MATCH #7: Curtis Stone vs. Dr. Destructo.

Stone is out first, alone, to "The House that Jack Built" by Metallica, all cock and
swagger.  Very classic heel in that he's playing to the crowd in a way that no sane 
person would expect a positive reaction to.  Very nice.  He's in the ring, and "Funeral
March" by Chopin comes on...Destructo gets a sizable pop out of it..the fans are kinda 
warming to him as a face.  Personally, I know he's a badass but everytime he's introduced
I keep expecting him to run down the Funny Five or to introduce the newest "Weird" Al
Yankovic clip.

Destructo rolls in and Stone nearly bowls over referee Wayne Winans in spearing
Destructo to the mat.  He stands up and gives the Heisman pose...only to get kicked
square in the nuts by Destructo to a loud pop.  Destructo gets to his feet swinging,
pasting the bejeezys out of Stone in the corner.  Irish whip to the other side
bounces Stone out backfirst to the ring, and Destructo nails a chop block to the
knee, knocking him down.  Picks him up, knifeedge across the chest of Stone..Stone
fires back with a slap onto the chest, and they trade back and forth for a few
shots until Stone goes for a lowish knee.  Grabs the head of Destructo, rams him 
into the turnbuckle.  WHip to the ropes, boot to the gut, Stone bounces off the 
other ropes for a football tackle, but Destructo ducks and backdrops him to the mat.
Destructo picks him up, gut-wrench suplex, 2 count.  Doc grabs the leg of Stone
and starts kicking the knee (This AGAIN?), then does a falling forward hamstring
stretch.  Grabs the leg, spinning toeholds him a couple of times, but on one spin,
Stone kicks him away and he goes shoulder first into the steel guardrail.

Stone takes over here, pulling him out of the corner, grabbing the hurt arm, and climbing
to the second rope to deliver a falling elbowdrop right onto the armpit, bending
the shoulder back in a painful way,  Kick, stomp, kick, stomp, trashtalk.  SERIOUS
trashtalk, Stone is almost offended that Destructo is down.  Picks up Destructo for
a high angle bodyslam right onto the arm, then comes off the ropes with a measured
kneedrop to the shoulder.  2 count. Picks Destructo up, dropkick to the turnbuckle.
Stone then goes for an irish whip, but doesn't let go of the arm, jarring his shoulder
as he stretches it out.  He does this two more times, and it hits me how Stone is making
some very simple, basic wrestling moves somewhat exciting and even innovative.  I
don't know *why* that hit me right then, especially since he follows that up with
a rest...err, submission hold, a shoulderclaw.  And for the first time in my life, 
I hear a "DOC-TOR D! DOC-TOR D!" chant to get him up and going.  After the prerequiste
drop the arm twice but it doesn't drop thrice schtick, Destructo does a classic hulkup,
which makes perfect sense to me given the shoulder claw was the move being used.

Elbowsmash to the gut with the bad arm doesnt have much effect...but the roundhouse
left with the good arm rings Stone's bells.  Another left, then a charging clothesline,
but Stone ducks and backdrops him over the top rope.  Stone takes a second to shake 
out the cobwebs...but Destructo trips him, causing him to fall facefirst onto the mat.
Destructo drags him out, chop to the chest, then a ram into the steel ringpost.
Destructo then grabs a chair *to a good pop, I might add*, but Stone football tackles him
low and Destructo falls face forward right onto his own chair.  Stone tosses him
back in, rolls in himself, and hits a gutbuster drop for 2.  Stone then sets Destructo
on the top rope, plays to the crowd a bit, then tries for the super spinebuster..
Destructo with a shot to the head, then jumps off into a Tornado DDT!!! Crowd pop.
Destructo covers...one...two...thrrrooooooh, so close.  Destructo up...Stone with a
low blow, then a double leg takedown for a pin...with Stone's feet BOTH on the ropes.
One..two...three.  Postmatch, Stone hits a chopblock to the knee from behind.
Picks him up, backbreaker.  He then rolls outside, grabs the chair that Destructo
pasted himself on before, then rolls in, winds up, aims for Destructo's back..and
then takes a nutshot by Destructo, dropping the chair.  Destructo grabs the chair,
waits for Stone to turn around, and PASTES him across the face, sending Stone over the 
top rope.  Referee's and officials pour out of the area and stand between the two,
but Destructo hoists the chair high to a BIIIIIIIG crowd pop.  Stone is shouting
threats, but eventually heads for the back.

They then cut to the Solotron..hey, it's FURIA!!!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-
(Camera opens on Furia in the locker room in his wrestler attire and
black mask doing military style pushups upside down against the wall....)

[Furia]
" 98... 99... 100. "

(He flips down from the handstand, grabs a towel and pats the sweat off
of what you can see of his forehead and his chest...)

