The Pond, Anaheim, CA

(The usual EWC pyros explode across the stage, and the fans give their
usual apprciative nutzo pop.  We see signs around the arena:  "Grendel's
gonna KILL YOU!", "Tag Tean CHUMPS of the North", and the ever popular
"___________ SUCKS!" as things die down for a moment...

[PA SYSTEM]
Lets get crazy......

<>


Welcome everyone to another edition of EWC Lords of the Ring.  I
am Isaac Cross, and the guy they finally managed to stick me
with on color commentary.....is Jeremy Byron


BYRON!!! After the reaction my commentary got at Hot Summer Night,
you can start calling me Jeremy Buyrate!! EWC, your own personal
ratings MAGNET is back, and better than ever...


And in case you haven't figured it out, for those that missed
HSN, you missed a HELL of a WAR between Fuego and now the NEW
EWC World Champion, Ernie Grendel.


And Grendel has taken on a whole "Mad as hell" statement that I'm 
beginning to dig.  He put Fuego on the shelf for FOUR WEEKS as a 
result of what may be the ugliest move ever...

$$$$$$$$$  (Shot of Grendel and Fuego on the top rope, Grendel grabs
$EWC CAM$   Fuego's leg and dragon screws him off the top rope through
$$$$$$$$$   a ringside table)


A VERY agressive Ernie Grendel that night, but you have to be to go 
after the gold, ESPECIALLY from the jungle warrior Fuego.

<>

[Ernie]
[conversationally] It's not as if I didn't make my position 
clear... I said I'd take your leg, *and* your title... and 
I've done both... 

<>

[Ernie]
So Fuego... I have one word for you: Rehab. It's been my friend 
for three years, and now it can be *your* friend as well. 

<>


OOOH, cheap shot by Ernie.  I gave him that line.

 (sotto voce)
I can see this is going to get very annoying very quickly....

[Ernie]
So now, I've got this really heavy chunk of leather and gold.. and
chrome.. and brass... and pot metal... oh let's be honest...
[he chunks it into the center of the ring and pulls himself upright
to walk over to where it lands] It isn't the actual value of the 
materials that go into the belt... it's the number of people who 
have become hopelessly maimed and crippled in the pursuit of it...

<>

[Ernie]
And who better to talk about being hopelessly maimed and crippled
than me? Good ol' Ernie "Let's make an example of him" Grendel, hah?

<>

[Ernie]
Doctor Feelgood... he's gone... Parker... he's gone... Mikhael... he's 
gone but that's for mental anguish... the list never really gets 
shorter, does it? [He holds the belt up over his head.] Well gang, 
someone's gone to the trouble of engraving "Ernie Grendel" on the 
little removable bit of tin, so that when I come BACK from rehab in 
two weeks I can damn near kill myself AGAIN for your amusement... 

<>

 
I don't understand this....why is Ernie acting this way?


You have to ask WHY!?!?  How many Captain Insano stip matches have
both our boss and his daddy put Ernie through?  Just because he's
from Cut 'n Shoot, and they like it that way?  I think Ern's had 
enough of this.

 
I don't like the look in his eyes...I'm not afraid to say it scares me
a little...

[Ernie]
But don't worry, oh no no... I'll be around. See, while the doctors that
this wonderful organization in which I'm slowly killing myself say I 
can't do anything *in* the ring, there's nothing that says that the 
EWC Champ can't wander around causing trouble in other capacities... 
like commentary. Now *there* is something I haven't done yet. Maybe 
I'll get creamed by someone trying to emulate me, yeah?

[Ernie tosses the belt out onto the announce table]

[Ernie]
Move over, gang. Your Beloved Champion, Ernie "Death Wish" Grendel, 
is coming over for dinner...

[PA System]
Fuego's gonna kill you.....

<>


Where is he?  That's Fuego's music, but where's Fuego?


He can't be here....hell, he can barely walk....wait a minute, I 
thought so..

 
Fuego just came onto the Solotron...

