/^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^C^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^//^^^^^^^^~RRRS/^^^^^^^^/KR
R((((R@@@@@@((((((G@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@t @@@@@@@@K QO @@@@@@@@C R
@B(((t@@@@@t(((((#@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@(7 @@@@@@@@e R@@@@@@@C RR
@@B(((R@@@%(((((@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@(%% @@@@@@@@7s@@@@@@@@ RR
@@@@s((B@%((((K@@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@eOOOOOOOG/%RQ #@@@@@@@@@@@@@@e RR
@@@@@O(%O((((B@@@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@^%GGGGGGSQRK#S K@@@@@@@@@@@@Q ##
@@@@@@(((((%@@@@@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@sCCCCCCs RRRRRS #@@@@@@@@@@Q QR
@@@@@@G(((B@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ####RRS R@@@@@@@@K QR
@@@@@@((%~#@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ #KKK#Q Q@@@@@@@@@@S #R
@@@@@((R@@(#@@@@@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ #KQR6 @@@@@@@@@@@@@B G
@@@@%(@@@@@t@@@@@@@@@@@@@S K@@@@@@@^^//////%R#RG R@@@@@@@@@@@@@@R R
@@@s(B@@@@@@s@@@B#O(/#@@@S K@@@@@@@^G######QQQS R@@@@@@@#K@@@@@@@Q(R
@@7Q@@@@@#G(^ ~tsQ#% ~BS K@@@@@@@^GKQQQQQQ#R @@@@@@@@Q B@@@@@@@7/R
@OBRSC/^~CeR@@@BRSO%tGB@O( K@@@@@@@^G#######R^B@@@@@@@R S6 @@@@@@@@(/
^/^~((((((( SKQQQQQ#O (((((((( 6RR~ (((((((( Q
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@>>>>>>>>>>
>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@>
>>>>>>>>>>@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
********************************************************************************
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*:::::___________.__:::::::::::::::::__:::::::::::::::::::::::.__::::::::::::::*
*:::::\_ _____/| |:::____:::_____/ |________::____:::____:|__|:____::::::::*
*::::::| __)_ | |:_/ __ \_/ ___\ __\_ __ \/ _ \:/ \| |/ ___\:::::::*
*::::::| \| |_\ ___/\ \___| |::| |:\( <_> ) | \ \ \___:::::::*
*:::::/_______ /|____/\___ >\___ >__|::|__|:::\____/|___| /__|\___ >::::::*
*:::::::::::::\/:::::::::::\/:::::\/::::::::::::::::::::::::\/::::::::\/:::::::*
*:::::::__::::::__::::::::::::::::::::::::::__::.__::.__:::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::/ \::::/ \_______:::____:::_______/ |_| |:|__|:____::::____:::::::::*
*::::::\ \/\/ /\_ __ \_/ __ \:/ ___/\ __\ |:| |/ \::/ ___\::::::::*
*:::::::\ /::| |:\/\ ___/:\___ \::| |:| |_| | | \/ /_/ >:::::::*
*::::::::\__/\ /:::|__|::::\___ >____ >:|__|:|____/__|___| /\___ /::::::::*
*:::::::::::::\/::::::::::::::::\/:::::\/::::::::::::::::::::\//_____/:::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::_________::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.__.__:::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::\_ ___ \::____::__:__::____:::____:|__| |::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::/ \ \/:/ _ \| | \/ \_/ ___\| | |::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::\ \___( <_> ) | / | \ \___| | |__::::::::::::::::*
*:::::::::::::::::\______ /\____/|____/|___| /\___ >__|____/::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::\/::::::::::::::::::\/:::::\/:::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*:::::::::::::The:Past,:Present:and:Future:of:Sports:Entertainment:::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
*::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*
********************************************************************************
_ \ |
| | __| _ \ __| _ \ __ \ __| __|
___/ | __/\__ \ __/ | | | \__ \
_| _| \___|____/\___|_| _|\__|____/
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(Dramatic music plays in the background as the following sound/video bites play)
Folks, tonight we crown a new World's Heavyweight Champion and someone has their
nightmare come to life.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
T.R. Parker is on the scene and he's headed toward the ring at top
speed...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Parker is down, the referee is checking his arm...it drops once...
an it would be a shame for Parker to go out like this.....
(Suddenly the lights in the arena flicker for a few seconds, go dark for three
seconds, then come back up)
WHAT THE HELL!?!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*A New-Orleans style jazz funeral march starts playing over the loudspeakers*
Oh god, I recognize that style of music...and so does King, he immediately
slid out to ringside and grabbed a chair!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
He's got to be coming from somewhere...lights are back on...PARKER'S
ON THE TOP ROPE...NO SIGN OF BLIND MELON CHITLIN OR MARCELLE KELLER!!!
King is looking for him...Parker TOP ROPE BULLDOG RIGHT INTO THE CHAIR!!!
King never saw that coming...count of one, count of two, COUNT OF THREE!!!
PARKER ADVANCES!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
...he drags Parker over to the ringpost...RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR!!!
