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@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ (@@@@ @@@@ #s
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B@@@@ ~@@@@ @@@@ Gs
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@s 3@@@@ (@@@@ @@@@ @@@# @s
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 3@@@@ @@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@7 @G
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@( (@@@@ @@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@( /@@@@ @@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@ G@B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@( @@@@ @@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@( @@@@ @@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@(
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@3 @@@@ B@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ ~@@@G
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@G B@@@ B@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@ @@@@7
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B G@@@/ #@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@s #@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B (@@@3 G@@@ @@@@ @@@@@@~ B@@@@7
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@s G@@@ @@@@ @@Bs ~@@@@@G
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@7 B@@# (@@@ @@@@ G@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@# s@@# @@@ @@@@ #@@@@G
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ /@@@ @@@ @@@@ /@#
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@3 #@@ B@@ @@@@ @B
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @ #@B @@@@ /#@@@@# #@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ s@B @@@@ @@@@@@@@# @@#
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @B @@@@ @@@@@@@@B @@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@7 B@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@G 7@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ (@ @@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B @ @@@@ @@@@@@@s /@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@3 B@~ @@@@ @@@@@@B B@@@#
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ G@@B @@@@ @@@@@@ 7@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 3@@@@ @@@@ @@@@@/ @@@@G
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@B @@@@ @@@@ @@@@#
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/ @@@@ @@@ @@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@ @B #@@@@
@@@ @@@ @@@ @@@@@@G @@@@ B@@@@
@ @@@@@ @@@ @@@ @@@@@@@@@@~ @@@@ B@@@@
@ @@@@@ @@@ @@@@@@@@@@ @@@@ ~@@@@B
@ @@@@@ @@@ @@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@ @@@@@#
@ @@@@@ @@@ @@@ @@@@@@@@@@ @@@@ 7@@@@@G
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@3 @@@@ #@@@@@7
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@s @@@@ 7@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@ #@@@@@@
@@@@ 3@@@@@@3
(@@@@@@@@@#
7@ @@s
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
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@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 @@ @ @@ 6@6 #@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 O @# GG # @R %@3 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 #6 @# ee # @S @ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 #6 @# ee #s @s # @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 #6 @# ## # 3 e C@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 #6 @# e@@@@@ Q 6 G G@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 #6 @# ee #@6 6 e 6 #@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@6 #6 @# ee #@Q 6@ C@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@e /@@@@@@6 #6 @# 66 #@@ e@ e@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@e /@@@@@@6 #6 @@ @@@ #@ #@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@e3 /e#eeee@#eeee@@@@3~/~%@@@@@@@7// R@@@@@7/(@@ @@@@O//76@@@eeee@@@Qeeee@@