<>

[Fuego]
Grendel, I have a few things to say to you, first...congratulations.  
You pinned me, in the ring, one on one--at Hot Summer Nights you were 
the better man.  But I'm not here to give you roses and teddy bears, 
I'm not here to pop open champagne or even to talk about whether I 
respect you--what I'm really here to do is to thank you.  That's 
right Grendel, you took my title, you knocked me out of wrestling 
for a month, and I want to thank you.

Why?  Because you reminded me of something very important, something 
I had forgotten.  You made me remember my roots.  Right before our 
match you showed the clip of my KWF debut--I stepped into the ring 
and nonchalantly crippled a 70 year old man.  Why?  Because I needed 
to.  Because I had set my sights on something, I was on hunt and I 
was doing anything and everything I needed to capture my prey--the 
KWF world title.  Several years, and many pints of blood, have passed 
since then and somewhere along the way I became a fraud, a caricature 
of who I really was.  Leaving the ER the other night I looked in the 
mirror and all I saw was brooding, all I saw was huffing and puffing...
all I heard was that damn catchphrase.  Well the Fuego who knocked 
the crap out of Solo, the Fuego who broke Bo Barnes leg, that old 
Fuego never would have gotten jumped by you because HE
ALREADY WOULD HAVE KNOCKED YOUR ASS OUT WITH A BAMBOO STAFF!!!  
THAT Fuego, the one with all the belts, would have LEFT YOU DROWNING 
in your own sweat and blood.  That man, the one who I looked at with 
pride is lost. Unfortunately for you, I'm off to go find him.

Grendel, enjoy the next four weeks, they're yours to do with as you 
wish. But after that I'm coming for you, on my time, on my 
terms--you've been warned you're going to be hunted.  Next time around, 
"Fuego's" not going to kill you...he'll already be dead...and that's 
bad for you since the man I'm bringing back is so much worse...

<<"Rusty Cage" comes back on as Ernie nonchalantly rolls over the top 
rope, grabs the belt, and walks back to the dressing room>


Fuego making a major statement as he's basically told Ernie he's got 
four weeks.


Oh, PLEASE, that's the easiest thing to do from a hospital bed.  Fuego, 
face facts, someone out-SAVAGED your monkey-loving *bleep*, and you're 
just bitter as all hell.  Back in the KWF, you were somebody.  Now, 
you're garbage, and in four weeks, Grendel's going to sweep up 
the remains.


We're going to the back now, it's Nick Duncan!

<>

[Nick]
What kind of swill is this?!?!?!?!?


Comments from Duncan, and the debut of "Timelord" Clay Evans, NEXT!!

****************************************************
* COMMERCIALS:  -Fram Auto Filters		   *
* 		-Burger King College Footbal promo *
*		-Dawson's Creek/Charmed            *
****************************************************

[Cut to the back where EWC.com 's Ryan stands by.]

[Ryan]
Joining me at this time, the man who has a shot at the TV title
tonight...

[Nick Duncan comes over and swipes the mic from him.]

[Duncan]
Shut up kid, I'm not in a good mood.  And why am I not in a good mood?
BECAUSE I CAN'T GET MY COFFEE!  I have to put out with that mud
with extra water that they call 'coffee' back here.  Not only do I 
not get my cup of joe, but I was robbed of the triple crown at Hot 
Summer Night. There's only one reason why I lost that match and that 
reason is you, Doctor Dumbo. I make a legal tag, the big idiot does 
get in the ring, I get jumped from behind by that coward Omega who 
then pins me, and mind you, I've tagged out of the match, so it 
shouldn't have even counted.  Omega, enjoy that belt for now because 
once you get in the ring with me one and one, I will throw you all 
over that building. And Dr. Dumbo, your payback comes a little 
quicker, but not by my hands, but at the hands of my good friend 
C-Jack Stone.  And if I find that fan who has my belt... so help me....

So that leads to tonight.  Collins, you know, I got no beef 
with you.  You can pretend to be Jesus all you want... but 
now you hold a title that I'm more than willing to take off of
you.  And if you get in my way, I'll make a martyr out of you.

@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@

[PA]
You're UN-BE-LIE-VABLE!!  OOOOOHHHHH!