KING IS BREAKING PARKER'S LEG, AND THERE'S NO ONE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
FUEGO FROM UNDER THE RING....BAMBOO STAFF BROKEN ACROSS THE
ALREADY INJURED LEG OF T.R. PARKER!!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Parker rolls Fuego over, and heads for the top. We could be seeing
the coup de grace here....Parker with the STRUTTERSAULT....Fuego got his
knees up!!! Fuego blocked the 450 splash!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Parker with an irish whip, reversed by Fuego into a short arm knee
smash, and CHAINED RIGHT INTO THE MUDSLIDE!!! *CROWD BOOS* Fuego
with the cover, no referee to count it....and CHRIS MONROE JUST HIT THE
RING *CRACK* BAMBOO STAFF OVER THE HEAD OF FUEGO!!! AND ANOTHER SHOT
ONTO THE HEAD AND KNEE OF PARKER!!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Monroe on the top rope now, in moonsault position....and he OVERROTATES
THE MOONSAULT, my god, that could almost be called a Reverse Swanton Bomb,
and he lays Parker right across Fuego!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
If he hits the reverse swan bomb again, Monroe will most likely
be advancing..waitaminute, Fuego hit the ring with a chair, and he
just mudslided TR Parker onto the chair!!!! What the...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Riley deciding he has had enough, he's calling for the bell,
meanwhile Fuego CLOCKED Monroe in the back...AND HE FALLS STRAIGHT
DOWN INTO THE CONCRETE!!! SWEET MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!! Referee
telling the ring announcer that he just disqualified Monroe for
Fuego's interference!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Monroe's spitting up blood, and Fuego's standing over him howling,
folks, Fuego has finally snapped! Monroe has gone one step too far in
breaking Fuego's mind - now Fuego's breaking Monroe's BODY..."MUDSLIDE"
FACEFIRST INTO THE CHAIR!!! And now referees, officials, everyone they
can find are literally dragging Fuego from the prone body of Chris
Monroe!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Frown with a lazy cover, laying backwards across Parker's
downed body *whump* and I fear the count here is *whump* academic...
NO!!! *CROWD POP* PARKER KICKED OUT! PARKER KICKED OUT!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
This is the signal for the Bitter Pill II, he's got
Parker by the throat and dragging him center ring...Parker with
a kick with his good leg, GOES FOR THE CUTTER...but Frown
kicks him right in the knee, and Parker lets go...Frown with
a from behind chinlock....SAMURAI BRAINBUSTER!!! THAT'S BITTER
PILL I!!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Frown with the cover...we have one....we have two....
we have three!!! That was just too much for Parker to come back from!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Frown no stranger to the outside of the ring, but thats in a
ground attack, Ernie goes through the AIR...Huracanrana over the ring barrier,
and Frown just spilled into the fans!!! Now Ernie rolling back into the ring..
he's not...he is...SPRINGBOARD SPLASH INTO THE FANS!!!! He just leveled
Ronnie Frown, and that was a good 12 foot leap!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Ernie now lifting Ronnie into a suplex..no, a gourdbuster over the
barrier, and Ronnie staggers backwards...Ernie springboarding off the barrier...
DEAR GOD!!! RONNIE CAUGHT HIM..SPINNING SPINEBOMB ON THE RING STEPS!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Frown back up, grabs ernie, CHOKESLAM LEGSWEEP!! BITTER PILL TWO!!!
FROWN COVERS...WE HAVE ONE, WE HAVE TWO, *DAMNIT* WE HAVE THREE!!!
*CROWD POP* Ernie's leg was on the ropes, and the referee saw it!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Ernie going to the top rope, the fans are on their feet! Ernie comes
OFF...SKYTWISTER PRESS!!!! *whump* FORGET ABOUT IT, *whump* this one's his..
FROWN KICKED OUT!!! IT was two and 99/100ths, but Frown got his shoulder up!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Frown rakes the eyes, and he twists Ernie around for the Samurai
brainbuster.... he lifts him up...Grendel overrotates, wraps his legs around
his head, FORWARD ROLL!! HE'S PINNED!!! ONE...TWO...THREE!!! GRENDEL
WINS!!! GRENDEL WINS!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
The fans are going...OH MY GOD!!! FROWN JUST ASSAULTED ERNIE
GRENDEL WITH THE TIMEKEEPERS BELL! ERNIE IS DOWN AND HE'S NEARLY OUT!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
He's got the barbers tools that were here at ringside!!! They were
here in case Grendel lost!!! He's got those scissors and the electric clippers,
and this is over the top, even for Frown, HE'S CUTTING THE HAIR OF ERNIE GRENDEL!!!
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Folks, Frown has shaved the head of Ernie Grendel, and he's motioning
for the cameraman...oh, how cute, he left enough hair fuzz to form a sad
face on the back of Ernie's skull
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
(Closeup of Frown kneeling over the fallen form of Ernie Grendel, grabbing his hair
and rubbing it in Ernie's face, yelling "Get Used to Disappointment!")
