<<"Fuel" by Metallica comes on as the crowd shows it's displeasure.....>>
We are back live now, and we've got the World TV title match coming up, as a VERY
focused and determined "Nuclear" Nick Duncan is on his way down to the ringside
area.
And you know something, I predict Nick Duncan as a winner for two reasons. One,
he's *livid* about losing that 3 way at Hot Summer Night, and is looking for some
payback. And two, because Collins has that no-account tramp Mississippi Queen
accompanying him, and she's nothing but bad luck.
Byron, how can you say that?!?!? Mississippi Queen has been nothing but a class
act since the day I met her. She's TR Parker's *WIFE*, for crying out loud.
My point exactly! She's not gonna spend nights at home with "The Sputter" when
she can be touched by the "Hand of God"! Face it, she'd be a five-dollar whore,
except I hear on good authority she accepts frequent-flyer miles.
I think I miss Vanessa Stone already...Fans, we have these comments from
Joshua Collins....
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
[Scene: a locker room. The only light being given is from several candles scattered
throughout the room. Laying on a bench in the foreground is Joshua Collins.]
[Joshua Collins]
Nicholas Duncan ... you seem to have carved quite a niche for yourself. Yes, Nicholas,
I have been paying attention ... do not mistake my recent silence for apathy. That's
just one of many lessons I will be dispensing to you tonight.
You're a young man Nicholas, so I do not know if you remember my time in the AWA. I
hope you do. If you don't, perhaps you should ask Tyrus ... *chuckling*
I'm sure Tyrus remembers it well. Perhaps the fair maiden may offer some insight too,
as she has ...special ... insight into me.
Life offers us many lessons, Nicholas. Some, unfortunately, are more painful than others.
[Joshua chuckles as we fade to black]
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
<<"Am I Evil" by Diamond Head comes on and Collins gets a semi-decent pop, with
the Queen getting an even bigger one from the men>>
And here comes the Television champion, along with the Mississippi Queen, and
one thing I will grant you is that Collins has been as mysterious as ever.
It's obvious that he and Queen have some sort of business relationship now, but
Queen has been VERY friendly on camera as of late....
And off-camera she's been downright sinful!!! It's the truth, and you heard it
here first! Look at the facts...every match she's been involved in as of late
has resulted in a loss for her team because of some stupid mental error.
You also have to admit, however, that somehow she's got TR Parker as the special
referee for the match that Collins won the TV title from, so she's still had
some effectiveness as a manager. We've got the bell ringing, and referee Ray
Chapman is signaling both men center ring.
@@@@@@@@@
@MATCH 3@ Joshua Collins vs. "Nuclear" Nick Duncan (EWC TV Title Match)
@@@@@@@@@
Collins came out first offering a handshake, which Duncan laughed at and brushed off.
The opening moments saw Duncan taking the early advantage with power moves, tossing
the smaller Collins across the ring after a collar and elbow tieup. Collins simply
smiled as he got up. They tie up again, Collins shifts to a headlock, then falls
down while still holding the headlock. Duncan slides out and applies a headlock
of his own. Collins gets to his feet while still in the headlock, sends Duncan
to the ropes. Duncan knocks him down with a shoulderblock, then comes off the
opposite ropes. Collins drops down, comes up and armdrags Duncan, then again,
and then a third time sends Duncan through the ropes.
And Collins showing very solid mental aptitude not letting the bullying tactics
of Nick Duncan get to him.
The problem with that is sooner or later Collins is going to get tired tossing around
a man 30-40 pounds heavier than he is. Once that happens, Duncan is going to
get the upper hand.
Duncan rolls back in, they tie up again, Duncan applies a hammerlock, then hits a
couple of punches to the back...Collins with a back elbowsmash, comes off the ropes,
slides under Duncan, Collins up, Duncan with a nice Northern Lights Suplex
on Collins, sending Collins out of the ring after impact. Collins take a
moment, confers with the Queen, then rolls back into the ring.
They tie up again, with both men trading armtwists until Duncan falls back
and monkeyflips Collins over him...Collins lands on his feet, pulls free of
Duncan, and stomps him right in the face. Duncan comes up, holding his cheekbone,
and Collins grabs Duncan's arm and hits a shortarm back elbowsmash that sends
him down. Collins with a falling headbutt and a cover for a 2 count.
