{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
*MATCH #4* "Stunning" STEVIE MAURITZ vs. DAMIEN OMEGA (Non-Title)
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
[PA]
You're UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE!
<>
Folks, we are back, and if you've just joined us, we've already have had a heck of
an evening - T.R. Parker vacating the World title, the Power Supply is *shattered* as
Curtis Stone was jumped by "Nuclear" Nick Duncan and "newcomer" Death Machine Crimson,
who may or may not be Jon Owens under a mask. And right now, we've got a non-title
match between "Stunning" Stevie Mauritz and North American champion Damien Omega
Hey, for all you know, it could be FORMER North American Champion Damien Omega. Ronnie
Frown is still not here yet to make his announcement as to what he's taking - Damien's
North American title, or the World title behind Gauntlet #2!
Until Ronnie Frown declares himself the North American titleholder, Damien is *still*
the champ.
[PA]
real....Real.........REAL......
...what it means to be real.
<>
And the champ is on his way down to the ring. Tonight Damien's facing a man with a boatload
of talent, a SPACESHIP load of ego, and a thimbleful of wins since he turned on his 2 Cool
Dudes partner Tommy B Cool.
Hey, Omega *better* not be looking past Mauritz, cuz he's the King, baby!!! Just ask him.
Omega obviously not in the best of moods, but that isn't stopping him from greeting the
fans! Everything about Omega is a class act, which is something Ronnie Frown would have
no clue about!
*MATCH START*
The match started slowly, as Mauritz took *FOREVER* to get his ringgear off, then he took
a while talking back and forth with the ringside fans. Finally, they tie up collar-and-
elbow, with Omega backing Mauritz into the corner - clean break. Mauritz sticks his
head out to jaw with another fan, and Omega asks referee Wayne Winans to get the match
going. They tie it up again, this time Mauritz bulling Omega back to the corner - and
Stevie surprisingly breaks clean. He stops for a moment to applaud himself for that,
then ties it up with Omega once more. This time, though, Stevie nails Omega off the
break with a forearm, then again before irish whipping him out of the corner...Omega
reverses it though, and Mauritz goes in so hard he does a Flair flop over the top rope!
Crowd pops hard as Omega salutes the fans and Mauritz finds his way to his feet.
Stevie gets in and complains that his tights were pulled to the boos of the fans, and
this starts a "Stevie sucks!" chant as Mauritz and Omega tie up again. Stevie gets
an armtwist in, then nails a short arm forearm smash that drops Omega to the canvas.
Stevie tries for a stepover toehold armlock, but Omega kicks him away into the ropes.
Stevie comes off the ropes, jumping over Omega, but on the backtrack Omega nails him
square in the jaw with a dropkick. Stevie scrambles to his feet, another dropkick.
Omega moves in with a savate kick, Stevie catches the leg, Omega *nails* an enziguri
that drops Stevie hard to the canvas. Omega then locks in a reverse achilles tendon
hold, but Mauritz manages to find his way to the ropes.
Omega yanks him back off the ropes, then postholes his knee into the canvas. Stevie
takes this moment to slide out of the ring to catch a breather. Omega slides out
and grabs Stevie's hair to toss him back in, but Mauritz nails a low blow to stun Omega,
then he gets a snap suplex off on the concrete. Stevie climbs up onto the ring apron,
yells "WHO'S THE KING, BABY!?!?!?" to the crowd, then goes for a hipbuster elbow that
Omega rolls away from!!! Mauritz face is showing some serious pain as Omega rolls him
back into the ring.
Omega drops two knees onto the leg he was working on earlier, then wraps a figure
four onto Mauritz...after 30 seconds of this, Mauritz manages to reverse the figure
four, then grabs onto the ropes for leverage while Winans ask Omega if he gives up.
Finally, Winans sees Mauritz grabbing the ropes and forces the break. Mauritz lays
some kicks onto the legs of Omega, then hits a standing moonsault backflip
onto Omega for a two count.
Mauritz now grabbing the legs of Omega...slingshot that sends Omega front first into
the ropes as Mauritz rolls backwards and then JUMPS BACKWARDS INTO A FLYING ELBOWSMASH
RIGHT INTO OMEGA'S FACE!!!! The force of Omega rebounding combined with Mauritz's momentum
dropped Omega like a bad habit!
Or a bad cliche. Mauritz now on the outside as Omega is slumped against the ropes....
I think Mauritz is going for the gold here!!!
Slingshots upwards into a rana position...and OMEGA REVERSES IT INTO A POWERBOMB!!!
Omega just reversed the "Ratings Grabber", and now Omega trying to get the Nagata lock
locked on...He's got it, he's got the "Endgame" on...but Mauritz is too close to the
corner!!!!!