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
<<"Ready to Go" by Republica plays in the background as images flash onto the screen>>
[SONG]
It's a crack
I'm back
Yeah
Standing on the
rooftops
shout it out
Baby I'm
Ready to go
I'm back
and
Ready to go
From the
roof-
tops
shout it
out
________________
____/ ( ( ) ) \___
/( ( ( ) _ )) ) )\
(( ( )( ) ) ( ) )
((/ ( _( ) ( _) ) ( () ) )
( ( ( (_) (( ( ) .((_ ) . )_
( ( ) ( ( ) ) ) . ) ( )
( ( ( ( ) ( _ ( _) ). ) . ) ) ( )
( ( ( ) ( ) ( )) ) _)( ) ) )
( ( ( \ ) ( (_ ( ) ( ) ) ) ) )) ( )
( ( ( ( (_ ( ) ( _ ) ) ( ) ) )
( ( ( ( ( ) (_ ) ) ) _) ) _( ( )
(( ( )( ( _ ) _) _(_ ( (_ )
(_((__(_(__(( ( ( | ) ) ) )_))__))_)___)
((__) \\||lll|l||/// \_))
________ .___ __________
/ _____/ _______ ____ __ __ ____ __| _/ \____ / ____ _______ ____
/ \ ___ \_ __ \ / _ \ | | \ / \ / __ | / / _/ __ \ \_ __ \ / _ \
\ \_\ \ | | \/( <_> )| | /| | \/ /_/ | / /_ \ ___/ | | \/( <_> )
\______ / |__| \____/ |____/ |___| /\____ | /_______ \ \___ > |__| \____/
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/
( /(/ ( ) ) )\ )
( ( ( ( | | ) ) )\ )
( /(| / ( )) ) ) )) )
( ( ((((_(|)_))))) )
( ||\(|(|)|/|| )
( |(||(||)|||| )
( //|/l|||)|\\ \ )
(/ / // /|//||||\\ \ \ \ _)
___ __ _____ ___ __ ______ _____
/ _ )___ _/ / __ __ / _( )__ _ / _ \___ ___ ____/ /_ __ /_ __/__ / ___/__
/ _ / _ `/ _ \/ // / _/ / |// ' \ / , _/ -_) _ `/ _ / // / / / / _ \ / (_ / _ \
/____/\_,_/_.__/\_, / /___/ /_/_/_/ /_/|_|\__/\_,_/\_,_/\_, / /_/ \___/ \___/\___/
/___/ /___/
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
*********************************** @ Camera Cut @*************************************
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
//-----\\
// \\
| Caption | Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, PA
\\ //
\\-----//
(The EWC logo comes onto the Solotron, as a LARGE explosion comes off of the stage,
and a mushroom cloud forms as various smaller pyro effects go off at either side.
Colored lights enlighten the cloud as the other effects go and the shot widens to a
near-capacity crowd at the arena.)
It's been six long months, but we're BACK, and BABY, WE'RE READY TO
GO! EWC GROUND ZERO IN YOUR LIVING ROOM! We'd like to welcome any new
viewers courtesy of the FX Network, as well as our old fans who have been
waiting SIX LONG MONTHS to find out what's going to happen now that
Ernie Grendel has won the World Title, but has lost his hair, courtesy
of Ronnie Frown!
And he's lucky that Ronnie Frown let him off that easy! After Grendel
robbed him of the World title, I thought Ronnie would make him lose his
/LIFE/!
I think you want to say "People's Champion" Ronnie Frown, because
after losing to Grendel, Ronnie got to live out /HIS/ nightmare, and that is
that he now represents the interests of /EACH/ and /EVERY/ EWC fan... whether
he likes it or not!
I'm Isaac Cross, joined by Deric James and David Kang, and fans,
we've got a loaded show tonight, we kick off the Million Dollar Tournament,
and we'll be telling you more about that a little later on...
[Voice of Eminem]
{over the PA} OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself. You can
try this at home. You can be JUST ... LIKE ... ME.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ____ __ __ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ / __/__ / /__ / /________ ___ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ _\ \/ _ \/ / _ \/ __/ __/ _ \/ _ \@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/___/\___/_/\___/\__/_/ \___/_//_/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ ///((((((/// @@
@@ /(6@@@@@@@RR@@##@@@@@@@@Q6( @@
@@ /(Q@@@@##Qe#@Oe@@QQ@@@@@R#R@@@Q(/ @@
@@ (Q@@#QQ@O#@@eR@QQeQ@eQ@@@@Re##e@#QQR@@6/ @@
@@ @@@@@ee@eQ#O#@Qe@e#RQReee#@@Qe##@eQ@#ORRR@@/ @@
@@ /Q@QeR@ROeQ@@eQ@R#@R@@@@@@@@@@##@@Re@@#e@eQ@@@( @@
@@ 6@@R@#eQOQ#QR@@@@@@R#QQQQQQQQQ##@@@@@Qeee@eQ@eeQ@@Q/ @@
@@ 6@@#eR@@ee@@@@@RQeOOOeeeeeeeOQOeOeeOOOeQR@@RR#e@e@@R@@Q/ @@
@@ (@@@eQ@#QQQ@@@@QeOOeQe#OeeQeQeQQeQQeOOeOOeQ@@@ReQeReeeR@Q/ @@
@@ /Q@@@@@QOe#@@#eOOOOOOOeeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQee#Q#OOOQ@@@@e@@#eR@@6 @@
@@ (@@@@@@@@@@@QOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe#@eeee#eO#@@/ @@
@@ (@@QQ@@@#R@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#@#Q#eeeR@@Q @@
@@ 6@@@@#eeeQ@@OOOOOOOOeQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeeOOOOOOOOR@R@@eeeQ@@@/ @@
@@ (@ROeeOe#@@#OOOOOOOOQ@@@RQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe#@@@eOOOOOOOOQ@@R#@@@@@@@( @@