<<"Unbelievable" by EMF kicks in, and we see Stevie M coming down
to ringside, wearing a T-shirt that says "Who's the King, Baby?">>


We are back, and it seems that Nick Duncan is *snicker* having a little
caffeine fit back in the back.


Isaac, I am shocked and ashamed that you would make fun of a man who
obviously has an addiction problem.  Nick Duncan is addicted to
quality Starbucks coffee, and to force him to swill down that sewer
refuse the EWC calls coffee is a crime.  That's bad news for Joshua
Collins...*NEVER* fight a man who is on caffeine withdrawl.


Meanwhile, we've got the returning Stevie M heading to the ring
right now...


That's Mauritz, Cross.  Read your memos.  He wants to be called Steve
Mauritz.


Regardless, we get to see him in singles action tonight against none
other than the debuting "Timelord" Clay Evans.  We have a clip from
Mr. Evans right now, so lets go to that.


@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@
(A panoramic view of the English countryside is shown, and a voiceover 
is heard.)

[V/O] 
It's been a long time, hasn't it. I was a very foolish fellow
when I was in your country before, but I went elsewhere, broadened my
horizons.. and now I'm back. I have something to prove to each and 
every one of you.

(Someone steps from behind a rather large tree... it's the former
"Timelord", Clay Evans. Not a single trace of emotion is seen.)

[Evans]
Hello again, America. You laughed me out of your country 
before, and rightly so. I was a showboating child, and deserved 
nothing but your derision. I am "Timelord" no more, my friends. 
When I left your shores, I went to Mexico and immersed myself in the 
rich tradition of lucha libre. I left Mexico after a time, and went 
to Japan to learn even more. But now it is time for me to return. 
Return I shall, because even now, those who would do the work of 
injustice are still my sworn enemies. But instead of indulging
in the exuberant pretension of masquerading as a fictional 
character, I will now simply break you. It's as simple as that, 
really.

Heed me well. There is far too little of the sweet science that is
true *wrestling* left, anymore. Everyone, it seems, swings chairs 
and brandishes tables. While I can do that, and will if provoked, 
I prefer to make those who would do the work of injustice realize 
their folly by making them cry out in pain.

Indeed... there is one among you whom I've already marked for 
destruction, the so-called "Philosopher". Tszkova, what you have 
done to far too many is coming back to haunt you. Prepare yourself, 
Tszkova. You will be the first. God help you.

(Turns and walks away as we fade to black)
@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

<<"Snap Your Fingers/Snap Your Neck" by Grinspoon comes on and 
Evans walks out, a short, muscular man with very few frills about
him>>


What's so funny?


Oh, PLEASE...the EWC wastes a location shoot on some jobber from
a long-dead federation who does a Dr. Who gimmick?  What's next,
a tag team called the Sliders? 


Clay Evans has spent the past several years in both Mexico and Japan,
and has garnered a reputation as one of the toughest opponents of
many men.  I think he'll surprise you.


Well, hell, *ANYONE* can look good against this jobroni Mauritz.
2 Cool Dudes?  2 Low Ratings is more like it.

MATCH 1: Steve Mauritz vs. Clay Evans

Mauritz and Evans slap hands to begin the match, then tie up.  Mauritz
shows some good technical skill in a brief game of "lets reverse each
others holds" but Evans finally gets the better with a nice belly
to back suplex, followed by a rolling hamstring stretch on Mauritz,
then a knee clip as Mauritz got to his feet before settling in
on a kneelock.  Mauritz kicks him off, kips to his feet and leapfrogs
the rebounding Evans, then hits an armdrag takedown into an armlock.
Evans gets to his feet, reverses the armlock with an armtwist on 
Mauritz, Mauritz reverses that, hits a firemans carry takedown on
Evans, and goes back to the armbar.  Evans kips up to his feet,
reverses again and goes for a short-arm clothesline, but Mauritz
ducks and springboards off the ropes with a cross bodyblock that's
good for a 2 count.  

Mauritz picks up Evans, goes behind for a waistlock, then tries for
a German suplex, but Evans falls behind, lands on his feet, and 
goes for his own German suplex, but Stevie flips back and lands on 
the second rope, comes off with a bulldog.