Collins now settling in on a rear chinlock, and this may not look effective, but
it does wear down the back and neck muscles of an opponent.
Cross, in all my years, I have *never* seen a rear chinlock be a deciding factor
for a match, so save the drama. I wanna see someone take it in the family
jewels here. It's never a match without a nice stiff cheapshot, I always say.
Collins rides the chinlock for about a minute, until Duncan manages to pushup to
his knees. Collins drops a couple of knees into the back of Duncan, then
picks him up for a swinging neckbreaker...but Duncan spins around with him, comes
back to the original position, and shoves Collins back into the turnbuckles.
Charge by Duncan, and Collins moves, with Duncan ramming chest first into the
turnbuckles. Collins with a belly-to-back suplex, Duncan falls behind him and
sends Collins over the top rope with a released German suplex.
Duncan follows out, grabs Collins and whips him backfirst into the apron. He
then bearhugs Collins and rams him backfirst again into the apron. He tosses
Collins back in, then follows in with some stomps to the back. Duncan picks
up Collins...gutwrench suplex and a cover for a 2.
Duncan not letting up here, he's on the mat and locking up Collins into a
boston crab...I don't think Collins is ready to give up the TV title this
quickly though.
Even if he's not, this is still going to wear him down. Pressure on that
already hurt back will eventually build up until you either tap out or
get used to life in a wheelchair. I still haven't seen a nad shot yet,
tho..I thought these guys were professionals!?!?!
Duncan holds the crab for close to two minutes, with Chapman checking the arm
and having it fall twice before Collins showed some life. Collins does
a pushup and handwalks over to the ropes, where Chapman forces the break.
In frustration, Duncan stomps on the back of Collins a couple of times, and picks
him up...double underhook DDT, and another two count. Duncan then tells the
fans "That's it!!!!" and hooks Collins in the double underhook for the "Chain
Reaction...but Collins backdrops Duncan instead, and both men are on the
mat.
Duncan gets up first, sends Collins to the ropes, Collins ducks a clothesline
by Duncan, Duncan tries for a backdrop, but Collins blocks and turns it into
a facefirst piledriver. Rolls him over, 2 count. Collins grabs Duncan, Duncan
with a shot to the sternum, belly to belly suplex by Duncan, 2 count.
Duncan again tries for the "Chain Reaction", but Collins nails a low blow
to get Duncan off of him for a second, then rolls up a small package for an
almost but not quite 3. Collins with several stiff punches to the head and
body, then sends Duncan to the turnbuckles...Duncan reverses and sends Collins
the other way...smack right into the referee.
Referee is down in the ring, as Duncan charges Collins...and Collins ducks
under, Duncan turns around...boot into the gut followed by a STIFF DDT!!!
<>
Ouch..I have to admit, that was a pretty hard shot..but I took harder back
in the KWF just from his forearms. I hate to say this, but Collins has gotten
migh-ty soft in his old...NOW WHAT'S SHE DOING IN THERE!?!?!
Mississippi Queen on the ring apron trying to get the referee revived as Collins
heading for the top rope here...we could be seeing the swan dive headbutt righ..
OWWWW!!!
SEE?!!? SEE!?!?! RIGHT THERE!!!! Queen getting off the ring apron, and she slipped and
grabbed the top rope coming down!!! And that tripped up Collins, and now he hit
groin first on the top turnbuckle!! Jinx. I'm telling you!!!
That was an accident, she was getting out of Ray Chapman's way as he pulled himself
to his feet...and Duncan now with a forearm to the face...and he's got the
arms double underhooked....."CHAIN REACTION" OFF OF THE SECOND ROPE!!!!
That was sweet, the first revolution coming off of the ropes for added force...
and Duncan covering Collins!!! One....two...three!!! THERE IT IS BABY!!!!
###################################################
# WINNER: "Nuclear" Nick Duncan, by pinfall 8:12 #
# NEW EWC TV CHAMPION #
###################################################
Duncan celebrating in ring his first ever championship in professional wrestling..
unless you count that pinky ring he had...and Queen is beside herself now, checking
on Joshua Collins.