@@ /Q@Ree#eQR@ReOOOOOOOOR@@@@@QOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe#@@@@@#OOOOOOOOO#@@@@@@@@@@6 @@
@@ 6@R@@@QeR@ReOOOOOOOOOOOQ#@@@@@QOOOOOOOOQR@@@@@RQeOOOOOOOOOOOQ@@@#Oeee#@( @@
@@ (@@@QOOe#@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQR@@@ROOOO#@@@@#eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ@RQ@@@OQ@@/ @@
@@ Q@#eeeee@@#OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ@@QOOOOQ@RQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR@ee#@#R@@( @@
@@ /@@@#QeO@@ReOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeR@QeOOOOOOOOOeQQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe@@#eOeee@Q/ @@
@@ Q@QOeOeR@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeR@@##@@@QOOOOO#@@@R@#eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ@#Q@QRQ#@/ @@
@@ /@ReR@ReQ@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR@#eOOQ@@eOOOOOe@#QOQR@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ@RQ@@@@@@( @@
@@ (@@QOeee#@QOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe@@QeeOOQ@Q @@
@@ (@Reeeee@@QOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeR@#eOeQQ@@/ @@
@@ (@R###Q#@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR@#eeeeQ@Q^ @@
@@ (@Qe#Q##@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR@R#Q#Qe@Q @@
@@ 6@#OOeee@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeR@#eeeOe@Q @@
@@ (@R#@@RQ#@QOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe@@@@@@##@6 @@
@@ Q@QOee#@@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ@ReQeOe#@3 @@
@@ Q@QeeeeQ@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#@#e@eRQ#@/ @@
@@ (@@@@@#QR@#OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ#R#eQ@R###@#eeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe@@##@@@#@Q @@
@@ /Q@QQ#Oe@@@#OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQR@@@@eOOOQOOOOe@@@@#eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe@@@@#OeO#@/ @@
@@ (@@@ee#e#@@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ@@@@@@QOOOeeOOOQ@@@@@#OOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ@@QeOQReR@/ @@
@@ 6@QQ#@@@@@ReOOOOOOOOOOQ@@#QeOORQOOOeeOOO#ReOQ#@@#OOOOOOOOOOOQ@@@@@@QQ@@( @@
@@ ^Q@@@@@@@@@@QOOOOOOOO@QeOOOOOO##OOOOOOOe@QOOOOOOQ@eOOOOOOOOR@@@@@@@@@@( @@
@@ (@@@@@@@@@@@eOOOOOOQQOOOOOOOOQ@eOOOOOOQ@eOOOOOOOQQOOOOOOOQ@@@@@@@@@@Q @@
@@ (@@@@@@@@@@@OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe@eOOOOQ@eOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR@@@@@@@@@@Q @@
@@ (@@@@@@@@@@@QOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQR@@ReeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeR@@@@@@@@@@Q @@
@@ 6@@@@@@@@@@@#OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeR@@@@@@@@@@@( @@
@@ /Q@@@@@@ReQ@@ReOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeR@@@#@@@@@@@@6 @@
@@ (@@@RQeee#Q#@@RQeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOeQ#@@@@ReRQR@@@@Q/ @@
@@ (@@Ree#Reee#@@@RQQeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOe#@@@@Ree#R@OQ@@@Q/ @@
@@ (Q@RRO@ReQ#ee#@@@@@@@R#QQQQQ##R@@@@@@#eee#R#eeQQ@@6/ @@
@@ ^6@RQ##QeQQR@@@ReeQ@##R@RQ#R@@@#eQO#@Qee#ee#@@( @@
@@ @@@@ReeR@R#R@ee###eeeReeQ@@@@R#Re###ReRRR@@( @@
@@ /6@@@RR@@@#e@#e@Qee#QQOQReQ@QeQQ@R@@@@6/ @@
@@ /(6@@@@@RR@QQQe@QQeR@@@@@@@@@Q6/ @@
@@ /(6Q@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@6(/ @@
@@ ////////// @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@ *** @@
@@ ********* @@
@@ ****** ***** **** *** @@
@@ **** *** *** *** *** @@
@@ ** *** **** @@
@@ *_ _*_ **_ ___ ___ @@
@@ \__\ /\ \ /\ \ /\ \ /\ \ @@
@@ /:/ _/_ /::\ \ /::\ \ _\:\ \ \:\ \ @@
@@ /:/ /\__\ /:/\:\__\ /:/\:\ \ /\ \:\ \ \:\ \ @@
@@ /:/ /:/ / /:/ /:/ / /:/ \:\ \ _\:\ \:\ \ _____\:\ \ @@
@@ /:/_/:/ / /:/_/:/__/___ /:/__/ \:\__\ /\ \:\ \:\__\ /::::::::\__\ @@
@@ \:\/:/ / \:\/:::::/ / \:\ \ /:/ / \:\ \:\/:/ / \:\~~\~~\/__/ @@
@@ \::/__/ \::/~~/~~~~ \:\ /:/ / \:\ \::/ / \:\ \ @@
@@ \:\ \ \:\~~\ \:\/:/ / \:\/:/ / \:\ \ @@
@@ \:\__\ \:\__\ \::/ / \::/ / \:\__\ @@
@@ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/ \/__/ @@
@@ @@
@@ @@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/ __/ | /| / / ___/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/ _/ | |/ |/ / /__@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/___/ |__/|__/\___/@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
("Role Model" by Eminem begins to play, as the Solotron lights up
with a big green "yuk-face" symbol, that shrinks down to a smaller
animated symbol on the screen bouncing over a scrolling marquee on
the bottom half (like a singalong prompt): R-O-N-N-I-E-F-R-O-W-N.)