[Furia]
"Hola amigos.  Mike Powers, as they say here in America, you won the
battle, but you haven't won the war.  Mikey, you stained one of my
favorite mascaras con mi sangre.    Miguel, yo soy muy enojado.  You
might have gotten the best of me Mikey, but you have a lot to learn about
Furia...You see, I have something you don't have.  Una corazon.  A heart
Powers.  I have heart and I have passion for what I do, and that's why I
have won the respect of the fans and you didn't, because you are a
pompous, egotistical little man.  I will see you once again at Hardcore
Homecoming, and Mikey, let's just see what happens then.
But on to more important things.  The brass has given me the privelage of
a TV Title shot.  Muchas gracias.  Nick Duncan, obviously you can fight,
you're the champ.  But you have not yet to feel the fury.  Duncan, as the
old saying goes...(obviously in a mocking tone)  Fight me, Arriba!  
It's time to Feel the Fury!"

(Camera cuts...)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-

And we wait a few minutes for a commercial.  They shill the new "Who Said That?
The Strutter Said That" T-shirt.

When we're back, it's Solotron time again, this time with a very irate C-Jack
Stone.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-
(Stone walks into an interview area.  Adrienne Solo looks to be ready to 
ask something, but Stone just grabs the microphone and gives her a look
that tells her to get out of the way)

[Stone]
It occurs to me you might be a little confused, self-Destructo ... it
occurs to me you just might not remember the days before you went
soft, that you might not know what just happened. So let me fill
you in -- you turned your back on C-Jack, and C-Jack played repo man
for your chiropractor!

You see, it's all about priorities. When you're the athlete 
responsible for bringing the twenty-first century wrestler to this
sport a few months ahead of schedule, you've got to keep a firm
grasp of the big picture. And the big picture puts C-Jack at 
Halloween Homecoming, against Damien Omega, last letter in the
alphabet and last wrestler who should EVER wear that belt. Now, 
my right-hand man Jon Owens softened him up a bit  tonight, but since
by some miracle of modern theology Damien escaped HIM, I will have the
awesome responsibility of finishing the job in Florida ... and
that means I couldn't give YOU 100% of my attentions tonight.

But I haven't forgotten about you, Dr. D ... not by a long shot.
Because it hasn't gotten through that thick, tiny skull of yours yet
the fact of the matter: you, Destructo, are OBSOLETE. You've lost
your nerve, lost your edge, and lost your place in this sport, and
the Power Supply, Nick, Jon, C-Jack, are your Y2K upgrade.

We WILL meet again, Dr. D ... and when we do, I want you to remember
tonight ... I want you to remember your poor, aching back ... but
most of all, I want you to remember this: when you face the Power
Supply, you might get the pin, or you might take it on the chin, but
you will NEVER *truly* win ...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-

MATCH #8: TV TITLE MATCH - Nick Duncan vs. Furia

Furia out first to a big pop...everytime he comes out we know we're seeing some
craaazzzy cool maneuvers.  I'll be surprised if he walks out with the belt this close
to the PPV, but I wouldn't be suprised to see a swerve...making the upcoming
Powers/Furia match worth that much more.

Then Duncan comes out to ...get this..."Caffeine" by Faith No More.  He's got a
variation of his normal tights with a steaming coffee pot where the mushroom cloud
normally is and Maxwell House "Good to the last drop" logos where the nuclear symbols
normally are.  Oh, and he's introduced as "Mr. Coffee" Nick Duncan.  Scarily enough,
the fans are going batshit for this...almost to the point where Duncan was getting 
*face* heat...but not quite, as Duncan tore up a fans sign and got in his face,
which reminded everyone that he was a heel.

They're about ready to lock up, when....

["Break Things" by Limp Bizkit cuts on, the lights go off, and the fans,
knowing who to expect, are quick to provide even more heat than the last
time they heard these notes.  When the lights cut back on Mike Powers is
standing on the runway but instead of his normal attire, he's wearing
flip-flops, swim trunks and a horrific looking hawaiian print t-shirt.  He
removes his shades and, not surprisingly, he produces a house mic--that
draws even more boos and a "Powers Sucks" chant.]

[MP]
What is wrong with this picture?

[AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Personally, I think he's missing about 100 lbs to really
make the Don Muraco Memorial Beach Bum look happen]

[MP]
Let's see...maybe it's that I'm only on the ramp and not in the ring this
week.  No, no, no, it's not that.  Maybe it's that the man I DEFEATED last
week, on this very show, is wrestling for the TV title.  Well, that's
pretty annoying but it's not what's really bothering me.  Wait a second,
I've got it, the PROBLEM with this picture is that SAUL ROSENFELD is still
insisting on running around in that ridculous get-up and pretending he's
Mexican.