@ % @% @R #@% 7@@ @@ 7@~ e@@ /@@
/e% @% @ @ @ @@ @@ e( @6 ^@ %e %@@ O@@ @@@
@@e /@% @% @ @ @ @@ @@ @@ @% /@ %@ /@@ @@@
@@e /@% @% @ @ @ @@ @@ @@ @% /@ %@ R@ ~@@@
@@e /@% @% @ @ @ 6 @@ @@ @% / %@ %e e@@@
@@e /@% @% @ @@7 @@@@@ @@ @@@% %@/ /~ @@@@
@@e /@% @% @ @@@Q /@@@ @@ @@ %@e @@@@
@@e /@% @% @ @@@@@@@@@@6 e@@ @@ @O @ %@@ @@@@
@@e /@% @% @ @ @////R @@ @@ @% %@ %@@7 /@@@@
@@e /@% @% @ @ @ @@ @@ @@ @% %@ %@@Q e@@@@
@@e /@% @% @ @ @ @@ @@ @@ @% %@ %@@@ @@@@@
@@e ^@% @% @ @ @ @@ @@ @@ @% %@ %@@@ @@@@@
@@R 3 @/ % ^@ /( @@ @% %@@@ @@@@@
@@@/ @/ / @@Q Q@@@3 @@@ ( @@ ^ %@@@% /@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@e e@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@%% @@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ O@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@>>>>>>>>>>
>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@>
>>>>>>>>>>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
********************************************************************************
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*:::::___________.__:::::::::::::::::__:::::::::::::::::::::::.__::::::::::::::*
*:::::\_ _____/| |:::____:::_____/ |________::____:::____:|__|:____::::::::*
*::::::| __)_ | |:_/ __ \_/ ___\ __\_ __ \/ _ \:/ \| |/ ___\:::::::*
*::::::| \| |_\ ___/\ \___| |::| |:\( <_> ) | \ \ \___:::::::*
*:::::/_______ /|____/\___ >\___ >__|::|__|:::\____/|___| /__|\___ >::::::*
*:::::::::::::\/:::::::::::\/:::::\/::::::::::::::::::::::::\/::::::::\/:::::::*
*:::::::__::::::__::::::::::::::::::::::::::__::.__::.__:::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::/ \::::/ \_______:::____:::_______/ |_| |:|__|:____::::____:::::::::*
*::::::\ \/\/ /\_ __ \_/ __ \:/ ___/\ __\ |:| |/ \::/ ___\::::::::*
*:::::::\ /::| |:\/\ ___/:\___ \::| |:| |_| | | \/ /_/ >:::::::*
*::::::::\__/\ /:::|__|::::\___ >____ >:|__|:|____/__|___| /\___ /::::::::*
*:::::::::::::\/::::::::::::::::\/:::::\/::::::::::::::::::::\//_____/:::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::_________::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.__.__:::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::\_ ___ \::____::__:__::____:::____:|__| |::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::/ \ \/:/ _ \| | \/ \_/ ___\| | |::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::\ \___( <_> ) | / | \ \___| | |__::::::::::::::::*
*:::::::::::::::::\______ /\____/|____/|___| /\___ >__|____/::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::\/::::::::::::::::::\/:::::\/:::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*:::::::::::::The:Past,:Present:and:Future:of:Sports:Entertainment:::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
********************************************************************************
_ \ |
| | __| _ \ __| _ \ __ \ __| __|
___/ | __/\__ \ __/ | | | \__ \
_| _| \___|____/\___|_| _|\__|____/
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ____ __ __ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ / __/__ / /__ / /________ ___ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ _\ \/ _ \/ / _ \/ __/ __/ _ \/ _ \@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/___/\___/_/\___/\__/_/ \___/_//_/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ {The parking lot. "The Strutter" TR Parker just exited his Camero and popped @@
@@ the trunk to pull out a gym bag, seeing the EWC camera crew he props a snakeskin @@
@@ boot on the bumper and waves them over. Wearing blue jeans, an "EW Strutt'n C" @@
@@ t-shirt, and black leather jacket, he speaks through darkened lenses of @@
@@ sunglasses.} @@
@@ @@
@@ [TR Parker] @@
@@ "You see the time? (Parker shoots out his wrist to show a Movado watch to the @@
@@ camera) Call it five thirty, and when is bell time? 7:30? Remember that. @@
@@ @@
@@ You know, second only to marriage this business is the epitome of a love-hate @@