EXCELLENT reversal by Mauritz there, as both men so far seems to be
very evenly matched in terms of the ground game.  Mauritz now with a
irish whip to the buckles....and turns and asks the fans what they 
think?


IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THE FANS THINK!!!  Mauritz turns around...
and Evans dodges and  Mauritz rams his knee right into the steel 
buckles..and THAT'S what giving a damn about these morons gets you.


TOUGH break for Mauritz there, as Evans follwing right up with a
dropkick to the knee, and now following in with another charging
kneeclip, and the former "Timelord" showing sound strategy here.


Yeah..."Beat up on the body part your opponent injures for you"
That takes months of research....


Evans following up with a half crab, trying to get the knee more
twisted than usual...Mauritz makes it to the roeps, but Evans
yanks him back out from the ropes by the leg, not only causing
Mauritz to bounce off the mat, but also further wrenching his leg
Evans waits for Mauritz to get up, goes for a leg lariat, but 
Mauritz ducks under it and hits an enziguri from behind, but he
landed on his bad knee, so both men are slow to get up.

Mauritz is there first, comes off the ropes and hits a flying forearm
that sends Evans through the ropes.  Mauritz takes a moment to walk off
the knee a bit as Evans gets to his feet and comes back in.  Mauritz
meets him at the ropes, slingshots him back in, but Evans lands on 
his feet and enziguri's Mauritz from behind.  Evans grabs Mauritz's
legs, yanks him to the center ring, and tries to lock on the 
"Dematerialization" Scorpion Deathlock...but Mauritz with a 
small package for the one...two....reversed by Evans..one...two...
three!!!

WINNER:  Clay Evans, by pinfall  5:54


And a great debut here by Clay Evans, getting the pinfall victory
on Steve Mauritz

$$$$$$$$$  Evans now, this was after the enziguri, locks up Mauritz
$EWC CAM$  for the Scorpion, Mauritz gets a small package in..but here's
$$$$$$$$$  Evans REVERSING it for the one...two...three.


And now Evans and Mauritz shaking hands in the center of the ring...
please, he beat you, you should be cheapshotting him....MY GOD, HE
DID!!!! YEAH STEVIE!!!!


Mauritz with a low blow as Evans turned around, and now Stevie
laying kicks and stomps on the fallen Evans.  What a sore loser!!!


Hey, in this business, it's not the wins, it's not the losses, it's
how many losers you can nail to the crosses, and it looks like
Mauritz just got his hammer out!

<>


Waitaminute...that's Tom Mahoney, Steve's former tag team partner.
He's known to the fans as Tommy B. Cool...and now Tom talking to
Stevie in the ring...he's still got a neckbrace on from several
weeks ago when he was taken out by Siouxnami.


And leave it to this milkfed prelim bum to bust up a perfectly good
beatdown.

<>


It's hard to make out what's going on down there, we've only got
the camera mics to go with, Mauritz is looking very frustrated.
Finally, Tommy's got a mic in his hand, maybe we can figure out
what's what here.

[Tommy]
Stevie... why are you acting like this? This isn't like you. So 
why are you doing this?



[Stevie]
Tommy, it's like this...


Mauritz tosses the mic..DEAR GOD!!!! SLINGSHOT HURCANRANA ON THE 
OUTSIDE

<>


YEAH!!! THAT'S MONEY, BABY!!!!  I think the fraternity just claimed
another member!!!

 
This is sick, Tommy Mahoney is laid out on the concrete..he was barely
recovering from his earlier neck injury, and Mauritz just dropped him
on his head again!!!!



[Stevie]
Tommy... don't mess with the merchandise, bay-bee!

 *clapping*
That's it, Stevie, you tell his no-talent *bleep* what's what!


I can't believe we're seeing this, Mauritz now yelling at the 
paramedics before heading to the back..fans, it's obvious that the
partnership of 2 Cool Dudes is now at an end.  Folks, Murder Inc.
is up NEXT!!!!