As well she should be, she cost Collins that match!!
You don't know that, Chapman was using the ropes too.
Look, there's a *difference* between using the ropes to pull yourself up and
then *yanking* the ropes, which is what Queen did when she slipped off the
apron. Bottom line, Queen is a danger to the men she manages, and I wouldn't
let her NEAR me if I ever wanted to win a match again.
Not that you have that much experience in that regard in the first place...lets
take another look at this...
$$$$$$$$$ Queen checking on the ref there as Collins got up to the top rope..
$EWC CAM$ and you see how both Ray Chapman *and* Queen were on the ropes, causing
$$$$$$$$$ Collins to slip and hurt himself on the top turnbuckle.
$$$$$$$$$ And there's Duncan, always in the right place at the right time, hooks
$EWC CAM$ both arms and hits the locomotion underhook off the second rope, and
$$$$$$$$$ rolls it over a couple more times before covering for the 1...2.....3.
The return of Ronnie Frown is *NEXT*
****************************************************
* COMMERCIALS: -Sega Dreamcast - it's thinking... *
* -Burger King College Footbal promo *
* -Pep Boys - cars like us, etc... *
****************************************************
@@@@@@@@@
@MATCH 4@ Titus Moongarden vs. Ronnie Frown
@@@@@@@@@
<<"So Far I have Not Found The Science" by Soul Coughing comes on, and the crowd
gives an appreciative if not overwhelming pop for Titus, who, after about 20
seconds of his music, finally meanders out of the back and down the aisle,
slapping hands with the fans as he goes.>>
Titus Moongarden on his way down to ringside, and he doesn't seem to be any
worse for wear following that blatant attack on him by "The Philosopher"
Mikhail Tzskova.
Hey, Mikky said from the start he didn't want wins, he wanted legs. He took
the leg of that old hack Feelgood, and he almost took Moongardens. Next
time, New Age Girl up there is gonna be short some cartilage, and Mikky is
gonna have a fresh set of initials on that stylin' sash of his.
<>
Oh dear god, there he is, straight off the mean streets of Harding, IL...
I wouldn't let him hear you say that, he is the Endurance King of the
EWC.
PLEASE, he lasted five minutes in that match, and talks that crooked piece
of garbage Mason Crow into restarting the match the next week!!!
Yeah...that match lasted over a week!! NO ONE ever did that.
<>
[Ronnie Frown]
{lifting mic} To state the bluntly obvious, Ronnie Frown is NOT in
his working duds tonight. {pause} That is because as far as I'm
concerned, this is supposed to be a DAY OFF for Ronnie Frown. I got
better things to do tonight than put up with living proof that free
love in the 60s was a bad idea ...
<<"RON-NIE SUCKS!" "RON-NIE SUCKS!">>
And let me tell you the sad facts of life, Mr. Moongarden -- right now
YOU have better things to do tonight than get into a ring with Ronnie
Frown when he doesn't want to be there. I know and you know that if
you're still here when the magic bell rings, I'm going to be forced to
take that drumstick of yours which your Russian penpal did a number
and two letters of the alphabet on, wrap it around your neck several
times until it pops off, beat you about the head and shoulders with
it, mail it to Alaska and kick in your rear to make you go fetch it!
And every second of your world of hurt 10,000 screaming leeches are
going to be telling themselves, "Gee, this is a really great show"
at your expense.
And that's what it comes down to, Moongarden -- lucky for you, that
sounds too damn much like work for me. So here's the deal -- you
tell Mr. Referee you can't fight this match, he raises my arm,
and we're both outta here in less than 60 beats. I can enjoy super
bonus day at the minigolf court, you can bundle up your bum leg
and suck down some holistic herbal tea crap and congratulate
yourself on being smarter than Dawson Up-a-creek.
<>
[Titus]
OK, so if you don't want to be here... then why are you here?
<>
I mean, if *you* don't feel like wrestling, hey, that's
cool... I mean, sometimes we all need to just take a break,
you know, sit back, reassess, take a good look at
ourselves... But I'm thinkin' if *you* don't feel like
being here, then let Jerry Riley over here know, and he'll let you
forfeit.