@@ relationship. I love the adrenaline, I love the action, and I love the fans and @@
@@ I always have. (Parker chuckles) I know that may come as a shock to some, but @@
@@ (shrugs) what can you expect. I'm The Strutter. @@
@@ @@
@@ This past week I've heard from a lot of fans, friends, and family. They say, @@
@@ 'TR what's up with you facing Ronnie Frown?' 'He's a small fish, he's beneath @@
@@ you,' 'You're The Strutter, who is he?' @@
@@ @@
@@ Well, I'll tell you what I told them. Ronnie Frown is one of the futures of @@
@@ this sport, and he is going to meet the present tonight. The Strutter didn't @@
@@ get where he is today by taking it easy and coasting. You want to take it to @@
@@ the next level Ronnie, then welcome to the bright lights. Just remember Jeremy @@
@@ Byron was on the same path and I sent his ass to a 2am timeslot on static @@
@@ channel whatever-the-hell is on cable between Chuck Norris and Suzanne Somers. @@
@@ I think we all remember what happened when he thought he could announce better @@
@@ than he could wrestle. So Ronnie, don't think The Strutter is not aware of what @@
@@ you're capable of. @@
@@ @@
@@ Which brings me to the hate part of this business. I really, really hate having @@
@@ smelling salts shoved up my nose after a match. There's something about the @@
@@ stench that clears the head and makes the anger crystal clear. And you better @@
@@ believe I see it all, now. @@
@@ @@
@@ Ernie, we've gone round-and-round but I always knew that you were dependable. @@
@@ One of my buddies called me up the other day and told me he was watching Night @@
@@ of the Legends 1 where you beat my ass. And while I wince at the mere mention @@
@@ of that night, I know that that night was the night that we showed the world @@
@@ that we could deliver. Last week we did it again, this time on the same side. @@
@@ @@
@@ Now Fuego, I thought you were somebody I could count on. Where were you? Me @@
@@ and Ernie are out there doing it like only we can and you're nowhere to be seen. @@
@@ Traffic problems? c'mon. Did the vine break? or did Gilligan's bamboo taxi @@
@@ break down at the Howells? Look jungle boy, the next time you hang me out dry @@
@@ in order to make some grand entrance you're going to need every one of those @@
@@ cheering fans to save you from The Strutter, got that? @@
@@ @@
@@ I'm all for self-promotion, in fact I've probably done it once or twice (grins) @@
@@ But NOBODY backstabs The Strutter without having to answer some questions. If @@
@@ you were scared to stand nose-to-nose with Monroe and his boys then you could @@
@@ have told me and Ern and we could have protected you...or were you afraid your @@
@@ ego couldn't get enough of the spotlight by sharing a ring with us? @@
@@ @@
@@ Hell, we did just fine without you...but you finally did show up, didn't you? @@
@@ Yeah, you came out so you could hear those cheers; old Mighty Mouse came to save @@
@@ the day, right? Yeah, packing a bamboo pole I seem to recall...see, I got to @@
@@ see it real close-up just before everything went black. @@
@@ @@
@@ (Parker rubs his forehead) I'm not bitter about that at all, really I'm not. @@
@@ Accidents happen in this business....yeah, they can happen both ways, ya know @@
@@ what I mean Fuego? Who said that? @@
@@ @@
@@ (Parker beckons the camera closer and looks left and right before delivering in @@
@@ a whisper) @@
@@ @@
@@ The Strutter said that." @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/ __/ | /| / / ___/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/ _/ | |/ |/ / /__@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/___/ |__/|__/\___/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
<<"Ready to Go" by Republica plays in the background as images flash onto the screen>>
[SONG]
It's a crack
I'm back
Yeah
Standing on the
rooftops
shout it out
Baby I'm
Ready to go
I'm back
and
Ready to go
