elaina smirked. "So that's why he kept rambling on today." She pulled up her calendar and began typing. "All right, Jack. You got me. I'll go meet with Mr. Perkins on the 26th, and I'll leave for Switzerland on the 29th. How's that for you?"
He stalled on the other end.
"Jack?"
"That's the last problem, Elaina. The DuValle's are breaking ground next week, and they're leaving that morning to vacation in the Cote d'Azur. They're not going to change investment plans after that." He paused. "I'm sorry, Lainie. I didn't want to ruin your vacation, but this is really important. I was going to pull Cassandra in on it, but it's you they want, and I don't think they'll take anyone else."
Elaina sat silent for a moment. She had been looking forward to this trip for a long time, and she knew Allie would be disappointed if she left, but there'd be other times. She couldn't miss out on this, nor could she leave Jack—-not to mention the company—-with his hands tied.
She began typing and pulling up maps and charts. "O.K., Jack, but I'm not doing any of the grunt work. Give me two days. Here's where I'll be: my brother's cabin in the Adirondacks just north of Raquette Lake. Find the nearest airport, directions to it, and get me on the earliest flight available to connect me to JFK to leave for Switzerland. Tell the DuValle's I'll meet them in Munich on Tuesday, which means I'll have to actually be there on Tuesday. That way, I can have my weekend, and we'll still have our deal." Jack was typing away on the other end of the connection. "Did you get all that?" she smiled happily.
"Yep, you'll be on a flight by Sunday evening. I'll get back to you with the details, and I'll see you in Melbourne on Thursday."
"Melbourne?"
"Of course." Jack grinned widely. "Once you finish this deal, I'll have to make you a junior partner, and it's only protocol to take you out to dinner to congratulate you."
Elaina was beaming. "Well, let's make the deal first, all right? You can congratulate me later."
"I don't doubt you, Elaina."
"Thanks, Jack. I'll talk to you soon."
"Oh, Elaina?" Jack stopped her before signing off.
"Yes?"
"Thank you." She could hear the sincerity in his voice, and she knew how important this was to him.
"It's no problem, Jack."
"And I promise you'll get a real vacation for your honeymoon."
Elaina's smile turned to exasperation. "That is, if this wedding ever gets off the ground!"
Elaina didn't notice Jeremy wince next to her as she said the word "wedding," but he didn't know how hard it was for her to say it.
Jack laughed. "It'll all be fine, and you'll make a beautiful bride. I'll talk to you soon, Lainie." And with that, he signed off.
Elaina began typing wildly, pulling up charts and statistics and figures from the DuValle account. She couldn't waste any time. She also had to contact Jay Perkins before she left for Switzerland, so she sent out a memo to him as well. She e-mailed her brother to get her a rental car and notified Alex that she would be in JFK Airport on Sunday evening if he wanted to meet her there for her layover, though she'd have to get back to him on the details. Elaina worked madly with her earpiece still in her ear, unaware of the disproving glares being cast in her direction, but no one said a word to her.
Go on to Chapter 3 of "Elaina"
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