And speak of the devil himself, I think we're about to be graced
by the presence of the man who is now apparently the designated
"People's Champion" of the EWC, Ronnie Frown.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@ ___ __ __ ___ @
@| __|\ \ / // __| @
@| _| \ \/\/ /| (__ Ronnie Frown @
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(Sure enough, Ronnie Frown appears at the aisle entrance. He wears a
baseball cap and varsity-style jacket with the EWC logo on them, plus
a plastic toy championship belt (with a green "yuk-face" sticker
occupying most of the front). He walks down to the ring waving as if
a presidential candidate in a parade, apparently oblivious to the
crowd's reaction, entering the ring.}
[Ronnie Frown]
Hel-LLLOOO, Pittsburgh! {pauses momentarily through boos} I
know, I know, you've been very put out so far, but you can be HAPPY
now, because YOUR People's Champion has finally arrived!
[V/O]
YEA! IT'S A BRIGHT NEW DAY IN EWC!
Yes, it's been a long time to this day, but Ronnie the Role Model
IS back on television tonight, and that makes tonight special. It's
special because it's been a long, hard time for YOU, the wrestling
fan, actually having to make that supreme effort to get off your
couches, peel the remote controls from your carpal-tunnel paralyzed
hands, drive out to the arenas and stadiums of America and -- can
you believe it -- SPEND MONEY to see a wrestling show. But you did
it, night after night, you made that sacrifice, for ME, yours truly,
the People's Champion.
So tonight, tonight you get a break. Tonight, Ronnie Frown makes your
jobs a little bit easier. I've been canvassing the public opinion,
polling the electorate, to narrow down the possibilities to only
those matches I KNOW you REALLY want to see, four BLOCKBUSTER
matchups. All you have to do tonight is raise your voice and make
the magic happen.
(As if cued , the "Asshole" chant begins to go up loud and long)
{He turns around to sweep an arm pointing at the Solotron; names
and pictures come up to match Ronnie's descriptions.}
[Ronnie]
My opponents tonight could be ...
in a taped fist, taped-glasses match -- NEIL NERDLINGER!
*BOOOOO*
... a television exclusive -- RYAN from EWC.COM! Waaaiiit for it,
I know that's tempting but don't jump the gun ...
*BOOOOO*
... a handicap match with TIFFANY AND AMBER? OH, do I have my
thumb on the pulse of America tonight or what?
*A minor pop from the horny teenagers, but the boos still outnumber*
[V/O]
Hey... that gets MY vote, if it were... ummm...
pay-per-view worthy, if you read me!
And the fourth choice ... well, that'd have to be the LOWEST,
MEANEST, DIRTIEST player in the EWC game ... the most despicable
entity to ever step into a wrestling ring, the man I KNOW you
hate more than anything else ... the PHONY champion -- ERNIE
GRENDEL!!!
*BIG crowd pop for the EWC World Champion*
[V/O]
Oh, COME ON, who is this man trying to kid?
Well, to give credit, he IS stepping up to Grendel's level, which
deserves respect!
[Frown]
{wiping away a crocodile tear} I-- I'm choked up here ... you
people are just the best. Because you KNOW, when it comes to
Ernie Grendel, Ronnie Frown -- well, Ronnie's HURT. After all
I did for that man, defending his broken time and again body
in that battle royal to get the BEST spot in the Gauntlet,
giving T.R. Parker and his blindman's brute squad the sendoff
to keep him from doing Grendel serious bodily harm, even
improving his aerodynamic qualities to put the perfecting
touch on that dazzling aerial game of his ... well, does he
even thank me? THANK me -- do you know what he's been SAYING
about me the past months? It's horrible, just HORRIBLE, it
really is.
Now Ernie, I don't want a shot at your damaged goods title --
the fans HAVE the only championship they deserve {gestures to
his homemade belt} and we both know that's worth more than ANY
belt this promotion would allow you to touch! But the fans want
to be reassured, they need to be reminded that IF they needed
that little something extra, say if this lovely title shrinks
in the wash, well then all they'd have to do is make a wish and
Genie Frown will pick them up another belt at Grendel-Mart. I
know you won't say "no" to this, Ernie, because I know this is
the match that THEY want, and I intend to deliver....
(Suddenly, the opening strains of "Born on the Bayou" by Creedence Clearwater
Revival comes onto the PA system, and a good number of fans do some serious
popping for two reasons - they're wrestling fans that know the theme, and/or
they're fans of the Pittsburgh Gamblers, who use this song to introduce the
owner at games)
///-----\\\
| PA System | "Now, when I was just a little boy, Standin' to my Daddy's knee,
\\\-----/// My poppa said, "Son, don't let the man let you do what he done to me."
(At this point, out walks none other than Armand LeBeaux, wearing an EWC jacket very
similar to Frowns and a Pittsburgh Gamblers ball cap. The fans, who *DEFINITELY*
know LeBeaux in this town, give a very appreciative hometown pop. Frown just glares
as LeBeaux motions the fans to be quiet, but has to wait for a fairly loud "WEL-COME
BACK" chant to die down)
[V/O]
Folks, that is the OWNER of the EWC, and also the owner of the
SFL's Pittsburgh Gamblers, Armand LeBeaux, and this crowd giving him
one *hell* of a reception!
[LeBeaux]
*pauses* Now, where were we?!?