>From the
roof-
tops
shout it
out
________________
____/ ( ( ) ) \___
/( ( ( ) _ )) ) )\
(( ( )( ) ) ( ) )
((/ ( _( ) ( _) ) ( () ) )
( ( ( (_) (( ( ) .((_ ) . )_
( ( ) ( ( ) ) ) . ) ( )
( ( ( ( ) ( _ ( _) ). ) . ) ) ( )
( ( ( ) ( ) ( )) ) _)( ) ) )
( ( ( \ ) ( (_ ( ) ( ) ) ) ) )) ( )
( ( ( ( (_ ( ) ( _ ) ) ( ) ) )
( ( ( ( ( ) (_ ) ) ) _) ) _( ( )
(( ( )( ( _ ) _) _(_ ( (_ )
(_((__(_(__(( ( ( | ) ) ) )_))__))_)___)
((__) \\||lll|l||/// \_))
________ .___ __________
/ _____/ _______ ____ __ __ ____ __| _/ \____ / ____ _______ ____
/ \ ___ \_ __ \ / _ \ | | \ / \ / __ | / / _/ __ \ \_ __ \ / _ \
\ \_\ \ | | \/( <_> )| | /| | \/ /_/ | / /_ \ ___/ | | \/( <_> )
\______ / |__| \____/ |____/ |___| /\____ | /_______ \ \___ > |__| \____/
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/
( /(/ ( ) ) )\ )
( ( ( ( | | ) ) )\ )
( /(| / ( )) ) ) )) )
( ( ((((_(|)_))))) )
( ||\(|(|)|/|| )
( |(||(||)|||| )
( //|/l|||)|\\ \ )
(/ / // /|//||||\\ \ \ \ _)
___ __ _____ ___ __ ______ _____
/ _ )___ _/ / __ __ / _( )__ _ / _ \___ ___ ____/ /_ __ /_ __/__ / ___/__
/ _ / _ `/ _ \/ // / _/ / |// ' \ / , _/ -_) _ `/ _ / // / / / / _ \ / (_ / _ \
/____/\_,_/_.__/\_, / /___/ /_/_/_/ /_/|_|\__/\_,_/\_,_/\_, / /_/ \___/ \___/\___/
/___/ /___/
@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%
//-----\\
// \\
| Caption | First Union Center - Philadelphia, PA
\\ //
\\-----//
(The explosions go off around the stage area, only instead of the normal colors,
it flashes a very festive red and green. The crowd, which is at capacity, is holding
up all sorts of signs letting their feelings be known.)
<> The Elite Wrestling Council wishes you the happiest of holiday seasons!
It is CHRISTMAS EVE, and a SOLD OUT crowd has converged here in Philadelphia to
celebrate the season with the stars of the Elite Wrestling Council! Ladies and
Gentlemen, I'm Isaac Cross, and I'm...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@| __|\ \ / // __| @
@| _| \ \/\/ /| (__ Isaac Cross @
@|___| \_/\_/ \___| @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
...flying blind tonight as John Riker had a family emergency to attend to tonight. Folks,
we want to welcome representatives of the Make a Wish foundation tonight, as tonights
gate receipts are being donated to the Make a Wish foundation, in order for terminally
ill children to have a very Happy Holiday for this and many years to come. Folks,
we have got a....
(Cross is interrupted as Jack "The Bull" Salem elbows his way past him and takes the
empty color commentator's chair.)
<> Outta my way, yew tenderfooted greenhorn!
<> What the...Jack Salem! What are you doing here?
<> What does it look like I'm a-doin', ya dang Yankee! I'm a-bringin' the voice
of experience to this here tee-vee show. Yew can't send some wide-eyed....
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@| __|\ \ / // __| @
@| _| \ \/\/ /| (__ Jack "The Bull" Salem @
@|___| \_/\_/ \___| @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
...city-slicker college kid out here on his own an' expect him to dew a man's job. So
I'm a-gonna give yew a Christmas present of some free pointers, boy. Just watch an'
learn from a master! Now yew just go on an' tell 'em all what they're a-gonna see
tonight.....
<> Well..... all right. Folks, we've got a BARNBURNER of a show tonight - the
booking committee, headed up by EWC commisioner Tara Jansen spared nothing tonight.
Folks..Fuego vs. Monroe. CHRIS Monroe. It happens tonight. "The Canadian Sensation"
Chris Sim vs. Ernie Grendel, it happens *TONIGHT*, Jack Salem, and Grendel's chomping
at the bit for it!
<> That Grendel-boy may be Texas trained, but he ain't got no Texas smarts!
That boy's been in the hospital more times in three years than I've been in thirty!
He better stick ta basic, good ol'-fashioned wrasslin' against that thar Canadian-boy,
or he's a-gonna be spendin' his Christmas an' New Year's in traction!
