By the time they had reached Justin Sholbreier's cabin, it was 10:30 p.m., and the whole group seemed exhausted. As everyone piled out of the vehicles and began unloading the things necessary for that night, Elaina simply grabbed her briefcase and laptop and ran for her brother who had e-mailed her back shortly before they had arrived. He met her at the door, they exchanged a quick hello, and he led her inside.
"Geez, Lainie," Justin laughed. "This is some vacation you're taking."
"Hey, you can't talk," Elaina jeered back. "This is your vacation cabin, yet you have full internet and fax capabilities here, and I know you never leave home without your electronics either."
"Well, you got me there," Justin poked her playfully in the arm. "I guess it's just in the genes!" Justin went to help the others into their rooms and left Elaina to the computer.
Elaina stood dressed in a white gown, staring into the large, ominous church. Everyone was sickeningly pastel, and Elaina felt uncomfortable. The bridal march began, and she started down the aisle. Everyone stood and looked at her as if she were some sort of artwork. Though she loved attention, this was making her ill. There were the relatives she hadn't seen in years, her best friend from fifth grade, still looking like she did at sixteen, the last time Elaina had seen her. There sat some of her clients, the woman she had set next to on the plane to Italy last summer, and Elaina's cousin with three women, one of which was Elaina's roommate from college. As Elaina walked up the aisle, she saw every guy she had dated in college, every handsome face she had ever admired, and she dreaded more and more making it to the pulpit. Carefully and uncomfortably, she scanned each face in the crowd, and neither Jeremy nor Alex was among the spectators. Then the strangest thing entered her mind. Who is at the end of the aisle?
The groom, the man she was about to marry, stood facing the pastor—whom she could have sworn was the priest out of her favorite movie—without moving a muscle. The pastor smiled at her as she proceeded down the aisle that seemed to be miles long, miles full of attractive, mannerly callers whom she hated to leave behind. Still, no Alex, no Jeremy. Was the man standing at the front of the cathedral really worth letting go of all these?
Finally, she had reached the end of the aisle, and her maid of honor (who was actually a co-worker from a job she'd worked in college) lifted Elaina's veil, and again, the aggravating over-imposing smile that everyone was giving her. It mad her even more uncomfortable each face that she saw. And finally, the groom turned to her, and as his face came into view, Elaina felt a scream rising within her. Her face went stark white and contorted with fear, anger, and bewilderment as she saw and recognized the man standing before her, grinning so widely he seemed like a cartoon. It was a man she had gone to undergraduate college with who had once drugged her in a bar, and his face reminded her only of those feelings of ignorance, loss of control, oppressiveness, and humiliation which had plagued her from the night of the drugging.
"Now, Elaina, is that any way to look at the man of your dreams?" the crazed man asked with pure astonishment. "Come on, we're getting married now." He reached for her hand.
"No," Elaina pushed him away. "No! Where's Jeremy?"
The man laughed and jerked on her arm like a pull-string. "Just smile, Elaina. It'll be fine once it's all over."
"No!" Elaina shrieked. "I won't do it. Where's Jeremy?"
Little by little, the crowd began to snicker, then chuckle, and then the whole congregation laughed uproariously. She could hear comments by people nearby.
"Jeremy? Like he would marry the likes of you!" an old woman from the church in her hometown cackled.
"Jeremy wouldn't be here for the world!" a cousin.
Next was a door-to-door salesman she had sent away a short time ago. "Jeremy would never marry you."
"What happened to Alex?" she cried. "What have I done to him?"
"You lost him, sweetie," a little old lady she didn't even recognize pointed at Elaina from her seat in a pew. "You walked over him like a cheap rug."
"No!" Elaina couldn't breathe. The mob was crowding closer and closer, bullying her and mauling her and badgering her to marry this strange man.
Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone standing solemnly outside the mass. She turned her head to see him better, though the crowd had her pinned in place so that she couldn't turn. Somehow, over the din of the people, she heard him speak. "Go ahead, Lainie. You'd better take what you can get." Jonathan stood just behind her with his baby girl in his arms. "It's better to settle than to not have anyone." The sadness on his face tore her insides in two.