{Ronnie drops the golf club from his shoulders, pointing it at Titus's
midsection.}
Uh oh, hippiechick, now you did it...
[Ronnie]
{scowling} You gotta be more careful when you trim that mustache, Mr.
Moongarden, because I think you got some of the extra hair stuck in
your ears. I just showed you the one and ONLY ejections seat switch
out of the unpleasant situation called "Ronnie Frown Just Beat Me Up
And Stole My Leg In Case He Ever Needs A Spare!" I don't care what
kind of brain damage you're suffering from the narcotic-saturated
conception that brought you into this world, you have got to realize
that if-and-when you decide you don't want taken OUT of this world,
you're turning to that referee and saying "Count me out, Stripesy"
NOW!
<>
[Titus]
Hey, man -- I DO NOT do drugs! And, hey -- I'm not the
one who was talkin' about screaming leeches a minute ago. See, I think
*you're* the one on a trip here, Ronnie -- you're taking an ego trip, man, and
that one always ends with a crash! Yeah, I got one wheel a little low on air,
but I got one good wheel and two good wings (he briefly shows off his impressive
biceps)...
OH YEAH, FROWN'S HAD ENOUGH, he took a swing with the club at the leg..
Byron dodg...NO, FROWN UPSWINGS!! The club bridges right across Moongarden's
nose!!!!! And Moongarden is bleeding now as Frown tosses the club from the
ring...he's telling the ref to ring the bell now and this is just sick...
I am so enjoying this, I had forgotten just how much of a rotten bastard
Ronnie Frown can be.
Frown hooks the head of Moongarden...BITTER PILL Faceplant Suplex, and he got
260+ of Moongarden over......and he's screaming at the referee to count..one..
two...three!
#############################################
# WINNER: Ronnie Frown, by pinfall :24 #
#############################################
Frown standing over Moongarden, I'm sick of people taking advantage of this
kid's good nature.
He's gonna have to learn to watch his head if he's gonna survive in the
big bad world of professional wrestling....Oh, what's this goof doing?
JAY GILLETTE HAS THE GOLF CLUB, and he just took a swing at Frown, and
Frown heading for higher ground now!!!!! Gillette facing Frown for the
Cut 'n Shoot Heritage Title on the debut program of EWC Impact this weekend..
and Frown and Gillette having words for one another....fans, we're gonna cut
to this interview from the Wave Runners, and we'll be back...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(We're back in the locker rooms post-Hot Summer Nights with the Wave
Runners. Mark is lying down on a cot with bandages on his face and an
ice pack on his head. Greg is sitting down next to his partner
massaging some of his own bruises. Mark slowly stirs to life......)
[Mark]
Whoa, dude...... wha happun?
[Greg]
We got bum-rushed, li'l buddy..... big time.
[Mark]
Man.... all I remember is we were wrestling those Apocalyptic dudes.....
then some big heavy guys fell on me, then something went crack, and next
thing I know, I'm here.
[Greg]
Everybody went through a table at the end of the match, dude. You were
just about totally out of it.
[Mark]
Through a table?
[Greg]
Yep.
[Mark]
All FOUR of us?
[Greg]
Mm-hmm.
[Mark]
At the same time?
[Greg]
Sure did.
(Mark lays there motionless for a moment, then a Big Goofy Grin(tm)
spreads across his face.)
[Mark]
Dude! Can we do that again? That was awesome!
(Greg stares and blinks at his partner for a second.)
[Greg]
Uhhhhh..... sure! Lemme go ask 'em. Just sit tight, buddy....
(Greg leaves the room, followed shortly by SFX of a fight and things
being broken. Greg stumbles back into the room with a black eye and
bleeding from the nose.)
[Greg]
Well, I asked those dudes if they wanted to go at it again.
[Mark]
And......?
[Greg]
They said yes.
[Mark]
Excellent! Can't wait.
[Greg]
Cool...... um, you mind if I like, lie down here for a minute?
[Mark]
Oh no, not at all, dude. Take your time.
[Greg]
Thanks....
(Greg collapses in a heap on the floor as the camera starts to fade)
[Mark]
By the way, what's an Apocalypse?
[Greg]
I dunno.... I think it's the capital of Maryland....
(Black.)