<> Plus, Ronnie Frown and North American champ Damien Omega are in
TWO matches - Damien defends his title against the man who BEAT him last week,
"Stunning" Stevie Mauritz
<> Now that Maruitz boy, thar's someone who went from a total geek to a real man
almost overnight! He's got a new look, a new attitude, an' after tonight, a whole new
title - North American Cham-peen!
<> Plus Frown has one on one a man I KNOW you know a lot about, and
that's "The Strutter" T.R. Parker!
<> Them boys is two of the toughest hombres this here federation has to offer.
Ev'ryone knows I got a lotta respect for Parker, but that thar Frown boy is makin' a
name fer himself right quick. But tonight's gonna be his toughest test to date, an'
when ol’ Parker-boy gits mad, he can dew more damage than a Texas Twister through a
trailer park!
<> And they wind up their evening by fighting EACH OTHER in a last man
standing match!! All this plus a FOUR CORNERS match...
///-----\\\
| PA System | "It's just one of those *DAYS* when you don't wanna wake up!
\\\-----///
("Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit strikes up and the fans are quick to follow with the jeers
and a small smattering of garbage. The curtains part to reveal Tiffani and Amber near
see-through white "dresses" that cause the men to pop hard but that dies down quickly
when Lanny Hawkins waddles through the curtains and covers each with a pink and purple
mu-mu. Mike Powers steps out next flanked by Mr. WP who randomly starts lashing out
in martial arts strikes before blowing mist into the air which causes Lanny to get
all upset as it drifts onto his head. Powers calms the two down and the entire group
heads to the ring.)
...which will determine the number one contenders to the World Tag Team Championship!!
Folks, we are starting this show off with a bang, as we've got a tag team match
featuring 3 of the 4 competitors in our Light Heavyweight title tournament! What
I have to wonder, though, is why isn't Mike Powers in his gear? He's wrestling
tonight!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@| __|\ \ / // __| MIKE POWERS and MR. WP @
@| _| \ \/\/ /| (__ (w/T&A and Lanny Hawkins) @
@|___| \_/\_/ \___| @
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
<> Now ya see, that’s what I cain’t understand ‘bout them new-fangled "New
Generation" wrasslers. That thar could very well *be* his wrasslin’ gear! Yew just
don’ know nowadays.
<> Folks, we have some pre-recorded comments from the Furious One himself,
lets hear what the Elite Luchadore has to say.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(Camera opens on Furia walking into the arena, he has sunglasses and a
ski mask-like mouth covering over his face. TAPED EARLIER appears on the
bottom of the screen. The camera follows Furia in...)
[Furia]
"I don't know about you? But I'm kinda psyched for this upcoming match
against Star Power with (making odd gestures and mocking voice) "Silky
Smooooth" Simon Sanders as my tag team partner. It will be a great way
for me to get to know my next opponent in the Iron Man tournement a
little better and of course, continue to kick Mike Powers' ass all over
Los Estados Unidos! Sanders, I hope that we can work together and focus
on the task at hand. I have nothing against you, in fact we have
something in common. An urge to take Star Power and smack the smirks off
their faces. So Sanders, let's focus on this match, beat Star Power and
then take it to the next level when we wrestle, k ese? Don't worry
Sanders, you'll get your turn to Feel the Fury..."
(The camera stops as Furia continues to walk into the arena carrying his
duffle bag...)
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
("Staring at the Sun" comes on, and Militar de Furia comes out to a fairly big pop,
headbanging a bit on the ramp before walking his way down to the ringside area)
<> Furia on his way down to ringside, and he's got a BIG history with Mr. Powers
in there.
<> Well, yew don’t never insult no one’s mother, even if she *is* a fat ugly sow...
unless yer talkin’ about the mother of a no-good low-down stinkin’ Mexican! They’ve been
a-stealin’ our jobs an’ runnin’ ‘cross our gol-dang border long enough! They deserve
to be treated like second-class citizens ‘cause that’s *exactly* what they are!
<> Both Furia and his tag partner tonight want a piece of Mike Powers something
fierce...