*CROWD POP*
Mr. Frown, I do appreciate your coming out here and getting the fans going for us,
for as you know, this a very important show, this is the RETURN of the Electronic
Wrestling Council to network television, so it was very important to send the right
EWC superstar to come out, and who better than the "People's Champion"...Ronnie Frown.
Now normally, it would be the commisioner of the EWC coming out to make official
announcements, but you see, at the moment - we *have* no active commisioner.
The former one resigned for personal reasons in the interim...something, sadly,
that many of our superstars made a habit of...ortunately, though, we *do* have a
new commisioner hired, and he or she will be starting her responsibilities as of
next week. As to who they are, well, that's something that will be addressed
in due time.
Now...msieu Frown....I'm standing back there and watching you go through a list
of candidates...of what you have seen fit to deem as "the people the PEOPLE wish
to see you fight". And while I thank you for your initiative, there is something
fairly important that you missed.
[Frown]
{Frown ticks off silently on his fingers for a moment.} "T&A, backstage involvement,
underdogs, and championships -- no, Mr. Ar-Mand, I think I hit all four major food
groups."
[LeBeaux]
(Has a look of annoyance on his face, but decides to let the comment go)
I have no doubt WHATSOEVER that these people would love to see you fight Ernie
Grendel...*crowd pop* - but the problem is, so would you.
And although I have no problem giving the people what they want, I
*do* have a problem giving you what you want. You see, back in January, you
made it to the final round of the Nightmare Gauntlet, and you know what, Mr. Frown?
You *LOST*! *Crowd pop* Sure, you may have a nice little token trophy in
a big fat tuft of the hair that you shaved from the head of Ernie Grendel...but
what you don't have is what you went in to get, and that is the EWC World
Heavyweight Championship.
{Frown scowls intently, beginning to pace from side to side slightly in
obvious agitation.}
And when you lost that match, your NIGHTMARE came true - the nightmare that you
would wrestle at the dictate of the public, fighting the menaces of the EWC, the
people that would bring down the fans. And I'm *SURE* that you wouldn't want the
fans...the people you pledged fealty to through that nightmare...to, as
they say, "get used to disappointment?"
[Frown]
That's right -- you are ABSOLUTELY right. And if you've got ANYONE in back who's
proven themselves more than a downer to this crowd than Mr. Ernie "Oops I Broke
It Again" Grendel ... Well, then, hey, bring 'em out.
[LeBeaux] (Flashes his trademark "You F'ed up" smile)
As a matter of fact....I do.
[V/O]
I think Ronnie just out-fasttalked himself right into the hands of
Armand LeBeaux!
No... what THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP has done is stepped up to any challenge...
like the PEOPLE'S CHAMP should!
(Crowd pops as the cockiness on Frown's face is replaced by a small look of annoyance)
But I'll get to that in a minute. The first thing I am doing is establishing a special
900 number - 1-900-Frown4U - In which EWC fans across AMERICA can call in and tell us
exactly where they want you to go....excuse me, I meant who they want you to fight.
But for this week, the choice is rather simple. There is a man in the back that,
believe it or now, draws the boos of these people even more than you do. He was
public enemy #1 in his last federation, and since coming here, he can lay at least
a disputed claim of driving two major EWC superstars - men the fans *LOVED* - out of
this sport. This man needs to be brought down, the fans need a hero to save the
day, and Mr. Frown, *YOU* *ARE* *THAT* *HERO*
{Frown grimaces intensely, opening his mouth a couple times to respond but words
obviously failing him.}
[V/O]
And LeBeaux just gave Frown a Bitter Pill of his own to swallow!
So Mr. Frown - your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not...
..will be to bring down none other than the leader of the Asylum, Chris....Monroe!
{Ronnie looks at Armand like he's grown a third eye for a moment, then whips his
head around from side to side to glare at the madly cheering crowd.}
[V/O]
Mother Mary, Frown is getting in the ring with Monroe!?!
And these ingrates... these HEATHENS... are cheering for this clash
of the titans! Hey, LeBeaux... forget about Monroe... WE WANT T&A!
This isn't a match that either Frown or Monroe asked for, but the
fans sure seem to be into the idea of two guys they hate beating the snot
out of one another!
Like him or not, though, Frown has stepped up to every challenge so
far... let's see if tonight will be an exception!
Now, Monroe is a very dangerous man, and he will cheat and lie and steal to beat anyone...
and being the fine, upstanding citizen that you are, at least, that you are for the
next few weeks, it is my duty to appoint an offical to this match that I know can
keep the control necessary for you to be able to have a fair, decent match with Mr.
Monroe. And you know who I always thought made the most imposing referees?
*BALD* Referees.
{Ronnie starts shaking his head in an anticipatory "Oh No" gesture.}
Did I say "Bitter Pill"? I think Frown is about to be forcefed
the bottle!
And since none of the current referee's are bald, I guess I'm just going to have
to appoint a special one...now, who in the back is bald? Oh, yeah....that's right...
ERNIE GRENDEL!!
*Mad Crowd Pop*
[Frown] *waving his arm*
"Now wait, WAIT just a minute, Mr. LeBeaux, I mean, take a moment to REALLY
think about this ...You're going to demean the World Champion of this federation by
putting him in a lowly striped shirt, in the same ring with Chris Monroe?"