And that's good presence of mind from the young Mauritz, staying near the ropes so he
wouldn't have to expend energy escaping that Nagatalock.
Omega turning around, and now it's Mauritz's turn to be slingshotted across the ring..and
now Omega going for the handspring elboooowwww...HE MISSED!!!!! MAURITZ DODGED THE ELBOW!!
Omega dazed, as Mauritz goes for a schoolboy....HE'S GOT THE TIGHTS *whump* HE's GOT THE
TIGHTS *whump*
*whump* I'll tell you what he's got, HE'S GOT THE THREE COUNT!!! "STUNNING" STEVIE MAURITZ
JUST PINNED DAMIEN OMEGA!!!!!
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
Winner: Stevie Mauritz, via pinfall 6:12
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
<<"Unbelievable" plays as the fans boo *LOUDLY* at this>>
And of course, Winans didn't see that!! Look at the look on Mauritz's face as he rolls
out of the ring!! I don't even think he was anything short of shocked about that!
It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy!!! I knew losing to Frown last week would have
Omega on edge! They say on any given night, anyone can win, and the "Stunner" PROVED
it tonight!!
Mauritz now over the initial shock and is prancing up the rampway, meanwhile Omega is in
the ring and is arguing with Winans over the fact that Mauritz had the tights as you
can see in this replay
$$$$$$$$$ ( Shot of Omega missing the handspring elbow, then Mauritz getting a
$EWC CAM$ schoolboy rollup with the tights for the one..two..three)
$$$$$$$$$
You know, you can justify this all you want, but the fact remains that Stevie Mauritz
just PINNED the former...or is it current...North American title. All I have to say is
that if Ronnie Frown is benevolent enough to let Damien keep the NA title, he's going to
HAVE to defend against the "Stunner" to have any credibility!!!!
We'll be back after this!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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*MATCH #5* CHRIS SIM vs. TITUS MOONGARDEN
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>>"So Far I Have Not Found the Science" by Soul Coughing plays over the speakers,
and the fans give a decent pop as Moongarden walks down to the ring<<
And this is the in-ring return of Titus Moongarden, who as we saw last week
has been having a rough time of it emotionally as of late!
Well, boo hoo hoo. He's about to have a rough time of it physically, cause he's
about to be taken to the limit by the "Canadian Sensation"
>>"New Sensation" by INXS kicks in, and the fans boo LOUDLY<<
And here comes Chris Sim, who has recovered from some minor injuries incurred by that
INCREDIBLE Falls Count Anywhere match he had with TR Parker at Hardcore Homecoming -
that match went everywhere from the bandroom into the POOL, for heavens sake.
And Chris Sim proved to everyone that he can be as hardcore as the next guy, but this
man is a *WRESTLER*, and he needs to be put in against other *WRESTLERS*. So what does
EWC do? They book him against this side of dried beef named Titus Moongarden.
Moongarden may take exception to that if he hears you, and Sim is going to have every
chance in the world to face other wrestlers, as he's in that World Championship Nightmare
Gauntlet at Snowbrawl...and Sim looked as if he had something to say, but Moongarden just
yanked the mic out of his hands and tossed it aside!!! Now he's waving at Sim to come
at him!! THis is VERY unlike Titus.
*MATCH START*
Sim charges in and Titus hits a backdrop to start, then follows with a clothesline,
then another, and finally a third, causing Sim to roll out of the ring in frustration.
Sim goes back in, gets an armtwist in, which Titus reverses before sending him to the
ropes...HARD shoulderblock gets Sim down, then Titus comes off the ropes with a legdrop,
but misses.
Sim kicks Titus in the face, then hits a spinning heel kick that sends the much larger
Titus to the corner. *STIFF* knife-edge chop by Sim, then a whip to the opposite
turnbuckle. Sim then charges in with a flying headscissors that dumps Moongarden over
the top rope. Sim climbs to the top rope and comes off the top with a moonsault plancha...
only Titus catches him in midair, then gorilla presses him over his head before dropping
him facefirst into the steel ringsteps. Titus then picks Sim up, fires a couple of
right hands (Note by Cross: This is as aggressive as we've ever seen Titus Moongarden)
before tossing him back into the ring.
Moongarden comes in, atomic drop on Sim, cover for a 2 count. Moongarden then goes
for a vertical suplex, but is reversed into a Sim neckbreaker. 2 count by Sim.
Sim up, nails a few kicks, then picks Moongarden up into a vertical suplex in an impressive
display of strength for Sim. Sim then grabs Moongarden by the head, climbs the turnbuckles,
and jumps off into a tornado DDT. Sim stands up and crosses his arms...