///-----\\\
| PA System | I'M THE SCAT-MAN!!!
\\\-----///
("Scatman" by Scatman John comes on, and there is a pop, but several fans are also booing)
<> But I don't think there's anyone at this moment that wants a bigger piece of
Mike Powers than this man!
<> Got that right, but ol’ Mexican said it right - this here’s a tag match,
an’ like it or not, black man’s gotta fergit ‘bout his vendetta an’ work together
with his partner. An’ as me an Big C.W. could tell ya, havin’ a common enemy makes
it a lot easier!
<> Sanders and Furia at ringside now, and Powers waving them off, finally
grabbing the microphone, maybe now we can find out what's going on here!
<>
[Powers]
I am not a tag team wrestler. I do not pretend to know the first thing
about what it means to be a tag team wrestler. Yet for some reason, for
some mysterious, illogical, mornic reason typical of the tree-sloths
running things in the back, I, Mike Powers, am being asked to wrestle in a
tag team match tonight. You don't ask a short stop to play center field.
You don't have your goalie play right wing. And you certainly don't have
the most gifted aerialist in the sport of wrestling today try to team with
someone he's never worked with. I won't do it. Why? NOT because I
wouldn't enjoy beating Simon Sanders for the THIRD straight week. And NOT
because I wouldn't get a kick out of tearing that mask off of Militar's
face and shoving it down his throat. I WON'T wrestle in this TAG team
match tonight because it's BENEATH me and YOU deserve better. Each and
every one of you fans who has paid your hard earned welfare checks to see a
true winner compete in his element. You shouldn't accept...NO you
shouldn't stand for, my having to try to and make due in a tag team match.
So it's not happening. I REFUSE to fight in this match tonight.
<<*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*>>
INSTEAD--I'm going to give everyone who they REALLY want to see. I'm
going to step aside, give up the guaranteed winner's purse and let you all
watch the poster-children for crisp double team moves, the epitome of tag
team excellence, you are going to get to see the NEXT EWC Tag Team
Champions. They've been training long and hard for their EWC tag team
debut. You've seen their devastating skills apart and I'm sure you NEVER
dreamed that they'd combine their mighty forces inside of an EWC ring.
Get off of your ham-hog asses, put those hairy palms together, and give
this team the rousing ovation we all know these megastars deserve...
(some of the crowd does rise, and many others are at least looking up the
entrance ramp)
I give you LANNY HAWKINS and Mr. WP--STAR POWER at its finest!!! YEAH!!!
Now THAT'S a tag team!!!
(the crowd is IRATE at this point, as Powers flips out of the ring leaving
his charges in his place--he instead cuddles up to T&A at ringside)
<> Powers substituting the 380 lb. Lanny Hawkins in this match, and the complexion
of this match has suddenly changed for both men!
<> An’ I gotta ‘gree with the fans here. Li’l Powers-boy backin’ out an’
lettin’ someone else fight his fight ain’t no way ta be a man. If yew got a
problem with someone, yew fight it yerself! He’s gonna pay fer this stunt
sooner or later.
<> Now Sanders calling for the mic. I think he has a rebuttal lined up...
[Sanders]
No, punk-boy. I’ll tell ya whut da people wanna see - they wanna see someone
wit’ da integrity ta back up his words wit’ actions. You gonna make Fury-man
an’ me wait ta git our hands on ya? Dat’s fine. We can wait. But I’m warnin’
ya ri’t now - take yo’ jailbait, walk ri’t back up dat aisle, an’ lock yo’self
in yo’ dressin’ room. ‘Cuz dat’s da *only* place you gonna be 100% safe tonight!
You wanna stay out here? Go ri’t ahead. But don’t be surprised if ya see me back
up *my* words wit’ actions!
<> Strong words again from Simon Sanders, but Powers just laughing them off.
Apparently he has confidence in the rest of Star Power to keep Sanders at bay...