[LeBeaux]
Mr. Frown...Ernie Grendel was the one who suggested the idea to me. He *VOLUNTEERED*
to put that striped shirt on! And who am I to not allow the World Champion this
one little bitty favor? I'm sorry, Mr. Frown, but my mind is made up!
I didn't get to be the owner, I didn't get to be the FINAL WORD in this federation,
by being wishy-washy. Tonight, you will fight Chris Monroe with Ernie Grendel as a
special referee. Oh, and the winner will get to face Ernie for the EWC World title in
the not so distant future. Call it for being so gracious as to take out EWC's
trash for us.
[Frown]
I think... *look of realization*...hold it. I beat Chris Monroe, and I GET a shot at Ernie.
That's what you just said, right?
[LeBeaux]
Yes, you must defeat Chris Monroe - now, by defeat, I mean *pin* or *make submit* -
and the same holds true for him. Because a TRUE AMERICAN HERO *never* takes the cheap
way out, right, Ronster?
This *has* to be killing Ronnie Frown inside, being forced to
fight on behalf of the EWC's paying customers!
Paying, Schmaying... he's fighting for that shot at giving Ernie Grendel
a PERMANENT injury... and, possibly, for that handicap match with Tiffany and
Amber...
Enough already with Tiffany and Amber!
So it's settled. Ronnie, you're NEVER going to forget tonight. Tonight is the
night you make EWC history...and the best part of it is, you're doing it all...for
your adoring public. *sly smile* Welcome home.
<"Born on the Bayou" kicks back in as Armand points a finger gun at Frown and
mouths "Bang...You Dead" at Frown, while Frown simply stands in the ring and glares)
Folks, we're kicking off the new era in EWC with a bang, as Chris
Monroe and Ronnie Frown square off TONIGHT, with a World Title shot on the
line!
This should be one for the ages, folks! Both of these men may aggravate
and confound the crowd, but they are BOTH among the most respected athletes in
wrestling today, and NEITHER has any love lost for the World Champion!
What's going to make this one really interesting is that Ernie Grendel
will be the referee for the match, and while the more immediate grudge may
be with Ronnie Frown, he has issues with Monroe over the fact that Monroe's
been calling himself the man who retired Bill Curtis, a close friend of Ernie's.
See! That's what makes this whole thing a crock! If you were a low
down dirty snake like Ernie Grendel - and the PEOPLE'S CHAMP said he's one, so
it MUST be true - would you count a pin or submission by either guy? NO! Ernie
just wants to make both Chris and Ronnie as much of a crippled gimp as he is...
but both Ronnie and Chris are too SMART for that! You'll see!
Folks, when we return, it will be the debut of one Marcus Oliver.
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(Cut to the locker room, where Jerone McShea is standing next to a man that stands
near seven foot tall with short black hair, and mean steel grey eyes. He is wearing
a black singlet with kanji characters on it, and jagged silver lines running down
the legs.}
[McShea]
I have with me the newest competitor to the EWC Marcus Oliver. Marcus, it's great to
have you here. What are your thoughts on the EWC, and what are your plans?
[Oliver]
This place is but a stop upon my path, a stepping stone, if you will. There are a
number of men in this business that have a date with destiny, and I am her hand.
As for my plans, I cannot reveal them to you. For as the great Sun Tzu said, "To
reveal your plans to an enemy, is to lose before you even begin."
[McShea]
Excuse me? Sun Tzu?
[Oliver]
Yes, you little twit. Sun Tzu. The greatest general of all time, and you just
so happen to be talking to his greatest pupil.
[McShea]
You spoke of people you have marked, and the fact that EWC is just a stepping stone.
Just what are you looking for here in EWC?
[Oliver]
*looking a bit annoyed* Do you have a brain in that little head of yours? I don't
want to be here! This place is a rat infested dung hole, almost as bad as the place
that Jimmy Buffett loving freak calls a school. I tried to join all those other big
promotions. They were just TOO SCARED I would injure their top talent, so they
turned me away. If it weren't for EWC's lagging ratings, I wouldn't even be here.
I would probably be off in California with some pathetic attempt at a backyard
promotion that is trying digging for whatever talent they can get.
[McShea]
Jimmy Buffett loving freak?
[Oliver]
Never mind him. This is MY TIME, and I won't share it with a camera hog like him.
Now, make with the questions.
[McShea]
Tonight you face Bean Martinez in your first EWC match. Any predictions?
[Oliver]
You really are retarded aren't you, McShea? Who the hell do you THINK will win?
See, here's the deal. The boss needed to cut back on a few of the losers on the
roster. He decided to put me up against Martinez, so I can hurt him, and they'll
have a reason to dump him. Now, do you see what I mean about how bad this place
is? They want people to get injured, so they can fire them. *He looks to the
camera* You suits think you control me. You think I'll do what you want.
You're right, I'll do your dirty work, for now. I just hope you're asking
yourself one question...Where does control end, and free will begin?
{With that, Oliver turns, and walks out of the locker room.}
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("Torn" by Creed begins to play, and Marcus Oliver walks onto the
ramp. He stands there for a bit, posing, and allowing people to fully take
in his girth. He then stalks down the isle towards the ring. At irregular
intervals, he wanders close to the guardrail, and threatens a fan as a
result of "them getting too close to him".)
Folks, we are getting our first look at Marcus Oliver, a trainee
out of the wrestling school of Steve the Insane, although Oliver doesn't
seem to be too proud of that fact.