Sim now signaling for the Crosshairs, this could do...
["Crazy" comes up on the PA (what, no cathphrase at the beginning) and Ernie
Grendel makes his somewhat limping way out to the ring. He snags a mic and
makes 'cut the music' gestures.]
What's that little maniac doing out here!?!?!?
Ernie Grendel is out here, and he's got a grievance list with
Chris Sim that's a mile long.
Maybe so, but that doesn't mean you interrupt a perfectly good match
to get the idea across!
[Ernie]
[Conversationally] So... as you can see... I look like sht.
Me and Fuego went at each other like a couple of rabid weasels for a little
over an hour... I still can't watch all of that match because I can feel every
single hit I took... and when it was all said and done, Fuego got me, fair and
square, with a nice little mudslide off the top. [mixed cheering and boos here] So,
Fuego... congratulations. [more mixed cheers and boos here as Ernie tips his head back
and looks up at the lights] And... thank you.
See... I know I've been in a behavioral dip. You don't go through college
with a minor in abnormal psych without picking up a few things... and Fuego taking
that chunk of gold-plated pot metal and leather off my hands has given me
pause enough to think... and to think about how I got to where I am.
[Ernie turns his gaze back to the camera, albeit his hair's in the way as
usual. He's staring straight at Sim, who's really pissed off now and is on the
ring apron]
[Ernie]
And ya know... ya know what put me in such a pssy mood in the first
place? [general crowd noise, but Ernie points to someone] You got it. [Points
to Sim] Sim.
>>*HUGE CROWD POP*<<
[measuring each word] The. Canadian. Sensation. Chris. Sim. [Ernie paces over
to the ring ropes and leans on them] Ya see... he and I would wrestle...
I'd win...he'd beat me up afterwards... and this went on for a LONG time...
and then, the one match he beats me in, he doesn't stick around. [Ernie looks up]
It'll make a guy bitter, ya know?
So. I am calling in one last favor from the Solo family. The heck with this
Gauntlet business...that's not good enough. I want Sim. One. On. One.
>>*HUGE CROWD POP*<<
Grendel eye to eye with Chris Si...WAITAMINUTE!!! TITUS WITH A HEAD AND ARM
SUPLEX THAT DRIVES SIM BACK INTO THE RING!!!
Now wait just a minute, that's not fair!!!
It's not Titus' fault that Sim got distracted.....Titus has sim in a suplex
position and FALLS FORWARD INTO A POWERBOMB!!!! *whump* THAT'S THE OUT OF BODY
EXPERIENCE *whump* AND WE'VE...*whump* WE'VE GOT THE SECOND UPSET OF THE NIGHT!!!!
{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
WINNER: Titus Moongarden, by pinfall 7:21
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>>"So Far..." by Soul Coughing comes back on as Titus rolls out of the ring<<
FOLKS, TITUS MOONGARDEN JUST PINNED CHRIS SIM!!!!!!
That's not the same thing as Mauritz's win...Mauritz won WITHOUT HELP!! Sim was COMPLETELY
distracted by that Cut 'n Shoot maniac!!!
Apparently he's still focused on Ernie, Sim just VAULTED the ropes and we've got a brawl
on the rampway!! Referee's are trying to break this up, but Ernie and Sim just keep
trying to get at each other!!!!
Meanwhile, Titus is smiling like a loon - I got news for Mr. Moongarden, he's still a marked
man, and when Mikhail Tzskova gets his hands on him, he's going to be Enlightened, and I'm
not talking that LSD junk his hippie parents are hooked on!!!
Folks, the story here is the brawl between Grendel and Sim...we've gotta take a break, we'll
try to sort all of this out when we come back...
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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"Suicidal" Sean Altman, the Savages, and 20 other legends of the EWC
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
AND NOW, the EXCEDRIN HEADACHE of the WEEK!! Brought to you by
EXCEDRIN, true medicine for Pain
---------------------
Frown rolls outside, grabs a steel chair and rolls in as Omega is getting to his feet.
He tosses the steel chair at Omega, who catches it...
And Frown runs HEADFIRST into the steel chair, KOing himself.
The referee rolls over...and calls for the bell?!?!?! Wait a minute...what a...
That's *BRILLIANT!!!* Frown basically caused Omega to be DQed.
Omega protesting his case with the referee, but all he saw and heard was a loud clang
and Omega holding the chair over an unconscious Frown...and look at Frown staggering
out of the ring, punch drunk...but what is Frown? Is he the North American Champ?