[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO]

[MP]
Saul, because I am such a compassionate indivdual.  Because I promised you
that I'd be here for you throughout this ordeal.  Because I KNEW that you
weren't strong enough to do it on your own...I went on a journey to get you
some help.  I put this incredible body and my psychological well-being on
the line.  To make sure you ended this unnecessary fraud and finally admit
who you are...I walked straight into the depths of HELL...I went to Boca
Raton.

That's right Saul!!!  That's how much I care about you!!!  That's how much
I want you to come clean!!!  I got on a dirty comuter plane, sat through a
screening of Double Jeopardy and a serving of spam, all to go find the one
person capable of forcing you to confess.  And once I was there I went
through things that no human being should have to endure.  I played shuffle
board.  I drove under 20 miles per hour.  I wasn't allowed to dive into any
of the swimming pools.  AND I HAD TO EAT DINNER AT 4:30 IN THE AFTERNOON!!!
Do you know what that's like!?!  Have you ever felt the hunger pains
tearing at your stomach at 8 p.m. knowing that in order to get another meal
you have to be up BEFORE THE SUN RISES!?!  AND THEN YOU HAVE TO DRINK PRUNE
JUICE!?!  Have you EVER tasted that crap !?!

[pauses...]

[MP]
(taking a deep breathe)  But it's okay.  It was all worth it because my haj
was a success.  I went into the heart of darkness--right into a meeting of
the Whispering Willows executive council, and I found who I was looking
for.  I may have failed.  You may have resisted my pleas to be true to
yourself.  But I now introduce to everyone the person who you will NOT say
no to, the only one who will bring you to your knees and make you accept
who you are once and for all.  Saul, I bring you all, straight from the
starring role in a production of South Pacific, here is 
REBECCA ROSENFELD...YOUR MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHER!!!

["Mother" by Danzig starts to play but after a few seconds no one has
emerged from the curtains.]

[MP]
It's okay Rebecca, I know you're a bit nervous about being on camera, but
it's the only way to end this embarassment to your family.  It's your one
chance at saving your son.

[Finally, the curtains part and out steps just about the ugliest woman alive.
She's probably about 330 pounds, with curly hair bleached so blonde it
almost looks fake, wearing enough make up to make Tammy Faye Baker proud,
and dressed in an outfit that brings back memories of the late Sapphire.
Her purse could hold a small child.]

[MP]
C'mon everybody.  You may not appreciate someone as superior as me, but
this is SAUL'S MOTHER for god's sake--let's hear some cheers.  Raise the
roof off this HIZ-OOOOOOOOOOOUSE!!!

(The crowd is booing like fiends at this point)

[MP]
Now as much as I'd like to stick around and bask in the warmth of this
reunion.  I know that what you two need is some time alone, so I'm going to
give you the privacy that you so desperately need.  Saul, it's no use
denying it now, just admit who you are and make your momma proud.

[Powers and "Rebecca" hug and then he heads to the back as Mrs. Rosenfeld
starts "running" down the aisle, arms outstretched, yelling "SAUL".]

Oh boy, here we go.  Rebecca of Sunnydale Fat Farm waddles down, screaming
Saul's name.  Furia is perplexed by all of this..and this allows Duncan to get
the initial advantage by jumping him from behind with a forearm to the back.
Picks Furia up for a belly to back suplex, Furia flips over, pushes Duncan
into the ropes, tries for a rollup, Duncan holds on, Furia rolls to his feet 
and charges with a nice spinwheel kick that sends Duncan over the top rope.
Furia charges the other side, leaps up, springboard splash on Duncan to the 
outside.  At this point, FatRebecca waddles over and starts yelling "IS THIS
HOW I RAISED YOU?  YOU NAUGHTY BOY!!!"  The voice is obviously effeminate male.
Furia looks perplexed by all of thus until Duncan, who recovered during the
distraction, knees Furia from behind, sending him into the steel ringsteps, then
grabbing him and gutwrenching him on the concrete before throwing him back in.

Duncan with a kick to the face, then several kicks to the back.  Picks him
up, reverse atomic drop, then a shove into the turnbuckles.  Duncan turns
him around, tries to cinch in a cobra clutch, but Furia reverses with a jawbreaker.
Furia with some quick savate kicks to the face, then comes off the ropes...
where "Rebecca" trips Furia and yells "PLAY NICE".  Unfortunately, "she" did this
in full view of the referee, and Ray Chapman calls for the bell. Furia wins by DQ.
This, of course, pisses Duncan off no end. Furia, quite upset himself, starts to 
go after "Rebecca" (who took off like a shot..or at least a penguin..after the
match)..and gets caught with a HARD snap belly to back suplex by Duncan.
Duncan then hooks his arms and hits the "Chain Reaction" locomotion underhook 
suplex...then rolls out, grabs the thermos he brought with him...and pours himself
a cup of coffee while standing on the fallen Furia.  Boos all around until Duncan
drinks his coffee and leaves.  Furia needed to be helped out by the referee, but
was walking OK, so I'm sure it was just sell.



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