"No, Jonathan. No!" she screamed. "What about love? What about happiness?" Elaina felt herself becoming hysterical. "I'm sorry, Jon! Why did you do it? I can't marry like this! Why isn't Jeremy here?"
People were crowding around her, pushing her toward the evil, repressive man who stood before her, pulling her arms, her hair, her dress, telling her she should marry him, that he was the only one she could have now—-
Now? What had happened? What had she done? There was no Jeremy nor any Alex. Where were they?
Then suddenly, they both appeared in the doorway to the church, the light behind them showing only their silhouettes, but she knew it was them. Who else could it be?
"Jeremy!" she cried. "Alex!" But the crowd wouldn't let her go.
The two men stepped forward so that she could see their faces. Alex looked sad and forlorn. It was as if he wore a broken heart on his face. Jeremy's face was angry and bitter, and his whole body seemed tense while Alex stood limply beside him.
"How could you do it, Elaina?" Alex's voice seemed small and weak, but she could hear him clearly. What have I done?
"You just have to have things your way, don't you?" Jeremy's voice was cold and heartless. "Now, you've lost it all. I hope you're happy."
No... No... "No, Jeremy!" she fought madly to get away from the smothering hands. "Alex! No, I'm not happy. I'm not happy!" The people pulled harder and harder, and she couldn't get away from their grasp. "Jeremy, don't leave me! Please! I'll die. Take me away from here! Please, Jeremy! I'm not happy! I'm not happy! Take me away from here! I'm not happy!" Her words repeated over and over as the two men stood motionless in the door. The words of the crowd were now only a dull roar as the sickening groom tried to force her to take her vows. "Jeremy! Take me away from here! Please! I'm not happy!"
"You did this, Elaina. You did this." The fact that Jeremy just stood there and watched was some extreme torture she couldn't bear.
"No, Jeremy, no!" Her cries were turning to exasperated whimpers. "What did I do? I can't live without you. Please, take me out of here. I won't be happy. Jeremy, please—-"
"Elaina."
"-—I'm not happy, Jeremy. Take me away from here—-"
"Elaina."
The people were shaking her. She felt herself becoming weaker as the cartoon-grinning man stood in front of her laughing. Her eyes moved from him to the broken figure of Jonathan, her best friend, to that of Alex, her broken-hearted ex, to that of Jeremy. "-—Please, Jeremy. Take me away. I'm not happy—-"
"Elaina!"
Elaina jerked upright. Jeremy stood next to the computer desk where she had apparently fallen asleep while working.
"Elaina, are you o.k.?" He crouched down next to her, one arm still on her shoulder from shaking her.
Elaina stared wide-eyed at him and then around the room as things started to come into place. "You're not mad at me."
Jeremy smiled, "Why would I be?"
"I didn't do anything."
Jeremy gave her a quizzical look.
"I'm not married."
Jeremy sighed. "It was a dream, Elaina. It's going to be fine."
"A dream?" Elaina took a deep breath, "A dream." She let it out with relief.
"Well, I guess it was more like a nightmare the way you were yelling."
"Yelling?" She was suddenly apprehensive again as she remembered what she'd been yelling.
"Yes, that's why I came in here to wake you up. I'd fallen asleep on the couch, and when you started yelling, it woke me, and I came to see what was wrong."
Inside, she let out another sigh of relief as she realized that he had been the only one who had heard. "What time is it?"
"About five," Jeremy answered. "Why don't you lay down for a while?"
As Elaina began to come closer and closer to really being awake, she realized suddenly that sleeping on one's arm on a desk is not very therapeutic for one's spine. She reached up to rub her neck as the pain twisted her face.
"Come on," Jeremy prodded. "How about a little neck rub to help you relax?" He began leading her from her chair in the den to the couch in the living room.
"No, really, I'm o.k." Elaina insisted, though she didn't resist, and she was soon sitting in front of him on the couch, letting him work away the tension in her muscles.
"Hey, the way I figure it, I owe you quite a few of these."
Elaina smiled as she thought of the countless massages she'd given him for his legs, shoulder, and back. "Yeah, I guess you do." She closed her eyes, letting his fingers melt away the nightmare she'd had.
End of Chapter 3 not yet posted...
Go on to Chapter 4 of "Elaina"
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