Cross: Ladies and gentlemen, we are back, and that was
about as wild a ride as it gets.
Lowe: Grendel keeps impressing me, especially for a
man under 200 lbs.....wait a minute....do I
hear a noise?
Stone: Oh my god.....
["Grey Matter" by Oingo Boingo comes up on the PA as, well, something
appears to be sawing though the bottom of the commentator's platform,
causing Crane, Stone and Lowe to scatter]
Cross: Holy...someone get a camera over here!
[As the camera team pulls back to get a longer shot of the carnage,
the smiling, if somewhat deranged face of Gerry "Loose" Cannon pops up
from the hole where the announce table just fell through. He's joined
by "Insane" Jules Baen and Dr. Kevin Schrapnel, Ph.D., and they take
a moment to soak up some crowd noise. Jules scores a mic from one of
the crew.]
[Baen]
[in a low rumbling monotone] Did you people MISS us?
[mutants galore! Take a deep breath, because this is what a crowd pop
smells like.]
[Cannon]
First of all, we'd like to thank Ms. Jansen, probably the most babealicious
commissioner to grace the Summit Wrestling Alliance since before Freeman had that
operation, for siging the necessary paperwork to allow us to work our special
magic on the unusupecting forms of Murder, Inc...
[Baen]
It appears we are to partake in a "Chicago Street Fight" -
[Cannon]
Chicago? We're not *in* Chicago, we're in NEW YORK! [Cannon calms down
suddenly, and in a normal tone of voice] ... which means we have to catch a bus
if we're going to meet them in Chicago...
[Doc]
[Soothingly] Don't worry about that, Gerald... I'm sure they'll be here. After all,
they signed the waiver... [to crowd] because, as you all know, the Electronic
Wrestling Council will *not* be held responsible for their actions... they are...
BEYOND (crowd joins in) OUR.... CONTROL!
("Grey Matter" by Oingo Boingo pops on again as the three men head
towards the ring)
Lowe: Damnit, it smells like sawdust in here. I can think
of things that smell worse, but not many I can mention
here.
Stone: Will *SOME-ONE* get a new table over here! They
*totally* destroyed our set.
Cross: I'll say one thing, they know how to make an entrance!
This is their first appearance since the closing of
the EWF, and they look primed for this match.
Stone: They looked deranged...but if there's *ANY* team
that can take them on...("Murder, Inc." by Bruce
Springsteen comes on) it's THE LEGENDARY MURDER,
INC.!
(Scenes of various gangster films play out on the screen as
the team of Frank "The Assasin" Spinelli and Terry "Hitman"
Haynes walk out to some decent heel heat, but several of the
mutants are cheering this legendary team returning to the
ring wars)
Cross: Murder, Inc. coming out by themselves, a big
change for them, as they have always had a
manager, be it Vicki Vegas in recent years or
Dominic "Da Boss" Altobelli.
Lowe: I sincerely hope that BOC stomps a mudhole in these
punks...they may have owned Chicago back in the 1950's
or whenever it was they wrestled last, but they need
to know and remember who is *really* the don of the
Chicago Underworld..and that's *me*
Stone: Do I detect some jealously, Jimbo?
Lowe: I'm just getting tired of pretenders to the..hey
wait a minute, Spinelli.....
(Spinelli and Haynes walk to the side where the announcers table
is set up and grabs a house mike)
[Spinelli]
All right, I want all of you morons out there, to shut up for
a minute so that I can talk to the two losers in the ring here.
(Eventually, crowd noise allows Spinelli to continue)
I don't know why you clowns came back to the EWC, but
Terry and I joined up to WRESTLE. Not to put on a blood-fest for
a bunch of in-bred cretins. Not to engage in a no-class brawl with
a couple of low-class punks. And definitely NOT to play your silly
game by your asinine rules. So if you fools think there's gonna be
a Chicago Street Fight going on here tonight....THINK AGAIN!
(Spinelli and Haynes turn around and start heading back up the ramp)
Lowe: Oh, this is priceless...they're RUNNING AWAY!!!
Cross: Spinelli and Haynes apparently deciding they
didn't come here to get into a hardcore match..
and BAEN AND CANNON HAVE OTHER IDEAS!!!!!
Stone: They're psycho!!! THey're charging up the ramp..
and HAYNES SPRAYS MACE IN THE EYES OF CANNON!!!!
Cross: It was a setup!!! Spinelli with a blackjack hard
on the head of Baen, and Baen knocked down hard
to the steel ramp. And now both members of Murder,
Inc hitting a double suplex on the fallen Cannon..
SCATTER!!!
*SHORT REPORT MODE ON*
The three announcers got out of the way as Cannon falls next to the
announcers table. Spinelli then grabs Cannon, kicks him *hard* in
the crotch, and nails a "Switchblade" Snap Suplex through the table
as Haynes nails Shrapnel with a DDT on the steel. As Haynes and
Spinelli walk away from the carnage, Spinelli yells to the camera
"That's the CHICAGO Way" as they head to the back. Baen is just
starting to come to and goes to check on Cannon as Cross grabs a
headset.
Cross: Go to commerical.....I said go to commercial, it's
chaos down here.....
*fades to commercial*