---------------------
THAT was the EXCEDRIN HEADACHE of the WEEK!!!! When you've got pain that
just won't go away, go for EXCEDRIN, true medicine for Pain!!!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
>>Isaac Cross is standing in the ring, with a Microphone<<
[Cross]
Folks, in just minutes, we're going to hear from Ronnie Frown about his
decision regarding the match he won last week. Will he accept the sixth
slot in the Nightmare Gauntlet at Snowbrawl? Or will he *STRIP* the
North American championship from the man I'm about to introduce. Ladies
and Gentlemen, let's hear it for...DAM-ien...OMEGA!!!!
>>"Slave to the Grind" by Skid Row kicks in as Damien Omega heads down the
ring to a huge pop. He's obviously not in the best of moods, but still takes
time to greet fans before joining Isaac in the ring<<
[Cross]
Damien, last week on this program, we saw what had been an amazing win-loss
record in EWC since your becoming the North American Champion officially ended
by the actions of Ronnie Frown. To add insult to injury, less than a half hour
ago you suffered a loss to Stevie Mauritz, who, although very talented, was an
unranked opponent prior to this broadcast.
And now, you, me, and the rest of the world is awaiting his decision regarding
which he would rather have...the sixth slot in the Nightmare Gauntlet match at
Snowbrawl for the World title...or your North American title.
Damien, your thoughts as we still await his announcement?
[Omega]
Y'know, I think it's sorta ironic. Ronnie Frown did what most wrestlers who
don't want to use the talent they have to win normally. One thing you learn
really quickly in EWC is that not everyone .. heck, MOST of the guys here don't
play by the rules. That doesn't mean I won't.
Congrats to Ronnie Frown in cheating his way to a victory. Congrats to Ronnie
Frown in doing what he does best, and that's cheat to win. I think he should be
very proud of himself. But, now he can take my North American title from me
without actually pinning me, and I fully expect him to do so. That's the type
of person he seems to be. Someone who knows he DOESN'T STAND A GHOST OF A
CHANCE to win the World title, so he'll, once again, go for the easy out.
{"Ronnie" by Metallica sounds, and Ronnie Frown comes down the aisle, looking
(surprise!) none too happy. As Omega drops the North American title on the mat,
Ronnie collects a microphone from the attendant, staying on the ring steps.}
[Frown]
I think I have to rain on your parade a bit here, Damien ...
>>*LOUD* "Ass-hole" chants here<<
[Frown]
... but there's only so much I'm going to stick around in back while you drag MY
good name through the mud with your revisionist history. Let me tell you the
sad facts of life, Mr. "I follow the rules" ...
I realize I kicked your head in hard enough that memories will be forgotten, so
here's the Cliff Notes version: YOU were DISQUALIFIED, Damien. That means YOU
CHEATED.
>>*LOUD BOOS*<<
I know it, the crowd knows it, the fine man who officiated that match knows it.
YOU couldn't handle the full impact of that match. YOU took the shortcut, and
THAT is why Ronnie Frown now stands here with the full right to walk away with
that title you called your own.
{Omega nods slowly}
[Omega]
Very good.
Let's add that to the personallity traits of Ronnie Frown...the assumption that
the fans in attendence of that match and the ones watching at home are all
idiots. YOU know, and I KNOW how that match came out. THEY ALL KNOW what you
did to get that win, so all your little speeches won't change that.
But, you are right. You have the right to take and defile the North American
Title. Before you do, however, I just have one question for you: At what
point in our match did you realize you couldn't beat me, so you had to cheat?
[Frown]
Couldn't beat you? I couldn't beat you?
[Omega] *interrupting*
YOU /DIDN'T/ beat me.
>>*CROWD POP*<<
[Frown]
I DID beat you, Damien Omega. I LAID YOU OUT, and I could have gotten the
one-two-three. But you know, while Ronnie Frown has this chance to clear the
air ... I ought to correct your OTHER little slander attempt.
{Ronnie steps into the ring, and picks up the North American belt. He bounces
it in his hand as if checking the weight as he speaks.}
You keep saying that Ronnie Frown has the right to take this North American
title -- which is true. You say that you fully expect me to walk out of here
with this belt. And I certainly could.
But you're telling these people -- and you know they'll believe you, precisely
because they ARE all idiots -- that Ronnie Frown is going to do it because he
doesn't stand a Snowbrawl's chance in hell of winning the WORLD title.
{Ronnie throws the belt at Damien's feet.}
AND THAT IS A GODDAMNED LIE!!!
You know what, Damien? I WANT you to have that belt. I WANT you to KEEP that
belt. Because WHEN -- not if -- the Ten Thousand Minute Man walks out of the
ring the fifth time at SnowBrawl with the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, I want
you to remember that the tin trophy YOU'RE wearing is the one HE THREW AWAY.