Would you be proud of being taught by anyone named "the Insane"?
Sound it out, Isaac!
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I find it interesting that as soon as one "philosopher" leaves,
he's replaced by a near seven foot monster spouting Sun Tsu...and Bean
Martinez wasting no time with a dropkick as the big man comes into the
ring!
He NEEDS to jump in there! If Oliver really IS a student of Sun Tzu,
no doubt he has a head for the game that matches his garguantuan frame! This
is going to be a long, tough road for Martinez!
Stiff chop across the chest by Martinez, and give Bean credit,
he's not backing down from this guy, Martinez now with a kick, and he sends
him to the ropes, reversed by Oliver, and a big old Size 20 is DUCKED UNDER
by Martinez, Martinez on the rebound with a cross-body...and Oliver just
CATCHES him and holds him there!
See, Sun Tzu also said "Catch your opponent doing something stupid, and
you can pound him into jelly..."
Oliver pressing Martinez high over his head, and he falls
down out of it into a powerslam on Bean Martinez! Count of one, count of
two, and Oliver picks him up! He's not done with him yet!
Ummm... that wasn't in the copy of "The Art Of War" that I read... and
I'm sure Sun Tzu wouldn't pick up a defeated opponent like Marcus just did...
BIG rookie mistake!
A kick to the head by Oliver on the fallen Martinez, and a kneedrop
from the seven-footer, and as expected, Oliver using his size to dominate the
much smaller Martinez. Oliver yanks him up by the arm, and a HARD chop
nearly crumples Martinez once again! Whip to the ropes by Oliver, he grabs Bean
on the rebound and crashes down with a sidewalk slam! And another cover, count
of two, and Oliver AGAIN picking Martinez up!
Yeah, because the PEOPLE want to see more wrestling... and Marcus Oliver
is DELIVERING! Ronnie Frown's Pro-Fan attitude is spreading...
Or Marcus is a sadistic man that enjoys unnecessary violence...
Oliver hooking Martinez in a face to face half nelson...and just
TOSSES him over his head with a Gargoyle suplex, and Martinez looked as if
he took that impact right into the head!
Unnecessary violence... pleasing the fans... I dunno.. there's a pretty
gray area seperating those two.
Oliver picking up Martinez again, and this time going for a clawhold...
and he lifts him up IN THE CLAW and slams him down into the mat! And his
head took an 8-9 foot drop before crashing down! Oliver now making a
yin-yang symbol with his hands before setting Martinez on the top rope.
That claw-slam is a BIG move popularized in the SWA by Dream Succubus...
and Oliver is now going into dangerous territory for a big man by heading up
the turnbuckles himself!
Oliver planting his shoulder under Martinez right arm while draping
the arm over the left shoulder...and comes OFF THE TOP WITH A URANAGE
CHOKESLAM!!! Martinez bounces off the mat, and Oliver laying across Martinez
for an academic 3 count!
("Torn" by Creed kicks in once more)
Oliver dominant in this match against Martinez, but his first match
in the Million Dollar Tournament will be against Militar de Furia, and
I think Oliver will find Furia to be a bit more difficult than Bean Martinez.
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(Cut to EWC.Com's Ryan, prowling the backstage area. Right now he is
walking through the concession area, heading towards one table where we
see the current North American champion, "Stunning" Stevie Mauritz. He
is looking at his reflection in the North American title belt, and then
looking down at his face on a "Who's The King, Baby!" T-shirt on the
table next to him. Behind him, people are lining up to buy the wares on
the table)
[Ryan]
Stevie! Stevie, could we have a word with you?
[Mauritz]
Sure thing, my little anti cool friend, fire away. Just don't mess with
the Prime Merchandise's prime merchandise.
[Ryan]
Well, last time the TV viewing audience saw you, you took Damien Omega
to a 30 minute draw, barely coming out of it with your North American
title-
[Mauritz]
Woah woah woah! Slow down, grasshopper. I didn't "barely" come out of
it with my precious North American title, I DOMINATED that match. I
set out to outwrestle Damien Omega and I did just that, the Prime
Merchandise took care of business, strapped Damien Omega AND the live
audience into their seats and took them all on the ride of their life
time! I proved once and for all who the King is, bay-bee! And the fans
LOVED it. Just look at the way my merchandise is being ripped away by
rabid fans!
[Ryan]
Erm, that's not YOUR merchandise.
[Mauritz]
Yeah, the Prime Mer-what?
(The camera moves around the table and the big pile of Mauritz t-shirts,
to show the long line of people queuing up to buy...)
[Ryan]
They're actually buying Militar De Furia masks. And from what I can see,
they're selling like hotcakes!
[Mauritz]
What?
(Mauritz picks up a Furia mask and holds it up)
[Mauritz]
People actually like these??
(Mauritz holds the mask up to the light, stretching it. He then turns to
the camera)
[Mauritz]
Get the hell out of here!
(Mauritz shoves the cameraman aside as he leaves)
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Apparently the "Prime Dweeb", Stevie Mauritz, is taking a bit of
exception to the hot sales of the Militar de Furia mask!
Well, what kind of gimp goes to a wrestling show wearing a mask?
(Camera pans to a young fan wearing the mask and cheering when he realizes the camera
is on him)
Oh, wait... the gimp squad has apparently arrived!
Fans, when we return, it will be Mr. Furia in action against Derek King!