*DING DIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!*
<> And here we go! Furia and WP start off, NICE reversal on the armtwist by
WP, and Mr. WP showing that Judo background of his, tossing the Elite Luchador over
his shoulder, then dropping a knee onto the shoulder
<> Ya see there, boy? Simple wristlock, simple takedown, simple knee drop,
an a lotta trouble fer that Mexican dog! Yew don’t need no fancy flyin’ ta git the
job done. I'm livin' proof of that.
<> Furia up now, reverses the armdrag right into a monkey flip! That doesn't
keep WP down, but Furia now goes into a headlock, hiptosses WP over! WP up, and Furia
with a jumping headscissors flips WP over, and now Furia has that headscissors locked
in tight.
<> Ain't gonna last. That thar judo-boy be bigger 'n stronger 'n that wimpy
Mexican ain't got the strength ta keep him down...see? Right thar yew be!
<> Mr. WP slides out of the scissors, puts a headlock of his own onto Furia.
WP grinding it in, and *whump* FURIA WITH THE SHOULDERS *whump* DOWN...Furia rolling
to his side. Most people don't realize just how painful and debilitating a simple
headlock can be, and it can cause a man to just pass out, leaving his shoulders on the
mat.
<> And the bigger they are, the more it hurts when they grind that thar
forearm up against yer temple. That ol' li'l trick goes way back. I've used it
countless times, an WP musta been watchin my tapes, 'cause he's usin' it, too.
<> Furia still caught in that headlock, but Furia rolls *whump* over onto
WP *whump*...and WP gets out of it, caught by surprise there, and Furia with a whipcrack
of a dropkick right on the jaw of Powers' pet masked man..and ANOTHER one, and WP
is reeling...and a RANA BY FURIA FLIPS POWERS OVER TO FURIA'S CORNER, AND A TAG TO
"Silky Smooth" Simon Sanders! Sanders in, and he drops a knee right on the arm, and
here comes Sanders' gameplan into play.
<> Well, yew can say whatcha want to 'bout Sanders' attitude, but he ain't
afeerd ta git in thar an' fight with anybody. He's a-fixin' to break judo-boy
down like an ol' useless mule.
<> Sanders grabs WP up by the arm, couple of elbowsmashes to the arm, and
Sanders rams the arm of Mr. WP shoulder first into a neutral turnbuckle.
WP bounces out, and Sanders with a scoop bodyslam right onto that arm.
<> Both wrasslers in thar purty sim-yew-ler in style. Sanders a bit more
a street fighter, WP a bit more a karate-type, but both like workin' the
arm'n'shoulders and makin' yew cry "Uncle" when they be through.
<> *CRACK* WP with a slap chop right onto Sanders' chest, Sanders fires back with
a knife edge, and both men now trading chops back and forth with one another.
<> Simon-boy a bit fresher in thar, though. He's gettin' a li'l more
force behind them blows. Although a good ol'-fashoned fist to the jaw'd be
just as effective...
<> WP reverses a whip, Sanders snags a tag with Furia on the rebound, I don't think
WP saw it, and WP backdrops Sanders RIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF LANNY HAWKINS...DEAR GOD!!!
LANNY WITH A HIPBUSTER BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!!
<> I dunno if that was part of the gameplan, ta take Sanders out like that.
But Powers thar lookin' over at Hawkins an' givin' him a thumbs up, so I guess it
*was* planned!
<> Lanny just SQUASHED Sanders on the outside, and he's hurt, he's not moving!
In the ring, Furia just nailed WP from behind with a flying elbow, and now Furia off the
ropes, NICE moonsault elbow from the springboard!
<> The Mexican dog might be quicker'n a hiccup in thar, but he's as good as
by himself now. An' I don't think he's a-gonna last too long in thar with two boys
the size of Hawkins and WP.
<> Furia now sends WP for the ride, reversal by WP, WP gonna try to backdrop
FURIA into Lanny...FURIA REVERSES INTO A SPINNING DDT!!!!! And WP rolls out of the
ring as Furia's got the momentum here. Meanwhile, Powers on the outside laying some
boots into Sanders while the referee is distrac..FURIA MOONSAULT TO THE OUTSIDE, and
WP was rammed into the outside dividers head first!!!! And now *HE'S* not moving!