{Omega stands back for a moment, obvious anger in his eyes from that last
statement, looks down, and quickly grabs the North American title, then raises
his mic to respond...
...when "Latifah's Law" by Queen Latifah plays over the PA.
Tara Jansen walks onto the stage, but goes no farther. She has a mic in her
hands as she survey's the situation, and smiles. Ronnie turns to look out,
weighing his glance back and forth between Tara and Damien as if in a trap.}
[Jansen]
"Tin Trophy", Frown? This from a man who had worn a noose for a fashion
statement. It's funny, that after wearing that noose for so long, only now are
you starting to leave enough rope for you to hang yourself with.
[Frown]
You've got something on your {coughs exaggeratedly} chest, Jansen? Another of
your little bureaucratic ego boosters? Hey, go on and make yourself at home.
I'm sure everybody's dying to hear it.
[Jansen]
The only thing I got on my mind is getting the paying customers awake again
after the Ten Thousand Minute Speech you just gave.
Now, see, I got this match request on my desk from last week...something about
you stepping in the ring with T.R. Parker ... and while I'm sure all of *YOU*
(points to the fans) would love to see *THAT* (points to Ronnie) Frown turned
upside down by the Strutter....
Well, as I told Ernie earlier tonight, it *is* the Christmas season. However,
Ronnie, as Gabbo on the Simpsons might say...you've been a BAAAAAAAAAAAAD WIDDLE
BOY!!!
>>Ronnie glares around at the fans, who are popping madly at his expense, and
Omega smiles.<<
[Jansen]
Now I can't do anything about that abortion of a match ending last week...but
what I *can* do is do what I do best...and that's SIGN MORE MATCHES!!!!
Now, Damien, based on what happened earlier tonight with Stevie Mauritz, you
have to understand that he did earn a title match with you. And that will be
*his* Christmas present...next week. And Frown, you're going to get that match
with TR Parker next week....but that's TR's Christmas present, not yours.
Which brings me...to Damien Omega's Christmas Present.
>>Frown starts pacing back and forth, grabbing the ring rope every so often to
pull on, obviously getting an idea of where this is going.<<
[Jansen]
Now Damien, I'm getting the idea here that your presence in the Gauntlet is
secondary...and what you would *REALLY* be wanting...right this second...is the
opportunity to surgically implant your bootlaces up Ronnie Frown's ass...AM I
CORRECT!?!?!?
>>*CROWD POP*<<
[Omega] *smiling*
That'd be right.
[Jansen]
Groovy. And that's just what you're going to get. Omega, after your match with
Mauritz...and Frown, after your match with Parker....well, in the immortal words
of J. Wellington Wimpy..."Let's you and him fight"
FURTHERMORE...since there was a chair involved somehow...I won't say who brought
the chair into *cough*RONNIE*cough* play ... we're gonna make this one Last Man
Standing.
>>*CROWD POP TO THE STARS*<<
Now, *NEVER* let it be said that Tara Jansen isn't a fair commisioner...so we're
gonna sweeten the pot a little bit here. Mr. Frown...if, by some miracle, you
can beat *BOTH* T.R. Parker *AND* Damien Omega in the same night....I will
*automatically* put you in the LAST spot for the Gauntlet. That means you will
only have to beat *ONE* person.
And Mr. Omega...if you can beat Stevie Mauritz *AND* Ronnie Frown in the same
night....you will replace *SOMEONE* in the Gauntlet. Now, if you can do
that...that *MAY* mean that Poor Ol' Ronnie Frown may lose his dream shot he's
so damn sure of...but he can, well, you know....GET USED TO DISAPPOINTMENT!
>>HUGE Crowd pop as Omega starts to leave the ring to "Slave to the Grind",
then turns back to Frown, smiling<<
Ronnie...have fun against TR. I'll be watching you to make sure you don't pull
anything.
>>Omega puts the NA belt across his shoulder, and smiling at Frown, steps out of
the ring and leaves through the crowd, as Frown lifts the mic back up, looking
*very* agitated.<<
[Frown]
So, you're saying I have to go through BOTH Parker AND Damien in the same night?
That's just fine, that's great. You know, I've always wondered what it is about
Parker that makes women hate him, because he is going to HURT and SUFFER like
he's never had to before ... and you go ahead and watch REAL CLOSE, Damien,
because the same thing is in store for YOU.
And I want you BOTH to remember, after I make you swallow a Bitter Pill and
leave you broken on the mat, that SHE WANTED IT THIS WAY!
>>Frown tosses down the microphone and rolls out of the ring, heading down the
opposite aisle.<<