************************************************************
* COMMERCIALS:  -Chef Boyardee   			   *
* 		-Madden 2000.  EA Sports, it's in the game *
*		-Buffy season premiere next week    	   *
************************************************************

MATCH 2: Murder, Inc. vs. the Pendragons

Hawk and Sinclair come down first and are waiting in the ring with
referee Wayne Winans as Bruce Springsteen's "Murder, Inc." begins
to play. The "Assassin" and "Hitman" Haynes walk the aisle, completely
ignoring the boos and catcalls the audience rains down on them.  Winans
gives the pre-match warnings and all and then Spinelli and Sinclair 
start off. Sinclair reaches for a collar-and-elbow, but Spinelli grabs 
the arm and applies an armwringer, followed by a nice quick bit of 
chain-wrestling as Sinclair reverses to a standing wrist-lock, 
Spinelli segues to an armbar, which Sinclair escapes by dextrously 
converting it to a hammerlock. Spinelli powers out of that, converting 
the hold to a headlock, prepratory to a bulldog, but Sinclair counters 
by picking Spinelli up and hitting a back suplex. 

Both men tie-up again and Sinclair hits an Irish whip followed-up with
a clothesline, a pick-up, and a whip into the corner to set-up a running
splash.  Sinclair then pulls Spinelli over and tags in Hawk, who puts 
on a short program of aerial moves until Spinelli hits a snap-kick to 
the groin setting-up a "Switchblade" snap suplex and a diving tag to 
bring in Terry Haynes. Haynes and Hawk do about 3 minutes of 
back-and-forth flying with neither man hitting more than 3 moves 
in a row until they both wind up spilled out on the floor after
Haynes hits a high cross-body on Hawks up against the ropes.  
Spinelli and Sinclair both move in to protect their respective
partners and a Pier-6 begins at ringside. Winans also comes out and 
ineffectually tries returning the action to the ring, but winds up 
sandwiched between Justin Sinclair and the ringside barrier on a 
Spinelli whip.  

The "Assassin" then grabs a ringside chair and blind-sides Sinclair 
with three full-wind-up swings to the head as the medieval marvel 
is checking on the unconscious referee. Spinelli then goes on to 
Hawk and visciously jams the same chair right into the smaller
Pendragon's throat. That gives Haynes enough of an edge to keep Hawk
occupied while Spinelli revives the referee, rolls the semi-conscious
Sinclair into the ring and covers for a quick three count from the 
dazed and confused Winans.

WINNER: Murder, Inc., via pinfall,  7:22   


After the match, Spinelli and Haynes stay standing at ring-center, 
amid the hail of boos (and a small amount of trash), and Spinelli 
gets a mike passed in.

[Assassin]  
Shaddup...............I said SHADDUP................SHADDUP YA
BUNCHA NO-COUNT TRAILER-TRASH INBREDS!

(Needless to say, Spinelli's comments only generate more "cheap heat" 
boos, but, eventually, the crowd dies down to where he can actually be 
heard)

[Assassin] 
Dat's right people, like it or not, Murder, Inc. is back in
town, back in gear, and soon, we'll be back on top too.  An' we 
don't give a rat's ass what you people here in.........hey, Terry, 
where da hell ARE we, anyways?

[Hitman]
Jacksonville, Florida, Frank...no, waitaminnit, I think 
I got dat wrong.... I think it's called......Jackassville.

<>

[Assassin]
Whadever, I don't care if it's Jacksonville, or Jackassvile or
anything else dey wanna call it....ta me it'll always be 
Jack*bleep*ville cuz dat's what it means ta me.

[Hitman]
And ta all our "old friends" here in da EWC....

[Assassin] 
....da lunatics called Beyond Our Control....

[Hitman]
....the pair of freaks who are da Weapons of Last Resort...

[Assassin]
...or even this new couple a pansys called da Wave Runners....

[Hitman]
....if you think we mellowed out while we was gone...

[Assassin]
....if you think we lost our edge....

[Hitman]
...if you think you got a chance in hell when you get in da ring
    with us...

[Both] (together):
....FUGEDDABOUDIT!

  When we come back, the TV Title is on the line, NEXT!!!

    Source: geocities.com/e_w_c_2000