Lanny's on his way over, as Powers checking what's going on...SANDERS JUST LOCKED THE
KATAHAJIME ON POWERS!!!! HE WAS BLUFFING!!!!
<> An' now Sanders-boy gots what he wants! He's chokin' out that thar Powers,
an' I don't think his friends dun realized it yet!
<> Sanders literally DRAGGING Powers over the ring divider on this one...meanwhile
WP is still out, not moving, Lanny just rammed Furia face first into the steel
ringpost, and the referee is just calling for the bell on this one, I think both sides
are being counted out.
<> Whar the hairy heck is Sanders goin' with that kid? He tryin' ta kidnap
him or somethin'?
<> Sanders still all over Powers in the fans, meanwhile Furia is taking a
pounding by the much larger Lanny Hawkins...TOMIKAZE ON THE OUTSIDE by Hawkins, and now
Lanny just rolling him in the ring, Sanders is too focused on Powers to even notice
his own tag team partner right now.
<> I don't think he *cares* about that Mexican no more! He got whut he wanted,
an' I think yer a-gonna need a crowbar ta git his hands off'n Powers' neck!
<> Lanny on the top rope, oh dear god...nearly FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS IN A TOP ROPE
SPLASH!!!! He calls that the "Crash Diet", and Lanny may have lost some weight since
his KWF days, but he's still almost 400 lbs...and he's climbing up, and he's DOING IT
AGAIN!!!
<> Y'know, I'm beginnin' ta wonder if this were the whole purpose of bookin'
this here tag match - git Sanders outta the way an' let the big boys squash Mexico-boy
like a cucaracha! Half of it may have backfired, but Powers ain't gotta wrassle
Sanders in the Light Heavy tourney no more. Fury-boy's still gotta go 'gainst him.
<> I think that's exactly what's going on here, officials here now as LANNY LANDS
A THIRD SPLASH!!!! Oh god, Lanny's giggling, and his belly is shaking, that's disgusting!
<> He may be laughin' now, but he better realize that Powers is in a heap of
cow manure an' thar might not be much left when, or even *if* Hawkins finds him!
<> Furia and WP both getting medical attention now, this place looks like a damn
train wreck, fans, we're being told that Ty Kross has some words for us in the back...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(The camera opens on 'The Ace' Ty Kross, sitting on a locker room
bench. Ty pulls his left elbow pad in place, then stares into the camera.)
[Kross]
Now you're sure that Nick Rierson will see this before he gets in the
ring, right hoss?
[Cameraman] *off camera, of course*
I can't make any guarantees, but I'm pretty sure he'll see it.
[Kross]
Make sure he does or it's your ass! Comprende' son?
[Cameraman]
Yes sir, Mr. Kross, sir.
[Kross]
First off, I'd like Zach and Dan Rierson to know there are no hard
feelings over the fact that they beat me in the middle of the ring
last week.
[Cameraman]
Are you serious?!?
[Kross]
Hell yeah, I'm serious... now keep you mouth shut, hoss! As I was
saying... I'm not gonna hold a grudge over the fact that it took both
of you over ten minutes to even come close to beat little ol' me in
a straight up fight. I'm not gonna hold a grudge that you paid off
my tag team partner so that he would leave when I needed a tag.
I'm not even gonna hold a grudge that you sabotaged the rental
car of Mr. Wrestling IV. Hell... I actually thought that was pretty
funny.
(Ty Kross stands up as the camera starts to focus in on his face)
[Kross]
Children of Apocalypse... I'm really glad that you gents have a
sense of humor. I was worried that you three were all serious
and demented. Now I know you're just three good ol' boys who
want to have a good time. Well that pretty much describes me
to a tee. Nick Rierson... you and me are gonna have some fun
tonight. See ya in the ring, partner.
(fade out)